Categories for General

Hope

I rewrote this post twice now. Not sure what to say.

I do hope i can fix my life. It is a bit of a mess. I don’t worry that much about it. Maybe i should do that more. I honestly do not know the right answer to that.

Stand straight Ellen! Keep walking on!

Published on October 21, 2020 at 6:00 by

A perfect day

Such a day where it felt i couldn’t put a step wrong.

I talked, sat alone in my room, watched some youtube, played with Dahlia, made dinner, ate the dinner together with Jessica, Michael, Dahlia, Caroline and Jan, made coffee and tea, watched a movie, Batman Returns. Never saw that one before. Enjoyed it. Ate some chips. Made a miso soup for lunch. Showered. Washed my hair.

A normal, perfectly perfect day.

🙂

Published on October 12, 2020 at 6:00 by

Decay, reversed this time

The reverse order of the one i threw in 2019 in Decay.

9. Hsiao Ch’u / The Taming Power of the Small

above SUN THE GENTLE, WIND
below CH’IEN THE CREATIVE, HEAVEN

This hexagram means the force of the small–the power of the shadowy–that restrains, tames, impedes. A weak line in the fourth place, that of the minister, holds the five strong lines in check. In the Image it is the wind blowing across the sky. The wind restrains the clouds, the rising breath of the Creative, and makes them grow dense, but as yet is not strong enough to turn them to rain. The hexagram presents a configuration of circumstances in which a strong element is temporarily held in leash by a weak element. It is only through gentleness that this can have a successful outcome.

THE JUDGMENT

THE TAMING POWER OF THE SMALL
Has success.
Dense clouds, no rain from our western region.

This image refers to the state of affairs in China at the time when King WĂŞn, who came originally from the west, was in the east at the court of the reigning tyrant Chou Hsin. The moment for action on a large scale had not yet arrived. King WĂŞn could only keep the tyrant somewhat in check by friendly persuasion. Hence the image of many clouds, promising moisture and blessing to the land, although as yet no rain falls. The situation is not unfavorable; there is a prospect of ultimate success, but there are still obstacles in the way, and we can merely take preparatory measures. Only through the small means of friendly persuasion can we exert any influence. The time has not yet come for sweeping measures. However, we may be able, to a limited extent, to act as a restraining and subduing influence. To carry out our purpose we need firm determination within and gentleness and adaptability in external relations.

THE IMAGE

The wind drives across heaven:
The image of THE TAMING POWER OF THE SMALL.
Thus the superior man
Refines the outward aspect of his nature.

The wind can indeed drive the clouds together in the sky; yet, being nothing but air, without solid body, it does not produce great or lasting effects. So also an individual, in times when he can produce no great effect in the outer world, can do nothing except refine the expression of his nature in small ways.

THE LINES

Nine at the beginning means:
Return to the way.
How could there be blame in this?
Good fortune.

It lies in the nature of a strong man to press forward. In so doing he encounters obstructions. Therefore he returns to the way suited to his situation, where he is free to advance or to retreat. In the nature of things this will bring good fortune, for it is wise and reasonable not to try to obtain anything by force.

°Nine in the fifth place means:
If you are sincere and loyally attached,
You are rich in your neighbor.

Loyalty leads to firm ties because it means that each partner complements the other. In the weaker person loyalty consists in devotion, in the stronger it consists in trustworthiness. This relation of mutual reinforcement leads to a true wealth that is all the more apparent because it is not selfishly hoarded but is shared with friends. Pleasure shared is pleasure doubled.

18. Ku / Work on what has been spoiled [ Decay ]

above KĂŞn KEEPING STILL, MOUNTAIN
below Sun THE GENTLE, WIND

The Chinese character ku represents a bowl in whose contents worms are breeding. This means decay. IT is come about because the gentle indifference in the lower trigram has come together with the rigid inertia of the upper, and the result is stagnation. Since this implies guilt, the conditions embody a demand for removal of the cause. Hence the meaning of the hexagram is not simply “what has been spoiled” but “work on what has been spoiled”.

THE JUDGMENT

WORK ON WHAT HAS BEEN SPOILED
Has supreme success.
It furthers one to cross the great water.
Before the starting point, three days.
After the starting point, three days.

What has been spoiled through man’s fault can be made good again through man’s work. IT is not immutable fate, as in the time of STANDSTILL, that has caused the state of corruption, but rather the abuse of human freedom. Work toward improving conditions promises well, because it accords the possibilities of the time. We must not recoil from work and danger-symbolized by crossing of the great water-but must take hold energetically. Success depends, however, on proper deliberation. This is expressed by the lines, “Before the starting point, three days. After the starting point, three days.” We must first know the cause of corruption before we can do away with them; hence it is necessary to be cautious during the time before the start. Then we must see to it that the new way is safely entered upon, so that a relapse may be avoided; therefore we must pay attention to the time after the start. Decisiveness and energy must take the place of inertia and indifference that have led to decay, in order that the ending may be followed by a new beginning.

THE IMAGE

The wind blows low on the mountain:
The image of DECAY.
Thus the superior man stirs up the people
And strengthens their spirit.

When the wind blows slow on the mountain, it is thrown back and spoils the vegetation. This contains a challenge to improvement. It is the same with debasing attitudes and fashions; they corrupt human society. His methods likewise must be derived from the two trigrams, but in such a way that their effects unfold in orderly sequence. The superior must first remove stagnation by stirring up public opinion, as the wind stirs up everything, and must strengthen and tranquilize the character of the people, as the mountain gives tranquillity and nourishment to all that grows in its vicinity.

Published on September 29, 2020 at 6:00 by

Overnight thinking

A few nights ago i was lying awake in the middle of the night. Thoughts raced through my mind. I was writing a post. Mad as hell! I will remember this, i thought. I will write this up. It is important.

The only thing i remember now is the title. Mad as hell. I sort of know i could recall more, if i do my best. If i really think about it, if i try to get it back.

But no, i won’t do that. I have learned over the years that i need to give some things time to develop, to grow into fruition. If i need to do something, i simply need to give it time. It will come to me when it wants to. No need to force it.

This morning i got the thought of this post i’m writing now. Thinking about this process. I like it!

The rest of the day i will work on my drawing. This afternoon i will go to the Harvest Market on the Wilgenplantsoen. Tomorrow i will finish my drawing and post it. Four months! And even this week i got some new ideas to put into it. And some old ideas i finally drew in.

I am happy with it. Truly happy.

Published on September 24, 2020 at 6:00 by

Simple thoughts

Chance determines a large part of our lives. Chance gives us the families we are born in, the country we are born in. Chance determines our initial position and setup. Chance gives each person in this world a different environment to grow up in. If you are lucky. Sometimes chance makes you terminally ill. Sometimes chance prevents a person from being born at all.

Each life brings its own challenges, troubles, hurdles and boundaries. Some determined by chance, others determined by actions taken earlier in life. The older you get, the more your life seems set, determined by decisions made earlier. Whether you have a partner, children, a job, money, a house, family, friends. Most people make the big decisions in their late twenties and early thirties. Partner and children most of the time.

This is not a golden rule though. To me personally, i still feel freedom. I still love to let my mind run free. Let my thoughts roam around, trying to find something to think about. I still dream, fantasize. I can still cry over what my mind brings up to me. Like i did today, while i listen to music and fantasize over dancing and singing away in front of an audience.

I’m not saying i am the only one living like this. I do think it takes a conscious effort to keep this feeling of freedom and dreaming and fantasizing intact over the course of your life. And i can only speak for myself. I strive to keep this feeling alive and well. It makes life very enjoyable. Apart from all the hassles 🙂

Published on September 21, 2020 at 6:00 by

Out of home

It’s been almost seven months since i moved out of my old home. I still miss it, but it is getting less. It doesn’t hurt as much, not anymore.

This week i took up a little vacation. I am not working in the garden. Thinking about it right now. Is it what i want to do? For the rest of my life. Well, partly. I’d love to have my own garden. Have flowers, veggies, shrubs, fruit trees, roses, zinnia’s, nasturtium and cosmos in there. But gardening is not the most important thing to me. My drawing is. The most important.

My drawing goes slowly. But it does progress. Hopefully i can publish it in a few weeks. The end of September, beginning of October. It is still a new development for me. Been only drawing like this for less than a year. I do hope i will make it good for me. A good drawing, in which i am able to express some of my feelings about this world we live in.

Salute! Have a nice weekend.

Published on September 11, 2020 at 6:00 by