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Opposition

17. Sui / Following

above TUI THE JOYOUS, LAKE
below CHêN THE AROUSING, THUNDER

The trigram Tui, the Joyous, whose attribute is gladness, is above; Chên, the Arousing, which has the attribute of movement, is below. Joy in movement induces following. The Joyous is the youngest daughter, while the Arousing is the eldest son. An older man defers to a young girl and shows her consideration. By this he moves her to follow him.

THE JUDGMENT

FOLLOWING has supreme success.
Perseverance furthers. No blame.

In order to obtain a following one must first know how to adapt oneself. If a man would rule he must first learn to serve, for only in this way does he secure from those below him the joyous assent that is necessary if they are to follow him. If he has to obtain a following by force or cunning, by conspiracy or by creating faction, he invariably arouses resistance, which obstructs willing adherence. But even joyous movement can lead to evil consequences, hence the added stipulation, “Perseverance furthers” –that is, consistency in doing right– together with “No blame.” Just as we should not ask others to follow us unless this condition is fulfilled, so it is only under this condition that we can in turn follow others without coming to harm.
The thought of obtaining a following through adaptation to the demands of the time is a great and significant idea; this is why the appended judgment is so favorable.

THE IMAGE

Thunder in the middle of the lake:
The image of FOLLOWING.
Thus the superior man at nightfall
Goes indoors for rest and recuperation.

In the autumn electricity withdraws into the earth again and rests. Here it is the thunder in the middle of the lake that serves as the image–thunder in its winter rest, not thunder in motion. The idea of following in the sense of adaptation to the demands of the time grows out of this image. Thunder in the middle of the lake indicates times of darkness and rest. Similarly, a superior man, after being tirelessly active all day, allows himself rest and recuperation at night. No situation can become favorable until one is able to adapt to it and does not wear himself out with mistaken resistance.

Six in the second place means:
If one clings to the little boy,
One loses the strong man.

In friendships and close relationships an individual must make a careful choice. He surrounds himself either with good or with bad company; he cannot have both at once. If he throws himself away on unworthy friends he loses connection with people of intellectual power who could further him in the good.

°Nine in the fifth place means:
Sincere in the good. Good fortune.

Every man must have something he follows–something that serves him as a lodestar. He who follows with conviction the beautiful and the good may feel himself strengthened by this saying.

Six at the top means:
He meets with firm allegiance
And is still further bound.
The king introduces him
To the Western Mountain.

This refers to a man, an exalted sage, who has already put the turmoil of the world behind him. But a follower appears who understands him and is not to be put off. So the sage comes back into the world and aids the other in his work. Thus there develops an eternal tie between the two.
The allegory is chosen from the annals of the Chou dynasty. The rulers of this dynasty honored men who had served them well by awarding them a place in the royal family’s temple of ancestors on the Western Mountain. In this way they were regarded as sharing in the destiny of the ruling family.

38. K’uei / Opposition

above LI THE CLINGING, FLAME
below TUI THE JOYOUS, LAKE

This hexagram is composed of the trigram Li above, i.e., flame, which burns upward, and Tui below, i.e., the lake, which seeps downward. These tow movements are indirect contrast. Furthermore, LI is the second daughter and Tui the youngest daughter, and although they live in the same house they belong to different men; hence their wills are not the same but are divergently directed.

THE JUDGMENT

OPPOSITION. In small matters, good fortune.

When people live in opposition and estrangement they cannot carry out a great undertaking in common; their points of view diverge too widely. In such circumstances one should above all not proceed brusquely, for that would only increase the existing opposition; instead, one should limit oneself to producing gradual effects in small matters. Here success can still be expected, because the situation is such that the opposition does not preclude all agreement.
In general, opposition appears as an obstruction, but when it represents polarity within a comprehensive whole, it has also its useful and important functions. The oppositions of heaven and earth, spirit and nature, man and woman, when reconciled, bring about the creation and reproduction of life. In the world of visible things, the principle of opposites makes possible the differentiation by categories through which order is brought into the world.

THE IMAGE.

Above, fire; below. The lake.
The image of OPPOSITION.
Thus amid all fellowship
The superior man retains his individuality.

The two elements, fire and water, never mingle but even when in contact retain their own natures. So the sutured man is never led into baseness or vulgarity through intercourse or community of interests with persons of another sort; regardless of all commingling, he will always preserve his individuality.

Published on September 17, 2019 at 6:00 by

Drizzle

Grapes nearly ripe
Pumpkins picked and set to ripen a bit more
Beautiful flower
The whole afternoon it faintly drizzled. I quite enjoyed it 🙂
The place where i buried Muis nearly two weeks ago
The harvest
Published on September 12, 2019 at 6:00 by

The psychiatrist

It was around 2004 or 2005 that i thought there was something really wrong with me. Nothing seemed to work for me. I had fallen in love with somebody who clearly said to me he wasn’t in love with me. My work was only half satisfying me. So i went to the Riagg, the institute for ambulant mental healthcare. This institute doesn’t exist anymore. They referred me to a psychiatrist.

I went there and we talked. Truly, i don’t remember that much about what we talked about. A few things he said to me i do remember. Once he said to me that i was continuously wearing the same clothes. At another point he said to me my mother might be a bigger issue to me that i thought. We did talk about my father, who i hadn’t seen for around fifteen years at the time. At both points i felt he had a point. My clothes, hmm, not a big point really. I still wear similar clothes during the week. At home i wear my home clothes, that are comfortable and easy. To the garden i wear other clothes. When i go shopping i wear a dress or pants and a t-shirt. Very basic.

I love my mother. But she is part of a life behind me. My father is somebody i don’t think about too much really. A part of a life way behind me.

I think i went to this psychiatrist for around a year. When i left he said to me i could come back if i wanted to. I never did. Nor want to.

I left with the feeling i should be a bit more nicer to myself. More forgiving for all the mistakes i make. No, i’m not perfect. I do not need to be.

Looking back on it, i really do not think i needed to go to the psychiatrist. There wasn’t much wrong with me. Still, it is not wrong i went at the time.

Published on September 10, 2019 at 6:00 by

Intimacy

I have grown older over the years. I see the wrinkles in my face. My thinning brows. It’s not all as smooth as it once was. I do find that difficult. Just yet, i made photos of my face. I opened them in photoshop and i have to keep myself from adding a blur filter. Don’t do that!

I’m happy the eczema around my mouth is finally disappearing though.

I do get older. Luckily! I do feel quieter in myself. I feel more aware. Aware of what happens inside of me and outside of me. I’m thinking. All the time.

The past five years have been very thought provoking. It started with me falling in love. I’m still not sure why that happened. I am happy that it was very inconsequential. Very dreamlike. Not real. Apart from my own feelings. It gave me the opportunity to think about myself, to dissect myself. Take away all these parts i thought was me, to find out it is not.

I’m trying to live the best life i can imagine. With friends around me, activities which makes me happy. Doing something worthwhile. And yes, working on this website is worthwhile for me. It is my diary. A place in which i can play around, express thoughts, show photos, drawings. Whatever i want. It is not high art. But i do love it myself. Working in the garden is also important. The people i meet there are friends.

I do long for somebody to be close with. Somebody to share my life with. Desperately. Somebody to be friends with. Be silent with.

I still do.

Published on September 6, 2019 at 6:00 by