At times it is difficult for me to stay on course. To keep the feeling of where i am headed to, what i want to say. At the right time. What i want to say clearly, with a focused mind. Because i believe it, i trust in it.
I can feel the turmoil within myself.
I have talked about so many things on this website: the world, gardening, movies, music, reading, science. It feels to me i try to gather everything in my head and spit it out in a clear and decisive way. Impossible of course. I feel so stupid.
I need to find a good place to start. Something clear, to me anyway. Get my mind in order!
I made a walk today for about an hour. I wasn’t feeling too well, but once outside, i felt fine. I made a round walk, past the market at the end of the Grote Visserijstraat, past the Dakpark, through the old streets in Delfshaven, the Hooidrift, the Matthenesserlaan and than back home. It was quite warm when walking in the sunshine.
I am working on a drawing. Last Friday i got the idea for it. Last Tuesday i started with it. It will take a few weeks before it is done. The first idea will find a way into the drawing, but i do need to think about other things going on inside the world. It is still in the early stage.
I also made an appointment for a corona vaccination. Sometime in June. Happy with that.
Walking home through the Essenburg Park after emptying the compost bin in the Spoortuin. Lovely flowers
Almost all the dandelions are in seed
Nettles
Sitting on the benh around the tree. Across from me a family was sitting on a tiny island in the middle of the pond. We did wave to each other after a short time. 🙂
Yesterday’s and today’s full moon in April 2021, at a distance closest to the earth, hence the name Supermoon. More events are on this list the Astronomy Calendar of 2021.
A quiet day today. I did walk to the Spoortuin with my compost bucket to empty it in their heap. Walking back through the Essenburg park, sitting on the bench around the tree for a short while. Lovely weather. Sunshine, not too cold, not too hot either. Before i went out i danced for fifteen minutes or so. Makes me so happy!
Tomorrow i will be going to my mother. It’s been more than a year since i last saw her. We do speak regularly over the phone. We will eat white asparagus with eggs and ham. Yummy 🙂
Today i emptied the compost bin in the Train Track Garden, the Spoortuin. I walked back home, through the Essenburg Park. It was quite warm. Near the end i pulled out my coat. I went past my house and set the bin and my coat on the stairs. Then i went to the Albert Heijn. I got veggies and tuna for Salad Nicoise. Well, my kind of.
Walking back home i thought that i could make a new movie. About the Harvest Market, the Oogst Markt i visit each Saturday. But i also thought about how rich this website is, with the drawings, the photos, the walks, the movies, the stories, the songs. Sometimes i think about easing back on the content, updating it only once a week. But no. Not the right time. Not now. And really, i’m not sure i will make a new movie. I am not sure of so many things.
Being sure of things might seem important. Sometimes i would like to feel sure of certain things. My life, myself, the decisions i have made over the past years. But i am not. When i lie awake deep in the night, i put my hand on the wall behind me and watch my hand. I watch the lights of the cars passing by moving over the ceiling. I move from one side to the other. Sometimes i think of somebody touching me.
I leave you with my favourite movie i made and published on 30 December 2018, Human.
I did make a short walk today, went into the supermarket. My mind still filled with the post i wrote yesterday. Still wondering. That is about it. Moving on!
