Author Archives for Ellen

My stuff

The next two weeks my head is gonna be full of things regarding my house and the move i’m making. So to give myself a little more peace and quiet, i will stop posting here for two weeks. I’m leaving you with this drawing i made of how i see myself and all the things that mean so much to me around me.


Saturday 25 January 2020
Things change all the time. So, i will not stop making posts for my site. I am inviting you to join me on this journey of losing and learning and deciding. At times i’m on the brink of losing my composure, but i’m still here, sometimes with teary eyes, but hey, that is part of living.

See you Monday!

Published on January 24, 2020 at 6:00 by

Possession in Great Measure

14. Ta Yu / Possession in Great Measure


The fire in heaven above shines far, and all things stand out in the light and become manifest. The weak fifth line occupies the place of honor and all the strong lines are in accord with it. All things come to the man who is modest and kind in a high position.


Supreme success.

The two trigrams indicate that strength and clarity unite. Possessions great measure is determined by fate and accords with the time. How is it possible that the weak line has power to hold the strong lines fast and to possess them? It is done by virtue of unselfish modesty. The time is favorable–a time of strength within, clarity and culture without. Power is expressing itself in graceful and controlled way. This brings supreme success and wealth.


Fire in heaven above:
Thus the superior man curbs evil and furthers good,
And thereby obeys the benevolent will of heaven.

The sun in heaven above, shedding light over everything one earth, is the image of possession on a grand scale. But a possession of this sort must be administered properly. The sun brings both evil and good into the light of day. Man must combat and curb the evil, and must favor and promote the good. Only in this way does he fulfill the benevolent will of God, who desires only good and not evil.

Nine in the third place means:
A prince offers it to the Son of Heaven.
A petty man cannot do this.

A magnanimous, liberal-minded man should not regard what he possesses as his exclusive personal property, but should place it at the disposal of the ruler or of the people at large. In so doing, he takes the right attitude toward his possession, which as private property can never endure. A petty man is incapable of this. He is harmed by great possessions, because instead of sacrificing them, he would keep them for himself.

°Six in the fifth place means:
He whose truth is accessible, yet dignified,
Has good fortune.

The situation is very favorable. People are being won not by coercion but by unaffected sincerity, so that they are attached to us in sincerity and truth. However, benevolence alone is not sufficient at the time of POSSESSION IN GREAT MEASURE. For insolence might begin to spread. Insolence must be kept in bounds by dignity; then good fortune is assured.

10. Lü / Treading [conduct]


The name of the hexagram means on the one hand the right way of conducting oneself. Heaven, the father, is above, and the lake, the youngest daughter, is below. This shows the difference between high and low, upon which composure correct social conduct, depends. On the other hand the word for the name of the hexagram, TREADING, means literally treading upon something. The small and cheerful [Tui] treads upon the large and strong [Ch’ien]. The direction of movement of the two primary trigrams is upward. The fact that the strong treads on the weak is not mentioned in the Book of Changes, because it is taken for granted. For the weak to take a stand against the strong is not dangerous here, because it happened in good humor [Tui] and without presumption, so that the strong man is not irritated but takes it all in good part.


TREADING. Treading upon the tail of the tiger.
It does not bite the man. Success.

The situation is really difficult. That which is strongest and that which is weakest are close together. The weak follows behind the strong and worries it. The strong, however, acquiesces and does not hurt the weak, because the contact is in goof humor and harmless.
In terms of a human situation, one is handling wild, intractable people. In such a case one’s purpose will be achieved if one behaves with decorum. Pleasant manners succeed even with irritable people.


Heaven above, the lake below:
The image of TREADING.
Thus the superior man discriminates between high and low,
And thereby fortifies the thinking of the people.

Heaven and the lake show a difference of elevation that inheres in the natures of the two, hence no envy arises. Among mankind also there are necessarily differences of elevation; it is impossible to bring about universal equality. But it is important that differences in social rank should not be arbitrary and unjust, for if this occurs, envy and class struggle are the inevitable consequences. If, on the other hand, external differences in rank correspond with differences in inner worth, and if inner worth forms the criterion of external rank, people acquiesce and order reigns in society.

Published on January 23, 2020 at 6:00 by

Too many things

Yeah, pretty sure now i will stop posting the next two weeks. My head is too full. Just got out of bed once again to write this. Too many things to do. But, it is not going too bad. Happy i got quite a few friends! Yay!

Published on January 22, 2020 at 6:00 by

A head full

A head full of thoughts. The coming weeks are gonna be difficult. Will need all my attention.

The past week i saw some videos about wu wei. Effortless action. I need to read more about this, its history. I do feel it is applicable to my current situation. To me, the way i want to live my life. I don’t know enough about it to be sure.

I will post this week. I almost forgot this one, i confess. Got out of bed to write it. Next week, i am not so sure. Uncertainty rules in my life right now! I will let you know here, hopefully soon.


Published on January 21, 2020 at 6:00 by

A mess

I have only two weeks i can stay in my house. Less than two weeks. And i need to decide what i am going to do. And i have decided. For now. I do need some help. And i’m happy i am getting some help.

I hope hope hope things will go alright for me the first months. And i am still working, drawing, making my thoughts known to people around me.

It is a mess, yes. But it is fine. I can deal with it. I hope 🙂

Published on January 20, 2020 at 6:00 by

Everyone is alone

First i wanted to make a post titled True Love. I had already written this post though. So no. I have also written a post called Alone. Way way back. But this subject stuck with me during the day. So i settled for this one, Everyone is Alone. True.

You can battle this aloneness. Make friends with whom you can go out, go see a movie, have dinner with. Chat with, shop with. Have sex with. Have a significant other. Have children.

All things to battle being alone with. As do i. The dinner party of last Sunday is a prime example. My friends, from the garden, from the harvest market. All people i have met over the past three and a half years.

But we all are still alone. Each and everyone. Something we all need to deal with. Preferably. It is not something we think about each minute of each day. But it is always there, lurking behind the leaves, behind the buildings, behind all the other people surrounding us. Alone.

I can only talk for myself here. I don’t know how other people deal with this. I know of myself a bit. I used to drink a lot more than i do now. In order to forget. To spend my time not thinking. I still have many issues, but i am dealing with most of them. I am reasonably happy. I enjoy saying good morning or afternoon or day to people i pass on the street. Some reply, some don’t. It doesn’t matter. I try to keep my calm. I try to look outwards as much as possible. I try to think about everything i feel. Everything that happens to me. Too many things really to feel completely alone. That does help me.

I don’t feel bad at all. I do cry at times. This morning i did. But it passes. And then i feel good again.

I hope you will have a good weekend. Salute!

Published on January 17, 2020 at 6:00 by

Some links to recipes and a couple of thoughts

I felt a bit more as usual today. Yesterday i was at home the whole day. I did do some dishes. I cleaned up the table in the front room. I cleaned up my kitchen. This morning i started with doing some more dishes. I still have some to do. Mostly the pans and bowls are having everything soaked off right now.

Today i walked by Julien. He has a room for rent for two months, starting January 31. So i went though the room and i will rent it – for only 250 euros each month. This gives me more time to look for another cheap house, preferably in the northern part of Rotterdam.

Thinking back about the dinner party makes me feel very happy. It still is in my head.I know i need to start thinking about packing, throwing things away, giving things away. And i will! But i do still feel a bit rosy afterwards. Bless all my guests!

I have some links to recipes for you from last Sundays dinner.

Published on January 15, 2020 at 6:00 by


Chicory leaves
Cherry tomatoes
Roasted Garlic Lupini Bean Dip
Salted Butter
Sunflower Pumpkin Linseed Chia Seeds Crackers

Main Course
Pumpkin, Chestnut and Cashew Nut Roast
Baked Brie with Nuts and Figue Jam
Chicken Liver Pate
Oven Baked Goose

Celeriac, Hazelnuts and Lentil salad
Beetroot salad
Brussel Sprouts salad
Boiled Leeks with a dressing
Baked Goudreinet Apples stuffed with Onions and Sage
Boiled Potatoes

Cranberry sauce
Onion Marmelade
Green Tomato Chutney

Wines and Drinks brought by the Guests

Vegan Trifle
Chocolate Mousse with Whipped Cream

Tea – Green Tea with Jasmin, Starry Mix, Earl Grey
Ginger Tea
Self Made Vegan Chocolate Truffles with Calvados
Calvados V.S.O.P.
Tawny Port

Published on January 13, 2020 at 6:00 by