Categories for Books, films and TV


De maat van alle dingen
– zo die al bestaat –
is de juiste nabijheid,
inclusief de geboden afstand
van wat mét ons
en tégen ons is,
niet in enige afgebakende ruimte,
niet in een vermoede
of gevreesde confrontatie,
maar in het begrip
van de buigzame,

Albert Bontridder

Published on September 3, 2019 at 6:00 by

Pages from Intimacy

Feeling a bit better today. Still emotional, after last Sunday’s conversation. It is rare when friends are really honest with me. I am still thinking about it, i do take it seriously. But i can not rule myself out, i also need to take my own points of view into consideration.

So here are just a few things i am reading and watching, in Dutch i’m afraid. I hope you like it.

This is where i am in the book Intimiteit written by Paul Verheaghe. On youtube i watched several clips with lectures from Verhaeghe. One i link here (in Dutch):

And this song as a bonus, cuz i love it.

Published on August 14, 2019 at 6:00 by

Harry Potter

It was Christmas time in the year 2000. At that time i was living in London. I was all by myself in the shared apartment, the other people living there were back home to celebrate Christmas with their families.

I had just bought the first four books of the Harry Potter series. I remember lying on my bed reading these books, completely enchanted.

Over the next few years i bought the new books straightaway after they had come out. I loved diving into each new book and read the new story written with such fun and dedication. I remember buying the latest book for my niece. She loved the books as well.

I have been re-reading the books over the years. The last time i read the books was earlier this year.

I love the films as well. The last two weeks i have been watching all the films once again. Each time i see them, i can see them more clearly with more attention for all the details. The final movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 i watched yesterday morning.

Until now each time i watched the movies, something new strikes me. It is like the story takes me away with it so i don’t notice all the little details of it. Yesterday i noticed the stone of resurrection very particularly, just before Harry met Voldemort in the forest and was killed. I did notice it before, of course, but i never really thought about it. I love to be swept away by the story. To my own detriment.

I do realize there are many criticisms to these books. Today i read the wikipedia page for Harry Potter, and yes, quite a few people have expressed dislike for certain aspects of the stories. A.S Byatt says: “secondary secondary world, made up of intelligently patchworked derivative motifs from all sorts of children’s literature … written for people whose imaginative lives are confined to TV cartoons, and the exaggerated (more exciting, not threatening) mirror-worlds of soaps, reality TV and celebrity gossip.” I understand this. But this is also exactly why i like the books. They are so close to our own world. There is of course no magic in our world, but on the other hand, there are still many wondrous landscapes and mountains and forests and buildings and animals and people in our world. And i know i could never have written stories like the Harry Potter stories. And they do get their inspiration from all over the place, yes, but it is still a wonderfully thought out travel through the teenager years.

So yes, i love the Harry Potter books and movies.

Published on August 9, 2019 at 6:00 by

Today’s music

Until You Come Back to Me (That’s What I’m Gonna Do)
Aretha Franklin

Bad Sneakers
Steely Dan

Three Girl Rhumba

Greatest Love of All
Whitney Houston

It’s Going To Take Some Time

I Would Stay

Yesterday Once More

I Don’t Know How To Love Him
Yvonne Elliman

Being Boring
Pet Shop Boys

Long Distance Love
Little Feat

We’ve Only Just Begun


Etron Fou Leloublan

Dreams – Colors Mix

Le Freak

Pretty in Pink
The Psychedelic Furs

MALAMENTE – Cap.1: Augurio

Ready or Not

Theme from S-Express

Django Jane
Janelle Monáe

thank u, next
Ariana Grande

Showroom Dummies
Atom TM

Outdoor Miner

Published on July 17, 2019 at 6:00 by

Books to read

In the past three weeks i have been watching quite a few youtube videos and read some books. I discovered new writers to discover: Ad Verbrugge, a Dutch philosopher and Paul Verhaeghe, a Belgian psychologist. Both have written books about the current times, love and loneliness and sexuality. I am still reading these books. All these books are written in Dutch.

From Verhaeghe i have the following books from the library:

Identiteit (Identity)
Autoriteit (Authority)
Intimiteit (Intimity)
Liefde in tijden van eenzaamheid (Love in times of loneliness)
Het einde van de psychotherapie (The end of psychotherapy)

Van Ad Verbrugge i have the following two books:

Tijd van onbehagen (Time of discomfort – which i got after the death of my stepfather two years ago)
Staat van verwarring – Het offer van liefde (State of confusion – The sacrifice of love)

I will write more about these books and what they made loose in myself over the coming weeks.

Published on July 16, 2019 at 6:00 by


Reading a Dutch book about modern philosophers. It was actually on my stack of books to give away, but i took it out, curious about it. I think i got this book from my stepfather, after he died. Sofar i enjoy reading it.

This bit in the text about Hans-George Gadamer about dialogues i really like.

To make this clear Gadamer points to the model of the dialogue. A dialogue is distinguished by a difference in perspective between the participants. There is distance, because one has a different perspective on the case than the other. This difference is fruitful; it continually forces the participants to closer clarification. This process of clarification can only work if one is actually interested in the viewpoint of the other. Commitment is as fundamental as distance. When distance is missing nothing needs to be explained; when commitment is missing, nothing can be explained. There is the entire difference between an unproductive fight and a productive difference of opinion. In a dialogue the perspectives are not identical, but they stand open for each other, exactly on the points where they differ. When the dialogue succeeds, the perspectives fold into each other, and a collective perspective originates. Gadamer speaks here of a melting of horizons. Then both original perspectives are removed, as two metals (tin and copper) change into a new metal, the amalgam bronze.

Translation mine

Published on May 30, 2019 at 6:00 by

Giving away books

Yesterday i was suddenly gripped by a going through my bookcases and clearing out all the books i haven’t read, half read, was given as a present and never read and books i simply do not like anymore. Half my eating table is full of them. I will go through them; some i will put in the giving away cases out on the street, some i will bring to the Slegter, the second-hand bookshop, some i will take to the garden to see if anyone else wants them. I still need to go through some shelves, the ones where there are two rows of books behind each other. And i still have some books in the attic.

I found some scifi books i simply do not like. Some philosophy books, some children’s book i have never read myself, some poetry books, some art books, architecture books. Some books i hoped i would read them someday. I have decided that day will not come. Some dvd’s, a sunglasses someone else left in the train. And there is more to come! Yeah!

Published on May 16, 2019 at 6:00 by

No force

I’m still thinking. I have grown more quiet here, on I try to live my life as good as possible. Be open towards the people i meet. Friendly. It is hard. I still find myself talking too much. Not listening enough.

Still thinking. This morning the thought came up. I’m still using too much force. I’m still trying to break through. I’m still trying. I still need to loose myself, relax. Look outside and see what is there. Look inside and see what is in there. Ease up.

I still trust myself. Really. It is hard. I do worry sometimes. Practical things. Where i live. Money. Sure. But yes, i still trust myself.

Thank you for your patience.


I am reading a collection of essays written by the Dutch writer Connie Palmen (Dutch Wikipedia article) called Het Drama van de Afhankelijkheid. I haven’t read any previous books from her. I enjoy these essays. I might read more books from her.

I am noticing a different form of reading. Slower. Reading the text out loud in my head. Reading paragraphs multiple times.

This is different from my escapist form of reading. In this form i read a story, in which i loose myself.

It is a lot more strenuous to read in this non-escapist way. I catch myself trying to loose myself every sentence. I have to keep myself on track. Read slow and carefully. Do not enjoy yourself. Think!

Published on April 18, 2019 at 6:00 by