Wooing

31. Hsien / Influence (Wooing)
above TUI THE JOYOUS, LAKE
below KêN KEEPING STILL, MOUNTAIN

The name of the hexagram means “universal,” “general,” and in a figurative sense “to influence,” “to stimulate.” The upper trigram is Tui, the Joyous; the lower is Kên, Keeping still. By its persistent, quiet influence, the lower, rigid trigram stimulates the upper, weak trigram, which responds to this stimulation cheerfully and joyously. Kên, the lower trigram, is the youngest son; the upper, Tui, is the youngest daughter. Thus the universal mutual attraction between the sexes is represented. In courtship, the masculine principle must seize the initiative and place itself below the feminine principle.
Just as the first part of book 1 begins with the hexagrams of heaven and earth, the foundations of all that exists, the second part begins with the hexagrams of courtship and marriage, the foundations of all social relationships.

THE JUDGMENT

Influence. Success.
Perseverance furthers.
To take a maiden to wife brings good fortune.

The weak element is above, the strong below; hence their powers attract each other, so that they unite. This brings about success, for all success depends on the effect of mutual attraction. By keeping still within while experiencing joy without, one can prevent the joy from going to excess and hold it within proper bounds. This is the meaning of the added admonition, “Perseverance furthers,” for it is perseverance that makes the difference between seduction and courtship; in the latter the strong man takes a position inferior to that of the weak girl and shows consideration for her. This attraction between affinities is a general law of nature. Heaven and earth attract each other and thus all creatures come into being. Through such attraction the sage influences men’s hearts, and thus the world attains peace. From the attractions they exert we can learn the nature of all beings in heaven and on earth.

THE IMAGE

A lake on the mountain:
The image of influence.
Thus the superior man encourages people to approach him
By his readiness to receive them.

A mountain with a lake on its summit is stimulated by the moisture from the lake. It has this advantage because its summit does not jut out as a peak but is sunken. The image counsels that the mind should be kept humble and free, so that it may remain receptive to good advice. People soon give up counseling a man who thinks that he knows everything better than anyone else.

THE LINES

Six at the beginning means:
The influence shows itself in the big toe.

A movement, before it is actually carried out, shows itself first in the toes. The idea of an influence is already present, but is not immediately apparent to others. As long as the intention has no visible effect, it is of no importance to the outside world and leads neither to good nor to evil.

° Nine in the fourth place means:
Perseverance brings good fortune.
Remorse disappears.
If a man is agitated in mind,
And his thoughts go hither and thither,
Only those friends
On whom he fixes his conscious thoughts
Will follow.

Here the place of the heart is reached. The impulse that springs from this source is the most important of all. It is of particular concern that this influence be constant and good; then, in spite of the danger arising from the great susceptibility of the human heart, there will be no cause for remorse. When the quiet power of a man’s own character is at work, the effects produced are right. All those who are receptive to the vibrations of such a spirit will then be influenced. Influence over others should not express itself as a conscious and willed effort to manipulate them. Through practicing such conscious incitement, one becomes wrought up and is exhausted by the eternal stress and strain. Moreover, the effects produced are then limited to those on whom one’s thoughts are consciously fixed.

Six at the top means:
The influence shows itself in the jaws, cheeks, and tongue.

The most superficial way of trying to influence others is through talk that has nothing real behind it. The influence produced by such mere tongue wagging must necessarily remain insignificant. Hence no indication is added regarding good or bad fortune.

37. Chia Jên / The Family [The Clan]

above SUN THE GENTLE, WIND
below LI THE CLINGING, FIRE

The hexagram represents the laws obtaining within the family. The strong line at the top represents the father, the lowest the son. The strong line in the fifth place represents the husband, the yielding second line the wife. On the other hand, the tow strong lines in the fifth and the third place represent two brothers, and the two weak lines correlated with them in the fourth and the second place stand for their respective wives. Thus all the connections and relationships within the family find their appropriate expression. Each individual line has the character according with its place. The fact that a strong line occupies the sixth place – where a weak line might be expected – indicates very clearly the strong leadership that must come from the head of the family. The line is to be considered here not in its quality as the sixth but in its quality as the top line. THE FAMILY shows the laws operative within the household that, transferred to outside life, keep the state and the world in order. The influence that goes out from within the family is represented by the symbol of the wind created by fire.

THE JUDGMENT

THE FAMILY. The perseverance of the woman furthers.

The foundation of the family is the relationship between husband and wife. The tie that hold the family together lies in the loyalty and perseverance of the wife. Her place is within (second line), while that of the husband is without (fifth line). It is in accord with the great laws of nature that husband and wife take their proper places. Within the family a strong authority is needed; this is represented by the parents. If the father is really a father and the son a son, if the elder brother fulfills his position, and the younger fulfills his, if the husband is really a husband and the wife a wife, then the family is in order. When the family is in order, all the social relationships of mankind will be in order.
Three of the five social relationships are to be found within the family-that between father and son, which is the relation of love, that between the husband and wife, which is the relation of chaste conduct, and that between elder and younger brother, which is the relation of correctness. The loving reverence of the son is then carried over to the prince in the form of faithfulness to duty; the affection and correctness of behavior existing between the two brothers are extended to a friend in the form of loyalty, and to a person of superior rank in the form of deference. The family is society in the embryo; it is the native soil on which performance of moral duty is made early through natural affection, so that within a small circle a basis of moral practice is created, and this is later widened to include human relationships in general.

THE IMAGE

Wind comes forth from fire:
The image of THE FAMILY.
Thus the superior man has substance in his words
And duration in his way of life.

Heat creates energy: this is signified by the wind stirred up by the fire and issuing forth form it. This represents influence working from within outward. The same thing is needed in the regulation of the family. Here too the influence on others must proceed form one’s own person. In order to be capable of producing such an influence, one’s words must have power, and this they can have only if they are based on something real, just as flame depends on its fuel Words have influence only when they are pertinent and clearly related to definite circumstances. General discourses and admonitions have no effect whatsoever. Furthermore, the words must be supported by one’s entire conduct, just as the wind is made effective by am impression on others that they can adapt and conform to it. If words and conduct are not in accord and consistent, they will have no effect.

Published on July 3, 2018 at 6:00 by

Start

My two weeks vacation is nearly finished. The first half was about cakes. And a wedding. That Saturday was a lovely day. Sunshine, not too warm. The cakes were great. A bit worn out by the sun. Some a bit dense. Especially the vegan ones. But still good. The weddings celebration was in a farm in a small town south of Rotterdam. Easy going. Great food. Ice cream. Music. Games.

I did went home late in the evening. My bed back home was calling to me.

The final week was warmer. I decided to stop working on Thursdays in Park Pompenburg. More time for me and what i am working on. The videos. I love working in the garden. I love most of the people. But my work, this website, is the most important thing in my life. The photos, the songs, the videos, the things i talk about here. All very important to me. Not all true, or impressive to others, sure. But for me, my life. Everything.

I write this post on Saturday evening. Tomorrow i will be working in the Vredestuin. And there is a potluck in the evening. I already made some pickled courgette. I will bake a courgette cake. And courgette salad. Guess what the main harvest in the garden is?

About Spring. I love it. But i can see why people overlook it. It is quiet, the filming is getting better. Gardeners World has better filming in it. But, I already have my next idea lined up. I will start filming shortly. Three months i expect. So no, i’m not giving up.

The photos in this post are made by Nitai. Thank you!

Published on July 2, 2018 at 6:00 by

Spring

I hope you will enjoy the video Spring. It was a pleasure working on it for the past months.

I will take a short vacation for the next two weeks. Baking cakes for a friend’s wedding. Enjoying my time off.

Salute!

Published on June 15, 2018 at 6:00 by

A few more days

Two weeks of vacation. Looking forward to that.

First i have got to finish the clip i’m working on for the past few months. I have wild dreams. Wild fantasies. Of course. About becoming famous. Sure.

I don’t know what i really want. But i do know this. I need to stay close to myself. Really close. Not fake anything. Make something i love. Something that touches me. Not think of the future. Not think of a way out. Stay here.

Only a few more days.

And then it is cake preparation time. Buying all the ingredients. This weekend i made strawberry jam. For a cake. For the wedding. Today i picked the first courgettes. Or zuchini’s for you US people. And then bake all the cakes. Brrrr. Getting nervous now, but i’ll be fine.

I don’t know what the future will bring. No idea. Yes, i have wishes, dreams, fantasies. Of course.

Of course.

Published on June 11, 2018 at 6:00 by