More about sex

Reading about love and sex is something i do enjoy doing. I don’t search for it, but i got a few places i like to go to and read.

I don’t watch porn. I have seen some porn movies, most when i was organizing Sexposition in 1992, a exhibit about sex and art i organized together with a friend. I know i can be turned on by porn, but there is something about most porn movies i do not really enjoy.

In my post about my personal sex life i did say i was more aroused the last 6 months or so. That is still true. I even find that i am aroused by women. Especially large women, with large soft boobies and a large belly and voluptuousness all around. It’s not that i act out these feelings, i’m not sure if doing something with it will be as arousing as fantasizing about it. But i’ve witnessed myself staring at the television when there was an attractive big woman on it, with fantasies running through my mind.

And yesterday, when i saw a ad in my inbox with a girl on it who seemed so skinny. It was horrible – honestly i was repulsed. Which does remind me of my own post yesterday, where i spoke about my own weight. Of course the dancing clip wasn’t me at my best. Not at all! I know i can look better. I know i do weigh a bit too much, but over the past year i have lost about 10 kilos, and they didn’t come back! So i should be really happy with that.

So you might think i’m lesbian. I do find women attractive, but i have only fallen in love with men. So i think not. It’s just my thoughts and fantasies are running around with me over the past months. Women, men, orgies, people watching me. The past eight nine years i wasn’t into sex at all. It simply didn’t exist in my life. Sometimes i did try to masturbate, but it wasn’t that much fun. So this change is a bit perplexing. I’m not sure where these fantasies come from. But i do think fantasies is exactly what they are. In the end, i’m still extremely romantic. Terribly! Desperately!

I do hope i can handle that feeling a bit more. I know now i couldn’t when i was younger. It was probably one of the main reasons boys said no to me.

I’m careful. I’m not after sex alone. I still would like to fall in love. One day.

So, in the meantime, i do read more about love and sex. The Salon love and sex stories i check out once a week or so. I don’t read every story, but this past week my eye did fall on the Reddit post “Vaginas are more like pennies”: Virgins have questions about sex, Reddit has answers. This post lists some of the questions with some of the answers. It’s also quite positive about the thread and the earnestness with which people try to answer the questions.

“how do you kiss properly / not suck at kissing?”

“you don’t have to stick your tongue in your partner’s mouth immediately. Basically, start with just lips, then move to gently licking their lips. If your partner is still receptive, then continue to full tongue. Once tongues are in full play, remember the point it not to lick the other person’s tonsils. … On the technical side, remember to breath through your nose. It’s oddly easy to forget to breath during a good kiss.”

So i went to the Reddit page [Serious] Virgins of Reddit, what questions do you have about sex that you’ve always wanted to ask but were too embarrassed to?.

Oops, i got sidetracked by this post on female masturbation.

Anyway, back to the Reddit page. Reading through it:

Honesty I’m just curious what a woman’s breasts/etc are actually like…
Warm, soft, squishier than a stress ball but kind of also like a bag of jelly or water. The nipple is what really separates the breasts. Some are like pencil erasers, some don’t really stick out until they get aroused. Boobs are fun.

What does a women “taste like”.
Wet salty penny

Not a virgin, just not that experienced. As a woman, I never know what do with girl-on-top. Do I just move up and down? How do I position my legs? How do I move my hips?
You can do all sorts of fun stuff when you’re on top. You can lean forward and move in a manner that rubs your clit on his pubic mound area, you can sit straight up and go up and down, lean back, go slow, go fast, there are tons of ways to do it. Just play around and have fun, you’ll get the hang of it. Good luck: )

I’ve seen a lot of back/forward up/down comments, but personally I like mixing both. Make clear circles. Up and forward, down and back, like the drive shaft on a steam engine. Do it slow and sensual and it’ll melt him. Just make sure you don’t pull too far up/forward because if his penis slips out you’ve lost the rhythm.
I also find the circular motion more comfortable and easier to maintain for longer.
I think that in general, whichever one of you is in charge of movement, you should try and give it that extra dimension. Not just in/out, up/down. Move more and you’ll feel so much more.

Lights on or off
Yes! both! neither! Personally, I like seeing what I’m doing most of the time. Off is nice sometimes too.
TL;DR: Whatever makes you comfortable.

How the hell does it even happen? Do you both just decide to do it, or is at one thing leads to another thing?
Hormones. Hormones happen.

Am I supposed to say thank you after?? Like when you’re done is it just like “Thanks, have a breath mint”, or do you have to cuddle for a while? Are there unspoken rules?
My boyfriend and I high-five afterwards.

Does it actually feel physically good for the guy or is it all in the mind?
This is kind of a false premise. A lot of the sensation is from stuff your brain releases while you’re going at it, so the good feeling is coming from your brain. But yes, there is physical sensation, and it’s pretty much the best.
That said, a lot of the quality of sex is determined by how in sync (and enthusiastic) with your partner you are, and what you’re thinking about while you’re going at it. If you’re 100% focused on pleasing her and having yourself pleased, then it’s amazing, the greatest feeling there is. If you’re distracted, or not particularly attracted to her that day, or whatever, then the quality of your sex will suffer. So a lot of the quality of sex is “all in the mind,” in that sense.

Today was a busy day in my head. Right now i feel tired. It’s almost seven o’clock. I think i’m gonna sit on my couch, watch some tv until another Harry Potter movie starts tonight. Tonight it’s Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Bye bye lovelies! Have a good weekend!