Music-Hall, a anthology of works from Paul van Ostaijen. I bought this book 3 June 1978.
Today, King’s Day here in the Netherlands, i was thinking about my post for tomorrow. I really loved bumping into Lucebert’s poem yesterday. So i was thinking of making a post about him. It’s just, i don’t have a history with Lucebert. Apart from the line alles van waarde is weerloos. So my mind jumped to one other person i know. This book i have for a very long time. His poem Polonaise is used in a book from Tonke Dragt, Torenhoog en mijlenbreed (High as a tower and miles wide).
Paul van Ostaijen is a Belgian poet and writer. He died young, when he was 32 years old. Polonaise and Marc groet ‘s morgens de dingen are the main poems i know. I’ve read more, but these two have stuck to me.
Enjoy 🙂
Polonaise
Ik zag Cecilia komen
op een zomernacht
twee oren om te horen
twee ogen om te zien
twee handen om te grijpen
en verre vingers tien
Ik zag Cecilia komen
op een zomernacht
aan haar rechterhand is Hansje
aan haar linkerhand is Grietje
Hansje heeft een rozekransje
Grietje een vergeet-mij-nietje
de menseëter heeft ze niet gegeten
ik heb ze niet vergeten
ei ei ik en gij
de ezel speelt schalmei
voor Hansje en voor Grietje
Hansje met zijn rozekransje
Grietje met haar vergeet-mij-nietje
zijn langs de sterren gegaan
Venus is van koper
de andere zijn goedkoper
de andere zijn van blik
en van safraan
is Janneke-maan
Twee oren om te oren
twee ogen om te zien
Twee handen in het lege
en verre vingers tien
Polonaise – Gerard Kockelmans (1925-1965)
Another poem i really like.
Marc groet 's morgens de dingen
Dag ventje met de fiets op de vaas met de bloem
ploem ploem
dag stoel naast de tafel
dag brood op de tafel
dag visserke-vis met de pijp
en
dag visserke-vis met de pet
pet en pijp
van het visserke-vis
goeiendag
Daa-ag vis
dag lieve vis
dag klein visselijn mijn
I’m not interested in the wealth of all the people in the world and its distribution. Not for this post anyway. No, it is the worth of the world. What would it cost to buy the world.
The worth of the world must be a trillion times a trillion times a trillion, and so on, and so on. Infinite.
I did do a search for this amount, but it is hard to find a thoughtful answer.
What is the total net worth of the world?
If we were to just simply add up the net worth in today’s US dollars of everyone/entities on the planet, what would the number be? Also, is this number a meaningless one not worth calculating? Is there a better way to approach this?
1 Answer
Anand Subbiah, eNgInEeR 501 Views
It may be hard to calculate the asset to bring the value in whole number .As we have natural resources by the time we sit and calculated total value of natural resources, man made assets the market fluctuations may change the value .
$80 Trillion is simply the gross world product. This number is a rough estimate of the lowest amount of the worth of the world.
Next, i looked into the list of the wealthiest people in the world: The World’s Billionaires. Below is a copy of the list of 2016 Billionaires.
No.
Name
Net worth (USD)
Age
Nationality
Source(s) of wealth
1
Gates, Bill
$75.0 billion
60
United States
Microsoft
2
Ortega, Amancio
$67.0 billion
79
Spain
Inditex
3
Buffett, Warren
$60.8 billion
85
United States
Berkshire Hathaway
4
Slim, Carlos
$50.0 billion
76
Mexico
Telmex, Grupo Carso
5
Bezos, Jeff
$45.2 billion
52
United States
Amazon.com
6
Zuckerberg, Mark
$44.6 billion
31
United States
Facebook
7
Ellison, Larry
$43.6 billion
71
United States
Oracle Corporation
8
Bloomberg, Michael
$40.0 billion
74
United States
Bloomberg L.P.
9
Koch, Charles
$39.6 billion
80
United States
Koch Industries
9
Koch, David
$39.6 billion
75
United States
Koch Industries
10
Bettencourt, Liliane
$36.1 billion
93
France
L’Oreal
I compared this with the list of wealthiest Dutch people.
World ranking
Name
Citizenship
Net worth (USD)
Sources of wealth
107
Charlene de Carvalho-Heineken
Netherlands
11.6 billion
Heineken
405
Frits Goldschmeding
Netherlands
4.1 billion
Randstad Holding
847
Hans Melchers
Netherlands
2.2 billion
HAL Investments
894
Wim Van Der Leegte
Netherlands
2.1 billion
VDL Groep
1054
John de Mol
Netherlands
1.8 billion
Endemol, Talpa, SBS Broadcasting Group
1190
Joop van den Ende
Netherlands
1.6 billion
Endemol
1250
Kommer Damen
Netherlands
1.5 billion
Damen Group
1250
Ralph Sonnenberg
Netherlands
1.5 billion
Hunter Douglas
1638
Carolus Nolet, Sr.
Netherlands
1.1 billion
Ketel One
I started with looking for the wealth of the Orange-Nassau family, the Dutch royal family. This is estimated to around 1.1 billion, in 2004. Old money.
Still, i am no closer to the answer to my question: what is the worth of the world?
I did this search in Dutch. I searched for the terms waarde (worth) en wereld (world).
An islamic blogpost turned up: Worth of the worldly life. I did read this page. Quickly i admit. Too quick to say anything meaningful about this.
Another result pointed to Lucebert. A line from one of his poems, de zeer oude zingt. That line was put on top of an insurance company, next to the art academy i went to.
Alles van waarde is weerloos
The adjective “weerloos” can mean “defenseless”, “helpless”, or “naked”, so the meaning is “All things of value are defenseless/helpless/naked”.
De zeer oude zingt
er is niet meer bij weinig
noch is er minder
nog is onzeker wat er was
wat wordt wordt willoos
eerst als het is is het ernst
het herinnert zich heilloos
en blijft ijlings
alles van waarde is weerloos
wordt van aanraakbaarheid rijk
en aan alles gelijk
als het hart van de tijd
als het hart van de tijd
The very old one sings
there is not more in little
nor is there less
still is uncertain what was
what is to be will be will-less
first when it is it is serious
fruitless it recollects itself
and stays in great haste
all things of value are defenceless
grow rich from touchability
and equal to everything
Last words of today
A rambling post. My apologies. To me there is some sense in all this.
Too many thoughts run in my mind.
Thinking back of a few months ago, when i came across of a current art school student. She was building and rebuilding a circle for half a day. Against the ownership of all the land in the world, everything divided neatly into countries. At the time i felt it was a good thought, but impossible to make a reality in any way in this world as it is today.
I got out around a quarter past nine. Well, i did get out earlier, around seven thirty, gave my cats a bit of food, went to the toilet and went back in bed. I did check my rss feeds for around 15 minutes. Then i turned over.
So when i got out, i cleaned the catty litter box, brushed around the box to get it clean, gave my cats some new water. I put on an egg with water to softly boil. Went behind the computer. Hmm… not sure, i could have sat behind my computer first. Well, i forgot! But i know i did sit behind the computer and posted on facebook about my post about the Vredestuin. After i reread the post and corrected a few things.
The water for my egg boiled. I turn it of and set the timer on my phone. Four minutes. I slice the remaining pieces of bread. Yes. Some butter, some pepper, some salt. Breakfast!
Some vanilla world of warcraft. Two quests done. Some cooking. A bit of blacksmithing. My paladin did turn 31 today!
Shopping. Got me some honey, peanut butter, two croissants, yoghurt, cottage cheese. Also some cream for coffee, noodle soup, cat food, toilet paper.
When i got back home i did do some work. Updating some wordpress, some plugins. Adding a twitter plugin, setting the customer key. Done.
Turning on the television. Escape to the Country. Yeah. I love this show. 🙂
Around five i turned on the oven. Using a very simple recipe from James Martin. Only flour, salt, bicarbonate, buttermilk. No honey, no butter, no eggs. I did add a few more drops of the buttermilk, it got very dry.
Phonecall about the work i just did. Went well.
Bread and soup for dinner. The parsnips i put in cold water, they got a bit dry. I’ll cook them tomorrow.
Watched some De wereld draait door. Nothing too exciting. Nothing much i want to know. Koken met van Boven. Chickpeas! Hmm, that farinata looks great. I should go and get me some chickpea flour and make one. With the hummus, the fried chickpeas and the spinach. And some feta. Oooh……..
And in the meantime i’m thinking about what to do for this post. So i go sit behind the computer, write something on facebook. Started this post. Look for the title of Koken met van Boven.
OK, done. A longer post than i anticipated. And now, i think i’m gonna watch some Masterchef. And then.. Game of Thrones, S06E01. Yay!
PS. Pfff, Game of Thrones fell through. Will watch it some time this tuesday.
A week ago i walked home from the Central Station. Passing the garden, i saw some people working. I leaned on the railing and watched for a while. One of the guys working waved at me. I decided to go down and talk for a bit.
It turned out the garden is connected to the Gandhigarden. The last time i went there is over a year ago. Some people from the Peace Garden also work at the Gandhi. The Peace Garden has a more open layout and is very close to the centre of the city. The Hofplein, the Coolsingel, the Weena are all very close to this park, along the side of the train.
Last Friday i went there for the first time. I helped out planting seeds. I took home some spinach, lettuce and parsnips. This evening i cooked the spinach, boiled some potatoes and had some cottage cheese. Good.
Today, Sunday, it was a lot colder. I arrived there around a two fifteen. Some people were walking around and looking at the plants. They turned out to be German visitors. We talked a bit and i explained what the purpose is of the garden, that it is a communal garden and yes, freely accessible.
Today i had some vegetable waste with me for the compost heap. Lat Friday i was told paper waste is good: egg boxes, toilet paper inner rolls and such. Egg shells are good too. When i went to the compost box to turn it in, i got a bit of a shock by the rat running around in the heap and desperately trying to find a way out. I walked back to the small sitting area, where three other people were sitting. We all had stare at the rat. I was sorry to see him so scared. We did try to get him out, but he dived under the compost. Later on another person arrived. He wasn’t surprised by it.
It was cold. Or as i called it, fresh. But still, around three, three thirty we were working weeding the place. I had already given the seedlings a bit of water. I got a bit of explanation about the different sort of weeds there are: some bad, some good, some very bad. I took out a couple of weeds.
I’ll be going there more. I do like to learn more about gardening, the weeds, where to plant different vegetables. I had seen a layout on paper with names of the vegetables on them last Friday. I do know you need to switch them around. But i have no idea what vegetable uses what nutrient, what vegetables go well together. I wouldn’t know where to start if i had my own garden. Well.. ok… that is not right. I would start with herbs and some vegetables i really enjoy. I would start slow.
But, this year i will plant some herbs on my one square meter balcony. Once the railing is on there. I don’t think i have talked about this: my balcony is closed because there is work being done to it. The railing is gone and we will get new ones soon. I hope.
Some photos of the Vredestuin. It is still early in the year. But left over from last year some leeks, parsnips. Also lettuce, chard to be harvested. Newly planted are around 3 rows of potatoes. Many onions. There are also some wild garlic plants in the garden. One guy showed me them. He gave me a leaf to eat. It tasted great!
Purple Rain
I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted to one time to see you laughing
I only wanted to see you
Laughing in the purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only wanted to see you
Bathing in the purple rain
I never wanted to be your weekend lover
I only wanted to be some kind of friend
Baby, I could never steal you from another
It’s such a shame our friendship had to end
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only wanted to see you
Underneath the purple rain
Honey, I know, I know
I know times are changing
It’s time we all reach out
For something new, that means you too
You say you want a leader
But you can’t seem to make up your mind
I think you better close it
And let me guide you to the purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
If you know what I’m singing about up here
C’mon, raise your hand
Purple rain, purple rain
I only want to see you
Only want to see you
In the purple rain
Purple Rain
Cream
I Wanna Be Your Lover – 01/30/82 – Capitol Theatre
Prince Purple Rain Live 1983 at First Avenue in Minneapolis
Yesterday was a fruitful day, to say the least. I started with the gems over the weekend, went into the Dutch royal family and touched on official portraits. There is a Dutch word for this: staatsieportret.
Een staatsieportret is een plechtig portret van een persoon in functie, vaak een hoogwaardigheidsbekleder (maar niet noodzakelijk) en vaak met bijbehorende tekenen van die macht en waardigheid.
Staatsie is waarschijnlijk een versmelting van het aan het Frans ontleende stage (‘verhoging’), en staat in de betekenis ‘vertoon’, ‘praal’, ‘pracht’, ‘luister’.[1]
Staatsieportretten kunnen worden geschilderd, getekend of gefotografeerd; de persoon die wordt afgebeeld neemt hiervoor een houding aan die gezag uitstraalt of door symboliek tot uitdrukking brengt, bijvoorbeeld met regalia, eretekens of triumphalia.
I was surprised that there isn’t a proper English translation for this Dutch word. Portret is Dutch for the English word portrait, obviously. Staatsie has more different meanings. One is the French word stage which means about the same as the English word: elevation. It also denotes grandure, magnificence, splendour, state, present. The closest i could find in the dictionary is official portrait. This is not a proper translation. It’s a combination of two words, a lot more general than the Dutch staatsieportret.
I searched. Starting with the Dutch ones: the Queens Wilhelmina, Juliana, Beatrix and Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima. The photo at the top of this post is from Rineke Dijkstra, a photographer who became known by her Beach Portraits (1992). This photo is very severe. There is a hint of sdness in Willem Alexander’s face. His clothes do point at the Dutch flag: red, white and blue.
Queen Elizabeth II, Obama, Clinton, Putin and Mao close of this list. The Mao picture is extremely forceful and very recognizable. It is noticeable that no man smiles and some women do smile. I don’t like the smiles. These portraits are tokens of state. A smile doesn’t seem in the right place there.
Queen Wilhelmina. With a tiara, necklace, brooch,
Queen Juliana, fully robed in the official Kingsmantle, with the Dutch crown, orb and sceptre
Queen Beatrix, also wearing the Kingsmantle
King Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima. The king wears the Kingsmantle. Queen Maxima wears a dress designed by Jan Taminiau.
Queen Elizabeth II photographed by Cecil Beaton with the Kingsmantle, crown, sceptre and orb.
Barack Obama
Michelle Obama
Bill Clinton painting
Vladimir Putin. I did search for other photographs. This image has such a presence though.
Mao. Extremely basic. His shirt, grey and closed on top. The hair slightly wider towards the sides with a receding hairline. His face full, looking calmly towards you.
Last week i read something about a pink diamond being auctioned for the most expensive price for a jewel ever. To be honest, i couldn’t find the piece again. I did find articles about one sold in 2013, 13 November.
I have no intimate knowledge of gems and their cuts. Or jewels rather. I never really payed any attention. But over the past few weeks i’ve been doing some searches for expensive and rare gems and jewels.
I do suspect that the most expensive jewelry is in the royal collections of the UK, the Netherlands, the old Russia Romanov family, the Iranian Royal Jewels, Asian royals, and many many more.
For now, i want to focus on jewelry actually being sold. Some jewels are focused on a single gem, others use a multitude of gems in a composition.
Wallis Simpson Panther Bracelet – $12.4 Million. A Cartier created bracelet in the form of a panther. The panther's body is composed of diamonds and onyx. Two specially cut emeralds make its eyes.
Emerald and Diamond Tiara – $12.7 Million. In weight alone, the eleven rare Columbian pear-shaped emeralds come in at 500 carats.
Graff Vivid Yellow – $16.3 Million. A 100 carat yellow diamond mounted in gold with diamonds on the band.
The Blue Belle of Asia – $17.3 Million. A cushion shaped sapphire weighing in a little over 392.5 carats. A diamond covered gold neckchain and tassels make the necklace.
The Hutton-Mdivani Jadeite Necklace – $27.4 million. The necklace is composed of 27 emerald green jadeite beads. The finishing touch is provided by a ruby, diamond, platinum and gold clasp to secure the necklace around the wearer’s neck.
L’Incomparable Diamond Necklace – $55 Million. The L’Incomparable Diamond Necklace is the most valuable necklace in the world and features the world’s largest internally flawless diamond, the 407.48-carat Incomparable diamond. Complementing the massive yellow diamond are 230 carats worth of smaller diamonds.
The Pink Star - $72 Million. The gem is a pink diamond of 59.60 carat. It was mined in 1999 in South Africa.
Last week i bought dried chickpeas and tahini at the supermarket. It is hummus time! Tahini is a made from sesame seeds. I know, i could make this myself as well, but man, i just want the hummus. So i bought it. The chickpeas i bought dry. A new thing for me. I usually buy chickpeas in a tin, already cooked. But it is a lot cheaper to cook the chickpeas yourself.
Ingredients hummus
200g chickpeas
1 lemon
2 garlic cloves, or 1 big one
salt
100ml tahini
4 tbsp water or cooking liquid from the chickpeas
1 tsp paprika
After soaking and cooking the chickpeas most work was done. Well, apart from skinning the chickpeas. When i got the chickpeas out of the cooking liquid, i rubbed them with some kitchen paper. The white transparent skins do come off rather easily. Most were removed by the rubbing, some i had to squeeze out. Since they were well cooked, they usually just slipped out. A few more rubbings and removing of the skins later and they were all clean and tidy in the small food processor.
I added one big garlic clove, the juice of one lemon, three serving spoons of tahini, one teaspoon of salt and paprika. I blended this for around a minute or two. After that i added two serving spoons of the cooking liquid. I blended a minute more.
I tasted the hummus. The tahini came through great. I like the taste of the sesame seeds. I realized then i had forgotten the olive oil. But it was fine, i will add the olive oil when i serve it together with the pita bread.
Pita bread i usually buy. Today i thought about what i will be eating. I still have the roasted vegetables in the fridge, but they can stay good until tomorrow. I was planning on making the hummus this week anyway, so then my mind turned to pita bread. I do have all the ingredients in house to make, so why not. First i planned to make half a recipe, but then i read that you can keep the dough in the fridge for about a week.
Preparing the dough is a basic bread recipe. Add the yeast to the water and let it rest for five minutes. Weigh the flour and add the salt. After the five minutes add the flour to the water, add the oil and mix it all together. Take the dough out of the bowl, use some extra flour and knead for around 7-10 minutes. I always have some music on, so that is around three to four songs. Clean the bowl, add a bit of oil, then the dough and set it at a warm space and leave it for an hour or two.
I made the hummus in the meantime and let that rest until dinner time.
Around fifteen minutes before the rising is finished, turn on your oven to around 230ÂşC. Make sure to heat up a large baking sheet in the oven. You will need the heat. You may also use a cooking pan (read about that on the kitchn website). When the rising is done, get the dough out of the bowl and slightly deflate it. Now is the time to put the part you won’t be using yet in the fridge. I put in two thirds. From the other third i made three small balls and rolled them out with a bit of flour beneath them. You need to bake the breads for around three minutes.
Since this was my first time making the pita bread, only two puffed up. In the recipe it says that if this happens the oven or skillet is not hot enough. It also says you can still eat them, especially in pieces with hummus. Since this was exactly my recipe, i didn’t bother that much. The taste was good anyway.
I did eat two pita breads and enough hummus to dip each bit in. A bit of oil and some flat parsley added. I kept one pita to have an hour later with an avocado. Half.
I remember this song, I’m Not In Love. Written by Eric Stewart and Graham Gouldman from 10cc. I was eleven years old. I thought Eric Stewart was cute. The song was dreamy. Otherworldly. I never bought the single.
10cc is not a favourite band of mine. I remember Wall Street Shuffle better. But i did add I’m Not In Love to my MIX tapes on Spotify like six years ago. Only this month i added Wall Street Shuffle to it as well.
I did watch the BBC documentary this afternoon, linked at the end of this post. So yeah, i know a lot more! The division, apparent from the start: Stewart and Gouldman on the pop side, Godley and Creme on the art side. They had a few years of working together happily.
This song has grown on me over the years. I love the voices layered over each other and making the music. Wonderful song.
Enjoy!
I’m Not In Love – 10CC
I’m not in love, so don’t forget it
It’s just a silly phase I’m going through
And just because I call you up
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think you’ve got it made
I’m not in love, no-no
(It’s because)
I like to see you, but then again
That doesn’t mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don’t make a fuss
Don’t tell your friends about the two of us
I’m not in love, no-no
(It’s because)
Be quiet, big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that’s lyin’ there
So don’t you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn’t mean that much to me
I’m not in love, no-no
(It’s because)
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time
I’m not in love, so don’t forget it
It’s just a silly phase I’m going through
And just because I call you up
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think you’ve got it made, ooh
I’m not in love
I’m not in love
A clip from the 70s
A Toppop recording, my favourite Dutch music show in the 70s No idea who the other people in this clip are, why they are there. Weird.
It is hard to write an introduction for pages which do not exist yet. Usually these pages of a book are written last, when the contents of the book are known. It is the place where the reader is given an clue of what to expect, the place where acknowledgements are made. Only rarely do i read those pages thoroughly myself. I skip to the contents, the index and the bibliography. You might wanna do the same thing, so i can indulge myself here a little further.
It is hard to write an introduction to pages which do not yet exist. I did set out some guidelines for myself though. I will try to think of these pages as a public diary, a sketchbook. This will give me some freedom, not everything i do needs to be ‘perfect’ and ‘planned’. Ofcourse this is only to help myself, i am a terrible control freak, often prone to a paralysing doubt about what i do and its value. I actually thought i had given up my work for good; i had found a nice job where i feel happy enough, but quite suddenly i felt the need to rethink my old work, which i made when i was at artschool (’86-’91). The idea of combining my old work and the internet breathed new life in it. For a couple of months i was thinking about this new work. The main reason i would like this to be a sketchbook is that i realise i have to start making things. Its been quite some time since i’ve really worked and i know i have to go through the first disasters before i can come up with some quality – i hope. The internet is a nice fluid medium, where pages can appear and disappear in no time.
I am not sure how these pages will develop, i don’t know how frequent the updates will be. It might be less than i anticipate at this moment. Maybe, when you read this somewhere in the future, you will know more than i do now. Maybe than, where there is nothing now, there will be something for you to discover.
This text was published on 1 July 1997 on www.luna.nl/~ellen. In 1999 i moved my website to lfs.nl.
Looking back on my time spend working on lfs.nl, calling it a sketchbook was a good thing. Liberating. I could take breaks, days or weeks long. I could do anything i wanted.
I remember thinking that i would end it, someday. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know when. When i stopped, in 2006, i knew it wasn’t ended yet. The present i made in 2009, To do’s, was an impossible present in which i tried to get back to work. It failed.
In 2014 i simply started again. Making canvas presents. Writing. Making photos. Like i had never stopped. And then, in January 2015, i got the idea of making an about page.
Then the thought came up: this will be the last present.
I knew it. The moment i thought that, i knew it.
It took me a week to write the about page. The perfect ending. Not that what i wrote was all wisdom, hell no. But it fitted the sketchbook idea. It fitted with me, at that time. I had no idea what i was going to do next.
I didn’t know that in two weeks time i would start a blog. On ellenpronk.com. A domain i had registered years before. For which i had made several designs, none worked out. A domain i used for my work. Several subdomains of work for clients. Now, in two weeks, i had made a design and worked out the theme, started with a Blank WordPress Theme.
I knew i would post five updates a week. I loved making the Beauty posts, Food, Rotterdam. In summer i added a few more categories: My story, Songs. And finally Video Clips.
These clips are special to me. I loved how they came from my walks outside. I loved choosing the music for them.
In 1991 i finished art school. My final work were my selfportraits with the text Feel Me Fuck Me Free Me.
I really had no idea why i had made this. I remember having a halfway exhibition at art school with much more modest photos and texts. Comments from other people got me to try to be bolder and more in your face.
In the years after this i had a small assignment, an exhibition in Breda at Lokaal 01. But it wasn’t working. Not for me. I didn’t know what my work was about, why i made it. I was throwing things in the dark.
So when i found the chance to get a job, at a printer, i took it. One weekend of thinking about this and yes, i went for it. At least i was earning my own keep. And learning things. Living regularly, working with other people. We made a cd for Christmas one year, which was great. All songs written by colleagues. All instruments played by colleagues. Wonderful.
After five years i was done with it. I simply couldn’t continue. I stopped. I gave a great party, the Party of a Millennium. And i started a much more quiet job at a small design firm in Rotterdam.
Nine months after that i went to London. I actually got a job through my website. Which was a dream coming true. Well, i hoped it would be. The company went bust after around 6 months. But it also didn’t go that well. There was hardly any work. I was let go before the others. They extended my trial period. I did worry about that a bit. And yes, after two weeks i had the talk. Bye bye.
I got some small jobs in London. After a year or two i was back at the design company in Rotterdam.
I felt i had failed, to be honest.
I had only stopped making things for a couple of years. In 1997 i started making things for online. I didn’t call it art. I was simply enjoying myself. Flash was my first great discovery. I loved it! April 2000 i made Dream, which generated many visitors and responses.
I’m not sure why i stopped making presents in 2006. I had been going on for nine years. I could have stopped it then. I didn’t. I felt empty. No ideas were coming up. I had this to do list in 2009. Some of these to do’s i haven’t even done now. Five years of silence followed.
So here i am, on 14 April 2016.
This website, this blog, i love. The past year, five days a week, i made a post. I publish each post at 6:00 in the morning. This means i do most of the work the day before. I like it. It gives me a bit of time to think, a bit of time to reread, a bit of time to let it settle down. Not all posts are equally good. Like this week, View is a weak one. But that is fine.
So what do i want?
I could go back to work. It is not that bad. I make enough money that way.
But that is not what i want.
I love the walks. Around Rotterdam, on the beach, through the park. I love the talks with people i do not know. I love the smiles, the saying hello.
Right now my life is bare. A lot of time for myself. A lot of time to waste.
Then, exactly a year ago, i picked a public life. In my life since then nothing much has changed. Well, a few things have. I don’t have my old drawings anymore. That i actually gave them away is a big thing for me.
I still pick a public life. It is not that i want to become famous. That is more a byproduct. I want to meet people, talk with them, look at them, listen to them. I actually would love to travel a bit more. So far that has been low on my wish list. But i would love to see the world, get to know it a bit better. And talk about that here, on ellenpronk.com. As i already do now, but on a smaller scale.
I feel i am getting ready. A bit more. Not that i am perfectly quiet and still and prepared. It is more that i am less afraid. More curious. It is like, i was never that interested in the outside world before. I was just happy doing my own thing. I can still be like that. But i am more aware of what is going on outside. I’m not always right, but i do like to think and look and speak.
So is this art?
Most of the things i make can not be sold. Most of the things i make can not be owned by a single person. Some could be, i guess, but i will not sell them. So i do have to find a way to make a living, to earn money.