But i do dream, i do fall in love at times, i do feel aroused at times. The last time was last weekend, and it confused me. Terribly. I felt pretty sure this wasn’t going to be anything serious, but it sure felt like that for two days. It did hit me quite full on. Too confused to think this through, i could only feel my body react.
So yes, there were a couple of hours in which i simply felt overtaken by desire. Wham.
It is not what i wish for myself. Still difficult to get through.
It has become less over the past 24 hours. Today i added some elements to my drawing. I started designing a booklet about vegetables and dishes from the garden. I listened to some music. I played a bit of wow and stardew valley. I stared out of the window and looked at the trees with their leaves moving in the slight wind.
I hope i am managing. I hope i can finish my drawing in a couple of weeks. I hope i can keep myself on the right track. Or rather, my own track.
I do feel a bit sad leaving this behind me. But that is also a delusion. It is all in my own head. Walk on!