Author Archives for Ellen

Between my house and the garden

The trees and the bridge
Under the bridge
The old Shell building
Tree and buildings
A bee on a flower (no idea what flower this is)
Bindweed flowering (grrr)
Dry grass
Pink and orange
Deep purple
Published on July 23, 2018 at 6:00 by

Thursday 19 July 2018

Thursday morning i woke around eight. I read some blogposts on my iPad before i got up around half past eight. For breakfast i had two cracottes with a boiled egg. Yum. I emptied the cat litter box, wiped the area around it. Brushed my teeth, put on my day cream and put on my black dress and went outside. Opening the Tuin op de Hofbogen. It was warm today. Not too warm. A light cooling breeze.

I walked to the garden. Past the woman with the little dog calld the same as my cat, Muis. Which means Mouse, in case you were wondering. I stood for a bit at the dogs place, watching the dogs out there. Most look a bit like wolves, with very light eyes. I let them sniff my hands. One i could stroke. He liked it.

On towards the garden. I got in through the side entrance. First i walked to the back, opening the gate there. Than up to the front, the gate with the Luchtsingel. I saw some people with children standing at the gate, but they walked down before i got there. I wanted to wave, but they were too far away. At the gate i called Rob. Rob has a app which opens the gate. I had to call a few times before i got him on the line. And hey, the people were coming back! They waited a bit before i got through to Rob. And then finally the gate was open, the people walked in and i walked out.

I saw a bicycle standing outside the Vredestuin. I walked up there and saw Hilde was working there. After a short chat about brassicas and the time of work tomorrow i walked back home. ooh, first i went past the poulterer and got myself some chicken livers. I do eat less carbs, more proteines. More cheese and meat i’m afraid.

Back home i made myself a cup of tea. Checked my iPad again. Then i went and sat behind my computer. An update. I decided to go through with this, took around half an hour. I read a book New Urban Farming. Nice one.

When my computer was all updated i went and started up World of Warcraft. First a battle pet fight on Rhoan, my 91 druid. Still need to level her. Patch 8.0 was released yesterday. Still some thing to get used to, but for my rogue most things were easy to adjust. Weird to see so much lower numbers. That item squish is quite something. I did buy a legendary for my 108 shaman. And then i tried to get into the shaman’s class hall. And wow quit on me. Three times. I gave up after that. Hmmm. Back to my rogue, did a few battle pet world quests. Then i finished four the Warder’s world quests and got my rep for them closer to revered. Not there yet.

For lunch i made a salad with chicken livers. A tomato, half a courgette and some swiss chard.

After lunch i watched the Tour de France for a bit. After half an hour or so i went back to my computer and started up Final Cut Pro. I watched the video’s i made yesterday, the ones i made a week and a half ago. I also went through some instrumental numbers in my iTunes, found a couple i added to see if they are any good. Still very much in the early stage of this new project. Lovely to see the new vids.

Back to the Tour de France. Todays was a big one, the Alpe d’Huez. For a while it looked like Kruijswijk would win. But the time of his lead diminished from six minutes until three and a half kilometers before the end he was finally past by by the top three of the general rankings: Thomas, Froome and Dumoulin.

In between i made a courgette cake. Just my basic recipe. With 200 grams of buckwheat and 100 grams of almond flour. I did take a slice once it was done. The rest i will take with me tomorrow when i work in the garden.

Some youtube videos. Some yoghurt. Still a bit hungry and up for some savoury after that, so i baked an egg with some bacon with two cracottes.

The rest of this evening i will watch the Great British Bake Off. I don’t know about the rest of this evening. I usually go to bed around ten till half past ten. Do some reading in bed, a book or on my iPad. Try to get some sleep. Last night went well actually.

To you, have a good weekend. Enjoy!

Published on July 20, 2018 at 6:00 by

Random thoughts

The past two years i have been working in the garden. I haven’t been looking for working. A few things i turned down. Not my thing. No experience with the requirements. It doesn’t feel like i actively stopped looking for work. It slipped away.

A few days ago i had a short talk about the videoclip Spring i made. I still need to learn so many things. About filming, about editing, about what thoughts i can put into it. I do know i need to stay close to my life as it is right now.

It is difficult since almost everyone has a passive knowledge of how these videoclips should look. Our lives are saturated with commercials, movies, videoclips. It is hard for me to go through this and try to make something which i like to look at, something from which i can learn. Something new. But also old.

It is difficult. But i can not stop. I do want to get to what i want to say. I do have these images in my mind. I do want to get there.

So yes, gardening is taking a step back. A bit unsure about it. And i wont leave it all together. But the focus is on my work. As it should be.

Published on July 18, 2018 at 6:00 by


The song i talked about last week, Reasons, from Earth Wind & Fire. Love this song, but it is a hard one to sing. So this time only a part.

At the first sound i crinch. Eew. It gets a bit better, but it is hard listening to myself. Brrr.

Now, I’m craving your body, is this real
Temperature’s rising, I don’t want to feel
I’m in the wrong place to be real
And I’m longing to love you just for a night
Kissing and hugging and holding you tight
Please let me love you
With all my might

Reasons, the reasons that we’re here
The reasons that we fear
Our feelings won’t disappear

And after the love game has been played
All our illusions were just a parade
And all the reasons start to fade

La, la la la, la, la la la
La, la la la, la, la la la
La, la la la, la, la la la
La, la la la, la, la la la

After all our reasons why
All the reasons were a lie
After all the reasons love
Love was left aside

And, longing to love you for one night
Please let me love you with all of my might, baby
Ooh baby

Reasons, the reasons that we’re here
The reasons that we fear
Our feelings won’t disappear

And after the love games have been played
All our illusions were just a parade
And all the reasons start to fade

And, in the morning when I rise
No longer feeling hypnotized
For no reasons, our reasons, our reasons
Have no pride

After all our reasons why
All the reasons were a lie
After all the reasons love
Love was left aside

I can’t find the reasons
That my love won’t disappear
Can’t find the reasons
Why I love you, my baby, my dear
Can’t find the reasons
Wanna love you all night
Can’t find the reasons
Gotta squeeze ya, real tight
Can’t find the reasons
Baby yeah
For my tears
Can’t find the reasons
Why I love ya

This player uses cookies in accordance with Soundclouds Cookies policy. They may collect usage data for analytics purposes.

Published on July 13, 2018 at 6:00 by

Low carb

Seven years ago i was diagnosed with diabetes. Since then i took pills. And for two years i have been giving myself insulin after i have measured a too high glucose in my blood. I also started to go to a dietitian again. Seven years ago i went to another dietitian, but it to my liking. The only thing i learned was to spread my meals a bit during the day. I also got a piece of paper with the traditional low fat meals on it. I never used it.

I have been talking with my current dietitian about my food. I do have a sweet tooth. I do enjoy bread. Potatoes. Pasta. The one thing i learned through reading online is that low-carb is a good type of diet for diabetes.

I talked with my dietitian about this and i have tried to minimize my carbs. With difficulty.

At the start of June, just over a month ago, i decided to really make a go with it. These are the rules from A Guide to Healthy Low-Carb Eating with Diabetes i follow:

Foods to Eat

  • Meat, poultry and seafood
  • Eggs
  • Cheese
  • Non-starchy vegetables (most vegetables except those listed below)
  • Avocados
  • Olives
  • Olive oil, coconut oil, butter, cream, sour cream and cream cheese

Foods to Eat in Moderation

  • Berries: 1 cup or less
  • Plain, Greek yogurt: 1 cup or less
  • Cottage cheese: 1/2 cup or less
  • Nuts and peanuts: 1–2 oz or 30–60 grams
  • Flaxseeds or chia seeds: 2 tablespoons
  • Dark chocolate (at least 85% cocoa): 30 grams or less
  • Winter squash (butternut, acorn, pumpkin, spaghetti and hubbard): 1 cup or less
  • Liquor: 1.5 oz or 50 grams
  • Dry red or white wine: 4 oz or 120 grams

Foods to Avoid

  • Bread, pasta, cereal, corn and other grains
  • Starchy vegetables like potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams and taro
  • Legumes, such as peas, lentils and beans (except green beans and snow peas)
  • Milk
  • Fruit other than berries
  • Juice, soda, punch, sweetened tea, etc
  • Beer
  • Desserts, baked goods, candy, ice cream, etc

I have minimized my alcohol ever since 2011. A year and a half ago i stopped drinking wine at home. I drank two bottles a week then. Now i occasionally drink wine or beer. Usually once a month. Longer even. Sugar, desserts, cakes and all, that is hard to leave standing. Really hard. still working on it. Coffee is hit and miss. The past three weeks i did drink coffee at home, with sugar and cream. I will go back to tea once the coffee is finished. Tea i drink with no sugar. Bread is difficult. Today i baked a new bread, with lots of eggs, courgette and coconut flour. I like it. I will try more recipes. I’ll keep you posted here about them!

I am happy i am an omnivore. It would be really difficult to eat low-carb as a vegan.

My glucose has been significantly less the past month. I just got to keep it up.

Published on July 12, 2018 at 6:00 by


Walking around my house, looking at the apartments, rising up in the sky. Listening to the people working in the house besides mine. Looking at the cat playing outside, looking up into the tree.

Looking at the trees. Listening to the birds. Watching the cars passing by. Working in the garden. Eating the courgettes. Opening the garden in the morning. Closing the garden in the evening.

My life is passing by gently. For now.

I am filming. Since last week. People. The people living their own lives.

Hoping i can make something good.

I love to work on it. Filming. Editing. Looking at the clips i have made.

My life for now.

I do look to the sky, the moon when i can see it while i walk to the garden. I think about now. This now which moves on for everybody. Nobody can escape this continuously moving on nowness. You can of course hide in your mind, in another time, in another place. But hiding doesn’t make you escape anything. I love to look at the sky, think of this world as it is. Now.

Published on July 10, 2018 at 6:00 by