Today i haven’t been outside. I watched a Beck episode on Netflix. I played Stardew Valley. I bought this game earlier this week. A basic farming RPG, where you can farm, forage, mine and fish. I play this game on my iPad, lying on my bed. Very enjoyable.
That is it for today. Nothing important going on. Simply move along.
Salute! Enjoy your weekend. 🙂
Published on April 3, 2020 at 6:00 by Ellen
Reading the article again i read Monday for the first time called Our political authority does not only govern over life, but also over death, i tried to remember my motivations to say no on the donor question asked in 1998. No, i don’t want to donate my organs to anyone once i am dead.
I remember thinking about it. I remember feeling that my body is my own. I wasn’t thinking about cannibalism, about necropolitics. I was basing my decision on a feeling. I didn’t want any medical professional to decide for me. I didn’t feel my body belonged to the medical profession to do with what it desired. It is irrefutable my own body. It is me.
So i said no. Not giving in to the dominating discussion with its focus on charity and giving other people another opportunity to live a full and fruitful life. No. I am my body. My mind and my body are intertwined. Inviolable. Sacrosanct.
This was based on a feeling i had. A feeling i listened to. A feeling i took seriously. Not out of a whim.
Today, with the new law approaching on 1 July 2020, i still feel the same. Even more so. I have read about the difficulty of determining brain death, i read about keeping a body semi alive to get the organs out. I’m not looking forward to my own death, and i don’t want to mess this up with surgery and decisions. I would like my death to be mourned, not celebrated because somebody else can live on.
I actually feel violated by the ad on Dutch television asking people, almost telling people to say yes to being a donor. In this i am happy i have my own mind making decisions for this.
Published on April 2, 2020 at 6:00 by Ellen
A walk along the Rotte. I made photos of the typical Dutch views i came across. The houses with the highway in the background, the windmill, the birds besides the highway, views on the Rotte with reet and grass and trees. And a clear blue sky with no airplanes at all!
Today on Twitter i came across an article called ‘Onze politieke macht regeert niet alleen over het leven, maar ook over de dood‘ published in Vrij Nederland 21 March 2020. I need to reread this article, as it touches on many different subjects within current and past politics and society. For now i will quote some parts which really impressed me. These quotes are in Dutch. Later on i will write more about this in Englsih.
In lijn met Da Vinci constateerde de Japanse socioloog T. Awaya: ‘Tegenwoordig bekijken we elkaars lichaam met een gulzige blik, als potentiële bron van losse onderdelen waarmee we ons leven kunnen verlengen.’ Hij gebruikt de term ‘sociaal kannibalisme’.
In Nederland weet bijna iedereen, nu de wetgever elke Nederlander tot potentiële donor heeft verklaard, dat burgerschap ook inhoudt dat het eigen, ademende en levende lichaam van staatswege precair is geworden, een zak van huid met daarin dobberende organen en weefsels: een toekomstig medisch hulpreservoir.
In 1998 i stated officially for the Dutch state i wasn’t prepared to donate any organs after i died. Something i still feel fits with my personal life view. Reading this article reinforces my opinion on this subject and gives me more tools to work with to talk about this with other people. Still in early stages though. More will follow!
Published on March 31, 2020 at 6:00 by Ellen
A walk i made last Friday through the centre of Rotterdam. A quiet city, for sure. I stayed clear of all people i came across, made many photographs. The best ones i show here. Many many closed shops or ones with different entrances. Two people at work in the garden, closed for the volunteers. Two doves unaware of everything that is going on in the human world. 🙂
Published on March 30, 2020 at 6:00 by Ellen
Categorised in: Rotterdam
This morning i got out of bed quite early. I ate my breakfast, oats and got ready to walk to the dentist. It was so quiet on the streets. The sun was shining. Some people were outside. I managed to stay clear of them. When i entered the dentist’s place i cleaned my hands with the hand sanitizer hanging at the entrance. I said my name to the receptionist behind the glass panel. I sat down and waited for around ten minutes.
I’m relieved to say that the whole dentist thing was not as bad as i anticipated. The anaesthetic was the most painful feeling. It did numb the whole lower right face. In two weeks time i have another appointment with the dentist dor a new bracelet, this time behind my teeth.
On the way back, my face still half numb, i went into the Gimsel. This time the entrance was one door to the right. Spirit, the vegetarian restaurant over there is closed. At the entrance there was hand sanitizer and paper towels. Inside the shop i waited when i wanted something where somebody else was looking for something.
Weird weird weird.
I’m not afraid. Not scared. But this does impress me.
Published on March 27, 2020 at 6:00 by Ellen
The gardening is stopping as of last Monday. I was really sad when i heard this. Today i have given myself a bit of time to adjust and think about how to fill my future days, for the next few weeks anyway.
I do understand this difficult decision. But i do feel sad. I will really miss being in the gardens and seeding and weeding and looking around and enjoying the birds and the sounds they make.
Luckily it is not a complete lock down yet. We are permitted to go outside when you are alone, so i will go out and make walks. Like i used to do the first two years of maintaining this website.
Tomorrow morning though i have an appointment with the dentist. Not something i look forward to. But it has to be done. An aftermath of the fall i had on 3 February. I don’t think i will do anything active after that, apart from some groceries i want to get.
Friday is gonna be a lovely warm and sunny day. A perfect walking day!
Published on March 26, 2020 at 6:00 by Ellen
Categorised in: Gardening
This afternoon i walked to the Vredestuin Noord garden. I worked a bit more on a new drawing. Still in development. After around forty five minutes i walked around a bit. At the back, against the wall of the old railway, there were a couple of straw heaps standing against it bathing in the sunshine. I sat up there, listening to the birds and the cars racing past behind the trees.
I’m thinking about the distance of a meter and a half the Dutch government is setting up as a rule. I understand this, of course. But at the same time i am thinking about our individualistic society. Everyone apart. Everyone not connected to anybody else. Everybody alone. Singled out. On itself.
I know, i know this is not a conspiracy post. I am not thinking that, not at all. But it is on my mind. Mulling it over. Trying to think it through.
It is strange, how this rule is making something so visible. And impossible to ignore. Outside the house. Inside the house. Very strange.
Published on March 24, 2020 at 6:00 by Ellen