The leaf buds on the trees are slowly opening up. Some trees have flowers first. The almond trees in the Peace Garden. Cherry blossom. Magnolia. Some of them are already out of blossom. A light wash of green covers most trees right now. A bit of white or pink of upcoming flowers. Some trees are still bare.
I do my utmost best to remain tranquil. Right now i feel calm. Peaceful. But at the edge of my consciousness is anxiousness. Sometimes it comes to the front. Usually at night, before i fall asleep. And i feel the beating of my heart. Almost pounding. I do believe in myself though. With all my heart.
It can be so easy to let it go, to conform myself to the most common way of living. Safety first. Insurance of course. But my life is getting less far-sighted.
I do worry sometimes. I am trying to break that unsettling habit. I don’t want to look ahead in my life and see what will be occupying me then. To be honest, i don’t think that is possible. Our looking ahead simply projects our life into the future, but many accidents and changes occur during our life’s progress we are not aware of.
The COVID pandemic from the last two years, the Russian – Ukrainian war going on right now and all the changes that brings along with it show that life is unpredictable to the core.
Where will i be in three weeks time? I don’t know.
Truth be told i do not know.