Author Archives for Ellen

Retreat

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33. TUN / Retreat

The power of the dark is ascending. The light retreats to security, so that the dark cannot encroach upon it. This retreat is a matter not of man’s will but of natural law. Therefore in this case withdrawal is proper; it is the correct way to behave in order not to exhaust one’s forces.

In the calendar this hexagram is linked with the sixth month (July-August), in which the forces of winter are already showing their influence.

THE JUDGMENT

RETREAT. Success.
In what is small, perseverance furthers.

Conditions are such that the hostile forces favored by the time are advancing. In this case retreat is the right course, and it is not to be confused with flight. Flight means saving oneself under any circumstances, whereas retreat is a sign of strength. We must be careful not to miss the right moment while we are in full possession of power and position. Then we shall be able to interpret the signs of the time before it is too late and to prepare for provisional retreat instead of being drawn into a desperate life-and-death struggle. Thus we do not simple abandon the field to the opponent; we make it difficult for him to advance by showing perseverance in single acts of resistance. In this way we prepare, while retreating, for the counter-movement. Understanding the laws of a constructive retreat of this sort is not easy. The meaning that lies hidden in such a time is important.

THE IMAGE

Mountain under heaven: the image of RETREAT.
Thus the superior man keeps the inferior man at a distance,
Not angrily but with reserve.

The mountain rises up under heaven, but owing to its nature it finally comes to a stop. Heaven on the other hand retreats upward before it into the distance and remains out of reach. This symbolizes the behavior of the superior man toward a climbing inferior; he retreats into his own thoughts as the inferior man comes forward. He does not hate him, for hatred is a form of subjective involvement by which we are bound to the hated object. The superior man shows strength (heaven) in that he brings the inferior man to a standstill (mountain) by his dignified reserve.

THE LINES

°Six at the beginning means:
At the tail in retreat. This is dangerous.
One must not wish to undertake anything.

Since the hexagram is the picture of something that is retreating, the lowest line represents the tail and the top line the head. In a retreat it is advantageous to be at the front. Here one is at the back, in immediate contact with the pursuing enemy. This is dangerous, and under such circumstances it is not advisable to undertake anything. Keeping still is the easiest way of escaping from the threatening danger.

Six in the second place means:
he holds him fast with yellow oxhide.
No one can tear him loose.

Yellow is the color of the middle. It indicates that which is correct and in line with duty. Oxhide is strong and not to be torn.

While the superior men retreat and the inferior press after them, the inferior man represented here holds on so firmly and tightly to the superior man that the latter cannot shake him off. And because he is in quest of what is right an so strong in purpose, he reaches his goal. Thus the line confirms what is said in the Judgment: “In what is small” —here equivalent to “in the inferior man” — “perseverance furthers.”

Nine in the third place means:
A halted retreat
Is nerve-wracking and dangerous.
To retain people as men- and maidservants
Brings good fortune.

When it is time to retreat it is both unpleasant and dangerous to be held back, because then one no longer has freedom of action. In such a case the only expedient is to take into one’s service, so to speak, those who refuse to let one go, so that one may at least keep one’s initiative and not fall helplessly under their domination. But even with this expedient the situation is far from satisfactory—for what can one hope to accomplish with such servants?

Nine in the fourth place means:
Voluntary retreat brings good fortune to the superior man
And downfall to the inferior man.

In retreating the superior man is intent on taking his departure willingly and in all friendliness. He easily adjusts his mind to retreat, because in retreating he does not have to do violence to his convictions. The only one who suffers is the inferior man from whom he retreats, who will degenerate when deprived of the guidance of the superior man.

Nine in the fifth place means:
Friendly retreat. Perseverance brings good fortune.

It is the business of the superior man to recognize in time that the moment for retreat has come. If the right moment is chosen, the retreat can be carried out within the forms of perfect friendliness, without the necessity of disagreeable discussions. Yet, for all the observance of amenities, absolute firmness of decision is necessary if one is not to be led astray by irrelevant considerations.

Nine at the top means:
Cheerful retreat. Everything serves to further.

The situation is unequivocal. Inner detachment has become an established fact, and we are at liberty to depart. When one sees the way ahead thus clearly, free of all doubt, a cheerful mood sets in, and one chooses what is right without further thought. Such a clear path ahead always leads to the good.

Published on November 11, 2016 at 6:00 by

Rosemary

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The garden with shrubs all around it. In this part there are some eternal leeks growing. I also planted some bulbs in here. They should be blooming from February to July next year. We also weeded this bit out a few weeks ago. We did all the bits, the bit where the chickens will come, the bit where the apple trees grow in the other garden 100 meters further.
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A corner. Strawberries are planted here, some other vegetables, kale for instance, grow here too. Some straw to throw on the ground when it is extremely wet. Like today!
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On the left row we used the plants of the parsnip harvest as mulch. We also collected sacks of dead leaves from around the garden and dug it in the ground. Leaves are not nutrituous, but they do better the structure of the ground. We still do need that in our clay garden with only top soil of compost.
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The small side with plum trees, shrubs and topinamboer growing at the end of it.
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Freely seeded plants, celery, chervil, spinach. I'm sorry to say i don't know which is which. It looks lovely!
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Beans at the top, some mulch, leeks.
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Last Sunday we swiped all the dead leaves together and threw them on the garden down below. A general mulch and like i said earlier, improvement of the ground structure.
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Lettuce, endive, green chicory.
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In front of the markthal there are these beds of several plants. Last Saturday i was walking past them, and to my surprise i saw these rosemary plants growing there. Not just this bit on the photo, but several bits all planted over several meters of beds.
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Last Tuesday i picked some rosemary. I had them with me when i went to the Meiden on the market. The girl helping me asked about the stems i had in my hand. She was really surprised when i said i picked them myself from besides the Markthal. Very few people notice these things. Like the plants growing next to the church: the onions, fennel, chard and other plants growing in these round beds.
Published on November 10, 2016 at 6:00 by

Art from friends

I don’t have many art works from other people in my house. I have three works in total, all from old friends.

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Un angle dȇcadré permet de transmettre une impression de danger, Jeroen Bosch, 2006. I bought this work from Jeroen in 2006. I love package material. I met Jeroen through an e-mail he send me around 1998, about my work online. I replied. He also lives in Rotterdam, so we eventually had a meeting. There were more people in Rotterdam working online, some programmers, some artists. It was fun. We didn't keep together though. This made me sad at times, but it was also a natural movement. Some got children, some moved away. The way things go.
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Saskia Veugelers made this photograph of me around 1992/1993. She made a series of artists working in Rotterdam at the time. Between ten and five years ago she contacted me and asked me if i wanted the large print back. She was cleaning up her house. I said yes, of course. A good photo to hang above my couch. I like Kylie's calendar, the I Ching book under the table, my black and white television, a work from Cezanne. In my old house, now torn down. A memory.
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An old work from Ben Oostrum i got as a present for my birthday in 1993. On the back is the name of the work this is based on: Andrea di Bonatuti da Firenze, Crucifixion. I always kept this work hanging in my room, even though i didn't see Ben for around fifteen years. I do come across him at times the past years, we chat a little. A friend of the past.
Published on November 9, 2016 at 6:00 by

Fire

It is a quiet day today. And cold. Which wasn’t the main reason i turned on my gas stove today. My mum called me up. She knew i hadn’t turned the heating on yet. She thought my gas stove was broke. It isn’t. The pulling system with which i could turn on the starting fire is broke. But i can still use it unscrewing the front, removing the glass and turn it on with a match. I cleaned the glass before i put it back in. It is better, it does feel warmer in my house now.

Tomorrow i need to work. Hopefully it will all be done in a day. I will also need to go to the market.

I have written about many things on this website. Very personal things. It usually feels like a relief writing here. Like i’m writing things out of my system. I know i’m in a tight spot right now. I am not sure why i don’t worry about it more. I don’t. I can feel the edge coming, my bank account going down, my mortgage not being paid. And i simply don’t worry. I still feel i need to show you, my dear reader, something. Something important.

I do have a few upcoming posts i need to work on. Eroticism. Life is wonderful. A clip with the couple of art pieces i got from friends. It should all be done in time.

I hope you will have a good Tuesday. Or any other day for that matter, i don’t know on which day you will read this.

Good wishes.

*hug*

Published on November 8, 2016 at 6:00 by

In the rain

At two today, Sunday 6 November, i was in the garden. It was raining. I emptied my compost bucket, talked with John for a short bit. I weeded for around fifteen minutes the side with the shrubs. Then Daniël came along. Coffee!

And i had some cookies with me. Oatmeal raisin cookies. A first try. Fine, but could be better. We cleaned up the greenhouse for a bit. Threw some stuff away. I wiped the boards. It got busier. Some were clearing the beans and corn rows, taking away the high rising bamboo structures the beans were growing unto. I went to the other garden to harvest some parsnips, together with Stephan. In the end we harvested the entire parsnip harvest. The rats were eating them. The ones not taking home will be put below sand.

I didn’t make any photo’s. I had intended to do so. Show you the work we have done on the shrub sides, weeded out and new shrubs planted to fill it up a bit more. But we worked hard, and it got dark quite soon. And it did rain intermittently.

I am tired now. My garden clothes are in the washing machine. Also the rain cape i wore today, which was still dirty from the last time i used it. The parsnips i took home are in a bowl with water. I will clean them properly later on this evening.

So for today, goodbye. Enjoy your Monday.

Salute!

Published on November 7, 2016 at 6:00 by

WAR!

The past months i experienced this extreme dislike of the entire expedition to Mars. Elon Musk, one of the main initiators said the following:

An asteroid or a super volcano could destroy us, and we face risks the dinosaurs never saw: an engineered virus, inadvertent creation of a micro black hole, catastrophic global warming or some as-yet-unknown technology could spell the end of us. Humankind evolved over millions of years, but in the last sixty years atomic weaponry created the potential to extinguish ourselves. Sooner or later, we must expand life beyond this green and blue ball—or go extinct.

I do understand this. An asteroid can always hit us. It hit the dinosaurs, and it wiped them out. Atomic weaponry can wipe us out, yes. Global warming can wipe us out, yes.

If we continue the way we do right now.

The odds are against us. We have a large written history of being selfish, greedy small people fighting to get the best out of life, no matter what. We have an even larger unwritten history with those exact same characteristics. Times of peace have been rare. Times of humans living in harmony with the world are rare.

There are many, many people fighting against this scenario. The people in the garden, the people i work with twice a week, are doing exactly that. One of them i called a warrior, one of the coordinators. Not a fighting knight, no, but still, fighting each day to make this world a little bit better. And there are many more people like that. In the Netherlands, in Europe, America, Asia and Australia.

I don’t know precisely who is at the other end. The Kochs is one family which my eye fell on. There are a few more of those: Here Are The Corporations And Right-Wing Funders Backing The Education Reform Movement. Dark Money, a book written by Jane Mayer:

Mayer believes that the Koch brothers and a small number of allied plutocrats have essentially hijacked American democracy, using their money not just to compete with their political adversaries, but to drown them out.

I don’t know enough about all the people in the world to pinpoint a certain group. I do think some people in this world don’t care about our earth, about the animals living here, the plants living here. But mostly it is people simply not thinking things through. People too busy with their own lives. And it is hard. Yes.

I am 52 years old. I have worked around 20 years, earned my own keep, paid for my own computer. And now i’m thinking. Thinking hard. Thinking about what we do, in this time. Thinking about where we are going to, where this world will lead us.

So yes, war.

Not a wild fight, not a massive battlefield with dead bodies. Not that, i hope. I do hope for a getting together of like minded people prepared to fight for this planet. Like so many people are already doing right now. I feel like i’m the last person to join this fight. Which is not true, of course. I’m in the middle part.

So yes, minimize your waste, try to work at a vegetable garden close by, and if there isn’t any close by, try to start one. Eat good food, with little already prepared meals. Eat less meat. Compost. Don’t buy clothes each month. Don’t buy much at all.

For me, i would like to travel a bit more. Get to know people trying to make things work right. Get to know other gardeners. I would like to have my own garden, grow my own vegetables and herbs. And some flowers too! I don’t know where. I have no idea.

For me, my future keeps shrinking. My life is becoming richer. For me, i feel happy now. Terribly happy. With everything that worries me, everything i think about, everything i know i should know about more, with all that, i feel happy. And sometimes sad, and sometimes mad, and sometimes angry.

So yes, war! Wake up all the sleepy people! Gather everybody! Make them all shout NO! Not any more! We love our planet! We love our earth! We love our animals! We love our plants!

This willful destruction of our plains and our woods and our oceans stops here!

And yes, i actually mean this. And i can say it here, on my website, with no shame at all. Yay!

war

Published on November 4, 2016 at 6:00 by

Before the flood

This morning i watched the documentary Before the Flood with main advocate and traveler Leonardo DiCaprio. Some bits i knew of, some bits i didn’t. I got angry by the burning down of rain forests in Indonesia to make palm oil plantations. And i got angry with most other subjects talked about in this movie.

The bit about the Koch Brothers stayed with me. Not an unknown name, not at all. I will read more about them.

I do not think though this movie will make a massive change in the people’s attitude towards the state of our planet. Life simply goes on, you work, you have vacations, you have sex, you laugh with your children, with your friends, with your family. Life doesn’t seem to change that much.

But of course it does. Each and every day it changes a bit, until you wake up and you suddenly live in a different world. And it is too late to do anything about it. It seems.

If you wish, you can watch this movie here, one and a half hour long.

Published on November 3, 2016 at 6:00 by

Robin Hood

I have been postponing making this clip for a few weeks. Not sure why. I did know the song quite soon. But then i couldn’t import the song in iMovie. Then, last week, i thought i should sing the song again, with the visuals at the same time. As i did my previous video songs. First i thought of me talking a bit beforehand, showing the lyrics i should have written. I don’t know this song completely out of my head. A bit, some parts, and yes, when i hear the song i can easily sing along with it. But a cappella? Nope.

So today i kept postponing it a bit more. This morning i played a bit of wow. A shower next. Then i did some work. Then i realized the light would be away a lot sooner, with wintertime ruling the waves. So blow dried my hair.

Yesterday, in the garden, John had found a selfie stick. I can really use it! So i asked for it. So this afternoon, i put my phone in it. It is a bit loose, but still. Not stretched all the way, just halfway. And i held it a bit angled, so it wouldn’t drop out. I started to sing. The lyrics on my iPad. That is what i look sideways at in the video.

And the first cut i liked. No, not my faint double chin. But i like the way i sing the song. The start and the finish, the red and white at the end.

So yes, here it is, Robin Hood!

I love this song.

Robin Hood
I’ve been longing too long a time
I dream of ending these dreams of mine
Of hope for love forevermore
And just to adore and be adored

The need for someone new now
I’m overawed

I’ve been wishing my life away
For Robin Hood to be king
One day we’ll share the treasures of the world
Oh yeah, when I will get the girl

A flag of blood and lipstick
Will be unfurled

All prophecy will fail
And by that light we’ll sail

I have closed my eyes and seen
Well, I’ve seen the end of the men of means
And so I want that thrill and then
You know I want that thrill again

To a life of hopes and hi there’s
I am condemned

I love in hope
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back

I love in hope
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)

I love in hope
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)

I love in hope
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)

Scritti Politti version

Published on November 1, 2016 at 6:00 by

Splitting Apart

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23. Po / Splitting Apart

The dark lines are about to mount upward and overthrow the last firm, light line by exerting a disintegrating influence on it. The inferior, dark forces overcome what is superior and strong, not by direct means, but by undermining it gradually and imperceptibly, so that it finally collapses.

The lines of the hexagram present the image of a house, the top line being the roof, and because the roof is being shattered the house collapses. The hexagram belongs to the ninth month (October-November). The yin power pushes up ever more powerfully and is about to supplant the yang power altogether.

THE JUDGMENT

SPLITTING APART. IT does not further one
To go anywhere.

This pictures a time when inferior people are pushing forward and are about to crowd out the few remaining strong and superior men. Under these circumstances, which are due to the time, it is not favorable for the superior man to undertake anything.

The right behavior in such adverse times is to be deduced from the images and their attributes. The lower trigram stands for the earth, whose attributes. The lower trigram stands for the earth, whose attributes are docility and devotion. The upper trigram stands for the mountain, whose attribute is stillness. This suggests that one should submit to the bad time and remain quiet. For it is a question not of man’s doing but of time conditions, which, according to the laws of heaven, show an alternation of increase and decrease, fullness and emptiness. It is impossible to counteract these conditions of the time. Hence it is not cowardice but wisdom to submit and avoid action.

THE IMAGE

The mountain rests on the earth:
The image of SPLITTING APART.
Thus those above can ensure their position
Only by giving generously to those below.

The mountain rests on the earth. When it is steep and narrow, lacking a broad base, it must topple over. Its position is strong only when it rises out of the earth broad and great, not proud and steep. So likewise those who rule rest on the broad foundation of the people. They too should be generous and benevolent, like the earth that carries all. Then they will make their position as secure as a mountain is in its tranquillity.

Six at the beginning means:
The leg of the bed is split.
Those who persevere are destroyed.
Misfortune.

Inferior people are on the rise and stealthily begin their destructive burrowing from below in order to undermine the place where the superior man rests. Those followers of the ruler who remain loyal are destroyed by slander and intrigue. The situation bodes disaster, yet there is nothing to do but wait.

Six in the fifth place means:
A shoal of fishes. Favor comes through the court ladies.
Everything acts to further.

Here, in immediate proximity to the strong, light-giving principle at the top, the nature of the dark force undergoes a change. It no longer opposes the strong principle by means of intrigues but submits to its guidance. Indeed, as the head of the other weak lines, it leads all of these to the strong line, just as a princess leads her maids-in-waiting like a shoal of fishes to her husband and thus gains his favor. Inasmuch as the lower element thus voluntarily places itself under the higher, it attains happiness and the higher also receives its due. Therefore all goes well.

42. I / Increase

The idea of increase is expressed in the fact that the strong lowest line of the upper trigram has sunk down and taken its place under the lower trigram. This conception also expresses the fundamental idea on which the Book of Changes is based. To rule truly is to serve.

A sacrifice of the higher element that produces an increase of the lower is called an out-and-out increase: it indicates the spirit that alone has power to help the world.

THE JUDGMENT

INCREASE. It furthers one
To undertake something.
It furthers one to cross the great water.

Sacrifice on the part of those above for the increase of those below fills the people with a sense of joy and gratitude that is extremely valuable for the flowering of the commonwealth. When people are thus devoted to their leaders, undertakings are possible, and even difficult and dangerous enterprises will succeed. Therefore in such times of progress and successful development it is necessary to work and make the best use of time. This time resembles that of the marriage of heaven and earth, when the earth partakes of the creative power of heaven, forming and bringing forth living beings. The time of INCREASE does not endure, therefore it must be utilized while it lasts.

THE IMAGE

Wind and thunder: the image of INCREASE.
Thus the superior man:
If he sees good, he imitates it;
If he has faults, he rids himself of them.

While observing how thunder and wind increase and strengthen each other, a man can not the way to self-increase and self-improvement. When he discovers good in others, he should imitate it and thus make everything on earth his own. If he perceives something bad in himself, let him rid himself of it. In this way he becomes free of evil. This ethical change represents the most important increase of personality.

Published on October 31, 2016 at 6:00 by