Categories for General

Through the mirror

I made a photo of me. Looking in a mirror. I’m not happy with it, so i just removed it from this post. I was thinking today about this post, but nothing came to mind.

Today i spend the whole day reading, playing a bit of stardew valley, playing a bit of wow. Thinking about my drawing, but not actually working on it. It was still a good day. Peaceful. By myself.

It is the middle of the night while i am writing this. Yesterday was the longest day of the year. A turning point. The days will shorten once more after this.

Published on June 22, 2020 at 6:00 by


This afternoon i went out to do some shopping. I bought a sandwich at the butcher and walked to the garden and sat there eating, while i watched the others there working. It was nice.

But i also felt really tired.

I need a bit of time to rest, not worry, do the things i enjoy, read, play a game, garden and talk with friends. It is good i’m feeling this now, i was holding it back for quite some time. Temporary yes. Still, a time to recoup.

Enjoy the weekend. Salute!

Published on June 12, 2020 at 6:00 by

A quick one

The modem is only occasionally working. And today I cocooned in my room playing Warcraft and Stardew valley. So here it is. And oops! The modem is down again.

Published on May 18, 2020 at 6:00 by

Sunday 10 May 2020

This morning i got out of bed around ten. I made breakfast. Almond pancakes with bacon, butter, strawberries and a bit of coconut blossom sugar. Around twelf i went back upstairs. Played a bit of warcraft. Yesterday i got my mount! And i turned fifty! Yay!

Around three i went downstairs to take a shower. I washed my hair. I washed myself. Feels good.

I made some dinner: greens with a tomato, cucumber and two sausages. The sausages i bought at the market yesterday. It was open again. Different, yes. But still, it felt good. And tomorrow the library is open once again. I love that!

This evening i watched Homeland together with Ted and Assie. Then i went up to write this post.

Nothing special. Sure. A slow leave it be Sunday. No walks. No work.

And i really enjoy it.


Published on May 11, 2020 at 6:00 by

The pharmacy

I haven’t done that much today. This morning i watched the briefing of the RIVM (National Institute for Public Health and the Environment) to the Tweede Kamer (House of Representatives). I watched it with interest. Especially the death rate of elder people who live in a nursing home is worrying. Many elder people who are ill and not tested.

I am still thinking about our ‘anderhalvemetersamenleving‘, our one and a half meter society. I understand the rule. I realize all science and medical knowledge favours this rule. I abide by this rule when i do my walks. I often move to the street when i saw someone coming up to me on the sidewalk. Sure.

But we are social beings. We live in a tight fitted community. We love to hug, to hold somebody close, to kiss, to feel the warmth of somebody else close to us, to put our arms around each other. We love to be close. So i can not see how this rule can be held up longer than a few months, if at all. Elder people especially miss their families.

I’m still thinking about this. Troubled about this. Not sure about this.

Ooh, the title of this post! Well, that was my walk today. I went to the pharmacy to get new medications for the next three months.

This evening i picked a card for today. I shuffled the stack of cards beforehand, split it in three parts and made it in one stack and picked the top card: Nine of Pentacles. A good card.

In a general context, the Nine of Pentacles is a great omen to get as it represents success, independence, confidence, freedom, security and stability. It is a Minor Arcana card of abundance, prosperity and wealth gained through hard work, self-discipline and control and self-reliance. It signifies that you have worked very hard to create the success and status you are experiencing and now is the time to enjoy it. So indulge yourself, pamper yourself and enjoy the luxury and contentment your accomplishments bring you. The Nine of Pentacles also signifies beauty, grace, elegance and sophistication so you may find yourself enjoying the finer things in life when it appears. This card also tells you that you have gained maturity and wisdom through your perseverance. If representing a person, it usually represents a strong, confident, independent woman who is beautiful and sophisticated and has worked hard to get where she is.

Enjoy your weekend. Salute!

Published on April 17, 2020 at 6:00 by

Forget me not

Around nine i got out of bed. I took my medicine, put on some stay-at-home clothes, went downstairs and started to make breakfast. Pancakes with almond flour, one egg and some cream. Bacon sizzling in the pan, the thick batter on top of it and a slow cook for around five to seven minutes. I let out Robin. The moment i came down he looked at me from the bed he was lying on and walked quickly to the door of the terrace. Out! Out!

I ate my breakfast watching stuff on my iPad. Some links, some youtube clips, some facebook. A bit of Stardew Valley. I felt a bit lazy.

Assie and Ted appeared. I made some tea and drank it with a bit of pure chocolate. It was a bit chillier than yesterday.

For lunch i made a salad with spinach, some cherry tomatoes, half a bell pepper and a boiled egg. Yum. I went out for a short walk. An hour or so. I had my coat and a scarf on. In the sunshine i opened my coat, but in the shade and the wind i closed it all again. Chill.

Home again. I went upstairs. More Stardew. More youtube.

And my mind is running. I’m kissing someone, in my mind. Holding hands with someone. Smiling. I can not let it go. I talk to people, in my mind.

It is so close. So near. I don’t know what to do – or rather – i am afraid. Afraid to fail. Which is nonsense of course. I just have to be myself. Just have to be relaxed. Just have to pay attention to everything outside. No worry about me. I’m fine. I’m good. Outside is the place i need to worry about.

I was just lying on my bed, playing a bit. The thought of what wrote was on my mind. No, this is not what i want to say. This is not what i really really want. Of course i wish for love and friendship. Of course. And friendships i do have. Maybe not the best and most special kind, but still. I know many people who are kind and loving and do their best to live the best life they can. Am i doing that? Can i honestly say that?

That tarot card i picked yesterday, the heart with the three swords going through it, it shows unhappiness. Last Saturday i had a talk with Ted about my present situation. The pain i felt. The sadness of loosing my house. I felt tears in my eyes. I still remember the rooms, the kitchen, the bathroom, my sleeping room, my working place. I felt the joy of staying there, so close to the center. I felt the joy of living so close to the water. The quietness of the street. The view on the park on the other side of the water.

I don’t know what lies in future for me. I can only do my best. I can only try and pick the best road to travel. Do what feels right to me. Not be impatient. Especially not that.

I have to let it all go. Keep the memories. But live on, and try to make the best of it. As i know i can.

Published on April 14, 2020 at 6:00 by

It is well to remain below

62. Hsiao Kuo / Preponderance of the Small


While in the hexagram Ta Kuo, PREPONDERANCE OF THE GREAT (28), the strong lines preponderate and are within, inclosed between weak lines at the top and bottom, the present hexagram has weak lines preponderating, though here again they are on the outside, the strong lines being within. This indeed is the basis of the exceptional situation indicated by the hexagram. When strong lines are outside, we have the hexagram I, PROVIDING NOURISHMENT (27), or Chung Fu, INNER TRUTH, (61); neither represents and exceptional state. When strong elements within preponderate, they necessarily enforce their will. This creates struggle and exceptional conditions in general. But in the present hexagram it is the weak element that perforce must mediate with the outside world. If a man occupies a position of authority for which he is by nature really inadequate, extraordinary prudence is necessary.


Perseverance furthers.
Small things may be done; great things should not be done.
The flying bird brings the message:
It is not well to strive upward,
It is well to remain below.
Great good fortune.

Exceptional modesty and conscientiousness are sure to be rewarded with success; however, if a man is not to throw himself away, it is important that they should not become empty form and subservience but be combined always with a correct dignity in personal behavior. We must understand the demands of the time in order to find the necessary offset for its deficiencies and damages. In any event we must not count on great success, since the requisite strength is lacking. In this lies the importance of the message that one should not strive after lofty things but hold to lowly things.
The structure of the hexagram gives rise to the idea that this message is brought by a bird. In Ta Kuo, PREPONDERANCE OF THE GREAT (28), the four strong, heavy lines within, supported only by two weak lines without, give the image of a sagging ridgepole. Here the supporting weak lines are both outside and preponderant; this gives the image of a soaring bird. But a bird should not try to surpass itself and fly into the sun; it should descend to the earth, where its nest is. In this way it gives the message conveyed by the hexagram.


Thunder on the mountain:
Thus in his conduct the superior man gives preponderance to reverence.
In bereavement he gives preponderance to grief.
In his expenditures he gives preponderance to thrift.

Thunder on the mountain is different from thunder on the plain. In the mountains, thunder seems much nearer; outside the mountains, it is less audible than the thunder of an ordinary storm. Thus the superior man derives an imperative from this image: he must always fix his eyes more closely and more directly on duty than does the ordinary man, even though this might make his behavior seem petty to the outside world. He is exceptionally conscientious in his actions. In bereavement emotion means more to him than ceremoniousness. In all his personal expenditures he is extremely simple and unpretentious. In comparison with the man of the masses, all this makes him stand out as exceptional. But the essential significance of his attitude lies in the fact that in external matters he is on the side of the lowly.

Published on April 7, 2020 at 6:00 by

A lazy day

Today i haven’t been outside. I watched a Beck episode on Netflix. I played Stardew Valley. I bought this game earlier this week. A basic farming RPG, where you can farm, forage, mine and fish. I play this game on my iPad, lying on my bed. Very enjoyable.

That is it for today. Nothing important going on. Simply move along.

Salute! Enjoy your weekend. 🙂

Published on April 3, 2020 at 6:00 by