Author Archives for Ellen

My story

In a week’s time i will sell my house. I admit, i feel sad about it. I will remain here for the next two years, so that does soften the blow a bit. I will get some money, from which i can live for the next four or five years.

It is a mixed bag. For now, i feel happy. I will get some new computer stuff. I will keep on working. And two years does feel like a awful long time. I am hoping things will change in that time for me. I will work hard for that.

For now, i will keep on posting as long as i have internet at home. It could be i’m out of it the next few days. Next week it’ll be back on. I do feel tired. But be sure, i will not give up.

Bye bye!

With love, Ellen

Published on January 16, 2018 at 6:00 by

Parsnip cake

A sunny day. This evening we will be looking at the stars and the planets. Maybe the moon as well. I don’t know if it is visible here. We’ll see!

This morning i baked a parsnip cake for Daniël. Yesterday i made pumpkin soup for this evening. A bit spicy, with a large winter carrot, a parsnip, onions, garlic, ginger, three hot peppers. I hope it is nice. Spicy.

Ingredients

  • 160g whole flour
  • 2 tsp baking soda
  • 3 tsp cinnamon or mixed spice
  • 1 tsp cardamom
  • 150ml vegetable oil
  • 200g light soft brown sugar
  • 3 eggs
  • half an orange juice
  • 200g finely grated parsnips
  • 80g raisins or sultanas

How to

  1. Place the flour in a bowl and stir in the cinnamon, cardamom and the baking soda, put to one side.
  2. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F. Line a large loaf tin with parchment.
  3. Beat the sugar with the oil with a hand held or in a standing mixer. Add the eggs and the orange zest and beat in well. Stir in the grated parsnips followed by the flour and mix it in. Stir in the raisins.
  4. Bake for around 50 minutes.

I discovered some old Wire gig footage on youtube this weekend. Here is one for you.

Published on January 15, 2018 at 6:00 by

Simone de Beauvoir

Published on January 11, 2018 at 6:00 by

Drawing in the garden

It wasn’t a premonition to draw more this year. But this is what i am doing. The past two days in the garden i did make drawings. With pencil, charcoal, conte carré. It is not really about the drawing itself. Not about making something beautiful. It is about looking intensely around me. Basically, i can draw anything.

It does remind me of a time a long while ago, before i went to art school. I would like to get that back. That feeling of discovery. Of looking around. Intensely. Measuring with my eyes. All the distances which are elements of what i am looking at. Being quiet within myself.

I also walked about the garden. I saw these roots with tiny green leaves popping out. Supposedly chicory. Also some tiny apples still on the trees. Four or five centimeters wide. Wonderful.

Published on January 10, 2018 at 6:00 by

Walking

This Monday morning the sun was shining. It was cold. I got dressed, put on my shoes and coat, a warm scarf and went outside.

First i walked to the garden. Yesterday i took two empty bottles with me to fill with water. Today i brought them back and put them in the shed. I watched the birds. A great tit. Yes, a koolmeesje. The pallet was back! Yesterday i couldn’t find it.

I walked past the central station. Standing at the Christmas tree for a short time, talking to the men who were getting the lights out. Wondering where the tree was headed to. Walking through the Gouvernestraat. Looking in the shop Das Brot. Still closed. Walking through the Marqt. Two months ago it closed and moved to the Nieuwe Binnenweg. Where the old Centrum Beeldende Kunst was. Nothing remains. I talked with the man behind the cheese counter for a short while.

Walking past the shops, the Westerpaviljoen, Museum Boymans. Into the Zeeman. Just curious. Buying myself a sandwich chicken curry. Sitting on the Lijnbaan and eating it slowly. Watching the faces of the people walking by. The people eating something. The children. Walking to Amac. Hmm. I don’t want to buy my new things there. No no no. I’d rather go the an Apple store.

Walking over the Meent. It is still cold. The sun is hiding behind the clouds.

Walking back home.

Published on January 9, 2018 at 6:00 by

A cold winter’s day

Laughing gas capsules left on the square in front of the garden. Sad to see the mess some people leave behind.
It was cold. Two degrees Celsius. Drinking warm coffee to get a bit warmer. And eating cake. The chocolate beetroot cake, the orange cake. All baked by the volunteers working in the garden.
Yesterday i made fat balls for the birds. One part seeds and raisins, one part warmed up lard mixed together. I used old plastic pots to pour the mixture in and let it get cold.
Another shape of fat ball.
A bright blue sky, the sun really low. Beautiful weather. Cold, yes.
I made a drawing. Looking out on the garden and tracing what i saw. I will try and draw more in the garden. The date is wrong by the way. Today, Sunday is the seventh of January.
Published on January 8, 2018 at 6:00 by

Dreams

I never was a huge Fleetwood Mac fan. I have one single in my collection. Go Your Own Way. A few weeks ago i saw Nerdwriter‘s video on how Fleetwood Mac creates this song, Dreams. I know this song. Of course. But this video made me realize how beautiful this song is. Haunting. So i am choosing this song to sing. Now. I hope you enjoy it.

Dreams
Fleetwood Mac
Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well, who am I to keep you down?
It’s only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness

Like a heartbeat.. drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost…
And what you had…
And what you lost

Thunder only happens when it’s raining
Players only love you when they’re playing
Say… Women… they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean… you’ll know, you’ll know

Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
It’s only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and…
Have you any dreams you’d like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness…

Like a heartbeat… drives you mad…
In the stillness of remembering what you had…
And what you lost…
And what you had…
And what you lost

Thunder only happens when it’s raining
Players only love you when they’re playing
Say… Women… they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean… you’ll know

Thunder only happens when it’s raining
Players only love you when they’re playing
Say… Women… they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean… you’ll know

When the rain washes you clean… you’ll know
You’ll know
You’ll know
You’ll know

Published on January 5, 2018 at 6:00 by

Drawings for presents

A few days ago i cleaned up the lower bit of the big closet behind my desk. I plan to do more drawing. With pencil, crayon, watercolour. Up to A3 size format. I set my old skechbooks there. I went through them. In this one there are a few important drawings. The drawing for the printed cards i still have loads of. The drawing i used for my old site as the preview page. A drawing from me standing on the world, used in homebase.

Very different drawings from now. A bit more anime style. I like em, but i don’t do drawings like these anymore. Right now, i’m happy i’m back to drawing. And photography. And video 🙂

Published on January 4, 2018 at 6:00 by