Older

I am getting older.

Of course everybody is getting older. It is a fact of life. Time flows in one direction only. Going forward, all the time. I know i am approaching the end of the plateau phase of life. The phase in which nothing much seems to change.

I try to look good. As good as possible. Within the limitations i set for myself. Hardly any make-up. No botox. No cosmetic operations. No fillers. But yes, i do use the Ordinary serums. I do want to use a retinoid soon. I do try to loose a bit more weight. I do think i look alright. For being 56 years old.

But it is not the most important thing in the world. I know that. Your smile, the way you look at people, your openness, your interest in other people, all that is so much more important than the way you look.

Young people have a joy in their faces, in their eyes. Intoxicating. A thirst for the experience of living, an exuberance in experiencing life as it presents itself to you. A freshness of attitude.

Most young people have this anyway. I’m sad for the young people who do not feel like this.

I have been shy. Not knowing what to say. Quiet. Withdrawn. But also happy with myself. Content in living my life as it came. Happy to draw.

I had to learn to pay more attention to the people around me. This didn’t come naturally to me. Now i enjoy watching people. Saying hello, good day, good afternoon when i pass someone on the streets. I enjoy that.

Right now i live in a young family’s house. The sunshine in the house: a toddler girl of sixteen months old. So bright, happy, energetic. Not always, of course. But still, a smile to brighten your day.

The Julia Roberts smile from Pretty Woman was on my mind after a talk i had yesterday with my landlady. The Kylie Jenner images i posted yesterday were posted with the same thoughts. I look with a critical eye, but i also want to keep seeing the innocence in an image or movie. No matter what the thoughts are in the minds of the people making these images.

Published on October 14, 2020 at 6:00 by

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