In the rain

At two today, Sunday 6 November, i was in the garden. It was raining. I emptied my compost bucket, talked with John for a short bit. I weeded for around fifteen minutes the side with the shrubs. Then Daniël came along. Coffee!

And i had some cookies with me. Oatmeal raisin cookies. A first try. Fine, but could be better. We cleaned up the greenhouse for a bit. Threw some stuff away. I wiped the boards. It got busier. Some were clearing the beans and corn rows, taking away the high rising bamboo structures the beans were growing unto. I went to the other garden to harvest some parsnips, together with Stephan. In the end we harvested the entire parsnip harvest. The rats were eating them. The ones not taking home will be put below sand.

I didn’t make any photo’s. I had intended to do so. Show you the work we have done on the shrub sides, weeded out and new shrubs planted to fill it up a bit more. But we worked hard, and it got dark quite soon. And it did rain intermittently.

I am tired now. My garden clothes are in the washing machine. Also the rain cape i wore today, which was still dirty from the last time i used it. The parsnips i took home are in a bowl with water. I will clean them properly later on this evening.

So for today, goodbye. Enjoy your Monday.

Salute!

Published on November 7, 2016 at 6:00 by

WAR!

The past months i experienced this extreme dislike of the entire expedition to Mars. Elon Musk, one of the main initiators said the following:

An asteroid or a super volcano could destroy us, and we face risks the dinosaurs never saw: an engineered virus, inadvertent creation of a micro black hole, catastrophic global warming or some as-yet-unknown technology could spell the end of us. Humankind evolved over millions of years, but in the last sixty years atomic weaponry created the potential to extinguish ourselves. Sooner or later, we must expand life beyond this green and blue ball—or go extinct.

I do understand this. An asteroid can always hit us. It hit the dinosaurs, and it wiped them out. Atomic weaponry can wipe us out, yes. Global warming can wipe us out, yes.

If we continue the way we do right now.

The odds are against us. We have a large written history of being selfish, greedy small people fighting to get the best out of life, no matter what. We have an even larger unwritten history with those exact same characteristics. Times of peace have been rare. Times of humans living in harmony with the world are rare.

There are many, many people fighting against this scenario. The people in the garden, the people i work with twice a week, are doing exactly that. One of them i called a warrior, one of the coordinators. Not a fighting knight, no, but still, fighting each day to make this world a little bit better. And there are many more people like that. In the Netherlands, in Europe, America, Asia and Australia.

I don’t know precisely who is at the other end. The Kochs is one family which my eye fell on. There are a few more of those: Here Are The Corporations And Right-Wing Funders Backing The Education Reform Movement. Dark Money, a book written by Jane Mayer:

Mayer believes that the Koch brothers and a small number of allied plutocrats have essentially hijacked American democracy, using their money not just to compete with their political adversaries, but to drown them out.

I don’t know enough about all the people in the world to pinpoint a certain group. I do think some people in this world don’t care about our earth, about the animals living here, the plants living here. But mostly it is people simply not thinking things through. People too busy with their own lives. And it is hard. Yes.

I am 52 years old. I have worked around 20 years, earned my own keep, paid for my own computer. And now i’m thinking. Thinking hard. Thinking about what we do, in this time. Thinking about where we are going to, where this world will lead us.

So yes, war.

Not a wild fight, not a massive battlefield with dead bodies. Not that, i hope. I do hope for a getting together of like minded people prepared to fight for this planet. Like so many people are already doing right now. I feel like i’m the last person to join this fight. Which is not true, of course. I’m in the middle part.

So yes, minimize your waste, try to work at a vegetable garden close by, and if there isn’t any close by, try to start one. Eat good food, with little already prepared meals. Eat less meat. Compost. Don’t buy clothes each month. Don’t buy much at all.

For me, i would like to travel a bit more. Get to know people trying to make things work right. Get to know other gardeners. I would like to have my own garden, grow my own vegetables and herbs. And some flowers too! I don’t know where. I have no idea.

For me, my future keeps shrinking. My life is becoming richer. For me, i feel happy now. Terribly happy. With everything that worries me, everything i think about, everything i know i should know about more, with all that, i feel happy. And sometimes sad, and sometimes mad, and sometimes angry.

So yes, war! Wake up all the sleepy people! Gather everybody! Make them all shout NO! Not any more! We love our planet! We love our earth! We love our animals! We love our plants!

This willful destruction of our plains and our woods and our oceans stops here!

And yes, i actually mean this. And i can say it here, on my website, with no shame at all. Yay!

war

Published on November 4, 2016 at 6:00 by

Before the flood

This morning i watched the documentary Before the Flood with main advocate and traveler Leonardo DiCaprio. Some bits i knew of, some bits i didn’t. I got angry by the burning down of rain forests in Indonesia to make palm oil plantations. And i got angry with most other subjects talked about in this movie.

The bit about the Koch Brothers stayed with me. Not an unknown name, not at all. I will read more about them.

I do not think though this movie will make a massive change in the people’s attitude towards the state of our planet. Life simply goes on, you work, you have vacations, you have sex, you laugh with your children, with your friends, with your family. Life doesn’t seem to change that much.

But of course it does. Each and every day it changes a bit, until you wake up and you suddenly live in a different world. And it is too late to do anything about it. It seems.

If you wish, you can watch this movie here, one and a half hour long.

Published on November 3, 2016 at 6:00 by

Robin Hood

I have been postponing making this clip for a few weeks. Not sure why. I did know the song quite soon. But then i couldn’t import the song in iMovie. Then, last week, i thought i should sing the song again, with the visuals at the same time. As i did my previous video songs. First i thought of me talking a bit beforehand, showing the lyrics i should have written. I don’t know this song completely out of my head. A bit, some parts, and yes, when i hear the song i can easily sing along with it. But a cappella? Nope.

So today i kept postponing it a bit more. This morning i played a bit of wow. A shower next. Then i did some work. Then i realized the light would be away a lot sooner, with wintertime ruling the waves. So blow dried my hair.

Yesterday, in the garden, John had found a selfie stick. I can really use it! So i asked for it. So this afternoon, i put my phone in it. It is a bit loose, but still. Not stretched all the way, just halfway. And i held it a bit angled, so it wouldn’t drop out. I started to sing. The lyrics on my iPad. That is what i look sideways at in the video.

And the first cut i liked. No, not my faint double chin. But i like the way i sing the song. The start and the finish, the red and white at the end.

So yes, here it is, Robin Hood!

I love this song.

Robin Hood
I’ve been longing too long a time
I dream of ending these dreams of mine
Of hope for love forevermore
And just to adore and be adored

The need for someone new now
I’m overawed

I’ve been wishing my life away
For Robin Hood to be king
One day we’ll share the treasures of the world
Oh yeah, when I will get the girl

A flag of blood and lipstick
Will be unfurled

All prophecy will fail
And by that light we’ll sail

I have closed my eyes and seen
Well, I’ve seen the end of the men of means
And so I want that thrill and then
You know I want that thrill again

To a life of hopes and hi there’s
I am condemned

I love in hope
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back

I love in hope
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)

I love in hope
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)

I love in hope
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)
I’ll never go back, never ever, ever go back
(Been longing too long a time)

Scritti Politti version

Published on November 1, 2016 at 6:00 by

Splitting Apart

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23. Po / Splitting Apart

The dark lines are about to mount upward and overthrow the last firm, light line by exerting a disintegrating influence on it. The inferior, dark forces overcome what is superior and strong, not by direct means, but by undermining it gradually and imperceptibly, so that it finally collapses.

The lines of the hexagram present the image of a house, the top line being the roof, and because the roof is being shattered the house collapses. The hexagram belongs to the ninth month (October-November). The yin power pushes up ever more powerfully and is about to supplant the yang power altogether.

THE JUDGMENT

SPLITTING APART. IT does not further one
To go anywhere.

This pictures a time when inferior people are pushing forward and are about to crowd out the few remaining strong and superior men. Under these circumstances, which are due to the time, it is not favorable for the superior man to undertake anything.

The right behavior in such adverse times is to be deduced from the images and their attributes. The lower trigram stands for the earth, whose attributes. The lower trigram stands for the earth, whose attributes are docility and devotion. The upper trigram stands for the mountain, whose attribute is stillness. This suggests that one should submit to the bad time and remain quiet. For it is a question not of man’s doing but of time conditions, which, according to the laws of heaven, show an alternation of increase and decrease, fullness and emptiness. It is impossible to counteract these conditions of the time. Hence it is not cowardice but wisdom to submit and avoid action.

THE IMAGE

The mountain rests on the earth:
The image of SPLITTING APART.
Thus those above can ensure their position
Only by giving generously to those below.

The mountain rests on the earth. When it is steep and narrow, lacking a broad base, it must topple over. Its position is strong only when it rises out of the earth broad and great, not proud and steep. So likewise those who rule rest on the broad foundation of the people. They too should be generous and benevolent, like the earth that carries all. Then they will make their position as secure as a mountain is in its tranquillity.

Six at the beginning means:
The leg of the bed is split.
Those who persevere are destroyed.
Misfortune.

Inferior people are on the rise and stealthily begin their destructive burrowing from below in order to undermine the place where the superior man rests. Those followers of the ruler who remain loyal are destroyed by slander and intrigue. The situation bodes disaster, yet there is nothing to do but wait.

Six in the fifth place means:
A shoal of fishes. Favor comes through the court ladies.
Everything acts to further.

Here, in immediate proximity to the strong, light-giving principle at the top, the nature of the dark force undergoes a change. It no longer opposes the strong principle by means of intrigues but submits to its guidance. Indeed, as the head of the other weak lines, it leads all of these to the strong line, just as a princess leads her maids-in-waiting like a shoal of fishes to her husband and thus gains his favor. Inasmuch as the lower element thus voluntarily places itself under the higher, it attains happiness and the higher also receives its due. Therefore all goes well.

42. I / Increase

The idea of increase is expressed in the fact that the strong lowest line of the upper trigram has sunk down and taken its place under the lower trigram. This conception also expresses the fundamental idea on which the Book of Changes is based. To rule truly is to serve.

A sacrifice of the higher element that produces an increase of the lower is called an out-and-out increase: it indicates the spirit that alone has power to help the world.

THE JUDGMENT

INCREASE. It furthers one
To undertake something.
It furthers one to cross the great water.

Sacrifice on the part of those above for the increase of those below fills the people with a sense of joy and gratitude that is extremely valuable for the flowering of the commonwealth. When people are thus devoted to their leaders, undertakings are possible, and even difficult and dangerous enterprises will succeed. Therefore in such times of progress and successful development it is necessary to work and make the best use of time. This time resembles that of the marriage of heaven and earth, when the earth partakes of the creative power of heaven, forming and bringing forth living beings. The time of INCREASE does not endure, therefore it must be utilized while it lasts.

THE IMAGE

Wind and thunder: the image of INCREASE.
Thus the superior man:
If he sees good, he imitates it;
If he has faults, he rids himself of them.

While observing how thunder and wind increase and strengthen each other, a man can not the way to self-increase and self-improvement. When he discovers good in others, he should imitate it and thus make everything on earth his own. If he perceives something bad in himself, let him rid himself of it. In this way he becomes free of evil. This ethical change represents the most important increase of personality.

Published on October 31, 2016 at 6:00 by

A full day

Today, Thursday 27 Ocotber, was the funeral of my aunt Tinie. It was crowded. I saw many of my family there, some after thirty years of not seeing them. I saw my nieces and nephews. It was good.

I walked there from the train station. Around 45 minutes walking. Through the living areas, past the busy streets, to the outside of the municipal where the graveyard is. I walked back a slightly different route.

A few weeks ago, i was at the funeral of my stepfather, Jan.

Sad. A sad day to say goodbye. But also a day of smiling and speaking to each other.

Goodbye tante Tinie. Goodbye Jan.

Published on October 28, 2016 at 6:00 by

My future

I just reread the post My futures.

My life has been very solitary so far. On the whole i didn’t mind that much. I enjoy my own company. But i would like to have friends. I would like to cook for more people. More people than just me. I would like to laugh a bit more. Talk some more.

I do listen to music a lot these days. I actually do sing along too. I like that. But it doesn’t fill the void.

I know the private life. I have lived it for the past thirty years. It’s difficult and hard work. There is peace and quiet. And loneliness.

So, if i have to make a choice, i’d rather choose a public life. It will be equally hard work, it will be equally difficult. But it is also filled with friends. I will not have complete freedom in choosing the things i do. But on the whole, i think i will be happier. A bit messier too. But that’s alright.

Ooh, in both scenario’s i will continue with ellenpronk.com. Of course. It’s what i do. I love this place. Truly.

I do still love this place, ellenpronk.com. I am not sure though, how long i will continue with it. I can envision a couple of possible scenario’s. It could be my life stays still. I can see myself having less updates then, but still regularly. Or it could be my life explodes. Then i see myself working here with five updates a week for quite some time. A couple of years at least.

I do think the choice is not entirely up to me.

Today i had this feeling of my life narrowing right now. Like i’m entering a rapid. My money issues are of course a part of that. Choices i make now seem to make a bigger impact on my life. And i know i want to continue the way i do. I know i’m not done yet. Nearly there, but the most important things i still need to make and post here.

This is not about me proving myself. This is not about me winning in any way. There is nothing to win, nothing to loose. But it is about me being truthful to myself, with all my heart. Doing the things i love to do, with all my heart.

Yesterday i saw the television program VPRO Boeken, VPRO Books with an interview with Jonathan Safran Foer. About living, making choices, being the person you are, being the person you want to be, being the person you can be.

These past two years i have grown. I still have the rest of my life to learn how to be in this world without it breaking me.

Salute!

inbetween

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55. Fêng / Abundance [Fullness]

Chên is movement; Li is flame, whose attribute is clarity. Clarity within, movement without-this produces greatness and abundance. The hexagram pictures a period of advanced civilization. However, the fact that development has reached a peak suggests that this extraordinary condition of abundance cannot be maintained permanently.

THE JUDGMENT

ABUNDANCE has success.
The king attains abundance.
Be not sad.
Be like the sun at midday.

It is not given to every mortal to bring about a time of outstanding greatness and abundance. Only a born ruler of men is able to do it, because his will is directed to what is great. Such a time of abundance is usually brief. Therefore a sage might well feel sad in view of the decline that must follow. But such sadness does not befit him. Only a man who is inwardly free of sorrow and care can lead in a time of abundance. He must be like the sun at midday, illuminating and gladdening everything under heaven.

THE IMAGE

Both thunder and lightning come:
The image of ABUNDANCE.
Thus the superior man decides lawsuits
And carries out punishments.

This hexagram has a certain connection with Shih Ho, BITING THROUGH (21), in which thunder and lightning similarly appear together, but in the reverse order. In BITING THROUGH, laws are laid down; here they are applied and enforced. Clarity [Li] within makes it possible to investigate the facts exactly, and shock [Chên] without ensures a strict and precise carrying out of punishments.

Nine at the beginning means:
When a man meets his destined ruler,
They can be together ten days,
And it is not a mistake.
Going meets with recognition.

To bring about a time of abundance, a union of clarity with energetic
movement is needed. Two individuals possessed of these two attributes are
suited to each other, and even if they spend an entire cycle of time together
during the period of abundance, it will not be too long, nor is it a mistake.
Therefore one may go forth, in order to make one’s influence felt; it will meet
with recognition.

62. Hsiao Kuo / Preponderance of the Small

While in the hexagram Ta Kuo, PREPONDERANCE OF THE GREAT (28), the strong lines preponderate and are within, inclosed between weak lines at the top and bottom, the present hexagram has weak lines preponderating, though here again they are on the outside, the strong lines being within. This indeed is the basis of the exceptional situation indicated by the hexagram. When strong lines are outside, we have the hexagram I, PROVIDING NOURISHMENT (27), or Chung Fu, INNER TRUTH, (61); neither represents and exceptional state. When strong elements within preponderate, they necessarily enforce their will. This creates struggle and exceptional conditions in general. But in the present hexagram it is the weak element that perforce must mediate with the outside world. If a man occupies a position of authority for which he is by nature really inadequate, extraordinary prudence is necessary.

THE JUDGMENT

PREPONDERANCE OF THE SMALL. Success.
Perseverance furthers.
Small things may be done; great things should not be done.
The flying bird brings the message:
It is not well to strive upward,
It is well to remain below.
Great good fortune.

Exceptional modesty and conscientiousness are sure to be rewarded with success; however, if a man is not to throw himself away, it is important that they should not become empty form and subservience but be combined always with a correct dignity in personal behavior. We must understand the demands of the time in order to find the necessary offset for its deficiencies and damages. In any event we must not count on great success, since the requisite strength is lacking. In this lies the importance of the message that one should not strive after lofty things but hold to lowly things.

The structure of the hexagram gives rise to the idea that this message is brought by a bird. In Ta Kuo, PREPONDERANCE OF THE GREAT (28), the four strong, heavy lines within, supported only by two weak lines without, give the image of a sagging ridgepole. Here the supporting weak lines are both outside and preponderant; this gives the image of a soaring bird. But a bird should not try to surpass itself and fly into the sun; it should descend to the earth, where its nest is. In this way it gives the message conveyed by the hexagram.

THE IMAGE

Thunder on the mountain:
The image of PREPONDERANCE OF THE SMALL.
Thus in his conduct the superior man gives preponderance to reverence.
In bereavement he gives preponderance to grief.
In his expenditures he gives preponderance to thrift.

Thunder on the mountain is different from thunder on the plain. In the mountains, thunder seems much nearer; outside the mountains, it is less audible than the thunder of an ordinary storm. Thus the superior man derives an imperative from this image: he must always fix his eyes more closely and more directly on duty than does the ordinary man, even though this might make his behavior seem petty to the outside world. He is exceptionally conscientious in his actions. In bereavement emotion means more to him than ceremoniousness. In all his personal expenditures he is extremely simple and unpretentious. In comparison with the man of the masses, all this makes him stand out as exceptional. But the essential significance of his attitude lies in the fact that in external matters he is on the side of the lowly.

Published on October 25, 2016 at 6:00 by