Happiness

Earlier this week i got an idea for today’s post: health. I was thinking about my personal history with my diabetes. How i first not thought about it that much. Simply took the medicine. I did drink a bit less, no longer a bottle of wine each day. I did loose some weight, around ten to fifteen kilos. This morning, thinking about this period nine years ago, i suddenly felt tears in my eyes.

I never thought about this time as being unhappy. I knew i wasn’t terribly happy, but no, not very unhappy. Now i realize i was exactly that. Unhappy. Terribly. Feeling so unhappy with my life. Nothing i imagined had come true. I worked and played warcraft. That was it.

At that time i didn’t think about this. I didn’t feel it. I didn’t cry. I just went on. And on.

Now, i am in a much more precarious position. But i am happy! Finally. I enjoy my life. I don’t even feel that much fear about the future. I am curious, excited even. I don’t know what will happen, but i want to find out. I trust myself. I am strong. Stronger than ever before.

So yes, today i feel a bit off. I feel heavy. But this is all old pain i am feeling. And it will pass.

Enjoy your weekend! Salute!