9:45
I get out of bed. I did sleep a bit during the later part of the night. But i was lying awake for a long time. Two times i read. The Hunger Games. The first book. Played a little. Solitaire on my iPad. Thought about this new post i want to start writing today. Didn’t think at all about what i would write for tomorrow. But then i did.
So here it is. A retelling of the day. Like the one i did on 22 July 1997.
My oatmeal porridge is still cooking. I gave my cat food. I cleaned up the catty litter box. I went to the toilet. And now i’m sitting behind my computer typing the start of this retelling.
Gonna eat my oatmeal porridge. Read a bit more.
Hmm… not sure what i will do next. Let’s wait and see.
11:38
Sheeran — Shape of You – Scrobbling now
OutKast — Hey Ya! – 5 minutes ago
The Beatles — The Long And Winding Road – Remastered 2009 – 8 minutes ago
Scritti Politti — Brushed With Oil, Dusted With Powder – 15 minutes ago
The Temptations — Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone – 22 minutes ago
Curtis Mayfield — Move on up – 30 minutes ago
Liaisons Dangereuses — Los niños del parque – 35 minutes ago
Jewelz & Sparks — Motor – Radio Edit – 39 minutes ago
Portishead — Strangers – 43 minutes ago
10cc — The Wall Street Shuffle – 46 minutes ago
Tiffany — I Think We’re Alone Now – 50 minutes ago
13:18
Going out for a walk to the Central Station to exchange the UK money i still had. Of course, it costs money to exchange. So in stead of the twenty five euros i expected i got 16 euros and something. Sigh.
I walked back and bought Allison bread at the Albert Heijn. Then i went to the Jumbo and bought some milk and two cans of cat food. And then i went past the pet doctor and bought more ProZinc for my cat for his diabetes.
And now i’m home again. Gonna make me something to eat. Some baked tofu quickly soaked in a soy sauce on bread spread with tahin. Yum 🙂
15:47
I almost slept. After lunch i read more in the Hunger Games, and my eyes fell closed. I stood up and went and lied on my bed for a short bit. So tired. That is what lack of sleep does to you.
21:11
I finished the Hunger Games. I had planned to do a bit of work. But i felt tired. So reading it was today. Early in the evening i watched a bit of tv. De wereld draait door. Koken met van boven.
I am thinking about this post i want to write. I know. I know. I should start tomorrow. I do need to get into it. Most things are clear in my mind, but i want to make it a full post. It is about something which is very dear to me. The moment of now. This ever present but so hard to catch moment we all experience. Children experience this moment naturally. Their time is a long stretched infinity in a moment. Tomorrow i will start writing more. Sketching almost. Trying to get all the thoughts i had the past days out of my head, so i can think further and make it more telling.
I don’t know if this post is the one i’m brooding on for so long. It could be. It is clear in my mind. It is important to me. It is a simple subject, but also hard to describe.
Well, that is it for today. I wish you well.
Salute!
Last Sunday when i came home i was so tired. I did make a new post, but it was only the photos. Actually, the next day, when i checked, i saw my post wasn’t published yet. It was scheduled to be published the next day. I was that tired.
I had talked so much. About my father. About the memory dream i had when i was around twenty. The dream which i knew had happened, since i had the photo of that event. About Scritti Politti, the best band in the world. About this website and my fave content on it, the video clips. And some songs too! And the cakes i will bake this week for Anne’s birthday. And how i sat in the wheelbarrow, with beer in my hands, my feet towards the fire, looking around and enjoying myself. Yay!
So yeah, it was a good evening. An excellent evening!
It took me a while to get back to my normal self. More than a day. Getting there now. I still hope for a good night sleep. One in which i cuddle up against someone. We chat a bit. Smile. Kiss. And then fall asleep.
One day. You never know. Still my biggest dream. Something i talked about as well. How i am holding this off, but also dream about it. Falling in love. Trying to get it to work. And it doesn’t. Not yet anyway.
Since 24 August 2005 i use last.fm to build up a list of most of the music i listen to. In spotify you can add the songs you listen to. My username in last.fm is ellenlfs. Nowadays i mainly use ellenpronk, but i do still like ellenlfs.
My overview page in last.fm is https://www.last.fm/user/ellenlfs. I did have many periods in which i didn’t listen that much to music. 2015 is my busiest year. In total i have 44.064 scrobbles from 1.854 artists until now.
This comes close to my overall taste, but there are differences. My favourite album of all time is Cupid & Psyche ’85 from Scritti Politti, but i’m not listening to this album as much as i used to. The previous forty years of my music listening is not in this account. Still, twelve years is a long time. I do enjoy seeing my listening habits displayed like this.
Listening History
Number of tracks scrobbled each year.
| Year | Number of scrobbles |
|---|---|
| 2005 | 827 |
| 2006 | 3653 |
| 2007 | 1744 |
| 2008 | 508 |
| 2009 | 1365 |
| 2010 | 2364 |
| 2011 | 2920 |
| 2012 | 3643 |
| 2013 | 1626 |
| 2014 | 5791 |
| 2015 | 13949 |
| 2016 | 2797 |
| 2017 | 2868 |
My top artists
1 – Scritti Politti – 2,013
2 – Talking Heads – 1,004
3 – Steely Dan – 905
4 – Pet Shop Boys – 860
5 – Sufjan Stevens – 822
6 – Wire – 816
7 – David Bowie – 682
8 – Michael Jackson – 570
9 – Beastie Boys – 544
10 – The Beatles – 523
My top albums
1 – Steely Dan — Can’t Buy A Thrill – 440
2 – Ed Lincoln – Ed Lincoln – 391
3 – Janelle Monáe — The ArchAndroid – 378
4 – Wire — Pink Flag – 297
5 – Tracey Thorn — A Distant Shore – 274
6 – Scritti Politti — White Bread Black Beer – 254
7 – Scritti Politti — Songs To Remember – 235
8 – Michael Jackson — Thriller – 227
9 – David Bowie — The Singles Collection – 220
10 – Nick Drake — Five Leaves Left – 217
My top tracks
1 – Britney Spears — Sometimes – 136
2 – Scritti Politti — Road to No Regret – 132
3 – Tracey Thorn — Too Happy – 123
4 – Scritti Politti — Absolute – 120
5 – Janelle Monáe — Tightrope (feat. Big Boi) – 115
6 – Alessi Brothers — Oh Lori – 114
7 – Steely Dan — Deacon Blues – 113
8 – Wire — Mannequin – 112
9 – Ed Lincoln — (O Nome Dele É) Waldemar – 111
10 – 10cc — I’m Not in Love – 110
The latest songs i have been listening too (Monday 25 September 22:04)
CeeLo Green — Fuck You — 6 hours ago
Johnny Cash — Ring of Fire — 6 hours ago
The Pop Group — Snowgirl — 6 hours ago
The Beatles — She Loves You – Mono / Remastered 2009 — 6 hours ago
Kurtis Blow — The Breaks — 6 hours ago
Ed Lincoln — Balansamba Nº1 — 6 hours ago
Janet Jackson — Let’s Wait Awhile — 7 hours ago
Jacques Brel — Ne me quitte pas — 7 hours ago
Carly Rae Jepsen — Call Me Maybe — 7 hours ago
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Walk Through the Fire — 7 hours ago
On the whole i feel calm. At times i do get worried. Especially when i talk to other people. My mum, friends. Sometimes, when i walk on the street and i get spoken to, i say i don’t have any money. most people don’t really react to that. It is too far away from them. I understand that. Your own worries are always so much bigger than those from somebody else.
I don’t mind listening to people. Quite enjoy it, really. Learn from it. Some terrible things you hear though. Selfish selfish people doing abominable things to other people. Take away their money. Their stuff. Simply because someone didn’t really pay attention and gave it all to his girlfriend. Not married of course. No legal document. So it is all gone. When the girlfriend has died.
What the man said when we talked. Health. A clear mind. Waking up and going outside. Your head raised. Hmm, that last part is from me. Still. He is right.
But also sweet things. A man talked about his children. Three of them. And his seven grandchildren. All doing well. Made him feel happy. Good.
So yeah, the photo above is all my money. I thought i had a bit more on my bank account. But earlier this week i had a return of money, which made it possible for my energy bill to be paid. Four euros left. And i do need to buy ProZinc for the diabetes of my cat. Fifty five euros. Hmmm. It’ll last for around four months i think. Well. Thinking. Thinking.
This is difficult. Also, in November i need to pay Mediatemple for the the gridserver my website is hosted on. As it looks right now, i won’t be able to. And then of course my mortgage.
Calm. Serene. Don’t let it worry you. You have a life. You have your work in the gardens. You have friends. It won’t go all to pieces. And yes, if it does go to pieces, it is for a reason. To learn. To live through. You know that.
Well, if someone reads this and wants to help me, i won’t mind. Of course not.
You can send money to this bank number:
N.E.Pronk
IBAN NL33 TRIO 0338 6788 24
Triodos bank
I will make a Friendship page on this website and send postcards or a drawing or something else which comes up in my mind to you if you send me me some money. Above ten dollars / ten euros i add. Below ten dollars / ten euros you will just be named on the friendship page as a sponsor. You can of course also use my Patreon page. That page is really quiet. I haven’t fully described what i will do for the people supporting me. I know, i should work on that soon!
So, calmness. A clear mind. Awareness of what could happen. But also faith in myself. In my own abilities. In my own strength.
Have a good weekend. Salute!
Today there was a get together of people professionally interested in all the green developments in Rotterdam. Last Sunday Sander did a trial run of weed parcels. I said then i would come today, Wednesday 20 September. As it turned out, the meeting was replaced to the Peace Garden. There was still work done on the concrete pavement on the Tuin op de Hofbogen, so it wasn’t possible there.
I mainly focused on the food. I did see some people i knew from time gone by a long time ago. Good.
And now, i’m tired. Really tired. It was a bit of a rush. A photo. That is it.
