When i was at art school, making self portraits was a custom assignment. I had one in the first year. I made many many drawings then. None of them really looked like me. But i didn’t mind, that much anyway.
I did a year of painting and graphics. I got a zero for painting, so that was it. I wasn’t that troubled really. I remember when i got back at school i still had to sign up for another subject. I chose monumental and photography. Monumental was a part of free arts 3D, it had more to do with making installations and stuff.
So i got an assignment for photography to make a self portrait. And i kept on making self portraits. Till they finally transfered to monumental, where i started to make posters with text and pictures of me. That ended up in my final work for school.
I wasn’t sure at the time why i made this self portraits. I know i enjoyed looking at them, but i don’t remember only seeing a pretty girl. They were all of them very different. Some series were better than others. Some of them i didn’t like at all. But, they were all part of a learning process.
I still don’t know why i made so many photos of myself. But i like it that i have them. Today i made pictures of all of them. One i had scanned in, like 17 years ago. That is the the one at the top of this post. It is one of my favourites.
They did get to me today. I got fierce. Almost angry. I still am a bit. I realized i love this pictures. All of them. I love the series. I love all the different emotions on my face. In another post i will post some of the choices i made then, the ones i printed bigger. I see other choices now. I do think i see them in a different way now. With a bit more distance.
![contactsheets3](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets3.jpg)
The first one is a very early one. Not really self portraits, but photos of me working in my house. The second one has photo's of a tv screen at the top (Kylie!) and some dancing photos of myself at the bottom.
![contactsheets4](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets4.jpg)
The left one has one of my all time faves in them, the very
first picture. I do love the way i look, so very serious. The one on the right has a couple of pictures of me sitting in my front room.
![contactsheets5](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets5.jpg)
A few photos of me sitting, some dancing photos. The one on the right has photos of me posing. Also some pictures of friends.
![contactsheets6](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets6.jpg)
On the left a straight forward series of head shots. The one on the right has a more diverse section, different viewpoints, different cuts. This could be the series i made for the self portrait assignment. Not sure though.
![contactsheets7](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets7.jpg)
The one on the left is one of my favourites series. The last one on the third row is very strong. I also picked the fourth one on the fourth row. The one on the right is also a favourite. I do like the photos at the top two rows.
![contactsheets12](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets12.jpg)
The one on the left seems a very early one. I like the photos at the bottom. My kitchen 🙂 The one on the left is very dark, i don't think i used any of these photos.
![contactsheets1](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets1.jpg)
Both of these i made in the studio at school, with a small set of photography lights. I used 25 ASA negatives, which is very fine grained. The one on the left i don't like that much. The one on the left has a couple of nice photos, but still not my fave. It is hard to get the same feeling in a studio. I remember closing the end of, people were walking in and out of the dark rooms all the time. That was very distracting.
![contactsheets2](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets2.jpg)
The one on the left, also made in the studio. Not a fave. The one on the right i think i made at home. Immediately you see the big difference. Some nice photos in there. Yes nice.
![contactsheets8](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets8.jpg)
These two are my favourites. The one on the left was a studio session, with a dark background. The lighting works good. One of these pictures i used for my end project. The one on the right is made at home.The right most one with a green square around it is one of my faves.
![contactsheets9](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets9.jpg)
Really, i didn't like any of these two. I did do something with coloured lighting, but it's just not right.
![contactsheets10](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets10.jpg)
The ones on the left are ones i made at home. Most likely in the winter. The one on the right is made in the studio. Naah.
![contactsheets11](http://ellenpronk.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/contactsheets11.jpg)
I do like the one on the left. I don't think i used any of these pictures though. And the one on the right i like too. Made at home. Some nice ones in here.
It is harder for me to make these kind of photos now. I am older now, have a bit more weight on me. It shows. But some photos i still like, like the one on the about page. I also don’t mind the photos i made for the beauty section. They do show my age yes, but that is only natural. Beauty is for the young ones. I do hope i’ve grown up since then, learned a bit more patience and consideration for other people. I always enjoyed being by myself, working, reading, listening to music. What my life is right now. Not sure what the future will bring. Let’s just see.