Author Archives for Ellen

Getting a bit less warm

Coconut oil standing in my room. Yesterday it was all clear and liquid, today i saw it solidifying very slowly. At the time of writing this it is still not done.

It is still nice weather. A bit of wind, sunshine, around 20ยชC. Lovely!

Published on August 25, 2020 at 6:00 by

A walk and the market and the garden

Friday evening i walked along the Maas with a friend. It was still warm, with a nice wind. We sat on a bench and drank the ginger lemonade. Not too fast! It was spicy. We talked. Walking back we saw the sun setting down quietly. Beautiful. We ended up in my place, where we sat on the balcony. He drank some green tea with jasmine, i drank a glass of white wine. I showed him the drawing i am still working on. Not finished by far.

Saturday morning i went to the farmer’s market. My usual trip for the past two years or so. A group of between five and ten people come around. We talk about all sorts of things. The smurfs was one topic this Saturday. Yay ๐Ÿ™‚

Once a month or every two weeks – not sure to be honest – there is music. This time it was gypsy music with a violin, accordion, bells around the ankle and tap dancing. Lovely.

Sunday afternoon i walked up to the garden. I had some empty pots i threw in the glass bucket. I forgot my kitchen stuff bucket. Grrrr! I need to go tomorrow and empty it. Stupid of me to forget.

I didn’t work in the garden. I made some coffee and read a bit more in my book. I did make some photos. The flowers are so lovely.

I do feel a bit unbalanced. My life right now is a bit much. Let’s hope for some change within the next few months. Finger crossed!

Published on August 24, 2020 at 6:00 by

Photos made in the garden

A bumblebee on a zinnia
Two bumblebees!
A butterfly on a zinnia
And it keeps on sitting
Beautiful flower
And another one ๐Ÿ™‚
Two cosmos flowers
The entrance to the garden. Needs a bit of tidying up!
A beautiful plant in Yuri's garden. He mentioned the poison ricine is made of this plant.
Published on August 20, 2020 at 6:00 by

Shampoo soap

This morning i had an appointment with the dental surgeon. I still have a small bump on my lip, from the fall in February this year. She checked it and said we could wait another three months and see how it develops. It doesn’t hurt, but i do feel it. So yes, pretty sure in three months time i will go back and have it sorted out.

After that i went to Spirit and treated myself to a cappuccino and a vanilla-raspberry pie. I read the paper. After that i went into the Gimsel next door. Beforehand i had thought about getting a shampoo bar. I had seen them at the Gimsel before. Since my old shampoo is nearly finished, it felt like the next step for me. No plastic bottles anymore.

The Werfzeep kruidenshampoo seems a good match. I just read on their website:

This gentle shampoo combines calendula, ginger, East Indian cherry, hops, mildly scented cedar, ylang ylang, palmarosa and ravensara and is particularly suitable for long hair.

Source: Herbal shampoo bar

Once i got home and unpacked the soap and smelled the deep herbal woodiness of the soap, i felt happy with my choice.

I knew i had to get another soap case. For transport, for safe keeping. I bought another soap case a couple of months ago for my body soap. This time i bought a tinplate soap case. It is large and the soap fits in it nicely.

I looked up the shampoo soap on the Werfzeep website. I came across this blog post for using apple cider vinegar as a conditioner (in Dutch only). I had read about this before, but i never really tried. The vinegar has a good pH for the skin on your head, it closes the hair scales and washes down remains of chalk, soap and other hair product residues. As i do have the apple cider vinegar right now, i will give it a go. I will start with the basic recipe, simply the vinegar with warm water to rinse through your hair after it is washed with the shampoo bar. I might mix it with some tea tree oil, which i also already have right now. I don’t have any complaints about my hair and hair skin – so not sure about using the tea tree.

I also found a blog post about using the shampoo bar (Dutch only). Either you rub the soap over wet hair, or you foam up the soap in your hands and use it over your hair.

In a couple of months i might let you know how this new hair washing method agrees with me.

Published on August 19, 2020 at 6:00 by

Growing up slowly

I didn’t realise i had already written a post about growing up.

I am still growing up. I do feel progress. I am getting a bit more control over myself. But i still make many mistakes, many ill judgements. Learning every single day. Thinking about the day. Figuring out what to do next. Make my excuses when i need to.

I have this temporary space. A bit of money and a place to live. I am already working on a new movie. It will be a month or two i think before it is finished.

Source: Growing up

It is now more than two years later. I still feel the same way. I hope i am right when i feel myself growing up. I still make many mistakes. I still feel many things that confuse me. Pull me in different directions. I still think thoughts about which i am not sure. I still do things to postpone doing something else, to lead my thoughts away from problems, to distract myself.

I am still quite inexperienced. Inexperienced with men most of all. I have protected myself, not consciously, but still.

I like to call myself bright, intelligent. But most often i am stupid, dumb, self involved, shortsighted, blind.

I can only accept this. Do my best and try to learn as much as possible. Really learn, in depth. Really look at myself. Really think about what i do, what i feel. Don’t run away in fantasies, all to easy to me.

The past months have been a learning experience. Better said, my entire life is a learning experience. Every single bit of it. Some days i do fine. Some days i do worse. Hopefully i do learn a little bit from everything.

The past months of not having a home anymore are a lesson to me. I do really value this. I do see how i am limiting my feeling of home to the one room i am renting. My place. My little home.

I am still not sure which way to go. I hope i will find something to move me soon. It might be my drawing. I hope it is. Not sure though. I hope i can find a first step to take with confidence. Preferably before my money runs out.


Published on August 18, 2020 at 6:00 by

A holiday

A harvest of big carrots
Two old appartment buildings being demolished
Another view of the same apartment buildings
A huge harvest! 19 kilos of courgettes, 20-25 kilo's of green beans!
Cosmos flowers
Zinnia flowers
Kale doing good
A beautiful sunflower
Melde, saltbush or orache in english in flower
Published on August 17, 2020 at 6:00 by


In my lunchbreak i walked up to the fish stand on the Bergweg and got me one herring. Yum. On my way over there i saw this family of Egyptian geese.
A red hollyhock on my way back
A big tree
Magenta flowers
The grote lisdodde, the bulrush
Looks like a Snowball Hydrangea - not sure about the name though
Published on July 23, 2020 at 6:00 by

Into town

After a lazy morning spending time reading and drinking coffee and ironing my linen dress i went into the city for some things i would like to get for me.

First i got my lunch at the market. Two herrings with a bit of onion, sliced in bite-size pieces. I sat besides the Markthal on the side of the grass field enjoying the herring while i was watching the children play in the climbing frames.Sad this field will go away soon. A big appartment building will rise on that spot.

I walked on to the Bijenkorf. I had done some research on what i would like to buy for myself from the brand The Ordinary. I took the regimen guide as a good place to start.

Example regimen for general signs of age:
Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5

Granactive Retinoid 2% or 5% in Squalane
100% Organic Cold-Pressed Rose Hip Seed Oil

I did buy the Buffet, the Hyaluronic Acid and the Rose Hip Seed Oil. The first two are new to me. I am curious to how they will work on my skin. My skin is normal/oily and sensitive. Luckily i don’t have the eczema anymore which was bothering me a year ago. I hope that will stay away.

I walked back and went to the Albert Heijn to get bacon for the dish i want to make for this week. A bit like coq au vin, but without the wine. I still have some sealed chestnuts and dried mushrooms i will use for it. I also bought some peas. Onions i still have. And of course some courgettes. We have so many from the garden. I will also use the rosemary and fennel seeds. Maybe some star anise, not sure about that.

It felt good walking through town, glancing at people and see what they are doing. For a short while anyway.


PS. I did buy some wine, a German dry Riesling. Half of it went into the coq au vin, the other half i drank while talking with my house boss sitting on the balcony. Nice!

Published on July 22, 2020 at 6:00 by