Author Archives for Ellen

What should i do?

It is May 2020. I have been living in the place i am now for three months. The deal is i will live here for four months. So i only have four more weeks to find something else.

This is not something new. I knew this from the the beginning i started to live here. But i did not think about it too much. I had my fall, the accident on 3 February. That was a big thing for me. And i enjoy my time here.

But it is enough. I realize that.

I feel lost. I know this place is like a branch i can rest on for a short while, before i need to move on. I’m not sure what to do. So i better be extremely careful.

So i threw the I Ching, after i wrote the first part of this post. I got two signs with one changing line. The first sign is 39 Obstruction. The changing line is the top line, a six. When this line changed i got the resulting sign de 53 Development. Both these signs seem to fit my question and my current situation. An obstacle and a slow development.

A slow development is what i am used to the past years. I have been the most important factor in that. When i sold my house, but could live in it for two more years for rent. That was a slow movement.

The Obstruction starts with a description. A dangerous drop lying in front of us, behind us a steep mountain. Surrounded by obstacles. Obstacles which can and need to be overcome. It tells us to face the upcoming troubles and withdraw as a preparation for surmounting the difficulties. We need to find a connection with like minded friends and accept the guidance of someone who can deal with the difficulties. We need to be inspired with the will to keep on going. Especially when our trying seems to lead us away from our goals. An inner sustained course will lead to salvation. This sign, which will last only a short time, is important for the development of our character.

The changing line at the top says the following:

Going leads to obstructions,
Coming leads to great good fortune.
It furthers one to see the great man.

Here a man is shown, who has left behid the world and her works. When the time of obstacles comes, it would seem easy to leave behind the world and go to the hereafter. This way is not open to him. His duty calls him back to the world. His experience and his inner freedom will make it possible to achieve some grand that will lead to salvation.

This changing line leads to sign 53 Development. The maiden is given in marriage. Good fortune! Every passage has its pace. Acting in haste is not right. The correct way to development is the refinement of ones own personality. Gentleness, the slow adjusting, but at the same time the penetration is the visible result from an inner restfulness. The gradual development gives stability. Only stability gives the certainty the slow progression will not weaken.

The image is of a tree on a mountain. It grows gradually. The influence on people can only be gradual. One needs to work on her own moral development with constant care.

——

Thank you.

*bow*

Today i was thinking about what i wrote last Thursday for my post on Friday.

Right now i’m in an in between place. Not yet leaving behind my past, not yet looking to the future. This pain i feel is something i need to deal with. I need to give it a place to rest. I know i can. I know. But it is hard, difficult, painful.

Today i came across several articles and posts and videos which were directing me in the same direction:

• Liminality

. In anthropology, liminality (from the Latin word līmen, meaning “a threshold”) is the quality of ambiguity or disorientation that occurs in the middle stage of a rite of passage, when participants no longer hold their pre-ritual status but have not yet begun the transition to the status they will hold when the rite is complete. During a rite’s liminal stage, participants “stand at the threshold” between their previous way of structuring their identity, time, or community, and a new way, which completing the rite establishes.

• Rite of passage. A rite of passage is a ceremony or ritual of the passage which occurs when an individual leaves one group to enter another. It involves a significant change of status in society.
• This came up while i was watching a youtube video: Myth, Wisdom & Pandemic, Stephen Jenkinson, Zak Stein & Charlotte Du Cann
  
  I haven’t finished this video, but i will continue once i have written this post. The word liminal did come up in it quite early on in the video. Curious about the rest of it.
• Then the thought came up to pull a day card for me. I pulled Death. Pulling the Death card is like, are you ready to move onto the next level?

I have been thinking about these aspects and things in myself for many many years. Maybe even the biggest part of my life. I hope i can find the courage within myself to continue with this. To take on my life and my work with seriousness. To not let go. To hold on. Fiercely.