Saving the world
The past year i’ve spend mostly by myself. I did have some meetings with old friends. It wasn’t as lonely as it was the years before. The years i didn’t work on my own stuff, on lfs.nl and here on ellenpronk.com. The time before filled with the paid work i used to do, making websites.
Last friday i was on a Beertasting in Het Wilde Weten (The Wild Knowledge). I told somebody that i spend my last year on a sabbatical. I liked that word. Sabbatical. A good word for this past year. In which i started working again on lfs.nl, after eight years of silence. I made my final present, started up ellenpronk.com and set out blogging about my past, my old work, my old diaries. To end up here. Singing songs. Making video’s.
I started daydreaming again last year. About many different things. Saving the world! I did try to talk about it once. But it is hard. I see that more clearly now. I kept thinking about this post i wrote in April: My futures. This post was on my mind over the past few months. It’s also not that easy, to simply say you choose this or that future. Your future is embedded inside you, in the choices you have made, in the paths you have walked in your life. My life is singular. I tried connecting to other people, but mostly my relations with friends vanished over time. So i might be able to make a choice. I’m not bound to anyone, limiting me in what i pick. It does make me sad. But it is also liberating.
I was thinking about writing this post during the day. I was writing other things, forgotten already.
I’m gonna finish this post and will start listening to Rudolf Escher. With a glass of red wine. Cheers!