No idea

I have dreams. Many dreams. Most are about someone out there who will fall in love with me. And i will fall in love with him. And we live on very happy together. Somewhere. Maybe even here in Rotterdam. In a house with a garden. My own garden. Rather big of course. And i will make it work. With a compost heap, rain falling in a water butt, a lovely smelling rose garden, a vegetable plot, herbs growing close to the kitchen. And we will have many people coming by and i will cook lovely food and bake cakes. And we will talk about the world and the companies and how things could be improved. And sometimes we go out and travel and visit the Oscars where i will wear this beautiful white and yellow and golden dress and i will go on television and do my best and listen to the people and try to make sense of it all and answer their questions as good as i can. And i will meet politicians and scientists and business people and talk with them about the world and which way we are heading and maybe we can prevent terrible things from happening.

Dreams.

I am still here, living in Rotterdam. I do bake cakes. I do work in the gardens around me, close to my home. Where i am allowed to keep on living for the next year and a half.

I don’t know what will happen. To me. To this world. Nobody knows what will happen.

Dreams. Dreams about another life, somewhere glorious.

But my life already is wonderful. I already do feel happy. With all the little things. The people living around me. Ordinary people i chat with. Or simply say good morning to in passing. I love living. I don’t worry.

Yes, i am working on my next videoclip. Filming people passing by, little children playing in the center with water features, older people sitting on a bench and feeding birds. I love it. Sitting outside in the center of the city and looking out and smiling and filming and trying to see a few thing in a new way.

I am not sure what will happen to me. I hope someday i will be so busy i do not have time to dream. That my life is so filled up with things to do i am happy to come home and relax a bit. And yes, that someday i will fall in love. I hope that will happen. But that is still hidden in the future. I don’t know what will happen.

I have changed myself. Changed the way i feel, changed the way i look out at the world. I have grown happier.

Happy. Here. Right now.