Nights of passion

She lays her head on the old pillow on her couch. She tries to read one of the books she got from her attic. Her eyes grow heavy. Her whole body starts to feel like it is floating in the air. Nothing keeps her tied to the ground anymore. It is becoming dark. A faint smile still floats on her face. The hand is still holding the book, slightly dropping, the open page softly turning so she couldn’t even read it even if she wanted to. The sounds of people working outside softly comes to her. The whimper of the steel shop carriers crawls to her ears. A soft talking comes to her of people walking below her window. The humming of the cars creates a backdrop which is almost unaudible. She drifts away into a endless darkness of quiet.

inbetween

Her eyes pop open. She looks around. She still feels the weight of her body, falling into sleep. She stretches her arm and gets her glasses, lying on the old hospital cupboard next to her couch. She fell asleep for only 15 minutes. Her mind starts to think. If she makes a pasta sauce now, she could have a little nap later on.
She stands up.
It is only a quarter to five. She opens the door to the hallway and walks into the kitchen. Let’s see. Some tomatoes. A pepper. A courgette. An onion. Garlic. That will do. She slices up all the vegetables. She adds some olive oil to the pan, turns on the fire beneath it and adds the onions and garlic. The sliced pepper. The courgette. The tomatoes. She turns down the gas till it is at it lowest level and puts on the cover of the pan. That’ll take like three quarters of an hour to make a nice sauce.

inbetween

She gets the book she was reading from the front room. She walks to her bedroom. She feels a bit aroused. She closes the curtains. She takes of her clothes and lies on the bed beneath a cotton sheet, wrapping it around her body. She starts to read. Her body slowly moves beneath the sheet. She feels the lovely throb inside her. Her eyes are following the words on the page in the darkness of the room suffused with the light coming through the chinks in the curtains. Her hand caresses her breasts. The soft velvety skin glides beneath her fingers. Her soft nipples slightly harden when her fingertips slowly moves over them. Her hand moves over her body, following the lines of the side from the top to below her waist. It slides over her behind and gently strokes its cheeks. Her fingers glide up her back towards her shoulder blades. With her nails making a faint impression, her fingers go down again and stroke the top of her butt crack. Her body keeps on moving slowly. Her hand goes over the top of her legs, feeling the muscles beneath the skin.
She lies the book beside her on the small chest.

inbetween

Only halfway she turns her body. The sheet she moves to below her breasts. Her fingers keep on stroking her nipples which become more erect. Her right hand thumb glides into her mouth. The smell of her hand simultaneously soothes and excites her. Her eyes are half open, looking upwards to the ceiling. A groan escapes her mouth. She can feel the moistness between her legs. Her right hands move over her belly towards the slight wetness between her legs. She puts her middle finger on the front bit and her body stretches out, her legs move apart. Her entire body lies completely naked in the darkness, moving in a languorous rhythm up and down. Her middle finger presses and releases her clitoris. The other fingers feel the lips of her pussy getting heavier. Her finger goes further down and spreads the moistness all around.
Her breath is getting heavier.

inbetween

Her body pulls itself from her bed and the movements of it are getting fiercer. Her finger glides from her vagina to her clit and back again. Her other finger is stroking her nipples. They are getting harder. Her thoughts are not under her control anymore. A flash of memory goes through her mind. A yearning for a man in her life disappears almost as fast as it came. She tries to think of her neighbours. She doesn’t want them to hear her moan, but the breathing does come harder. She can feel the tension building up inside her. There is no softness anymore, but a dedicated search for a release.
A deep throb inside her gives her a short time of pleasure. She feels the weight of her body, turns around and pulls the sheets around her. She still makes slight movements, but they are full of memories of the forgetfulness her body gave her for a short time. She closes her eyes for a while and enjoys the relaxation she feels.

inbetween

She stands up. She puts on her panties and her bra, the tank top and the sport pants she was wearing. She opens up the curtains and let the light in the room once more. She walks to the kitchen and checks the pasta sauce. Hmm, still like 15 minutes to go. She gets her book and reads on further in her front room.

tobecontinued

Published on June 29, 2015 at 6:00 by

Mieke and Muis

Today was a quiet day. I did do some work. Yes, i still have small jobs i do. Webdesign, front-end work. Nothing really big, but it is still good.

I did a short trip to the shops and got some cat food. I drank a cup of latte at the Coffee Company close to my home. I read the newspaper there, the NRC Next. I went to the doctor and made an appointment for tomorrow. I laid on my couch late in the afternoon. Almost fell asleep. Late in the afternoon i took a shower and washed my hair.

I know, i think i know what i’m gonna do for next monday. Tomorrow, friday, i will start. I do want to get it right. But, no more telling about that now, you’ll find out soon enough!

For today, i made some pictures of my cats. Mieke (pronounced as Meekuh) and Muis (this means Mouse, pronunciation is close to it, vowels are a bit different, not sure how to explain really). There were on the pad in front of the window. They still are right now! I do feel guilty sometimes, they cannot go outside. This house is all they know. They do go on the balcony when the door is open, they lie there in the sunshine in the morning. They are my treasures!

Gonna go and see what is on tv this evening. Enjoy your weekend!

Read more…

Published on June 26, 2015 at 6:00 by

My world map, phase 4

Tinkebell
tinkebellI do follow Tinkebell on twitter. I thought i did too on facebook, but i just looked at the page i liked at the last activity was in 2014. So it seems another page is the page where she is most active on. I just liked that one.
I do remember reading about the handbag she made of her cat in 2004. The book she made in 2009, with hate mail and death threats she had recieved over the years. The 2013 calendar she made for 2 girls living in the Philippines.
Now i read her posts on twitter. I sometimes click through and read columns she writes for the Dutch newspaper Trouw.
I do really admire her. She has guts. She stands for what she believes in. She fights for it. In the gleaming thirsty eyes of the media. Deep bow.

Jeffrey Zeldman
jeffreyzeldmanI bought his book Designing with Web Standards in 2003. It changed my professional life. The way i wanted to live it.
30 May his website was twenty years old. He wrote a post about being “creative“. Which i do agree with, wholeheartedly.

A List Apart was launched as a mailing list in 1997. The next year it turned into a website. It is still part of my rss feeds. It’s not that i read every article published, but some i do love. Salute!

Joris Luyendijk
Joris-LuyendijkJoris Luyendijk’s last book is a smash hit in the Netherlands, Dit kan niet waar zijn (This cannot be true). Basis of this book was his time spend in the London City and writing a blog with interviews with City bankers for the Guardian. I haven’t read any of his books yet, but i did follow his interviews about his last book. A good journalist. Chapeau!

Ewald Engelen
Ewald-EngelenEwald Engelen i noticed with his criticism on Europe, universities, TTIP, banks, economics among other things. He writes a column for the Groene Amsterdammer. He is not afraid to speak his mind. Most of his articles are in Dutch. On several issues he linked to on Facebook i got very upset. Quite mad actually. I still can. Bow.

Matthijs van Nieuwkerk
matthijsvannieuwkerkA television presenter of still one of my favourite shows on Dutch tv, De wereld draait door (The world keeps turning). It’s on 5 times a week during the season, from September till December, January till May. It is known for its fast talking presenter, short interviews with the current news worthy guests. I usually do check out if there are any interesting people or subjects in the show. My favourite thing to watch is the Top 2000 à Go-Go shown in December. Even though i do realise there is a hard formula behind the show, with many decisions made to keep people watching, i still do enjoy it. I do like van Nieuwkerk. He looks cute too. Too bad he is married. 🙂 Kudos!

David Foster Wallace
OUT932182When i started this map, i decided i wasn’t going to put in anybody who was dead. That excluded many many people. And then i thought of David Foster Wallace. I have his book Infinite Jest. I haven’t read it yet, but i’m pretty sure i will once during my life. Hoping, of course. I also have his book Everything and more. Still reading that one. But i’m afraid my reading these days doesn’t have the highest priority. Half of it goes beyond my understanding, but i still enjoy it. So after some thought, i decided to put in David Foster Wallace. Because of his commencement speeches. His interviews. His books. His sad death. Rest in peace.

“Because here’s something else that’s weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship—be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles—is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.”

Published on June 25, 2015 at 6:00 by

Teen books

I have a room in the attic. It is a place to store stuff. Four apartments have a room there. When i went to London, fifteen years ago, to live there for a while, i put a lot of boxes with all my stuff there. It was stacked. After like 7 months, when i got back, i left a few boxes there. I might have taken a quick look to see what was in there, and thought that i didn’t need any of it.

Well, for like once a week i’ve been going upstairs and looked around. I took down a box full of books. The books i read when i was like 8 till 14 years old. Some of them i was even older.

The past week i read some of the books in there again. Which gave me a lot of pleasure!

Yes, i first read the Bouquet series books. This series is still available. It was like… 30 years that i last read these? The earliest one i have is number 62, which was published in the Netherlands in 1976. I was twelve then. I admit, the first books in these series were rather prudish. It was kissing mostly, feeling excitement yes, but no sex until you were married! Which usually happened at the end of the book. The later books were a bit more free in that aspect. Some had real proper sex, yay! I definitely had my favourites. There is one i still remember, which i sadly don’t have anymore. I also liked some writes better than others. I still got little red ears while reading a few of these.

I also have a lot of series. Billie Bradley i enjoyed. I didn’t know the series was published from 1920 through 1932. I also have Anne-Marie, a Dutch series. Katy and Zaza are Dutch too. Zaza was the best!

I also have some other Dutch series: Merel, Isabel and Annemieke. Not sure which one of these i liked best. I did like these books, but i don’t think they were my favourites. Some single pocket books, a couple from Leni Saris. I’m readng these again right now. They are different from the Bouquet series, which are mainly about a man – woman development which goes to the ultimate end. These Dutch books do have more of a story in them. The one i’m reading now, the Wingerdrank ( in English it’s well.. wingerd rank), is about a girl who is a journalist whose parent betrayed friends in the second World Was. There is love in there too, of course. It is a romance.

I do know i had the Enid Blyton series too. I now have only a few single books of these series. I think i have given away some of these books. Silly me! I remember the Famous Five. Sometimes i see this as a series on television and i still watch it when i come across it.

In the box there are also some other books, some of them i don’t remember at all. Not sure how i got them.

Well, that is almost it. The pictures are next. Still not sure what to do with them. My bookcases are quite full, but hopefully i can find a proper place for them. It’s good to have these books back in my little house!

Also, after making this post, i will make another post about my books. Lots of sci-fi, fantasy, literature, young adult, art and philosophy. Reading is not a huge part of my life, i do have periods i read lots, but also periods i don’t read anything. Ooh.. and magazines! Pfff.. so much more to come! 🙂

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Published on June 23, 2015 at 6:00 by

Sometimes

Another song of my favourites list, Sometimes song by Britney Spears. I always liked this song and the corresponding clip. I made a present with Britney in 1999, the year this song was released as a single.

It is of course a very young and withholding song, about a shy girl expressing her reserved and mixed feelings towards the boy she apparently fancies. There is another interpretation that the song is about a former relationship. I can understand that feeling, especially when looking at the video, but from the lyrics i don’t get that idea. The lyrics do say ‘You’ll see that you’re the only one for me” and “If you love me, trust in me”. The refrain for me is the strongest in this song, “Sometimes i run”, “Sometimes i hide”, “Baby all i need is time”. I simply do love these words.

Of course to me, the “uh oh” after “I don’t wanna be so shy” is the selling point of this song.

Sometimes
You tell me, you’re in love with me
Like you can’t take your pretty eyes away from me
It’s not that I don’t want to stay
But every time you come too close, I move away
I wanna believe in everything that you say
‘Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There’s things about me, you just have to know

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby, all I need is time

I don’t wanna be so shy
Every time that I’m alone, I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You’ll see that you’re the only one for me
I wanna believe in everything that you say
‘Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There’s things about me, you just have to know

Sometimes I run
Sometimes, sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby, all I need is time

Come, just hang around and you’ll see
There’s nowhere I’d rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
All I really want is to hold you tight
Be with you day and night

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night

—–

I did find it hard to keep on singing this song in the same key. I sang along with the song several times to get it fixed in my head, but well, i don’t think i really made it. But i’m not entirely unsatisfied with it, so here it goes!

The videoclip

Published on June 22, 2015 at 6:00 by

A walk in Rotterdam: Rotterdam-West

A walk to Rotterdam-West. I love this area. It is the place i first got an apartment when i moved out of my home. The place where most of my friends used to live. The place with so many memories. It is nice to walk and see all the streets i’ve walked or biked into, where i knew people. Some people still do live there, or moved there. They went to the bigger streets and nicer houses. I do see many areas with new buildings, or old buildings cleaned up. I walked past Spangen, which used to be a creepy area with loads of houses closed. Now it’s back to its former glory, all shiny. Some parts are really feeling better. But yes, it does mean those parts have moved to other areas in Rotterdam, most in the south part below the river.

I made many photos along the way. I got me a new haring. A saoto soup. First i thought of walking to Schiedam, but i stopped at Marconiplein and got back with the tube.

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Published on June 19, 2015 at 6:00 by

My world map, phase 3

This map has been on my mind, the whole evening, night and day. I still miss some people. Actually, the most important people!

Beyoncé
She is fierce. Definitely. She also seems to be a hardworking dedicated person. I love Crazy in love. I actually made a present out of it. Just the text. She looks out of this world. She actually does seem to have it all. The career, the love, the child.

I remember reading about a meeting with Whitney Houston, who told them to, stay together. That didn’t happen. They might still be friends of course, but their paths in their careers have split. I don’t know why Whitney said this to them, how she meant it. But i did spend some time thinking about this.

I do hope Beyoncé keeps it going. She is the type of woman i could become jealous of! Well, not right now, but i could have in the past. Fortunately for me she is a bit outside of my main interests, so it never happened.

Joss Whedon
If i would decide the rating on my list of heroes with only my mind, Joss Whedon would be number one. I remember seeing the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the Rotterdam Filmfestival, probably in 1993. I liked it, as a lighthearted inbetween movie.

And then Buffy happened. I fell in love with the series. It was on a commercial net in the Netherlands. It was just wonderful. I also watched Angel. Not as good, but still fun with some great episodes. Firefly. Damn. I watched it with these 300 MB files, tiny. I still remember putting my couch in front of my computer and just feeling lost in the verse. It is still my favourite show. Dollhouse i sort of liked. Not the serial bits to be honest, but the part where it jumped into the future was a great twist. Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog i loved! As i did Cabin in the Woods. Much ado about nothing was a grat watch as well. Seeing all my fave actors in the house designed by Joss Whedon’s wife Kai Cole.

Then Joss Whedon exploded on the world. Whoah! Kaboom! The Avengers. I’m not a big comic book fan, but i did go to the cinema for the first Avengers movie. I did truly enjoy it.

I am curious about Whedon’s next steps. I know he has quit his Twitter account. He is taking some time of. I’m quietly waiting for it. Salute!

“You have, which is a rare thing, that ability and the responsibility to listen to the dissent in yourself, to at least give it the floor, because it is the key — not only to consciousness, but to real growth. To accept duality is to earn identity. And identity is something that you are constantly earning. It is not just who you are. It is a process that you must be active in.”
“So here’s the thing about changing the world. It turns out that’s not even the question, because you don’t have a choice. You are going to change the world, because that is actually what the world is. You do not pass through this life, it passes through you. You experience it, you interpret it, you act, and then it is different. That happens constantly. You are changing the world. You always have been, and now, it becomes real on a level that it hasn’t been before. And that’s why I’ve been talking only about you and the tension within you, because you are — not in a clichéd sense, but in a weirdly literal sense — the future.”

Green Gartside
I can’t resist. Joss Whedon should be my number 1! But he is not. Green Gartside is. And this site is about me, my choices. It was a bit of torture to try and find a decent picture of Green. With the right size. I think i managed. A bit. It’s big enough anyway.

There is Green’s acceptance speech for a honorary Doctorate at Goldsmiths in February 2015.

“I know of course that much of the work we all do is at times solitary and perhaps essentially so but there is something almost perverse in reading about the contingent, collective, contextual connectedness of all things and the social interrelatedness of power, knowledge and truth – when you are completely alone. And it will drive you mad.”

Ooh, in case you do not know, Green Gartside is the core member of Scritti Politti. Scritti has silences lasting longer than a popgroups entire career. The current one is a bit less silent than the previous ones. There was a best of Scritti collection in 2011, with two new songs. Some cooperations too. But the last album came out in 2006, White Bread Black Beer, nine years ago.

I am curious which path Green will take next. My soft spot is still with David Gamson‘s music. The man with a remarkable short wikipedia page. 🙂 But i don’t know anything about Scritti’s future, sorry to say.

Another youtube playlist, from Cupid & Psyche 85 days. This time there are clips visible whenever possible.

Pfff, man this page is hard work. I had real trouble with Green Gartside. There isn’t that much good material of him out there. I was happy with the acceptance speech! There are many interviews of course. But nothing that really got to me.

This is the third day i’m updating the world map. I’m sure there will be other days following, but from now on with longer times inbetween. Names did pop up in my mind, but for this update i wanted to limit the persons added. It was a bit of a tunnel i had to go through. I’m like, a bit confused now.

I’m gonna drink a cider and see if there is anything on tv. Hopefully i will sleep a bit more tonight than last night. Or the night before that. Or before that.

*sigh*

This moment it’s hard being Ellen, for sure.

Bye bye lovelies

*kiss*

Published on June 18, 2015 at 6:00 by

My world map, phase 2

This map is on my mind the whole day. So i figured, better get some more people on it.

Starting with people more in line with me. People i really admire, or am baffled about. Artists.

Jeff Koons. I’ve known his work since the late 80s. Part of my end thesis for art school was about him. I saw the big puppy made with all flowers in Germany in the early 90s. The one time i went to the Documenta in Kassel. I do really love the look of the balloon dogs. He is still weird.

I’ve seen documentaries by and about Ai Weiwei. Deep respect for this man living in a difficult country for an artist, who keeps on fighting not simply against every rule taking out, but for his believe in living true. Salute!

Gerhard Richter.

“One has to believe in what one is doing, one has to commit oneself inwardly, in order to do painting. Once obsessed, one ultimately carries it to the point of believing that one might change human beings through painting. But if one lacks this passionate commitment, there is nothing left to do. Then it is best to leave it alone. For basically painting is idiocy.”

Cindy Sherman. I’ve known her work from when she did her film stills in the 80s.It does bring back memories of when i was reading art critic articles. Which is like 20 25 years ago. I still do like her work. And what is that? She was David Byrne’s girlfriend? For some reason i always thought David Byrne was married. I’m like.. a bit stunned. He is back on my list of eligible man! 🙂

Marlene Dumas. Exquisite.

Chuck Close. Love his work. Saw an exhibit in London ten years ago or something. Wonderful.

Even though i left this world behind a long time ago, it is still close to my heart. There are many more artists, but i have also not paid much attention to all the artists coming up. Ai Weiwei is the only new one on my list.

David Bowie. I mean.. duh. I’m not an all out fan like some people i know. Who have had a crush on him since their teens. But i do love his music, his performances. His style.

“What I’ve Learned, I’m in awe of the universe, but I don’t necessarily believe there’s an intelligence or agent behind it. I do have a passion for the visual in religious rituals, though, even though they may be completely empty and bereft of substance. The incense is powerful and provocative, whether Buddhist or Catholic.

A deep bow.

Madonna. Where to start. The hits i still enjoy: Holiday, Like a virgin, Material girl, Open your heart, True blue, Like a prayer, Express yourself, Cherish, Vogue, Ray of light. I don’t really get into her latest stuff. With which i mean the stuff she made the last 15 years or so. 🙂 Quite the lady.

David Byrne. His name already was mentioned in this post. It’s mainly his Talking Heads days i know about. I did visit his website like, 10 years ago? Listened to a stream of music through it. I don’t even remember how. It was before Spotify. Could be just a mp3 stream. Anyways. He’s cool.

This is it for now. Enjoy your day!

Published on June 17, 2015 at 6:00 by

My world map

This is a phase 1. Today i spend a couple of hours working on this map. As you see in the above picture, vast areas haven’t been touched yet.

I started out with Barack Obama and Putin. They both still seem to me core people in the world’s events. But i also did add the Chinese president. Then the part closest to me, Europe. The three major political leaders, Merkel, Hollande and Cameron. I couldn’t leave out Rutte. He is Dutch. And Rompuy in the middle, as the European – hmm, not even sure what his function name is – aah.. President of the European Council. I also added the Greek prime minister Tsipras and the minister of finances Varoufakis. This week will be something, so they say, for the Greeks. I’m not sure about it. I’m not sure about the European Union in all honesty. I know it started out with good intentions, but to me it does seem to be growing out of proportion. But i also don’t know if there is a way back.

Then i went back the the States. I added the Clinton’s. Both yes. And the three Bushes, two former presidents and one supposedly running for it in the next election.

I did add Li Keqiang for China. To be honest, i don’t know much about Chinese politics and politicians. I do need to learn more!

The Dalai Lama. 🙂

George Clooney! He’s cute, smart, influential. I think. Matt Damon too. And Angelina Jolie.

I opened Time’s Top 100 list of Most Influential People.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. Kim is the biggest person on the entire map. As she is in the world.

Anita Sarkeesian! The gamer in me. I am subscribed to her youtube channel. I can still become angry at Gamergate. I simply couldn’t believe the toxic harassment coming out of it. Filthy!

Grrr 🙁

OK.

Amy Schumer. She is new to me. I like her. Lots.

Tim Cook. Satya Nadella.

Ooh.. Pope Francis! He seems a good guy. A pope.. geez.

The Saudi Arabian King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud. He was in the top 100 list. And Fidel Castro too.

The last one, Björk. I still love her music. And her dresses. And her make-up. Basically, almost everything about her. I know i haven’t followed her that much over the past ten fifteen years. But still, i do love her.

So, this is phase 1. I’ll keep adding more people. I have no scientist in there at all. I don’t know where this picture will end up, maybe it will be all covered with people! In Photoshop i am so careful! I have folders of the continents, and the pictures are made freestanding by making a mask. And each layer has the name of the person. I like that.

OK, i am going to watch the final episode of Game of Thrones season five now.

Enjoy your tuesday! Or whatever day your on 🙂

PS. Kim Jong Un is on North Korea too. Sorry, forgot about him.

Published on June 16, 2015 at 6:00 by