I have read, half-read, browsed through many books in the course of my life. Most i borrowed from the library. I went through whole sections in the library. In the early 80s i usually went for pychology. I remember reading books by Maslow about his hierarchy of needs. I bought the book Gödel, Escher, Bach written by Douglas Hofstadter and half-read it with much pleasure. At art school i went into the art section of the library and read many books written by art critics and books about artists and their work.
Language was another topic. Orality and Literacy written by Walter J. Ong made me aware the shape of language is dependent on the shape of the tools needed to use it. Written language, typed language, spoken language, sung language are all different. Current society with its many tools to preserve speech and songs is different from societies a hundred years ago. In the early 2000s i bought this book because i wanted to have it near me.
Philosophy, another topic. Many different philosophers from many different ages passed my hands: Plato, Spinoza, Heidegger, Wittgenstein, Foucault. None of which i completely understood, or understood at all, i admit now.
Right now i am in the first part of the history section. Philosophy of history it is called. I just half-read a book written by Jacques R. Pauwels called De grote mythen van de moderne geschiedenis (The great myths of modern history). Not read it thoroughly, no, but still learned about myths we are learned by media especially which are simply not true.
I have learned yes. Slowly. Over the years.
Last week i wrote something about the world being split. One side nature, with the changing of the seasons, the weather, the plants growing and giving fruit and vegetables. The other side the man made world, the world we live in with other people, the world made with texts and interviews and people’s opinions and many many talks and decisions.
I don’t know where i belong. Well, to be honest, i do feel i belong in my own world. But it is very hard and difficult to remain in there. The world is very difficult for people outside of the norm.
I do still trust myself. It is scary, difficult. But yes, i still feel i can turn my life around, make my voice be heard.