No gardening for a while

The gardening is stopping as of last Monday. I was really sad when i heard this. Today i have given myself a bit of time to adjust and think about how to fill my future days, for the next few weeks anyway.

I do understand this difficult decision. But i do feel sad. I will really miss being in the gardens and seeding and weeding and looking around and enjoying the birds and the sounds they make.

Luckily it is not a complete lock down yet. We are permitted to go outside when you are alone, so i will go out and make walks. Like i used to do the first two years of maintaining this website.

Tomorrow morning though i have an appointment with the dentist. Not something i look forward to. But it has to be done. An aftermath of the fall i had on 3 February. I don’t think i will do anything active after that, apart from some groceries i want to get.

Friday is gonna be a lovely warm and sunny day. A perfect walking day!

Published on March 26, 2020 at 6:00 by


This afternoon i walked to the Vredestuin Noord garden. I worked a bit more on a new drawing. Still in development. After around forty five minutes i walked around a bit. At the back, against the wall of the old railway, there were a couple of straw heaps standing against it bathing in the sunshine. I sat up there, listening to the birds and the cars racing past behind the trees.

I’m thinking about the distance of a meter and a half the Dutch government is setting up as a rule. I understand this, of course. But at the same time i am thinking about our individualistic society. Everyone apart. Everyone not connected to anybody else. Everybody alone. Singled out. On itself.

I know, i know this is not a conspiracy post. I am not thinking that, not at all. But it is on my mind. Mulling it over. Trying to think it through.

It is strange, how this rule is making something so visible. And impossible to ignore. Outside the house. Inside the house. Very strange.

Published on March 24, 2020 at 6:00 by


These are strange times. As i said in an earlier post, if i get sick, if i die, so be it. I hope not, but it is not in my hands. My life continues. No work, no public transport, no kids. We are not required to stay in our house the whole day here in the Netherlands, so i make walks. The garden work continues, with smaller groups.

I’m steering my life. It is a bit like the end of Thelma & Louise, driving the car of the cliff into the depths of the afterlife. Still giving direction, just not sure where i’m headed for. Apart from love of course. But i don’t know if that is in the cards for me. I simply don’t know.

I do know i need to let go of some many things. So many feelings. So many desires. So many wants.

I try to live my life as good as i can. I try to make the best of it, my own way. I try to really think about things. I try not to accept what other people say too easily. I still feel happy with this.

I hope i get somewhere. I hope i get out of this nowhere land i’m in now.

Enjoy the weekend. Love 🙂

Published on March 20, 2020 at 6:00 by

Not sure what to say

Thinking. Working. Drinking coffee. Watching television. Drinking tea. Eating sauerkraut soup. A bit of pasta. Walking slowly. Watching at all the houses. Smiling at people passing by.

Still not sure what to say.


Published on March 18, 2020 at 6:00 by

Clearing up the cupboard

I have no before photo i’m sorry to say. Tomorrow i will go back and clear out the other cupboards. Will do some more cleaning as well. Good work to do. Lovely weather. 🙂

Published on March 17, 2020 at 6:00 by


A few weeks ago we made jokes about it. A friend was a bit careful and didn’t shake our hands, four or five weeks ago. We laughed. We didn’t take it seriously. It would pass over us. We didn’t think.

Earlier this week i had a talk with friends. Two of them worked/works in healthcare. We talked about the amount of deaths needed for people to start panicking. Ten thousand, one person said. That means two hundred and fifty thousand people affected by the corona virus. We are not there yet, but things move really fast. Exponentially.

In an old middle eastern story someone asked for a reward. One piece of rice on the first square on a chessboard. Two pieces on the second square. Four pieces on the third. Eight on the fourth. Sixteen on the fifth. Easy, the king thought. But on the twenty first square over a million grains were requested, a trillion on the 41st. For the final squares there wasn’t enough rice in the world.

I went out for lunch. I met Vincent along the way. We talked a bit about the threat. We bumped our elbows. After lunch i walked past the Pompenburg Park and said hi to the people working there. When i got home i walked into a live broadcast of the government announcing more rues and regulations.

  • events with over a hundred people are canceled
  • where ever possible people need to work from home
  • people with a fever and complains of aches in the lungs need to stay at home
  • schools stay open in the meantime

The Rotterdam Marathon on 5 April is canceled. Going through the liveblog on many sport events are postponed or canceled.

On Twitter Jason Van Schoor said the following things:

Please follow the link above to twitter to see the subsequent tweets.

A post on medium tells us the following:

The coronavirus is coming to you.
It’s coming at an exponential speed: gradually, and then suddenly.
It’s a matter of days. Maybe a week or two.
When it does, your healthcare system will be overwhelmed.
Your fellow citizens will be treated in the hallways.
Exhausted healthcare workers will break down. Some will die.
They will have to decide which patient gets the oxygen and which one dies.
The only way to prevent this is social distancing today. Not tomorrow. Today.
That means keeping as many people home as possible, starting now.

Right now i feel worried. I don’t worry that much about myself. If i get ill, there is still a chance it will be the mild version. If i die, i die. I think it will be a shame, as my life is still full of possibilities and options. But if it happens, there is nothing i can do about this.

We will get through this. For sure.

Published on March 13, 2020 at 6:00 by