Categories for General

A bit off

The past week has been the warmest week in the Netherlands since humans started recording the temperature. I have kept quiet. It was so hot. And yes, i’ve been a bit off. Dizzy. Whenever i turned in bed, whenever i stood up i felt dizzy. And today i felt sick. Not extremely no. But when i was at the garden, after two three hours i decided to go home. Missing the Pot Luck.

So, i’m passing for today’s post. This is it. I will most likely watch tonight’s Zomergasten to see if there is anything interesting broadcasted. And i will go to bed in time. I feel tired.

Tomorrow, hopefully, i feel a lot better!

Published on July 29, 2019 at 6:00 by

The Arousing

I thought about growing the I ching coins yesterday, but in stead i decided to make a drawing. Today i did throw. I have this fantasy of throwing all sixes which gives The Creative turning into The Receptive. A small fantasy. Maybe when i am a lot older. No, this time i got 51 The Arousing. I like this one. I like it that it is a single sign. I also feel it is fitting to my current situation.

I know i should be looking for a new house, looking for work, looking for something to earn a living with. But no, i want to keep on working. I still believe in myself. Fully. But it is getting tight. I can feel my own doubts gnawing at my determination. It is scary.

So yes, i need to get myself in action. Over the next few weeks. I do think i have made my preparations.

Exciting!

51. Chên / The Arousing (Shock, Thunder)

above CHêN THE AROUSING, THUNDER
below CHêN THE AROUSING, THUNDER

The hexagram Chên represents the eldest son, who seizes rule with energy and power. A yang line develops below two yin lines and presses upward forcibly. This movement is so violent that it arouses terror. It is symbolized by thunder, which bursts forth from the earth and by its shock causes fear and trembling.

THE JUDGMENT

SHOCK brings success.
Shock comes-oh, oh!
Laughing words -ha, ha!
The shock terrifies for a hundred miles,
And he does not let fall the sacrificial spoon and chalice.

The shock that comes from the manifestation of God within the depths of the earth makes man afraid, but this fear of God is good, for joy and merriment can follow upon it.
When a man has learned within his heart what fear and trembling mean, he is safeguarded against any terror produced by outside influences. Let the thunder roll and spread terror a hundred miles around: he remains so composed and reverent in spirit that the sacrificial rite is not interrupted. This is the spirit that must animate leaders and rulers of men-a profound inner seriousness from which all terrors glance off harmlessly.

THE IMAGE

Thunder repeated: the image of SHOCK.
Thus in fear and trembling
The superior man sets his life in order
And examines himself.

The shock of continuing thunder brings fear and trembling. The superior man is always filled with reverence at the manifestation of God; he sets his life in order and searches his heart, lest it harbor any secret opposition to the will of God. Thus reverence is the foundation of true culture.

Published on July 24, 2019 at 6:00 by

Hair

Tomorrow i have an appointment with Danny. He will dye my hair silver white blond. A short piece will be cut off as well, around five centimeters i’m guessing. Maybe a bit more layering. I’m nervous!

Published on June 4, 2019 at 6:00 by

Miniature library

Over the last few weeks i took some books to the garden, hoping someone else would be interested in reading them. And some people were! The rest i will go through once again. Some i will bring to the small bookcases standing out on the streets, the miniature libraries. Some i will take to the Slegte, see if they are interested. If they are not, i will bring the rest to Piekfijn, a second-hand shop close by. I will also bring back my old iMac 27″ to the the Apple store Maddogs, also close by. The hard drive is broken, and i’m not keen on keeping it.

I will go through all my books to see if there are any more i want to get rid of. I will also go through my cupboards and check everything. Going to the attic soon!

Published on May 28, 2019 at 6:00 by

Plans for the future

I am giving myself time until the start of July to keep on working on ellenpronk.com. I do plan to write a post about events which have shaped me. Events which are still clear in my memory. Which i might need to leave behind me. Not sure about that. I got the plan for this post sometime in April. I am still thinking about the events i want to include. I will start writing soon.

After that i’m gonna take a break of a couple of weeks. Enjoy the summer.

Then i will start looking for another place to live. And if necessary work. I hope not. My plan is to find other means to earn myself a living. Through this website maybe. Not sure yet.

Salute!

Published on May 24, 2019 at 6:00 by

Peace

19. Lin / Approach

above K’UN THE RECEPTIVE, EARTH
below TUI THE JOYOUS, LAKE

The Chinese word lin has a range of meanings that is not exhausted by any single word of another language. The ancient explanations in the Book of Changes give as its first meaning, “becoming great.” What becomes great are the two strong lines growing into the hexagram from below; the light-giving power expands with them. The meaning is then further extended to include the concept of approach, especially the approach of what is lower. Finally the meaning includes the attitude of condescension of a man in high position toward the people, and in general the setting to work on affairs. This hexagram is linked with the twelfth month (January-February), when after the winter solstice, the light power begins to ascend again.

THE JUDGMENT

APPROACH has supreme success.
Perseverance furthers.
When the eighth month comes,
There will be misfortune.

The hexagram as a whole points to a time of joyous, hopeful progress. Spring is approaching. Joy and forbearance bring high and low nearer together. Success is certain. But we must work with determination and perseverance to make full use of the propitiousness of the time. And on thing more: spring does not last forever. In the eighth month the aspects are reversed. Then only two strong, light lines are left; these do not advance but are in retreat (see next hexagram). We must take heed of this change in good time. If we meet evil before it becomes reality-before it has even begun to stir-we can master it.

THE IMAGE

The earth above the lake:
The image of APPROACH.
Thus the superior man is inexhaustible
In his will to teach,
And without limits
In his tolerance and protection of the people.

The earth borders upon the lake from above. This symbolizes the approach and condescension of the man of higher position to those beneath him. The two parts of the image indicate what his attitude toward these people will be. Just as the lake is inexhaustible in depth, so the sage is inexhaustible in his readiness to teach mankind, and just as the earth is boundlessly wide, sustaining and caring for all creatures on it, so the sage sustains and cares for all people and excludes no part of humanity.

Six in the third place means:
Comfortable approach.
Nothing that would further.
If one is induced to grieve over it,
One becomes free of blame.

Things are going well for a man: he achieves power and influence. But in this lies the danger that he may relax, and confident of his position, allow the easygoing, careless mood to show itself in his dealings with other people. This would inevitably be harmful. But there is possibility of a change of mood. If he regrets his mistaken attitude and feels the responsibility of an influential position, he frees himself of faults.

11. T’ai / Peace

above K’UN THE RECEPTIVE, EARTH
below CH’IEN THE CREATIVE, HEAVEN

The Receptive, which moves downward, stands above; the Creative, which moves upward, is below. Hence their influences meet and are in harmony, so that all living things bloom and prosper. This hexagram belongs to the first month (February-March), at which time the forces of nature prepare the new spring.

THE JUDGMENT

PEACE. The small departs,
The great approaches.
Good fortune. Success.

This hexagram denotes a time in nature when heaven seems to be on earth. Heaven has placed itself beneath the earth, and so their powers unite in deep harmony. Then peace and blessing descend upon all living things.
In the world of man it is a time of social harmony; those in high places show favor to the lowly, and the lowly and inferior is an end to all feuds.
In side, at the center, in the key position, is the light principle; the dark principle is outside. Thus the light has a powerful influence, while the dark is submissive. In this way each receives its due. When the good elements of society occupy a central position and are in control, the evil elements come under their influence and change for the better. When the spirit of heaven rules in man, his animal nature also comes under its influence and takes its appropriate place.
The individual lines enter the hexagram from below and leave it again at the top. Here the small, weak, and evil elements are about to take their departure, while the great, strong, and good elements are moving up. This brings good fortune and success.

THE IMAGE

Heaven and earth unite: the image of PEACE.
Thus the ruler
Divides and completes the course of heaven and earth,
And so aids the people.

Heaven and earth are in contact and combine their influences, producing a time of universal flowering and prosperity. This stream of energy must be regulated by the ruler of men. It is done by a process of division. Thus men divide the uniform flow of time into the seasons, according to the succession of natural phenomena, and mark off infinite space by the points of the compass. In this way nature in its overwhelming profusion of phenomena is bounded and controlled. One the other hand, nature must be furthered in her productiveness. This is done by adjusting the products to the right time and the right place, which increases the natural yield. This controlling and furthering activity of man in his relation to nature is the work on nature that rewards him.

Published on May 21, 2019 at 6:00 by

No force

I’m still thinking. I have grown more quiet here, on ellenpronk.com. I try to live my life as good as possible. Be open towards the people i meet. Friendly. It is hard. I still find myself talking too much. Not listening enough.

Still thinking. This morning the thought came up. I’m still using too much force. I’m still trying to break through. I’m still trying. I still need to loose myself, relax. Look outside and see what is there. Look inside and see what is in there. Ease up.

I still trust myself. Really. It is hard. I do worry sometimes. Practical things. Where i live. Money. Sure. But yes, i still trust myself.

Thank you for your patience.

*smile*

Reading
I am reading a collection of essays written by the Dutch writer Connie Palmen (Dutch Wikipedia article) called Het Drama van de Afhankelijkheid. I haven’t read any previous books from her. I enjoy these essays. I might read more books from her.

I am noticing a different form of reading. Slower. Reading the text out loud in my head. Reading paragraphs multiple times.

This is different from my escapist form of reading. In this form i read a story, in which i loose myself.

It is a lot more strenuous to read in this non-escapist way. I catch myself trying to loose myself every sentence. I have to keep myself on track. Read slow and carefully. Do not enjoy yourself. Think!

Published on April 18, 2019 at 6:00 by

The Family

37. Chia Jên / The Family [The Clan]

above SUN THE GENTLE, WIND
below LI THE CLINGING, FIRE

The hexagram represents the laws obtaining within the family. The strong line at the top represents the father, the lowest the son. The strong line in the fifth place represents the husband, the yielding second line the wife. On the other hand, the tow strong lines in the fifth and the third place represent two brothers, and the two weak lines correlated with them in the fourth and the second place stand for their respective wives. Thus all the connections and relationships within the family find their appropriate expression. Each individual line has the character according with its place. The fact that a strong line occupies the sixth place-where a weak line might be expected-indicates very clearly the strong leadership that must come from the head of the family. The line is to be considered here not in its quality as the sixth but in its quality as the top line. THE FAMILY shows the laws operative within the household that, transferred to outside life, keep the state and the world in order. The influence that goes out from within the family is represented by the symbol of the wind created by fire.

THE JUDGMENT

THE FAMILY. The perseverance of the woman furthers.

The foundation of the family is the relationship between husband and wife. The tie that hold the family together lies in the loyalty and perseverance of the wife. The tie that holds the family together lies in the loyalty and perseverance of the wife. Her place is within (second line), while that of the husband is without (fifth line). It is in accord with the great laws of nature that husband and wife take their proper places. Within the family a strong authority is needed; this is represented by the parents. If the father is really a father and the son a son, if the elder brother fulfills his position, and the younger fulfills his, if the husband is really a husband and the wife a wife, then the family is in order. When the family is in order, all the social relationships of mankind will be in order.
Three of the five social relationships are to be found within the family-that between father and son, which is the relation of love, that between the husband and wife, which is the relation of chaste conduct, and that between elder and younger brother, which is the relation of correctness. The loving reverence of the son is then carried over to the prince in the form of faithfulness to duty; the affection and correctness of behavior existing between the two brothers are extended to a friend in the form of loyalty, and to a person of superior rank in the form of deference. The family is society in the embryo; it is the native soil on which performance of moral duty is made early through natural affection, so that within a small circle a basis of moral practice is created, and this is later widened to include human relationships in general.

THE IMAGE

Wind comes forth from fire:
The image of THE FAMILY.
Thus the superior man has substance in his words
And duration in his way of life.

Heat creates energy: this is signified by the wind stirred up by the fire and issuing forth form it. This represents influence working from within outward. The same thing is needed in the regulation of the family. Here too the influence on others must proceed form one’s own person. In order to be capable of producing such an influence, one’s words must have power, and this they can have only if they are based on something real, just as flame depends on its fuel Words have influence only when they are pertinent and clearly related to definite circumstances. General discourses and admonitions have no effect whatsoever. Furthermore, the words must be supported by one’s entire conduct, just as the wind is made effective by am impression on others that they can adapt and conform to it. If words and conduct are not in accord and consistent, they will have no effect.

Published on April 16, 2019 at 6:00 by

Climate March

Today the Climate March was held in Amsterdam. The weather was terrible, hard winds and rain rain rain. I was wet through to my underclothes. This morning when i left i had the old weather forecast in my head. But no. Terrible.

I did love walking besides the Klimaatkoor wagon and singing along with the songs.

I felt i needed to be a part of this. I’m not a very political person, but i did want to let my voice be heard. Singing along was a good way to do this.

Photographer: Marjolein
Photographer: Diamela

Published on March 11, 2019 at 6:00 by

Climate March 10 March

Sunday 10 March i will be joining the Climate March in Amsterdam. I have my own little cardboard poster, which i made last Sunday on the Peace Garden.

I am a bit nervous. Not really the person for big events, for a huge amount of people. But i do believe in voicing my concerns about the current political system. I am allowing myself the option to opt out at any time, but i do hope that won’t be necessary.

Salute!

Published on March 8, 2019 at 6:00 by