Time and again
Time has grown into the most common way to divide the space given to you in this world. This is private time. That is time you spend on a job. This is time to cook your food. That is time you spend sleeping. This time you get paid for. That time you get not paid for.
Once a child is born into a family, that child becomes the clock that determines the spend time. Over time this child gets pushed mostly by school in the clock time we have all grown accustomed to. You pee, poop, eat and sleep by the determined laws of time.
This is not wrong. We all need to grow up and get into this shared time space. We humans have developed ways to measure time for thousands of years. The sun, the moon, the stars, nature surrounding us were all used for this. Now we use atomic clocks to measure the seconds ticking away. It is basically all the same.
In English the words time, person and year are the three most used nouns. A year is defined as a period of time, set by a single full rotation of Earth around the Sun. A person is an individual: man, woman or child. These three words set out the primary boundaries of our world.
Right now i am looking outside, looking at the trees standing out there, the sun shining on them. It is quiet. Time moves on. All the time.
I don’t know what my future will bring. I hope it will be something, i don’t want to be a derelict wreck heaped on the outside of humanity. I do think i need to solve something here, for myself. Solve a mystery. I don’t know if i will be able to do that. But I do need to let go of dreams i have of my life. They are so tempting. Wishing myself away. The last thing i want to do.