Last week i saw Marli Huijer’s reading about the loss of rhythm in the corona lockdown time. For the first time it became clear to me the great loss in social and interpersonal relationships these lockdowns have caused. The daily, weekly and yearly rhythms we are accustomed to were diminished. Holidays were no longer an usual part of our routines. Public holidays like Christmas and Eastern were less celebrated with fewer people present.
For me this was less the case. For the past seven years i have been working on this website, ellenpronk.com with a very strict rhythm: five updates a week, each published six o’clock in the morning, five weeks of holidays a year. This rhythm has kept me sane over the past years. This rhythm made it possible for me to live my life as i was used to. I still made walks, lockdown wasn’t as severe as in other countries where you needed to stay home the whole day.
I am partly living outside the commonplace working life rhythm most adult people have here in western Europe. I don’t have a house anymore, i don’t have a job, i don’t have a regular income. I am not sure what the future entails.
But why would i need to be sure? Why not live my life as free as i can? Why worry so much about money? I do worry, i know that. It is very hard to get away from that worry. Sometimes i succeed, but it does come back.
Each life lived here on this earth needs a steady rhythm to feel healthy. Day after night, week after week, the moons growing fuller and lesser, the seasons turning into each other.
I do feel happy in my life. I hopefully can make a difference in this world. Fingers crossed.