Author Archives for Ellen


Still reading, thinking. This afternoon i worked in the garden. It was quiet, not that many people. But it was good. Nothing new from me right now. Like i said, thinking.

I’ll be back tomorrow.

Published on August 13, 2018 at 6:00 by

Recent tracks

Carly Simon — You’re So Vain — Scrobbling now
Carpenters — Top of the World — 3 minutes ago
Tracey Thorn — Plain Sailing — 5 minutes ago
Talking Heads — Pyscho Killer — 10 minutes ago
The Jam — That’s Entertainment — 13 minutes ago
Steely Dan — Deacon Blues — 21 minutes ago
Kylie Minogue — Especially For You (Showgirl Tour – Live In Sydney) — 25 minutes ago
Julie Andrews — My Favorite Things — 28 minutes ago
Rip Rig & Panic — Sunken Love — 31 minutes ago
Andrew Lloyd Webber — I Don’t Know How To Love Him – Jesus Christ Superstar/Soundtrack Version — 35 minutes ago
The Beach Boys — God Only Knows – 1997 – Remaster — 38 minutes ago
Wire — Mannequin — 40 minutes ago
Rick Astley — Never Gonna Give You Up — 44 minutes ago
Roberta Flack — Killing Me Softly With His Song — 49 minutes ago
Shanice — I Love Your Smile — 53 minutes ago
Julie Andrews — Do-Re-Mi — 59 minutes ago
10cc — I’m Not in Love — an hour ago
Five — Keep on Movin’ — an hour ago
Scritti Politti — Lions After Slumber – 2001 Digital Remaster — an hour ago

Data copied on Thursday 9 August around 15:28 from my recent tracks page on

Published on August 10, 2018 at 6:00 by

The Hidden Connections

Reading a book written by Fritjof Capra, The Hidden Connections. In Dutch the book is titled De eenheid van leven.

Reading this book right now does awaken so many feelings and dreams. Too much to talk about here, right now. It does open a new area of books i want to read. Economics. Ecology. Our current neo-liberalism. The networked society. My head feels rather full right now.

Sorry for you readers who do not read Dutch.

A review from the Guardian: Network Culture (2002).

Capra’s is a cool and rational analysis rather than the work of a firebrand. But for those feeling a bit confused or helpless in the face of an unpredictable future, this is a great introduction both to the nature of the problem and the logic of the response. A book that could make a difference, if anyone is listening.

Published on August 9, 2018 at 6:00 by

No idea

I have dreams. Many dreams. Most are about someone out there who will fall in love with me. And i will fall in love with him. And we live on very happy together. Somewhere. Maybe even here in Rotterdam. In a house with a garden. My own garden. Rather big of course. And i will make it work. With a compost heap, rain falling in a water butt, a lovely smelling rose garden, a vegetable plot, herbs growing close to the kitchen. And we will have many people coming by and i will cook lovely food and bake cakes. And we will talk about the world and the companies and how things could be improved. And sometimes we go out and travel and visit the Oscars where i will wear this beautiful white and yellow and golden dress and i will go on television and do my best and listen to the people and try to make sense of it all and answer their questions as good as i can. And i will meet politicians and scientists and business people and talk with them about the world and which way we are heading and maybe we can prevent terrible things from happening.


I am still here, living in Rotterdam. I do bake cakes. I do work in the gardens around me, close to my home. Where i am allowed to keep on living for the next year and a half.

I don’t know what will happen. To me. To this world. Nobody knows what will happen.

Dreams. Dreams about another life, somewhere glorious.

But my life already is wonderful. I already do feel happy. With all the little things. The people living around me. Ordinary people i chat with. Or simply say good morning to in passing. I love living. I don’t worry.

Yes, i am working on my next videoclip. Filming people passing by, little children playing in the center with water features, older people sitting on a bench and feeding birds. I love it. Sitting outside in the center of the city and looking out and smiling and filming and trying to see a few thing in a new way.

I am not sure what will happen to me. I hope someday i will be so busy i do not have time to dream. That my life is so filled up with things to do i am happy to come home and relax a bit. And yes, that someday i will fall in love. I hope that will happen. But that is still hidden in the future. I don’t know what will happen.

I have changed myself. Changed the way i feel, changed the way i look out at the world. I have grown happier.

Happy. Here. Right now.

Published on August 7, 2018 at 6:00 by

A bit better

I’m feeling a bit better. Still tired. But better. Not sure where this came from. The heat? My lack of sleep? Simply lower resistance? I also got a cold sore on my lip, which is luckily already reducing. Still, i am feeling a bit better. It is warm, but a bit cooler than last week. Tired, but it’s okay.

Soon i’ll be back working on my new videoclip. Yeah! I had some good thoughts about it today. Some new things. You’ll see.

Enjoy your weekend. Salute!

Published on August 3, 2018 at 6:00 by