Author Archives for Ellen

Singing

This afternoon i sang along with my songs playlist. It felt good. I could hear my own voice clearly. Pronunciation is getting better it feels. I’m still not sure what song i will sing next. I have a couple on my list. It needs more time. To settle.

I also read some more. De utopie van de vrije markt written by Hans Achterhuis. I came along these clips from a Dutch television program VPRO Boeken (Books).

Enjoy your weekend!

Published on August 24, 2018 at 6:00 by

Rambling

I have talked about myself and my sex life here.

Last night i was lying awake. I tossed and turned. I read a book. I went out of bed and played a bit of warcraft. And i was thinking. About writing this post. About my sex life. From my own point of view.

When i started on this post, i decided to go back and read older posts i had written about this. Too many!

Not that i mind a bit of repetition. This blog has updates five days a week, it will not be all shiny and new. There are also many different sides to ones life. Many different ways to think about it.

My silent years. The years between 2006 and 2014. The years in which i played world of warcraft. The years in which i didn’t work on my website, lfs.nl. I was thinking about it, especially closer to 2006. Nothing. And then that moment which i can still feel. That sledgehammer hit. Where it all came back alive. Confusing. Breathtaking. My decision then to start working again on lfs.nl. That final post About. Two weeks after that the first post on this website. And an about page here as well. Over three years.

I am not sure where i am heading. I have dreams. Wishes. Of course. I have a bit of money. A bit of time. But it is not set in stone.

I need to work! Work hard! Don’t give up! Don’t let other people confuse me. No way!

I apologize for this rambling post. Tomorrow is another day with a new post. See you then!

Published on August 22, 2018 at 6:00 by

Forgotten

I was just lying in bed, watching the Dutch television show Zomergasten when only a minute go i realized i had forgotten about tomorrow’s post.

Damn.

So here it is. A forgotten post.

Salute!

Published on August 20, 2018 at 6:00 by

My fault

There is no settling down without some settling for. There is no long-term relationship not just putting up with your partner’s flaws, but accepting them and then pretending they aren’t there. We like to call it in my house “paying the price of admission.”

[…]

You can’t have a long-term relationship with someone unless you’re willing to identify the prices of admission you’re willing to pay — and the ones you’re not. But the ones you’re not — the list of things you’re not willing to put up with — you really have to be able to count [them] on one hand…

People, when they’re young, have this idea… “There’s someone out there who’s perfect for me”… “The one.”

“The one” does not fucking exist.

“The one” is a lie. But the beautiful part of the lie is that it’s a lie you can tell yourself.

Any long-term relationship that’s successful is really a myth that two people create together … and myths are built of lies, and there’s usually some kernel of truth…

When you think about it, you meet somebody for the first time, and they’re not presenting their warts-and-all self to you — they’re presenting their idealized self to you, they’re leading with their best. And then, eventually, you’re farting in front of each other. Eventually, you get to see the person who is behind that facade of their best, and they get to see the person your facade, your lie-self — this lie that you presented to them about who you really are. And what’s beautiful about a long-term relationship, and what can be transformative about it, is that I pretend every day that my boyfriend is the lie that I met when I first met him. And he does that same favor to me — he pretends that I’m that better person than I actually am. Even though he knows I’m not. Even though I know he’s not. And we then are obligated to live up to the lies we told each other about who we are — we are then forced to be better people than we actually are, because it’s expected of us by each other.

And you can, in a long-term relationship, really make your lie-self come true — if you’re smart, and you demand it of them, and you’re willing to give it to them… That’s the only way you become “the one” — it’s because somebody is willing to pretend you are. “The one” that they were waiting for, “the one” they wanted, their “one.” Because you’re not — nobody is. No two people are perfect for each other, ever, period — No two people are 100% sexually compatible, no two people are 100% emotionally compatible, no two people want the same things. And if you can’t reconcile yourself to that, you will have no relationships that last longer than two months.

And you know what? It’s not going to be their fault — it’s going to be your fault.

Source: The Price of Admission: Dan Savage on the Myth of “The One” and the Unsettling Secret of Lasting Love

Published on August 17, 2018 at 6:00 by

kottke.org

Kottke.org i have been following pretty much since it started in 1998. It picks fun, serious or remarkable video’s and articles from all around the internet. I love that it is still going.

Founded in 1998, kottke.org is one of the oldest blogs on the web. It’s written and produced by Jason Kottke and covers the essential people, inventions, performances, and ideas that increase the collective adjacent possible of humanity. Frequent topics of interest among the 26,000+ posts include art, technology, science, visual culture, design, music, cities, food, architecture, sports, endless nonsense, and carefully curated current events, all of it lightly contextualized. Basically, it’s the world’s complete knowledge, relentlessly filtered through my particular worldview, with all the advantages and disadvantages that entails.

Source: About kottke.org

Two clips posted today i enjoyed.

How would English sound if it were phonetically consistent?

Poker pros replay their most memorable hands

Published on August 16, 2018 at 6:00 by

Losing Earth

Stunning.

Losing Earth: The Decade We Almost Stopped Climate Change

That we came so close, as a civilization, to breaking our suicide pact with fossil fuels can be credited to the efforts of a handful of people, among them a hyperkinetic lobbyist and a guileless atmospheric physicist who, at great personal cost, tried to warn humanity of what was coming. They risked their careers in a painful, escalating campaign to solve the problem, first in scientific reports, later through conventional avenues of political persuasion and finally with a strategy of public shaming. Their efforts were shrewd, passionate, robust. And they failed. What follows is their story, and ours.

Everyone knew — and we all still know. We know that the transformations of our planet, which will come gradually and suddenly, will reconfigure the political world order. We know that if we don’t act to reduce emissions, we risk the collapse of civilization. We also know that, without a gargantuan intervention, whatever happens will be worse for our children, worse yet for their children and even worse still for their children’s children, whose lives, our actions have demonstrated, mean nothing to us.

Published on August 15, 2018 at 6:00 by