Gardening and talking and hard work!

This morning i woke up around eight. I did go to the toilet, but got back into bed for a while. I continued watching some Jordan Peterson’s video’s on youtube. Youtube has so many of them. I’m not sure what i think of Jordan Peterson. I haven’t read any of his books. I do think some of the things he is saying makes sense. I’m not a all out feminist myself. Not the way i used to be. But i need to read more from him, about him and watch more videos. And maybe read his book.

I did fall asleep for a short bit after i finished watching this video. I got out of bed around half past nine. Made breakfast, the almond flour and one egg and a spoon of young white cottage cheese. With bacon.

A quarter to eleven i walked to the garden. Lovely weather. Sunshine, not too cold. At the garden the three of us worked on the broad beans, we watered the plants in the greenhouse who were dry, we watered the beets, we harvested some veggies, like rocket, chervil, chard and kale. We talked about corona. We talked about how we enjoyed the quietness in the cities. The clear blue skies. We talked about the birds. The blackbird, male and female looking for something to eat. The great tit whistling on the pole of the entrance.

I made some pictures of the flowers in the garden. The cherry trees all white against the blue sky and the old Shell building.
The hawthorn flowers in the hedge.

I got a call, just towards the end of the working moment. Brian is on his way and he wants compost. Brian gives us his horse manure, so of course he gets it. Still quite a job getting it all out of the compost, in the wheelbarrows and to his trailer. Bit too much i confess. We sort of half managed it.

Slowly i walked back home. I bought a Turkish pizza and ate it back home on the terrace, around half past three. Then i went upstairs and lied down on my bed and watched some youtube videos. I did put my laundry in the washing machine. For dinner i made a salad. I picked some fries from Ted and Assie. Yum!

And now i sit behind my computer writing this post. I will watch Tussen kunst en kitsch, after that i will brush my teeth and go to bed. I’m tired. Tomorrow a new day!

Published on April 16, 2020 at 6:00 by
Categorised in:
Leave your thoughts

Gardening again

This morning i got out of bed around nine. Got out of bed, took in my medication for my diabetes, got dressed and went downstairs and made my breakfast. An oatmeal porridge, with butter and coconut blossom sugar. Lovely.

I went through my usual sources: my rss list reader, facebook, youtube, flipboard. A bit of Stardew. Around half past eleven i went to the supermarket and got a few things: chicken, oatmeal, cream, chocolate, tomato soup.

Back home i went upstairs for bit and played more Stardew. Around one i got down again and made me some lunch: two thin crackers with a spicy chicken curry and minced meat. And a cup of tomato soup. I went upstairs again and wrote the e-mail i got from Hilde in a booklet to bring with me to the garden. I am coronadinator, i need to take care of the people and the tasks. I dressed for the garden and went out, around a quarter to two. I talked with Hilde over the phone while i walked to the bara place on the Zwartjanstraat where i ordered a small bara with chicken curry.

When i got to the garden i made some photos of the blossoming tulips standing close. I opened the kitchen and when i looked outside i saw Lenka and someone else coming down with some buckets filled with plants: the strawberries and eternal leeks we will be planting in the garden. It was good to see them. I talked a bit with Jules – not his real name, but i keep forgetting his name and started to call him Jules, a name he seems to like :). We talked about the current situation, the corona thing whooshing around. Sometimes being ok, sometimes scared, he said.

I don’t feel scared myself. My life has changed so much, i don’t work anymore, i’m still looking for what i want to do, ideas form slowly in my mind. Being scared is not part of my life anymore.

Vlada came, she is the one person working in the garden together with me. So happy we both were to be in the garden once again. Such a lovely feeling. So quiet in the city. We talked about that. The clearer air, hardly any traffic, trains, trams, busses. It feels wonderful. Like a dream.

I had watered the plants in the greenhouse. We started to clear the bed for the broad beans of weeds. We planted out the seedlings in a single row in the middle. The plants are huge! Twenty thirty centimeters! We finished one bed, leaving another one for tomorrow. Tomorrow i will be working in the garden again.

I took a photo of the plants we removed from the bed. Pretty sure it is a weed, but i am curious. I just posted a question on facebook. Maybe someone will recognize the plant.

A small second job is planting out the strawberries in the other part of the garden. We didn’t do all of them, we stopped working at five. We had already closed the greenhouse, we put back all the tools in the work shed. I said goodbye, see you next week!

Walking back home i bought a vegetarian chicken burger an McDonalds. One time this year!

Back home i ate tow more thin crackers with minced meat and mustard. I watched the news and the show after that called M for a bit.

I pulled a tarot card for the day. Temperance. I like this one.

On the Temperance card, there is an angel with wings, whose gender is not immediately obvious, which suggests that there is a balance between the sexes. One foot of the angel is in water, to represent the subconscious, while the other foot is on dry land, a representation of the material world. On her robe, there is a square, which has a triangle inscribed inside, another echo of the tangible earth in union with the holy trinity. She holds two cups in a manner where she can mix the waters, which represent the super and subconscious minds. The water flows between them, suggesting union and infinity.

Everything about this card represents balance, the perfect harmony that comes from the union of dualities. Her advice is to test any new waters, before jumping into the deep end.

Source

Tomorrow at eleven i will be working at the garden again. Happy!

Published on April 15, 2020 at 6:00 by
Categorised in:
Leave your thoughts

Forget me not

Around nine i got out of bed. I took my medicine, put on some stay-at-home clothes, went downstairs and started to make breakfast. Pancakes with almond flour, one egg and some cream. Bacon sizzling in the pan, the thick batter on top of it and a slow cook for around five to seven minutes. I let out Robin. The moment i came down he looked at me from the bed he was lying on and walked quickly to the door of the terrace. Out! Out!

I ate my breakfast watching stuff on my iPad. Some links, some youtube clips, some facebook. A bit of Stardew Valley. I felt a bit lazy.

Assie and Ted appeared. I made some tea and drank it with a bit of pure chocolate. It was a bit chillier than yesterday.

For lunch i made a salad with spinach, some cherry tomatoes, half a bell pepper and a boiled egg. Yum. I went out for a short walk. An hour or so. I had my coat and a scarf on. In the sunshine i opened my coat, but in the shade and the wind i closed it all again. Chill.

Home again. I went upstairs. More Stardew. More youtube.

And my mind is running. I’m kissing someone, in my mind. Holding hands with someone. Smiling. I can not let it go. I talk to people, in my mind.

It is so close. So near. I don’t know what to do – or rather – i am afraid. Afraid to fail. Which is nonsense of course. I just have to be myself. Just have to be relaxed. Just have to pay attention to everything outside. No worry about me. I’m fine. I’m good. Outside is the place i need to worry about.

I was just lying on my bed, playing a bit. The thought of what wrote was on my mind. No, this is not what i want to say. This is not what i really really want. Of course i wish for love and friendship. Of course. And friendships i do have. Maybe not the best and most special kind, but still. I know many people who are kind and loving and do their best to live the best life they can. Am i doing that? Can i honestly say that?

That tarot card i picked yesterday, the heart with the three swords going through it, it shows unhappiness. Last Saturday i had a talk with Ted about my present situation. The pain i felt. The sadness of loosing my house. I felt tears in my eyes. I still remember the rooms, the kitchen, the bathroom, my sleeping room, my working place. I felt the joy of staying there, so close to the center. I felt the joy of living so close to the water. The quietness of the street. The view on the park on the other side of the water.

I don’t know what lies in future for me. I can only do my best. I can only try and pick the best road to travel. Do what feels right to me. Not be impatient. Especially not that.

I have to let it all go. Keep the memories. But live on, and try to make the best of it. As i know i can.

Published on April 14, 2020 at 6:00 by
Categorised in:
Leave your thoughts

Eastern

Today's walk. The same road there and back. At the Eekhoorn i bought an icecream 🙂
This afternoon just for my walk i shuffled the tarot cards and picked one for today. A heart, pierced with three swords.

The kievitsbloem, the fritillary
The kievitsbloem, the fritillary

Fluffy 🙂

Published on April 13, 2020 at 6:00 by
Categorised in:
Leave your thoughts

Some youtube videos

I usually go to bed early. I do read facebook, posts, twitter, youtube. I like this. Here are some clips i came across the past few days, for your enjoyment.

I love watching Gardeners’s World. Here are this years first couple of episodes:

Published on April 10, 2020 at 6:00 by
Categorised in:
Leave your thoughts

My sleep

I don’t sleep very well. I know, i should not watch movies and television series on my iPad while i lie in bed. It is better to read. But it is hard to resist.

When i turn out the light, i usually switch to my right side. Then i turn around to my left side. Then i turn to lying on my back.

I think about sex. About love. About loving sex. Sometimes i masturbate, but usually not.

Sometimes i turn on the lights again. Play a bit of Stardew Valley, my favourite game of the last two weeks. Then i turn down the lights again, once more. Tossing and turning.

This is difficult. Last night it felt i fell asleep only half past five. I am not sure of this, it could be i was asleep earlier. I simply don’t know.

And all i think about is love. Someone to love. Someone to love me, to enjoy life with. To live life as open as possible. Garden, sing, dance, cook, talk and smile and laugh with.

Not so easy.

My card of today. A torrent of emotions has separated me from home. The past days i have thought about all my things, my furniture, my books, my records, my cd’s, my cooking stuff stacked in the storage facility. Feeling sad when i think abut this. Feeling like i have already lost this. Which i haven’t. But still.

It is difficult to find a good way to move forward in. Right now.

Five of Cups Description
Arcan: Low arcane
Element: Water, female, passive energy – emotions

There are sure Tarot playing cards whose imagery without delay conjure up negative feelings, and the Five of Cups consists of such weight. This is a card which indicates loss as well as the painful demanding situations which stem from that unique loss.

The card depicts a figure that is wearing a black cloak. The man or woman hides his face in what seems to be despair. There are 5 cups at the ground, 3 of that have fallen whilst the opposite two remain status. The individual, however, appears to observe that there are two status cups as is simply too busy mourning over those which can be fallen. There is a effective river which flows between him and a house or a castle in the distance, indicating that a torrent of emotions have separated him from home.

Five of Cups meaning
The Five of Cups symbolizes disappointment, and the feelings that come when things go otherwise as you expected. You are feeling sad that a sure situation hasn’t clearly became out the manner you have was hoping it would. Instead of transferring in the direction of a more superb perspective, this card seems to mention which you are dwelling within the beyond, inducing emotions of self-pity and regret. The water which is simply spilled from the cups shows which you would possibly have overlooked an opportunity. It also shows that the trouble is often emotional and now not material or financial.

Instead of transferring toward a more fine perspective, this card seems to say which you are dwelling inside the past, inducing emotions of self-pity and regret.

The which means of the Five of Cups suggests that you can have certain issues letting go of things that are within the past. What is more, it also suggests that you are unwilling to analyze from mistakes which you have already committed. The card is regularly going to reflect a person who is so stuck up in his beyond that he is truly incapable of moving on. This way that he has a high danger of lacking out on what new joys that the future can bring.

Published on April 8, 2020 at 6:00 by
Categorised in:
1 Comment

It is well to remain below

62. Hsiao Kuo / Preponderance of the Small

above CHêN THE AROUSING, THUNDER
below KêN KEEPING STILL, MOUNTAIN

While in the hexagram Ta Kuo, PREPONDERANCE OF THE GREAT (28), the strong lines preponderate and are within, inclosed between weak lines at the top and bottom, the present hexagram has weak lines preponderating, though here again they are on the outside, the strong lines being within. This indeed is the basis of the exceptional situation indicated by the hexagram. When strong lines are outside, we have the hexagram I, PROVIDING NOURISHMENT (27), or Chung Fu, INNER TRUTH, (61); neither represents and exceptional state. When strong elements within preponderate, they necessarily enforce their will. This creates struggle and exceptional conditions in general. But in the present hexagram it is the weak element that perforce must mediate with the outside world. If a man occupies a position of authority for which he is by nature really inadequate, extraordinary prudence is necessary.

THE JUDGMENT

PREPONDERANCE OF THE SMALL. Success.
Perseverance furthers.
Small things may be done; great things should not be done.
The flying bird brings the message:
It is not well to strive upward,
It is well to remain below.
Great good fortune.

Exceptional modesty and conscientiousness are sure to be rewarded with success; however, if a man is not to throw himself away, it is important that they should not become empty form and subservience but be combined always with a correct dignity in personal behavior. We must understand the demands of the time in order to find the necessary offset for its deficiencies and damages. In any event we must not count on great success, since the requisite strength is lacking. In this lies the importance of the message that one should not strive after lofty things but hold to lowly things.
The structure of the hexagram gives rise to the idea that this message is brought by a bird. In Ta Kuo, PREPONDERANCE OF THE GREAT (28), the four strong, heavy lines within, supported only by two weak lines without, give the image of a sagging ridgepole. Here the supporting weak lines are both outside and preponderant; this gives the image of a soaring bird. But a bird should not try to surpass itself and fly into the sun; it should descend to the earth, where its nest is. In this way it gives the message conveyed by the hexagram.

THE IMAGE

Thunder on the mountain:
The image of PREPONDERANCE OF THE SMALL.
Thus in his conduct the superior man gives preponderance to reverence.
In bereavement he gives preponderance to grief.
In his expenditures he gives preponderance to thrift.

Thunder on the mountain is different from thunder on the plain. In the mountains, thunder seems much nearer; outside the mountains, it is less audible than the thunder of an ordinary storm. Thus the superior man derives an imperative from this image: he must always fix his eyes more closely and more directly on duty than does the ordinary man, even though this might make his behavior seem petty to the outside world. He is exceptionally conscientious in his actions. In bereavement emotion means more to him than ceremoniousness. In all his personal expenditures he is extremely simple and unpretentious. In comparison with the man of the masses, all this makes him stand out as exceptional. But the essential significance of his attitude lies in the fact that in external matters he is on the side of the lowly.

Published on April 7, 2020 at 6:00 by
Categorised in:
Leave your thoughts

Two walks

This Saturday and Sunday i made long walks. Saturday one with 10.039 steps, Sunday one with 14.670 steps. Both times i went to the north part of Rotterdam, Hillegersberg and Schiebroek. I just checked to see if my plugin to draw my walks is still working, but it didn’t. And really, i’m too tired to invest a lot of time into trying out new plugins for this.

So i will leave it with one of the three photos i made in both walks.

The weather was lovely, one of the first real spring days here in the Netherlands.

Added these images on monday. This morning i thought, why so difficult? I can simply draw the walks i made. No fancy plugins needed at all!

My walk on Saturday 4 April
My walk on Sunday 5 April
Published on April 6, 2020 at 6:00 by
Categorised in:
Leave your thoughts

A lazy day

Today i haven’t been outside. I watched a Beck episode on Netflix. I played Stardew Valley. I bought this game earlier this week. A basic farming RPG, where you can farm, forage, mine and fish. I play this game on my iPad, lying on my bed. Very enjoyable.

That is it for today. Nothing important going on. Simply move along.

Salute! Enjoy your weekend. 🙂

Published on April 3, 2020 at 6:00 by
Categorised in:
Leave your thoughts