A post not made

The intention i had for today was to make a video about the few art pieces i have hanging in my house. Telling about how i got them, who made them.

I will still do that. Of course. But not today. I felt tired. I felt not like talking and telling you things about works i love.

So i could do a time out. Or I could do a short telling of today, an extension of yesterday’s post as it were. When the idea came up in my mind to throw the I Ching i thought no. No no no. I will not do that.

Or? Maybe i will..?

I’ll leave this open till the end of tonight. I might leave this post as it is. Not sure.

Whatever happens, enjoy your weekend! Even with rain, with the slightly colder weather, it still is wonderful working outside in the slow drizzle. OK, not in a pouring rain no. I will hide inside if it’s pouring. We’ll see!




24. Fu / Return (The Turning Point)

The idea of a turning point arises from the fact that after the dark lines have pushed all of the light lines upward and out of the hexagram, another light line enters the hexagram from below. The time of darkness is past. The winter solstice brings the victory of light. This hexagram is linked with the eleventh month, the month of the solstice (December-January).


RETURN. Success.
Going out and coming in without error.
Friends come without blame.
To and fro goes the way.
On the seventh day comes return.
It furthers one to have somewhere to go.

After a time of decay comes the turning point. The powerful light that has been banished returns. There is movement, but it is not brought about by force. The upper trigram K’un is characterized by devotion; thus the movement is natural, arising spontaneously. For this reason the transformation of the old becomes easy. The old is discarded and the new is introduced. Both measures accord with the time; therefore no harm results.
Societies of people sharing the same views are formed. But since these groups come together in full public knowledge and are in harmony with the time, all selfish separatist tendencies are excluded, and no mistake is made. The idea of RETURN is based on the course of nature. The movement is cyclic, and the course completes itself. Therefore it is not necessary to hasten anything artificially. Everything comes of itself at the appointed time. This is the meaning of heaven and earth.
All movements are accomplished in six stages, and the seventh brings return. Thus the winter solstice, with which the decline of the year begins, comes in the seventh month after the summer solstice; so too sunrise comes in the seventh double hour after sunset. Therefore seven is the number of the young light, and it arises when six, the number of the great darkness, is increased by one. In this way the state of rest gives place to movement.


Thunder within the earth:
Thus the kings of antiquity closed the passes
At the time of solstice.
Merchants and strangers did not go about,
And the ruler
Did not travel through the provinces.

The winter solstice has always been celebrated in China as the resting time of the year—a custom that survives in the time of rest observed at the new year. In winter the life energy, symbolized by thunder, the Arousing, is still underground. Movement is just at its beginning; therefore it must be strengthened by rest so that it will not be dissipated by being used prematurely. This principle, i.e., of allowing energy that is renewing itself to be reinforced by rest, applies to all similar situations. The return of health after illness, the return of understanding after an estrangement: everything must be treated tenderly and with care at the beginning, so that the return may lead to a flowering.

Nine at the beginning means:
Return from a short distance.
No need for remorse.
Great good fortune.

Slight digressions from the good cannot be avoided, but one must turn back in time, before going too far. This is especially important in the development of character; every faintly evil thought must be put aside immediately, before it goes too far and takes root in the mind. Then there is no cause for remorse, and all goes well.

Six in the third place means:
Repeated return. Danger. No blame.

There are people of a certain inner instability who feel a constant urge to reverse themselves. There is danger in continually deserting the good because of uncontrolled desires, then turning back to it again because of a better resolution. However, since this does not lead to habituation in evil, a general inclination to overcome the defect is not wholly excluded/

15. Ch’ien / Modesty

This hexagram is made up of the trigrams Kên, Keeping Still, mountain, and K’un. The mountain is the youngest son of the Creative, the representative of heaven and earth. It dispenses the blessings of heaven, the clouds and rain that gather round its summit, and thereafter shines forth radiant with heavenly light. This shows what modesty is and how it functions in great and strong men. K’un, the earth, stands above. Lowliness is a quality of the earth: this is the very reason why it appears in this hexagram as exalted, by being placed above the mountain. This shows how modesty functions in lowly, simple people: they are lifted up by it.


MODESTY creates success.
The superior man carries things through.

It is the law of heaven to make fullness empty and to make full what is modest; when the sun is at its zenith, it must, according to the law of heaven, turn toward its setting, and at its nadir it rises toward a new dawn. In obedience to the same law, the moon when it is full begins to wane, and when empty of light it waxes again. This heavenly law works itself out in the fates of men also. It is the law of earth to alter the full and to contribute to the modest. High mountains are worn down by the waters, and the valleys are filled up. It is the law of fate to undermine what is full and to prosper the modest. And men also hate fullness and love the modest.

The destinies of men are subject to immutable laws that must fulfill themselves. But man has it in his power to shape his fate, according as his behavior exposes him to the influence of benevolent or of destructive forces. When a man holds a high position and is nevertheless modest, he shines with the light of wisdom; if he is in a lowly position and is modest, he cannot be passed by. Thus the superior man can carry out his work to the end without boasting of what he has achieved.


Within the earth, a mountain:
The image of MODESTY.
Thus the superior man reduces that which is too much,
And augments that which is too little.
He weighs things and makes them equal.

The wealth of the earth in which a mountain is hidden is not visible to the eye, because the depths are offset by the height of the mountain. Thus high and low competent each other and the result is the plain. Here an effect that it took a long time to achieve, but that in the end seems easy of accomplishment and self-evident, is used as the image of modesty. The superior man does the same thing when he establishes order in the world; he equalizes the extremes that are the source of social discontent and thereby creates just and equable conditions.

Published on September 30, 2016 at 6:00 by

A walk

Today, Wednesday 28 September, i walked through the Kralingse Bos. First i walked past the allotments Nooitgedacht, Neverthought. Big gardens with a small little house at the end. Some people were there, some working, some talking, some lying in the sun. The gardens looked lovely. Most had a part of vegetables and a part of ornamental gardens. Flowers and pumkpins.




After this i went into the Kralingse Bos. I took a familiar route. The Verborgenlaantje, the Hidden Track. At the lake, a small inlet close to the restaurant, i sat down close to the water. I slowly laid down, my head staring up at the sky, shielded from the sun. Many thoughts ran through my mind, almost random. Thoughts of me talking with people i never met. Or only fleetingly. Thoughts of past talks i had with friends. Dream thoughts of events never happened. Also thoughts about myself, my future. Thoughts about work.

I did get some money back from the Dutch taxes, so that is what is keeping my afloat for the next month or so. I remember thinking about my talk with Soto at the garden. I do feel stable, straight. I do not see myself going homeless and getting lost. No.

I am wondering why things do take me this long.

I eat my apple. I stand up and start walking back home.

At home i lie on my couch for a while. Watching Escape to the Country. I think about my different attitude to formerly favourite tv shows. Like Expeditie Robinson. I do like the idea of this show, but the game in it i don’t like that much. I can not see myself ever joining a show like this. Also Masterchef Australia i watch, with that same feeling. It is all thought of as a tv show, with that needed tension between participants. Each and everyone going for its own advantage.

I still like The Great British Bake Off. In that show there is no direction competition between the contestants. It is all decided by the jury, Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood. So yes, this is still my favourite show right now. With the Dutch version a bit behind. I’m guessing Dutch cooks are just a bit worse than the British ones.

I watch De Wereld Draait Door.

Mars. People are mad. Crazy! Who on earth would want to go to Mars? And never come back? That barren red dusty planet? Crazy!


I had picked up some hazelnuts in the forest. I haven’t tasted them yet.


Some photos i took while lying down. The sky. The clear blue sky. Only a few clouds. Lovely.



My head is still full of thoughts. I still feel different each and every day. That is a good feeling. I feel myself growing.

I do feel myself letting go of fantasies. Even though i do know i needed them. To make me feel happy. To make me strive for something.

I feel myself looking at the world. At the news. The Clinton – Trump debate two nights ago. The Dutch prime minister Rutte. The Zero Waste Home talk on youtube. I should write a bit about that. I’ve been writing bits and pieces so far.

It is lovely weather still.

Hmm, the letting go of fantasies. A bit maybe? But at times i still have ’em. My life is getting busier, but i still have lots of time for myself. So yeah.

I wonder what will happen next.

Published on September 29, 2016 at 6:00 by

Once In a Lifetime

My way of singing one of the Talking Heads best songs. Enjoy!

Hopefully 🙂

Talking Heads – Once In A Lifetime
And you may find yourself
Living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself
In another part of the world
And you may find yourself
Behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house
With a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was

Water dissolving and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Under the water, carry the water
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again in the silent water
Under the rocks, and stones there is water underground

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? Am I wrong?
And you may say yourself, “My God! What have I done?”

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again in to the silent water
Under the rocks and stones, there is water underground

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Look where my hand was
Time isn’t holding up
Time isn’t after us
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was

Letting the days go by (same as it ever was)
Letting the days go by (same as it ever was)
Once in a lifetime
Letting the days go by
Letting the days go by

Published on September 28, 2016 at 6:00 by

Talking Heads

Number 3 on my Top 4 of Best Groups in the Entire World of All Time!

Talking Heads

I bought my first Talking Heads album in 1980: Remain in Light. Shortly after i bought the previous three albums: Talking Heads: 77, More Songs About Buildings and Food, Fear of Music.

One memory i have of listening to the Talking Heads was a time when i was alone in the house i grew up in. My parents were on vacation. I was standing in the kitchen and doing the dishes. In the kitchen there were two audio speakers hanging. The Talking Heads were playing. Up until this day i have these feelings of wet hands, dishes in the soapy water and the music of Talking Heads in my head.

Remain In Light up until today is my favourite album of the Talking Heads. I enjoyed their previous albums. Especially Fear of Music, but also songs from the first and the second album. Jonathan Lethem writes about his love for Fear of Music in his book called exactly that: Fear of Music.

“Life During Wartime” was all over the clubs. It sounded fantastic, and at 2, 3, maybe 4 in the morning, after a set at Danceteria, it was the perfect New York City record. It was the perfect New York City record no matter what club you were in. It had flashing lights and warning signs and the sound of gunfire mixed in with a lethal groove. That was New York City in 1979.

Over the next years i kept on buying the new albums coming out. Speaking in Tongues, 1983. Stop Making Sense, 1984, their live concert film directed by Jonathan Demme. This film starts with Psycho Killer, a song from their first album 77. It is this version i used for my a cappella version of Psycho Killer.

Little Creatures was released in 1985. I loved the cover of this album. I remember reading a review about this album, reading that the Talking Heads were sounding more and more normal, more and more mainstream. This was a collective effort of many then current bands.

I bought the next two albums of the Talking Heads, yes. But my big love of them was getting smaller. True Stories didn’t really hit me. I did like Naked, their 1988 release.

It got quiet after 1988. At December 1991 the dissolution of the Talking Heads was made official.

Over the years the Talking Heads played a background role in my world of music. Making my Mixtapes on Spotify made me think about them more. Listening to their music made me think about the meaning of it to me. I don’t like every single song, but yes, a lot of these songs have a special place to me.

One memory stands out. I was listening to Little Creatures, still living at home, upstairs in my own room, lying on the couch. I was looking at the plants above me, standing on the window sill. I suddenly had an eerie feeling that i could move something standing on there but not touching it. It scared me. I didn’t even try.

Of course, i would have failed. That is not what this memory is about. Later on i realized how i felt after i turned away. It was not my place to try something like this. I was not very interested in it, truthfully. I still am not. And this makes me feel very happy.


The next photos are of all the Talking Heads albums i have. These albums i bought between 1980 and 1988. I don’t have any singles or twelve inches. I also don’t have any cd’s.



















All 16 songs of Stop Making Sense in a youtube playlist

Published on September 27, 2016 at 6:00 by

Vlog #3 The shops

Since last year i wanted to do a post about the shops close by where i buy food and drinks. I started well with posts about the Meiden on the market and the wine shop Platenburg, after that i got quiet. I put on hold an interview i had with Mellegers. I had thoughts about the supermarkets i go to, but never put all this in a post.

Up until now! Vlogging about the shops close by seemed to me a most excellent use of the medium. The first shop, the Albert Heijn on the Goudse Rijweg, i was quiet. A bit shy. Yeah. But the next stop at the Gimsel i was already talking.

I went in a big circle around my house and filmed the fronts of all the shops i go to regularly. I even filmed around the market the next day. The Meiden were not there though. I still have plenty of veg from the garden, so it is ok anyway.

After the video a map with the locations of all the shops i go to regularly.

Published on September 23, 2016 at 6:00 by

Museum Voorlinden

Wednesday 21 September i went to the newly opened private Museum Voorlinden. It is situated in Wassenaar, near the dunes. Beforehand i thought of making a walk through the dunes, but the museum itself and the gardens surrounding it took up most of my time. So i’ll go back another day and do a bit more walking then.

I loved the Ellsworth Kelly exhibit. It was good walking through the rooms with the natural daylight and seeing his works. There was also a short video and two separate room with drawings. I spend most of my time being in these rooms. I went to the permanent works after this. Open Ended by Richard Serra, Skyspace from James Turrell, Couple under an Umbrella by Ron Mueck, Leandro Erlich’s Swimming Pool and Roni Horn huge rounded glass cilinders. I should really go back and look deeper at these works. Some of them were especially made for this museum.

I went outside and walked around the garden for a bit, before i sat down on a low man made height and ate my homemade peanutbutter and sambal sandwiches. I lied down for a while, enjoying the sunshine, the tweeting of all sorts of birds and the soft talking of people walking by.

I walked all around the museum after this, with my bare feet in the grass and my slippers in my hand.

Inside once more and i went to the other exhibition Full Moon. A more diverse exhibit with artists from various periods. I went through this a bit faster. I did enjoy some works. And i was surprised to see a Morandi hanging there, and old favourite artist.

I was full of the works i had seen, the lovely garden with all the flowers and the freshly mowed grass. I’ll be going back for sure.




















































Published on September 22, 2016 at 6:00 by

Left To My Own Devices

After yesterday’s post about the number 4 the Pet Shop Boys on my Top 4 List Of Best Groups Of All Time All Over The World, i will sing their song Left To My Own Devices. One of their best songs, lyrically.

A few words from Neil Tennant about the meaning of this track:

“This person goes through life always doing what he wanted to do. I liked the idea of writing a really up pop song about being left alone. This song is a day in the life of someone, so it starts off with getting out of bed and being on the phone and drinking tea and all the rest of it, and it ends up with coming home. By this time I was making the words very exaggerated and camp, though writing a book and going on stage were both things I had wanted to do when I was young.”

This song has been on my wishlist to sing for over a year. I did feel a bit hesitant. I still feel like that right now. But i do love this song. Even though most of the text is spoken, i do hope it comes out right. A bit.


Pet Shop Boys – Left To My Own Devices
I get out of bed at half past ten
Phone up a friend, who’s a party animal
Turn on the news and drink some tea
Maybe if you’re with me we’ll do some shopping

One day I’ll read, or learn to drive a car
If you pass the test, you can beat the rest
But I don’t like to compete, or talk street, street, street
I can pick up the best from the party animal

I could leave you, say goodbye
Or I could love you, if I try
And I could
And left to my own devices, I probably would
Left to my own devices, I probably would

Pick up a brochure about the sun
Learn to ignore what the photographer saw
I was always told that you should join a club
Stick with the gang, if you want to belong

I was a lonely boy, no strength, no joy
In a world of my own at the back of the garden
I didn’t want to compete, or play out on the street
For in a secret life I was a round head general

I could leave you, say goodbye
Or I could love you, if I try
And I could
And left to my own devices, I probably would
Left to my own devices, I probably would
Oh, I would

I was faced with a choice at a difficult age
Would I write a book? Or should I take to the stage?
But in the back of my head I heard distant feet
Che Guevara and Debussy to a disco beat

It’s not a crime when you look the way you do
The way I like to picture you
When I get home, it’s late at night
I pour a drink and watch the fight

Turn off the TV, look at a book
Pick up the phone, fix some food
Maybe I’ll sit up all night and day
Waiting for the minute I hear you say

I could leave you, say goodbye
Or I could love you, if I try
And I could
And left to my own devices, I probably would
Come on, baby, say goodbye
I could love you, if I try
And I could
And left to my own devices, I probably would
Left to my own devices, I probably would

Out of bed, at half past ten
The party animal phones a friend
Picks up news about the sun
And the working day has just begun

Sticks with the gang – at the back of the street
Pass the test – and don’t compete

Drive the car, if you’re with me
Che Guevara’s drinking tea
He reads about a new device
And takes to the stage in a secret life

(Aaaaaaaah… …ce)

Left to my own devices, I probably would
If I was left to my own devices, I possibly would

(Aaaaaaaah… …ce)

If I was left to my own devices, I probably would
Left to my own devices, I probably would

I could leave you, say goodbye
Or I could love you, if I try
And I could
And left to my own devices, I probably would
Left to my own devices, I probably would
Come on, baby
Left to my own devices, I probably would

Published on September 21, 2016 at 6:00 by

Pet Shop Boys

Over the next few weeks i’ll be doing my Top 4 of Best Groups in the Entire World of All Time!

Why a Top 4? Well, that is easy, those are the ones that are clear to me. I have many other favourite songs, favourite performers, favourite bands, favourite singer songwriters, but these are in a big jumble. In this group there are such greats as Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Prince, Beastie Boys, Madonna, Bjork.

But the top 4 are special. To me.

So i start with the lowest number, but still the first band who for a long period of time were my best. With songs, with songwriting, with packaging, with photography, with videos. My number 4 are the Pet Shop Boys.

I taped their first two albums around 1986 / 1987, from my neighbours living below me. They asked me to take care of their goldfish, which i did. I saw the Pet Shop Boys albums there and borrowed them.

The first album i bought was Introspective. I loved loved loved the packaging. It still is one of my ultimate favourite album sleeves. Left To my Own Devices is one of my favourite songs ever. The next album, Behaviour, was released in 1990. Being Boring has a great lyric and Bruce Weber made an excellent video with boys and girls enjoying each other. “I loved the lyrics”, he explained “and really felt it was something I wanted to be part of… in it there’s the feeling that times are different today, and the feeling of abandoness we can’t have today because of the way the world is”

Discography was the first proper CD i bought. I didn’t even have a CD-player then, but i wanted it. After their next cd, Very, it sort of stopped for me. I did buy most of their next CD’s, but to me, i’m sad to say, the magic left. Some songs i still enjoyed though. The song they wrote for Robbie Williams, No Regrets, i loved. But i admit i only listened to their new stuff once or twice, liking it a bit, but then simply forgot. I’m still happy they around and working though.

The singles i bought during my studies, when i needed to be extra careful with the money i spend. Most of these were one guilder purchases when they were out of the top 40.

One thing i alwasys liked about Neil Tennant was that he had worked for Smash Hits. I was a fan of this magazine for years, especially in the late 80s. I did look up while writing this piece, i didn’t even know they stopped existing in 2006! I got to remember this for another post, i still have piles of the old magazine in the bookcase staring at me.

I still love the old songs. A few newer ones, sure. But a song like Left To My Own Devices stands out to me. Tomorrow i’ll sing this song as the last song on my soundcloud.















Made by a friend of mine: Han Hoogerbrugge

Published on September 20, 2016 at 6:00 by