Categories for Internet

Before the flood

This morning i watched the documentary Before the Flood with main advocate and traveler Leonardo DiCaprio. Some bits i knew of, some bits i didn’t. I got angry by the burning down of rain forests in Indonesia to make palm oil plantations. And i got angry with most other subjects talked about in this movie.

The bit about the Koch Brothers stayed with me. Not an unknown name, not at all. I will read more about them.

I do not think though this movie will make a massive change in the people’s attitude towards the state of our planet. Life simply goes on, you work, you have vacations, you have sex, you laugh with your children, with your friends, with your family. Life doesn’t seem to change that much.

But of course it does. Each and every day it changes a bit, until you wake up and you suddenly live in a different world. And it is too late to do anything about it. It seems.

If you wish, you can watch this movie here, one and a half hour long.

Published on November 3, 2016 at 6:00 by

The Nerdwriter

Watching youtube videos is what i do mostly before i try to get some sleep at night. I am subscribed to a few users. This list is in a constant flux. I do have a weak spot for Dutch beauty (b)(v)loggers. It is getting a bit less these past months, but i still have quite a few beauty girls in my subscription list.

Just yet, when checking out The Nerdwriter and his subsciptions i added a couple more channels to my subscribed list: The School of Life, Vox and Anna Akana. I already watched many of the School of Life’s videos, i do go to the Vox website once a week or so. Ana Akana is a new one. I watched one video, liked it and subscribed. Lets see how that will work out.

The Nerdwriter is someone whose videos i do admire. Art, music, movies are among the most prolific themes. The Nerdwriter is Evan Puschak. After a period of working he started for himself, now living mostly of Patreon pledges.

I haven’t seen all his videos. I went through his entire list this evening, marking the ones i am interested in. Which is most. Makes me feel humble, looking at his work, comparing it to my own. I do know my field of expertise is on a different area, but still. It is good to see someone working hard, thinking and talking about the things of life which are of interest to him (or her).

So, salute to the Nerdwriter. May you keep on working for a very long time!

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How Stories Control Our Economic Reality

How Steely Dan Composes A Song

Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban: Why It’s The Best

Watch many more videos >

Published on August 12, 2016 at 6:00 by

Etsy

The fifteen things on the list Items I Love from my Etsy account. Most of them are sold. I have never bought anything from Etsy. I do still look though. Browse around. I like handmade jewellery, homemade clothes. I still have in my mind i should make my own clothes someday. Just very simple clothes, maybe with a simple pattern. Or take some lessons. But that is not for now. Later!

Felt is something i like as well. I know i can look up how to make it. But i am still trying to get my plants to grow from seeds, and do this website, and work occasionally. So that is enough for me. Etsy is more a place to scan for things i enjoy.

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Cute as a Button - Black, Red and Grey Earrings
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Published on July 8, 2016 at 6:00 by

Patreon

Last week i made a Patreon page for myself. It does remind me of this kickstarter page i made on lfs.nl a year and a half ago. I got one dollar there. So i don’t have any high expectations. But still, this could be a nice way to add some monthly income. My fonds are a bit low at the moment.

I will add some information on this website about this page. And yes, i will need to make a Paypal account for myself.

I do need to think about where i will add the information about this Patreon page. It could be in the footer. Or on the about page. It’ll work itself out i’m sure.

Glad i got this done.

Published on July 6, 2016 at 6:00 by

Pinterest

I have some minor boards on Pinterest. The past months i added a board about jewelry and about the Dutch royal family. Both were for posts. The most expensive jewelry in the world. Staatsieportretten.

I started out with a Do it yourself-board, a Rotterdam-board and a Cooking-board. All three are still quite bare. Minimal fashion has some more, 29 pins. And the jewelry and Royal Family boards have loads more. Most i actually got from Pinterest itself.

I just made a new board about Raf Simons. I love his work. In yesterday’s post, The most beautiful dresses of all time, i showed three of his dresses. He does give an extraordinarily extravagant minimalistic feel to his clothes.

I do follow a few people. Jeffrey Zeldman. David Lebovitz. Heidi Swanson. Joline Jolink. Angelique van Velzen-Smeenk. L P. lotte v. Carlos Restrepo. Gretha Agate.

Jeffrey Zeldman is a webdesigner whose books i learned from so much, whose blog i read irregularly. Lebovitz and Swanson are cooking bloggers. Joline Jolink is a fashion designer whose clothes i love. The other people i’m not sure about. I must have come across their boards and simply enjoyed them.

Aah, L P has many gardening, permaculture and food boards. Carlos Restrepo has boards with artists and photographers. Gretha Agate has some royalty boards and royalty dresses.

Of these nine people i follow, Jeffrey Zeldman has the most pins: 68.900. Music, directors, cinema, design, places, photographers, artists, fonts, illustration, cats, writers, albums from hell. Too much to get all in once.

As a closing remark to this post, i never really got into Pinterest. I probably never will, but it is a good way to get stuff from the internet together and go through it once in a while. Just as a reminder.

Published on July 5, 2016 at 6:00 by

Brainpickings

On my computer i have most of the time three open applications: Mail, Spotify and Firefox. In Firefox i usually have two main windows open.

The left

  • ellenpronk.com
  • wordpress backend of ellenpronk.com
  • google analytics of ellenpronk.com
  • soundcloud stats
  • youtube stats
  • tumblr dashboard
  • songs, an unlinked page on lfs.nl with lyrics of the songs i sing

The right

These windows say so many things about my daily occupations. About this website, about its statistics, about the songs i sing, about the social networks i follow, about a blog i really like, about my relaxation, the games i play.

I have written about Brainpickings before. I don’t read every post, no. But once or twice a week i go through the first page to see if there are any new posts. Usually Sunday and Wednesday.

Brain Pickings — which remains ad-free and supported by readers — is a cross-disciplinary LEGO treasure chest, full of pieces spanning art, science, psychology, design, philosophy, history, politics, anthropology, and more; pieces that enrich our mental pool of resources and empower combinatorial ideas that are stronger, smarter, richer, deeper and more impactful. Above all, it’s about how these different disciplines illuminate one another to glean some insight, directly or indirectly, into that grand question of how to live, and how to live well.

A post from 2013 writes about the start, unbeknownst of it future growth and expansion in Happy Birthday, Brain Pickings: 7 Things I Learned in 7 Years of Reading, Writing, and Living.

Please read the article. For the very hasty among you the following list:

  1. Allow yourself the uncomfortable luxury of changing your mind.
  2. Do nothing for prestige or status or money or approval alone.
  3. Be generous.
  4. Build pockets of stillness into your life.
  5. When people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them.
  6. Presence is far more intricate and rewarding an art than productivity.
  7. “Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.”

This weeks post is a gem. The Psychology of Time and the Paradox of How Impulsivity and Self-Control Mediate Our Capacity for Presence. I am thinking about myself and the changes in my thoughts, well, for my whole life basically. But things are developing with sound speed, these past 18 months. Before that i felt my life was getting to a slowdown, i felt depressed. Not severely, more like a bucket was over my head. I still remember thinking then, those 18 months ago, that finally the wind started to blow quietly with me, not against me. This does change my perception of the time around me. Sometimes i escape out of time, when i play a game, watch some television, read a book. And sometimes i’m inside time, like this afternoon, listening to all the sounds from the street, the cars, the birds, the neighbors, people walking by. I don’t think you should be in that experience the whole time. Earlier this evening, while watching Masterchef, i was thinking about tomorrow, what i will be doing then. In the morning i’ll be going to the Peace Garden. I’ll take my vegetables cuttings and other stuff for the compost heap with me. And a thermos with hot water, and coffee and sugar and cream. And tomorrow i will be doing my VAT for the first three months of this year.

Reading this article made me think of my own learning to wait, to postpone getting a reward. My own self-restraint. It makes me think about losing my virginity when i was 28 years old. It is not that i didn’t try before. It just didn’t work out. I felt i should have been able to go for it much younger, but it just never felt right.

I did use to drink a lot more when i was younger. But for a few years i’ve been diagnosed with diabetes 2. Since then i did loose around 7 kilos. I should loose more, i know. But i do drink a lot less alcohol. One, sometimes two bottles of wine a week. It takes me two, mostly three days to finish a bottle. Ten years ago i drank one bottle a day. Sometimes even two bottles in one evening. I am very happy that i managed to minimize to my current amount.

Time that is felt and lived, that is, a life rich in positive experiences, is made up of moments of fulfillment, often in the company of good friends or a beloved partner. Therefore, whether one lives out the moment or pursues gain over the long term is a matter of emotionally intelligent conduct and weighing decisions. Someone who is free and full of life does not always choose to delay gratification; rather, she or he is smart about when to seek enjoyment and when to wait.

There is also a collection of favorite reads.

On Being
Maria Popova — Cartographer of Meaning in a Digital World

Reading this content can be hard. I admit, i don’t always have the patience for it. My life at this moment is still a life of growth. The past year and a half i felt a difference almost every day. And yet sometimes when i read back an old post, of let’s say a year ago, it feels like i am the same person with the same questions, the same wants and the same needs. Even a post from nineteen years ago still feels like being from me. But yes, i do feel i am changing. Blossoming might be the right word.

Published on April 29, 2016 at 6:00 by

A new selfie

Today i colored my hair. I had decided to go a bit lighter. I used a dark blonde or light brown color over the past years. This summer i used a medium golden blonde. One of the reasons is that i am turning grey. At the roots it was a lot lighter, a mix between grey and dark blonde. The lighter shade blended quite well. So last Friday i decided to even go a shade lighter. I chose Light Natural Blonde, 9N from John Frieda.

After my hair dried mostly, i blow-dried it. I used a style rod to straighten my bangs. My bangs always curl up. I had cut them a tiny bit after i had coloured my hair.

Over the past weeks i was thinking about the portrait i use for social media. I do like the picture, but it is five years old. Time for a change.

I started to make myself up, nothing too much.

  • a tinted moisturizer Extra Light Tint from Bobbi Brown
  • my Mac eye shadows, Nylon on the inner eyelid, Wedge in the crease, Handwritten and Typographic on the outer side to lift up my eyes a bit
  • Chanel Inimitable Waterproof mascara
  • Mac eye brown pencil Lingering
  • Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream Berry Sheer Tint

And then, just before the sunset, the sun shone in my room.

I took several photos of myself, around twenty. I opened them all in Photoshop and closed the ones i didn’t like. I will try out four on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and whatever more sites i got an account on.

I did use a small color correction on all the pictures. The ones in the straight sunshine were a bit too yellow, i pulled the blue-yellow curve so that my face would be a bit more pink. I finally picked four photos i can choose between.

I admit, i am a bit vain. Even though i’m 51, i do like to look my best. These photos are the best i’ve taken in a few years. And i love the blond hair!

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My favourite. I like the look on my face, slightly taken from above. Yes, i can have a double chin! There is quite a lot of shadow. But it is the slight smile which works for me.
ellenpronk-2016-square
I do like this picture a lot. The shadow, the expression. But in the end, i do think it is too dark. Social media portraits are used tiny. This portrait has too many details to work good small.
ellenpronk-3square-2016
I like this one. Too bad the chin is chopped of, but it could be used.
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A good one, sure. Just imported this one on twitter. My favourite had too dark a shadow. Let's see how this one works out.
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My old social media selfportrait, made in 2010
Published on January 14, 2016 at 6:00 by

Tumblr

Over the past months i was thinking on how to make a bit more publicity for ellenpronk.com. It is harder now than it was fifteen years ago. There are many more people online yes, but they are also more set in their ways, not venturing out as much as they used to.

I had made an account at tumblr. When i check the activity page, it seems i made it this year, 29 January. I do remember looking around, while i was working on the design of ellenpronk.com. I was thinking then of maybe starting a blog there. But it just seemed to me too limited. So i went ahead and started this blog on ellenpronk.com. A domain i had for several years already.

But, yesterday, i searched around a bit. I didn’t like the bloglovin’ community. The way you had to register there just seemed to me too much hassle. I also wasn’t sure it would be the right community for my website. Then i did some searches for tumblr in combination with wordpress. The thought came up after i saw Rookie had a tumblr place, in which they simply posted a shorter version of their original post with a link.

So yesterday i started out. I already had made a blog in January, my first post went up yesterday. I’m not going to be using any plugin for it, i will pick from ellenpronk.com and lfs.nl quotes, photo’s, video’s and audio and post these to tumblr. In these two days i did make 6 posts. That will slow down of course over the next few days. So far, i’m enjoying myself. I do have so many items to choose from, it feels like i’m in a candy store and can pick anything without any charge.

If you are reading this, you are already on the place i want you to be. But still, do check it out if you please, you can see it at ellenpronk.tumblr.com. Enjoy!

Published on August 20, 2015 at 6:00 by

Female orgasm – a start

This week i came across an article This just in: There’s no “mystery” about the female orgasm written by Trisha Borowicz. Last night i found myself thinking about this article while i was trying to get some sleep. I turned on the lights and read it again.

I remember reading articles on this G-spot in the 80s. I remember various articles in which it was said women can have multiple orgasms. I remember reading there are many different ways for a woman to get an orgasm.

Reading this article on Salon did make me angry yes. It went against all the muffled information which got to me over the past 35 years. No G-spot orgasms, no vaginal orgasms. They are simply fringe information people like to talk about. The science is that only one type of orgasm which has been proven, has been studied, has been shown to exist. A clitoral glans orgasm.

Orgasm is the rhythmic release of the pelvic muscle tension created during arousal, and it is caused by sufficient stimulation of the penis or the clitoral glans/vulva area. It’s the same for all sexes, all genders, trans people, gay people, straight people, intersex people, you name it, if they got something that is like a penis or a clitoral glans, it can be stimulated to orgasm. Males generally trigger ejaculation at orgasm, but orgasms and ejaculation are two different things and can be experienced separately.

This idea that this G-spot is very important, a vaginal orgasm is the ultimate orgasm for women. That idea was inside of me. Not clearly defined, not like i talk about it or anything, but yes, it was. And now i read this article in which it is very clearly stated that that is no proof, no scientific proof for a vaginal orgasm.

Of course this doesn’t mean there are many different sorts of sensations. A kiss on the mouth, on the neck, on the earlobe, on a nipple, a touch on the belly, on the thigh, on your hands, on your face, on your vulva. The whole body is a sensitive area which, with the right person, can give huge amounts of pleasure.

When i masturbate i have different intensities of orgasms. Sometimes i’m simply more into it than other times. I’ve had years of not being very interested in masturbation at all. The times that i am into it it is fantastic.

I will be doing more reading about these issues. I’ll get back to it once i know more.

More info

Published on August 13, 2015 at 6:00 by

More about sex

Reading about love and sex is something i do enjoy doing. I don’t search for it, but i got a few places i like to go to and read.

I don’t watch porn. I have seen some porn movies, most when i was organizing Sexposition in 1992, a exhibit about sex and art i organized together with a friend. I know i can be turned on by porn, but there is something about most porn movies i do not really enjoy.

In my post about my personal sex life i did say i was more aroused the last 6 months or so. That is still true. I even find that i am aroused by women. Especially large women, with large soft boobies and a large belly and voluptuousness all around. It’s not that i act out these feelings, i’m not sure if doing something with it will be as arousing as fantasizing about it. But i’ve witnessed myself staring at the television when there was an attractive big woman on it, with fantasies running through my mind.

And yesterday, when i saw a ad in my inbox with a girl on it who seemed so skinny. It was horrible – honestly i was repulsed. Which does remind me of my own post yesterday, where i spoke about my own weight. Of course the dancing clip wasn’t me at my best. Not at all! I know i can look better. I know i do weigh a bit too much, but over the past year i have lost about 10 kilos, and they didn’t come back! So i should be really happy with that.

So you might think i’m lesbian. I do find women attractive, but i have only fallen in love with men. So i think not. It’s just my thoughts and fantasies are running around with me over the past months. Women, men, orgies, people watching me. The past eight nine years i wasn’t into sex at all. It simply didn’t exist in my life. Sometimes i did try to masturbate, but it wasn’t that much fun. So this change is a bit perplexing. I’m not sure where these fantasies come from. But i do think fantasies is exactly what they are. In the end, i’m still extremely romantic. Terribly! Desperately!

I do hope i can handle that feeling a bit more. I know now i couldn’t when i was younger. It was probably one of the main reasons boys said no to me.

I’m careful. I’m not after sex alone. I still would like to fall in love. One day.

So, in the meantime, i do read more about love and sex. The Salon love and sex stories i check out once a week or so. I don’t read every story, but this past week my eye did fall on the Reddit post “Vaginas are more like pennies”: Virgins have questions about sex, Reddit has answers. This post lists some of the questions with some of the answers. It’s also quite positive about the thread and the earnestness with which people try to answer the questions.

“how do you kiss properly / not suck at kissing?”

“you don’t have to stick your tongue in your partner’s mouth immediately. Basically, start with just lips, then move to gently licking their lips. If your partner is still receptive, then continue to full tongue. Once tongues are in full play, remember the point it not to lick the other person’s tonsils. … On the technical side, remember to breath through your nose. It’s oddly easy to forget to breath during a good kiss.”

So i went to the Reddit page [Serious] Virgins of Reddit, what questions do you have about sex that you’ve always wanted to ask but were too embarrassed to?.

Oops, i got sidetracked by this post on female masturbation.

Anyway, back to the Reddit page. Reading through it:

Honesty I’m just curious what a woman’s breasts/etc are actually like…
Warm, soft, squishier than a stress ball but kind of also like a bag of jelly or water. The nipple is what really separates the breasts. Some are like pencil erasers, some don’t really stick out until they get aroused. Boobs are fun.

What does a women “taste like”.
Wet salty penny

Not a virgin, just not that experienced. As a woman, I never know what do with girl-on-top. Do I just move up and down? How do I position my legs? How do I move my hips?
You can do all sorts of fun stuff when you’re on top. You can lean forward and move in a manner that rubs your clit on his pubic mound area, you can sit straight up and go up and down, lean back, go slow, go fast, there are tons of ways to do it. Just play around and have fun, you’ll get the hang of it. Good luck: )

I’ve seen a lot of back/forward up/down comments, but personally I like mixing both. Make clear circles. Up and forward, down and back, like the drive shaft on a steam engine. Do it slow and sensual and it’ll melt him. Just make sure you don’t pull too far up/forward because if his penis slips out you’ve lost the rhythm.
I also find the circular motion more comfortable and easier to maintain for longer.
I think that in general, whichever one of you is in charge of movement, you should try and give it that extra dimension. Not just in/out, up/down. Move more and you’ll feel so much more.

Lights on or off
Yes! both! neither! Personally, I like seeing what I’m doing most of the time. Off is nice sometimes too.
TL;DR: Whatever makes you comfortable.

How the hell does it even happen? Do you both just decide to do it, or is at one thing leads to another thing?
Hormones. Hormones happen.

Am I supposed to say thank you after?? Like when you’re done is it just like “Thanks, have a breath mint”, or do you have to cuddle for a while? Are there unspoken rules?
My boyfriend and I high-five afterwards.

Does it actually feel physically good for the guy or is it all in the mind?
This is kind of a false premise. A lot of the sensation is from stuff your brain releases while you’re going at it, so the good feeling is coming from your brain. But yes, there is physical sensation, and it’s pretty much the best.
That said, a lot of the quality of sex is determined by how in sync (and enthusiastic) with your partner you are, and what you’re thinking about while you’re going at it. If you’re 100% focused on pleasing her and having yourself pleased, then it’s amazing, the greatest feeling there is. If you’re distracted, or not particularly attracted to her that day, or whatever, then the quality of your sex will suffer. So a lot of the quality of sex is “all in the mind,” in that sense.

Today was a busy day in my head. Right now i feel tired. It’s almost seven o’clock. I think i’m gonna sit on my couch, watch some tv until another Harry Potter movie starts tonight. Tonight it’s Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Bye bye lovelies! Have a good weekend!

Published on May 8, 2015 at 6:00 by