Tuesday morning i got the idea for this post. The thought popped up. I can fail. Easily.
I don’t know why i have my head full of success. Why i do not think of missing my target. I don’t. I do realize that thinking about ways in which i could fail would actually harm me, harm my feeling of security, of certainty. I have said it in conversations; failing is not an option. Success can have many different shapes though. It can range from small to large. From recognition from friends to a global viral success. I don’t know which i want. I shouldn’t think about this too much really. Simply work and make something i like myself, first of all.
I do know when i want to publish the spring movie. Friday 15 June. A month from now. Straight after i will take a break for two weeks from working on ellenpronk.com. There is a wedding in the garden on Saturday 23 June. I will bake eight cakes for that day. A wedding party in Zeeland afterwards. Really looking forward to this day.
I am completely happy with the turns i took in my life. The past three years i have grown more happy and more at ease with myself. Money is an issue of course. The house where i live too. But i still have plenty to live on and one year and eights months i can live here. I hope my life after that will reveal itself to me in the next year.
So no, i don’t see myself fail. I am living my own life, made my own choices. Away from the daily lives of the people around me. I can not see that far into the future. I have hopes. High hopes, sure. But nothing is certain. Nothing is certain for anyone really. We don’t know what will happen in a few minutes. A few days. A few years. Nobody does. Predictions are worth nothing.
I hope you are having a lovely day, whenever you are reading this. Salute!