David Bellemere is the photographer of the images at the start of this post. These sort of images are all over Vogue, Marie Claire, Elle and many other magazines published all over the world.
The faces of all these gorgeous girls have the same expression in almost any photograph; their mouth slightly open, moist, looking into the camera, or not at all, staring into their own make believe world, a smile, or not, enjoying flowers, or a drink, or an ice cream. And of course their bodies. Their soft glowing beautiful bodies with the light gliding over it with their erect nipples and clean shaved pussy.
Their faces are waiting. Longing for a brief touch of contact. Sitting closed up in the paper.
They make you wish you are one of them. The glorious exquisite girls blemishfree, no bubble of fat around them. Immaculate make up. Their bodies twisted into a heartfelt cry for attention.
These photographs sell clothes. Clothes.
Eroticism (from the Greek ἔρως, eros—”desire”) is a quality that causes sexual feelings, as well as a philosophical contemplation concerning the aesthetics of sexual desire, sensuality and romantic love. That quality may be found in any form of artwork, including painting, sculpture, photography, drama, film, music or literature. It may also be found in advertising. The term may also refer to a state of sexual arousal or anticipation of such – an insistent sexual impulse, desire, or pattern of thoughts.
(Source: wikipedia entry for Eroticism
Stripping naked is the decisive action. Nakedness offers a contrast to selfpossession, to discontinuous existence, in other words. It is a state of communication revealing a quest for a possible continuance of being beyond the confines of the self. Bodies open out to a state of continuity through secret channels that give us a feeling of obscenity. Obscenity is our name for the uneasiness which upsets the physical state associated with self-possession, with the possession of a recognised and stable individuality. Through the activity of organs in a flow of coalescence and renewal, like the ebb and flow of waves surging into one another, the self is dispossessed, and so completely that most creatures in a state of nakedness, for nakedness is symbolic of this dispossession and heralds it, will hide; particularly if the erotic act follows, consummating it.
Stripping naked is seen in civilizations where the act has full significance if not as a simulacrum of the act of killing, at least as an equivalent shorn of gravity. In antiquity the destitution (or destruction) fundamental to eroticism was felt strongly and justified linking the act of love with sacrifice. When I come to religious eroticism which is concerned with the fusion of beings with a world beyond everyday reality I shall return to the significance of sacrifice. Here and now, however, I must emphasise that the female partner in eroticism was seen as the victim, the male as the sacrificer, both during the consummation losing themselves in the continuity established by the first destructive act.
If the union of two lovers comes about through love, it involves the idea of death, murder or suicide. This aura of death is what denotes passion… Through the beloved appears something I shall refer to in a moment in speaking of religious or sacred eroticism, to wit, full and limitless being unconfined within the trammels of separate personalities, continuity of being, glimpsed as a deliverance through the person of the beloved.
…Erotic activity, by dissolving the separate beings that participate in it, reveals their fundamental continuity, like the waves of a stormy sea. In sacrifice, the victim is divested not only of clothes but of life (or is destroyed in some way if it is an inanimate object). The victim dies and the spectators share in what his death reveals. This is what religious historians call the element of sacredness. This sacredness is the revelation of continuity through the death of a discontinuous being to those who watch it as a solemn rite. A violent death disrupts the creature’s discontinuity; what remains, what the tense onlookers experience in the succeeding silence, is the continuity of all existence with which the victim is now one. Only a spectacular killing, carried out as the solemn and collective nature of religion dictates, has the power to reveal what normally escapes notice…
“There is no better way to know death than to link it with some licentious image”
…I think I can make my ideas on continuity more readily felt, ideas not to be fully identified with the theologians’ concept of God, by reminding you of these lines by one of the most violent of poets, Rimbaud.
Elle est retrouvée.
C’est la mer allée
Avec le soliel.
[It is now refound!
It is the sea commingled
With the sun.] (from A Season in Hell)
Poetry leads to the same place as all forms of eroticism — to the blending and fusion of separate objects. It leads us to eternity, it leads us to death, and through death to continuity. Poetry is eternity; the sun matched with the sea.
1. A female is responsible for her desire, pleasure, eroticism, and orgasm. Developing a unique sexual voice is a woman’s challenge. It is not the man’s responsibility to “give her an orgasm”.
2. Together you develop an intimate, interactive couple sexual style which facilitates desire, pleasure, eroticism, orgasm, and satisfaction.
3. Receptivity and responsivity to pleasurable and erotic touch facilitates arousal and orgasm.
4. Arousal involves both subjective components (feeling sexy and turned-on) and objective components (vaginal lubrication and being physically receptive to intercourse).
5. “Foreplay”-where the man stimulates the woman to get her ready for intercourse-increases self-consciousness and performance anxiety. The experience of “pleasuring”- which emphasizes mutuality and sharing-facilitates desire and orgasm.
6. Pleasuring and eroticism often lead to intercourse, but intercourse is not the test of sexuality nor is intercourse necessary for a satisfying sexual experience. A key concept is to transition to intercourse at high levels of erotic flow.
7. You can develop your unique “sexual voice”-being aware of what facilitates and what subverts healthy sexuality. Take an active role in verbally and non-verbally making requests and guiding your partner.
8. The prescription for satisfying sexuality is intimacy, pleasuring, and eroticism. Traditionally, female sexual socialization has underplayed eroticism. Eroticism is integral to orgasm and satisfaction.
9. Be aware of your preferences-pleasure-recipient vs. mutual stimulation; focused vs. multiple stimulation; when and how to transition from sensual to erotic stimulation; emotional and physical conditions for a vital and satisfying couple sexuality.
10. You cannot say “yes” to healthy sexuality unless you have the right to say “no” to sex. You are free to initiate the transition from pleasuring to intercourse and to guide intromission.
11. Women who prefer multiple stimulation during pleasuring/eroticism usually prefer multiple stimulation during intercourse. You can utilize clitoral stimulation with his or your fingers, request breast or buttock stimulation, enjoy erotic fantasies, and/or switch intercourse positions.
12. Many women hope to use pro-sexual medications when they become available to enhance sexual desire and orgasm. Medication can be a valuable resource, but it is not a stand-alone “magic pill”. The pro-sex medication needs to be integrated into your couple sexual style of intimacy, pleasure, and eroticism.
13. Many women, especially after 40, use some form of additional lubrication (usually estrogen or water-based). This facilitates intercourse, but is not a substitute for subjective arousal.
14. Only 1 in 4 women experience the male pattern of one orgasm during intercourse without using additional stimulation. Female sexual response and orgasm is more flexible, variable, and individualistic than male sexual response. You may be non-orgasmic, singly orgasmic, or multi-orgasmic which might occur during pleasuring, intercourse, or afterplay, depending on your unique pattern and preferences. Female sexual response is more variable and flexible-different, not better or worse-than male sexual response.
15. Develop comfort with your desire, pleasure, eroticism, orgasm pattern. Sexuality is about experiencing and sharing pleasure, it is not a performance to have a “G” spot orgasm, multiple orgasms, a “vaginal” orgasm, extended orgasm, or whatever is the new performance fad.
16. Orgasm is a three to ten second experience. Orgasm is a natural result of subjective arousal, erotic flow, and giving yourself permission to enjoy the orgasmic experience.
17. The distinction between “clitoral” and “vaginal” orgasm is not scientifically valid. Whether orgasm occurs with manual, oral, rubbing, intercourse, self, or vibrator stimulation, the physiological response is very similar although the subjective experience of satisfaction varies depending on expectations and preferences.
18. It is unrealistic to expect orgasm during each sexual experience; you are not a sexual machine. Female sexuality is more variable and flexible than male sexuality. On average, women are orgasmic during 70 per cent of sexual encounters. Satisfaction involves orgasm, but is much more than orgasm.
19. Orgasm is integral to female sexuality. Desire and satisfaction are more important than orgasm. You are free to make requests of your partner (prolonged pleasuring, your pace of arousal, multiple stimulation, preferred erotic scenarios, vibrator stimulation, cunnilingus to orgasm, clitoral stimulation during intercourse) to enhance pleasure, eroticism, and orgasm.
20. Remember, sexuality is not about proving anything to yourself, your partner, or anyone else. Sexuality is about sharing desire, pleasure, eroticism, orgasm, and satisfaction.
Since April this year, 2016, i have been working in the Peace Garden. I got to know the people already working there, first and foremost Daniel and Rutger. But also many other people working there, other people making a film in Europe and Asia about urban agricultural projects. I try to wave as much as i can at people walking past and looking down on the garden. Sometimes there is room for a small chat. People stop and enter the garden and talk with us. I love it.
I have also made a couple of walks to other gardens.
A walk in Rotterdam: the Essenburgsingel
A walk in Rotterdam: from Marconiplein to Dijkzigt
A walk in Rotterdam: the Old North
A walk in Rotterdam: the Oude Noorden and Blijdorp
A walk in Rotterdam: Feijenoord
Making these walks was a good combination of walking, which i love, getting to know this town a bit better, in which i have lived for the past thirty years, and getting to know the gardens, especially the vegetable gardens and allotments. In some gardens i met some of the people working there. We had a casual talk usually, but it felt good. It was good.
I never lived in a house with a garden. Not when i lived with my parents, and not when i lived on my own. I didn’t miss it terribly much, no, but my experience has changed me. I see now what i have missed. The simple knowledge of gardening, maintaining the garden, the ground, the earth. Having a compost heap, eating what you are growing yourself; i love it. And now i do gain the knowledge i could have gotten so much earlier.
I started to think about education. Especially primary education. For me personally, i loved school. I loved learning, i loved mathematics, chemistry, physics. I loved to learn how to read, how to add and subtract numbers. I never had any difficulty with any of those subjects. The only difficulty i had was with languages, which to me were very illogical and mystifying subjects which i dropped as soon as possible. I did have swimming at school. I liked that too. And sports. Which i didn’t like. But never did i have any gardening lessons. No cooking lessons. Nothing so practical. One thought did pop up, schools should have a vegetable garden. Communal or single, doesn’t really matter. Kids should learn about plants growing, about the earth feeding the plants, about compost brewing into usable earth with enough nutrients for plants. The simple facts of everyday. Which of course today are not so simple anymore.
A few weeks ago i came across a post on facebook of all places about Henk Oosterling. He was one of the participants on the special evening for Sexposition, the exhibition Annemarie and me organized in 1992. Oosterling has started a project on a primary school, combining judo, philosophy, cooking lessons and gardening to be taught to children. This all is combined under the name Rotterdam Vakmanstad Skillcity. This project is trying to function in the world of rules and regulations of primary schools. Outside of this experiment i read about rules forbidding primary schools to hire cooks, only money is provided for educational staff. (Source: Rotterdam Vakmanstad als voorbeeldmachine). I don’t know the ins and outs of this project and i don’t know much about current primary education, but this does worry me.
I do find this project Rotterdam Vakmanstad/Skillcity very interesting. On the site there are many books, articles and videos linked.
A new book written by Oosterling is released recently: Waar geen wil is, is een weg (Where is no will, is a way).
Today, Wednesday 30 November 2016, there is a referendum in Rotterdam about the Woonvisie 2030. The main focus in that document is that Rotterdam wants more higher earning people living in the city. Therefore it is the wish of the current Rotterdam government to demolish or sell social houses. I do have to confess, this hardly registered with me. I got the envelop a few weeks ago. I put it on a shelf unopened and didn’t really think about it. I did come across a advisory check, the versbeton.nl Kieswijzer, through facebook and found out i was completely opposed to the document. I read an article about it Jaagt Rotterdam de armen weg? and i was even more in disagreement.
Last Saturday i was in the second hand bookstore the Slegte, i watched outside and read a sign high up. This is what it said.
Op 30 november 2016 mogen de inowners van Rotterdam stemmen over de Woonvisie 2030. De gemeente formuleert hierin ambities waar niemand tegen kan zijn, want wie wil er niet leven in een kwalitatieve en energiezuinige woning en in een stad waar iedereen zich thuis voelt?
On 30 November 2016 the inhabitants of Rotterdam may vote about the Housing Vision 2030. The municipal shapes ambitions where nobody can be against. Because who doesn’t want to live in a qualitatively and energy saving house and in a city where everybody feels at home?
Well, i was stunned into quietness for a moment when i read this. “Ambities waar niemand tegen kan zijn“, ambitions where nobody can be against. I don’t know who wrote this piece of self promotion, but to me it is completely wrong. This board is the entry board to twelve ideas and designs by architecture bureaus about Rotterdam. Some of these ideas i liked, others i didn’t. But to me the main issue was that introduction text and the assumption that anybody reading it would agree with it. And yes, i would love to live in a qualitatively high standing and energy saving house for sure. I would love to live in a city where everybody feels at home. But i wouldn’t want to live in a city where poor people are treated harshly, where people on a downturn are snubbed aside, where people who meet difficulty are not listened to and are treated like everything they come up against is their own fault.
Today, Tuesday 29 November, i was at the same place once again. I didn’t have my camera with me, so i decided to write this text in my notebook. I stood on the side, while people were walking by. I noticed two people standing still and reading the same message. I talked to them a bit. I told them how i disliked the message. I was happy they did agree with me.
So i will vote today. I will vote NO. There.
Over the weekend i did learn that today it would be a beautiful sunshiny day. So making a walk was the obvious thing for me to do. Even though it is really cold! I made a medium sized walk, lasting me around two hours. I went to the Park at the Euromast, walked past the river to the Veerhaven, crossed the Vasteland and walked over the Blaak back home.
I sat on a bench next to the water for a bit. Looking at the high buildings. Thinking about how steadfast they look. But also thinking about how quickly they could fall down. I listened to the leaves rolling over the ground, making little shuffling noises. Thinking about how random all these noises seemed, but they all are a part of the fabric of the world once they are made.
I made a few photos during the walk. Simply a couple of views my eye fell on. I hope you will like them.
An easy recipe today. Still, it took me years of getting to this point. I used to make chocolate milk with cocoa powder, sugar and a bit of water. Added the separately warmed milk and presto, chocolate milk. Nowadays i do make it different. Chocolate! At least 71% cocoa, could be more, but depends on what you want to pay for it. Full milk, one teaspoon of sugar. Warm the milk and sugar, add the chocolate and use a whisk to combine it all together. Chocolate milk. Yum!
With the chocolate milk i had some gevuld speculaas. The basic speculaas dough filled with almond spice. I bought mine at the supermarket. Love love love it! Yeah, i know, i should make this myself one day and share the recipe with you. I might. One day.
This morning i went to the Coffee Company on the Meent and bought myself a medium latte with an extra shot of espresso and a piece of cheesecake. The cake is divided up into twelve pieces. Twelve! I would have divided it into eight pieces. Man, these companies really want to make a lot of money. I did say something to the girl helping me, but of course she can’t do anything about it. She only works there.
I sat inside drinking my coffee, watching out onto the Meent. I started to read the paper, the NRC Next. I used to have a subscription to the NRC, but stopped a couple of years back. The primairy reason is the lack of money, but hmm, i’m not sure now. Reading this news, every single day, all these parts of the world stacked next to each other, all these headlines, all these articles. Not every day is the same, not all the news is equally important, but in the paper they all seem to glide into each other.
But, it is still my favourite newspaper in the Netherlands. So when i go out and treat myself to coffee, i do read it. Not every article, but still. Today, i made some photos of the paper. Yes!
This morning, on Monday 21 November, i woke up around eight. Not sure how i slept. I do wake up around three in the middle of the night usually. I was a bit tired today, so yes, i think last night i was lying awake for a couple of hours too. This morning i watched Safe House on Uitzending gemist (Missed Broadcast), the Dutch app for all recent television you might have missed. I liked it. Christopher Eccleston i remember from his one season of Doctor Who in 2005. I loved this season. I occasionally watch Doctor Who when it passes me by, but it is not a must see for me.
I did plan to take a shower today, but i decided against it. I stayed at home, in my home clothes. Did a bit of work. I thought last week i was done, but i had a phone call today about work. I still had to do a minor thing. Which of course didn’t turn out to be that minor. An old website, from 2007. Old version of jQuery. *sigh* Tomorrow morning i will simply add a newer version of jQuery and add a new pagination plugin. Done!
I was thinking about my real work. This website. There are a few posts i want to make. A clip of me singing. Most likely Let It Go. The first song i ever posted here. And i don’t wanna do the one shot clip anymore. Been there done that. I wanna make a more edited and composed clip.
I also want to write a few posts, about Eroticism. In my life, on the street, in ads. It’s basically all around us. And really, some things i can’t bear to watch anymore. Young people fucking around on television. Or old people. I can not stand it. Not anymore.
Life is wonderful. Another post i want to write. This one most likely the day before Christmas. And like last year, i will take a week off between Christmas and New Years.
And today, while i was watching tv, while i was dreaming away, i had these glimpses of myself, where i am now in my life. Standing perfectly still, on a thin wire, on one leg, my arms up in the air, very poised. That is how i feel within myself.
I still have one month to make all these posts, to make my walks, to work in the garden, to entertain you, to grip you in my world.
Earlier this evening i threw the I Ching.
The first sign, Keeping Quiet, feels very apt. Perfectly still.
The last sign, the final sign of my current transition, is a bit more hazardous: After Completion. I do feel i need to be very careful. Cautious, feeling my way through this path. The comparison with a fox crossing a frozen river or lake comes up. It only succeeds when the ice doesn’t break. Not even when the fox is close to the other end.
You may wonder why i throw the I Ching so much lately. There were many years in which i didn’t use the I Ching at all. But lately it does feel that the signs i get are of more value to me. Or i am in such a state of mind that what i read in this book finds an agreement within myself. It is also because i am lonely. Yes. Oops, a small tear appears in my eye. It is not that i am unhappy, it is not i feel very lonely all the time. I don’t. But yes, i do miss friends. Good friends.
I know i shouldn’t think about this for long. Because i also like being by myself, in my life, looking around at the world. So each time has its own shape, with or without friends. I’m still happy i have chosen the shape i’m in right now.
The image of this hexagram is the mountain, the youngest son of heaven and earth. The male principle is at the top because it strives upward by nature; the female principle is below, since the direction of its movement has come to its normal end.
In its application to man, the hexagram turns upon the problem of achieving a quiet heart. It is very difficult to bring quiet to the heart. While Buddhism strives for rest through an ebbing away of all movement in nirvana, the Book of Changes holds that rest is merely a state of polarity that always posits movement as its complement. Possibly the words of the text embody directions for the practice of yoga.
KEEPING STILL. Keeping his back still
So that he no longer feels his body.
He goes into his courtyard
And does not see his people.
True quiet means keeping still when the time has come to keep still, and going forward when the time has come to go forward. In this way rest and movement are in agreement with the demands of the time, and thus there is light in life.
The hexagram signifies the end and the beginning of all movement. The back is named because in the back are located all the nerve fibers that mediate movement. If the movement of these spinal nerves is brought to a standstill, the ego, with its restlessness, disappears as it were. When a man has thus become calm, he may turn to the outside world. He no longer sees in it the struggle and tumult of individual beings, and therefore he has that true peace of mind which is needed for understanding the great laws of the universe and for acting in harmony with them. Whoever acts from these deep levels makes no mistakes.
Mountains standing close together:
The image of KEEPING STILL.
Thus the superior man
Does not permit his thoughts
To go beyond his situation.
The heart thinks constantly. This cannot be changed, but the movements of the heart-that is, a man’s thoughts-should restrict themselves to the immediate situation. All thinking that goes beyond this only makes the heart sore.
Six at the beginning means:
Keeping his toes still.
Continued perseverance furthers.
Keeping the toes still means halting before one has even begun to move. The beginning is the time of few mistakes. At that time one is still in harmony with primal innocence. Not yet influenced by obscuring interests and desires, one sees things intuitively as they really are. A man who halts at the
beginning, so long as he has not yet abandoned the truth, finds the right way. But persisting firmness is needed to keep one from drifting irresolutely.
Six in the fifth place means:
Keeping his jaws still.
The words have order.
A man in a dangerous situation, especially when he is not adequate to it, is inclined to be very free with talk and presumptuous jokes. But injudicious speech easily leads to situations that subsequently give much cause for regret. However, if a man is reserved in speech, his words take ever more definite
form, and every occasion for regret vanishes.
Nine at the top means:
Noblehearted keeping still.
This marks the consummation of the effort to attain tranquillity. One is at rest, not merely in a small, circumscribed way in regard to matters of detail, but one has also a general resignation in regard to life as a whole, and this confers peace and good fortune in relation to every individual matter.
This hexagram is the evolution of T’ai PEACE (11). The transition from confusion to order is completed, and everything is in its proper place even in particulars. The strong lines are in the strong places, the weak lines in the weak places. This is a very favorable outlook, yet it gives reason for thought. For it is just when perfect equilibrium has been reached that any movement may cause order to revert to disorder. The one strong line that has moved to the top, thus effecting complete order in details, is followed by the other lines. Each moving according to its nature, and thus suddenly there arises again the hexagram P’i, STANDSTILL (12).
Hence the present hexagram indicates the conditions of a time of climax, which necessitate the utmost caution.
AFTER COMPLETION. Success in small matters.
At the beginning good fortune.
At the end disorder.
The transition from the old to the new time is already accomplished. In principle, everything stands systematized, and it is only in regard to details that success is still to be achieved. In respect to this, however, we must be careful to maintain the right attitude. Everything proceeds as if of its own accord, and this can all too easily tempt us to relax and let thing take their course without troubling over details. Such indifference is the root of all evil. Symptoms of decay are bound to be the result. Here we have the rule indicating the usual course of history. But this rule is not an inescapable law. He who understands it is in position to avoid its effects by dint of unremitting perseverance and caution.
Water over fire: the image of the condition
In AFTER COMPLETION.
Thus the superior man
Takes thought of misfortune
And arms himself against it in advance.
When water in a kettle hangs over fire, the two elements stand in relation and thus generate energy (cf. the production of steam). But the resulting tension demands caution. If the water boils over, the fire is extinguished an its energy is lost. If the heat is too great, the water evaporates into the air. These elements here brought in to relation and thus generating energy are by nature hostile to each other. Only the most extreme caution can prevent damage. In life too there are junctures when all forces are in balance and work in harmony, so that everything seems to be in the best of order. In such times only the sage recognizes the moments that bode danger and knows how to banish it by means of timely precautions.