When i started this website, in 2015, it seemed to me i knew more subjects to write about. I wrote quite a few posts in the past years. But lately i am barren. Nothing comes out of me. Nothing i deem worthy. Or so it seems to me.
I do have thoughts, sometimes, who seem of value. Sometimes. Sometimes i read a bit and it inspires me. But when i sit behind my computer, try to think of something worth writing, i feel empty.
I hope there is an end to this feeling. I hope i will find many things to write about. As i once did.
I hope i will learn from this experience.
Published on June 1, 2021 at 6:00 by Ellen
Today i walked to the library. So happy it is open again! The first part i walked up with Eric, my house lord with his little dog Blue. After i walked through the Spoortuin, then along the Westersingel to the Hema, where i bought half a rookworst. I sat there on a bench eating it, looking around me. Then i walked on to the library, over the market. A woman started talking to me, right before it. If i knew Our Father and Our Mother were taking care of us. We started a short talk and argued over Maria Magdalena. I was pretty sure she was not Mary the mother of Jesus. I also didn’t agree with her that God (my term, she kept saying Our Father) will take care of us. I think most of the hardships in the world are to make us stronger. But hey, that is only my opinion.
Well, that is my story for today. It is getting a bit warmer. Even though there was a bit of rain falling from the sky today. Most of it while i was back at home, happy to say.
Enjoy your day!
Published on May 26, 2021 at 6:00 by Ellen
I am still thinking about my future. If i have one. I enjoy the walks i make almost every day. I enjoy smiling at people, saying hi, good morning, good afternoon, good day, sometimes chat with them, looking at the dogs, sometimes patting them. Simple things.
I try to make my head clear, see around me, think about the things happening. This is difficult. It is so easy to let the society in which i live determine me. The people around me determine me. I feel the space around me becoming smaller, tighter. Money. Yes.
I still have enough for the next year. But i don’t want to wait till its all gone.
I am getting closer, i can feel it. But it is hard.
I would like to write about science, personal big data, shopping / retail, gardening, permaculture, movies and their meanings, the life people lead, dogs and cats and birds, food and so many other things. Most of these things i have already written about sure. But to try and get it all into one perspective. Yes!
Published on May 24, 2021 at 6:00 by Ellen
At times it is difficult for me to stay on course. To keep the feeling of where i am headed to, what i want to say. At the right time. What i want to say clearly, with a focused mind. Because i believe it, i trust in it.
I can feel the turmoil within myself.
I have talked about so many things on this website: the world, gardening, movies, music, reading, science. It feels to me i try to gather everything in my head and spit it out in a clear and decisive way. Impossible of course. I feel so stupid.
I need to find a good place to start. Something clear, to me anyway. Get my mind in order!
Published on May 20, 2021 at 6:00 by Ellen
I made a walk today for about an hour. I wasn’t feeling too well, but once outside, i felt fine. I made a round walk, past the market at the end of the Grote Visserijstraat, past the Dakpark, through the old streets in Delfshaven, the Hooidrift, the Matthenesserlaan and than back home. It was quite warm when walking in the sunshine.
I am working on a drawing. Last Friday i got the idea for it. Last Tuesday i started with it. It will take a few weeks before it is done. The first idea will find a way into the drawing, but i do need to think about other things going on inside the world. It is still in the early stage.
I also made an appointment for a corona vaccination. Sometime in June. Happy with that.
Published on May 14, 2021 at 6:00 by Ellen
Walking home through the Essenburg Park after emptying the compost bin in the Spoortuin. Lovely flowers
Almost all the dandelions are in seed
Sitting on the benh around the tree. Across from me a family was sitting on a tiny island in the middle of the pond. We did wave to each other after a short time. 🙂
Published on May 12, 2021 at 6:00 by Ellen
Yesterday’s and today’s full moon in April 2021, at a distance closest to the earth, hence the name Supermoon. More events are on this list the Astronomy Calendar of 2021.
Published on April 28, 2021 at 6:00 by Ellen
A quiet day today. I did walk to the Spoortuin with my compost bucket to empty it in their heap. Walking back through the Essenburg park, sitting on the bench around the tree for a short while. Lovely weather. Sunshine, not too cold, not too hot either. Before i went out i danced for fifteen minutes or so. Makes me so happy!
Tomorrow i will be going to my mother. It’s been more than a year since i last saw her. We do speak regularly over the phone. We will eat white asparagus with eggs and ham. Yummy 🙂
Enjoy the day!
Published on April 27, 2021 at 6:00 by Ellen