Profile picture 2020
Planting
A border of plants in Park Pompenburg
With a view on the city
Broad beans in flower
Lovely flower, no idea of the name
Green cherries
Wild garlic and nettle
The Echinacea planted out. Seeded in October last year, it needs a cold period
Planted out in three different spots, two in the flower border
... and one close to the almond trees
A dandelion seed head
A pink rose with a lovely smell 🙂
So many voices
I am able to listen to many different voices saying all kinds of different things. I listen to the press conferences of the Dutch government. I listen to the Dutch news on television. I listen to the news programs, some talk shows. I listen to some youtube channels. Jordan Peterson has my ear, Rebel Wisdom, gardeners, scientists, make up ladies, MadSeasonShow, Russel Brand i’m getting into. This is just a fraction of what sparks my interest.
I also speak to people around me. This afternoon i had a serious conversation with a fellow gardener about friendship. A good talk.
One thing i said in that talk is sticking with me. I talked about the time i wasn’t seeing any friends, around eight years. I said i had learned many things in that time. Things about myself. I said i got out stronger.
I also said i was much happier now than before that lonely time.
I am really happy with that. I still feel that inside of me. Happiness.
Today was a good day! Salute!
Death
Today i was thinking about what i wrote last Thursday for my post on Friday.
Right now i’m in an in between place. Not yet leaving behind my past, not yet looking to the future. This pain i feel is something i need to deal with. I need to give it a place to rest. I know i can. I know. But it is hard, difficult, painful.
Today i came across several articles and posts and videos which were directing me in the same direction:
- Liminality
- Rite of passage. A rite of passage is a ceremony or ritual of the passage which occurs when an individual leaves one group to enter another. It involves a significant change of status in society.
- This came up while i was watching a youtube video: Myth, Wisdom & Pandemic, Stephen Jenkinson, Zak Stein & Charlotte Du Cann
I haven’t finished this video, but i will continue once i have written this post. The word liminal did come up in it quite early on in the video. Curious about the rest of it. - Then the thought came up to pull a day card for me. I pulled Death. Pulling the Death card is like, are you ready to move onto the next level?
. In anthropology, liminality (from the Latin word lÄ«men, meaning “a threshold”) is the quality of ambiguity or disorientation that occurs in the middle stage of a rite of passage, when participants no longer hold their pre-ritual status but have not yet begun the transition to the status they will hold when the rite is complete. During a rite’s liminal stage, participants “stand at the threshold” between their previous way of structuring their identity, time, or community, and a new way, which completing the rite establishes.
I have been thinking about these aspects and things in myself for many many years. Maybe even the biggest part of my life. I hope i can find the courage within myself to continue with this. To take on my life and my work with seriousness. To not let go. To hold on. Fiercely.
On a bike around the Reeuwijkse Plassen
Plan A
Three months ago i moved my stuff out of my house. I stayed in there for another short week, clearing up all the things i didn’t want to save. Magazines, a couch, an old fridge. Out of my house.
Because it still felt like my house. And really, right now, it still feels like that. I still feel the pain of leaving that nice little place at the waterside close to the center. I still have the key of the downstairs front door, so i can get my post. Because i’m still officially living there. Sometimes at night i still see the sleeping room, the bathroom, the backroom, the front room and the kitchen in my mind. I still feel what it was like to live there. Safe. Alone.
This hurts. A lot.
This evening i talked with Ted about this feeling. I felt the tears coming to my eyes. I said i have only one plan. Plan A. This website. This place which i have made my own. This place which i love. This place here where i feel at home. This place i can not leave behind.
Right now i’m in an in between place. Not yet leaving behind my past, not yet looking to the future. This pain i feel is something i need to deal with. I need to give it a place to rest. I know i can. I know. But it is hard, difficult, painful.
So right now, i am looking back, living the memories.
I hope you are well. Enjoy the weekend. Stand up straight! Salute!
A hard day’s work
Today i spend the afternoon working in the Vredestuin Noord. It is a lovely day, the sun is shining. Together with Hilde i spend the afternoon working hard.
We did the following:
- we seeded three full trays of courgette/zuchini and three full trays of pumpkins
- we watered all the seedlings and the plants in the greenhouse
- we watered all the new planted grapes at the pergola, five liters for each grape
- we watered the calendula, the kohlrabi, the chamomile, the beetroot, the parsnips and other root plants seeded in the bed
- we talked about Friday, when i will be working at the Vredestuin Noord, we will seed chard and flowers, the cosmos and the zinnia!
Just after five i was simply too tired to harvest anything. I walked back home slowly. I made a salad, with spinach and half a avocado and tomato and pepper and soft goat cheese. Yum! After that i got a cup of coffee. Thanks for that!
And now i’m too tired to do anything else. Bye bye! Enjoy the photos i made!
Stay safe
Blauwe regen - Blue rain
A green wall
Chives in flower
Raspberries
Sweet peas planted out against some branches binded together - and a blackbird.
A strawberry in flower
In a general context, the Ace of Wands represents good news and new beginnings. It signifies taking action, physically starting something, new initiative and finding new passion, enthusiasm or spark. It is a Minor Arcana card of accepting a challenge, getting fired up and getting in the game. It can also represent discovering your potential or talent and brings a sense of urgency and a new lease of life when it appears in your Tarot spread. This is a card indicates that you have creative spark and are feeling bold and daring. It also signifies spontaneity and excitement so expect fun times when it appears in your Tarot reading. This card can also represent fertility, conception and birth. Source
Many questions
This afternoon i went out to get some groceries. I needed salt, which i got from the Gimsel. I also bought there peanut soup for a lost day, a seitan sandwich and a raisin small bread. I met someone i knew there. We had a short talk. I walked on to Harolds, the shop for painting and drawing and all that stuff, close to art school. It was open, but you could only pay with your debit card. Which i had forgotten. So further on to the HEMA.
I wanted to buy some new pens. Just before i walked out i had found out a close friend has become a father over the weekend. I felt so happy with that news! So i checked the toys in the HEMA and finally decided on a small thing to give him one day. Elin is the name of our new world citizen. Lovely!
Going on. I saw the news on the big board at the Beursgebouw, Stay healthy, stay safe! At that moment i felt i was in some kind of dystopian movie. Next two keepers of the peace walked by. Another sign.
It felt so strange. The silent city all around me. Hardly any people on the streets. Everything so bright and sunny. But empty.
And i know, i understand. I do! I get this disease. I get it it is very contagious. But so far – as of today, Monday 20 April, in the Netherlands, the official death number today is 3.751. Two years ago in 2017/2018 there was a surplus of 9.400 influenza deaths in the Netherlands. That is a risk we are used to. That is a risk we take in life. We take it we can die when we step down a stairs, when we drive a car, when we enter a train, when we drink alcohol. Whatever! We know this and we accept this. An accident sits in a small corner. We accept this. We know our environment is not that healthy for us, but we take it.
But this, this corona, this COVID-19, this is too much. It endangers our most vulnerable people. The old, the sick. It is dangerous. We need to close everything down. We need to stay away from each other. The one and a half meter society is upon us. We are scared. Scared to death!
I’m not saying that we should accept this risk as it is. I’m still half convinced that we are doing the right thing. But i do realize there is a limit to this. There is an end date. Definitely.
I have read the post written by Karel Beckman called Nu stoppen met de lockdown – anders raken we onze vrijheid voorgoed kwijt (Stop with the lockdown – else we will loose our freedom indefinitely). It states clearly that a society without risk is a totalitarian society. Risk is a part of our free society. This is a statement i wholeheartedly agree with.
I follow the current situation with utmost interest. And a healthy dose of distrust. And many many questions.
A spring walk in the Kralingse Bos
16.276 steps
A long walk today, all around the Kralingse Plas. I enjoyed the singing of the birds, the wind through the young leaves. The bluebells in some parts of the forest. Glorious. I hope someday i know more names of plants. Today i learned the name of the bluebells, boshyacinten in Dutch. It is their time right now. Blossoming in the shady parts of the forest.
Bluebells - boshyacinten
And more bluebells 🙂
One of the few places the wild garlic is growing in the forest
