I Would Stay

I Would Stay, a song from the Dutch band Krezip. They played this song on their Pinkpop gig, where it was extremely well received. The video clip was compiled of footage of this Pinkpop show. I remember talking with a friend about the band, about this song. One of the best Dutch singers, he called Jacqueline Govaert. A very young band at the time, with this killer hit. They have split up. I still enjoy this song.

I Would Stay – Krezip
If this is true, I thought then, what will I think
Will I stay but rather I would get away
I’m scared that I won’t find a thing
And afraid that I’ll turn out to be alone, but I

I have to learn, have to try, have to trust I have to cry
Have to see, have to know that I can be myself, yeah

And if I could I would stay
And if they’re not, not in my way
I’ll stare here in the distance
But I’ll grow up to be just like you, yeah
I’ll grow up to be just like you, yeah

I see it all I’m sure but
Do I know what’s right
I thought I knew but it turns out the other way
I am scared that I won’t find a thing
And afraid that I’ll turn out to be alone, but I

I have to learn, have to try, have to trust I have to cry
I have to see, have to know that I can be myself

And if I could I would stay
And if they’re not not in my way
I’ll stare here in the distance
But I’ll grow up to be just like you, yeah
I’ll grow up to be just like you

I want to tell you
Why would I try to
You are all that I can see now
Why would I try to

And I want to tell you
Why would I try to
You are all I can see now
I know i’ll try to

I have to learn, have to try, have to trust I have to cry
I have to see, have to know that I can be myself

But if I could, yeah, I would stay
And if they’re not, not in my way
I’ll stare here in the distance
But I’ll grow up to be just like you, yeah
I’ll grow up to be just like you
Like you

The clip

The story behind I Would Stay (Dutch)

Published on March 21, 2016 at 6:00 by

A walk in Rotterdam: the Park and along the Nieuwe Maas

On this lovely spring day i went out for a walk. I went through the city center towards the Museumpark and crossed the Westzeedijk to the Park. Many many birds! I even see some parakeets flying. A heron was walking stately, occasionally eating something. I sat on the ground for a bit, watched it walking a big circle around me. That is when i saw the parakeets flying too.

When i walked further on through a path through some blue flowers blooming between the trees i went out and sat below a huge tree near the water. It was lovely.

I went out the way closest to the Nieuwe Maas and walked along the quay. I took the tram back home.

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Erasmus MC
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Parkflat
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The Park
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Parkzicht. In the early 80s i used to go out here, dance till the morning light, sit on the porch and listen to the birds waking up.
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A nameless flat
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The heron
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Sitting at the foot of a tree looking up and around me
Published on March 18, 2016 at 6:00 by

Soda bread

I do enjoy baking my own bread. Sofar i used the recipe for the rye spelt bread i posted here in January this year. Only when i had a cold for a week or two, i bought bread in the shop. Today i made another bread, for the first time: soda bread.

I have read about soda bread before. I know it is quick to make. You do not need to knead the bread and let it rise for an hour or more. It is a chemical process, with baking soda and a sour milk.

So today i checked my stocks and went to the shop: i needed buttermilk and more wholemeal flour. I had decided to use the recipe in the Guardian on the How to cook the perfect soda bread page.

The one thing i changed is the treacle. I don’t have it. I’m not even sure we have that ingredient here in the Netherlands.

OK, i just looked it up. It is most likely the same as keukenstroop. Which we do have. I’m not a big fan myself, or better said, i never bought the stuff. Anyway, i used two tablespoons of honey. Works just as well.

Ingredients

  • 450g coarse wholemeal flour
  • 50g rolled oats
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 level tsp bicarbonate of soda
  • 1 tbsp treacle
  • 1 tbsp honey
  • 450ml buttermilk (or sour milk, or milk with 1 tbsp lemon juice)
  • 1 tbsp melted butter, to finish

I did buy the buttermilk from the Weerribben. This is made in the old fashioned way. Originally buttermilk is the liquid which is left behind after churning butter or cream. In our present day supermarkets it is more common to have buttermilk that is soured with different cultures. I’m not a big milk fan, i never drink it. I did taste the buttermilk though and i did enjoy the taste. I’m not going to drink it that much, but still 🙂

Making the bread is really easy. You do need to heat up the oven to 200C first. Once the oven is warmed up, put all the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl and whisk together. Make a well in the middle. Stir the honey and buttermilk together than pour this into the well. Stir this very quickly together with a fork, later on with your hands. Shape the dough into a round, cut a deep cross into it. Bake for 50 minutes to an hour. After it is baked, brush with melted butter.

You can not keep this bread very long. This is the one issue which has prevented me from making it. I ate it with the leek potato i made earlier this week. Tomorrow i will get more, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Not sure it will be good to eat on Friday. We will see.

Published on March 17, 2016 at 6:00 by

A work day

Today i did some work. I had some css work this morning and a design job in the afternoon. I tried to keep it simple. Often that is the best way to handle it.

I did go to the supermarket this afternoon. I bought two more leeks. I wanted to make a leek and potato soup. Very simple recipe. Fry some leek, i used two. Add a sliced clove of garlic. Add a liter of hot water, two cubes of broth. Two handfuls of potatoes, sliced in half a centimeter width. Let it simmer for around twenty five minutes. Added a bit of cream. Yummy.

Tomorrow i’m gonna visit my mum. Not sure i will walk from the train station, depends on the weather.

I hope you will have a nice day. Enjoy it!

*kiss*

Published on March 15, 2016 at 6:00 by

Bowl and jug

It is so hard to draw. The more i look at something small and seemingly easy, like a bowl, the harder it gets. To draw the shade and light, to draw the reflections. Apart from the shape.

Photos are a lot easier. Focus, click, done.

It is not about getting the picture though. It is about looking and deciding. Not anywhere near something good. Just a sketch.

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Published on March 14, 2016 at 6:00 by

A walk in Rotterdam: around the Plas

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A children's pool. Empty in early March.
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The Kralingse Plas
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A bike path, grass, foot path, reed, trees, sky.
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A big tree
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Tree stumps with moss near the water
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Two birds
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Tree
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Hazy view
Published on March 11, 2016 at 6:00 by

A diary day

The weather was not bad. A bit grey, yes, but some blue patches inbetween. Not too cold. It will get warmer. Soon! Wind will be from the south southwest. Many clouds, but hardly any rain. A bit of sunshine. Time for me to plan a walk, Thursday or Friday. The Kralingse Bos. Later on a walk to the Rottemeren. On a real spring day.

My mind is so full of sex. Kisses. Skin on skin. Moist. Not sure why. I want to work. Write a good post about my history with art. Make a new video clip. Draw still lifes. And yes, well ok, sex would be nice too. It is hard to control my mind. I really do not get it. I know when it started, a year and a half ago. It is like, the more i can handle it, the more i can control my mind, the worse it gets. More vivid, more real. Like i can almost touch another body. Like i can feel someone hands going over mine. It’s not. It’s all in my mind.

*sigh*

I do realize this time will not last. A changing time.

Published on March 9, 2016 at 6:00 by