Today i spend some time thinking about privacy. Of which i don’t give myself too much really. I do live alone, so it is my own choice. About some things i’m completely honest. My sex live. My dreams. My sex live used to be on a very low burner for a long time. The past two years it got fired up again. It still is. I’m even talked to on the streets at times. But i don’t go into it. I do feel and think sex is important, but also something i want to share with someone i love.
I mean HUGE TRUE love. Yeah.
So i keep on working hard. Hopefully my work will be recognized soon, will be seen and valued soon. And hopefully one day i will meet someone i will fall in love with. So i think about that in my off hours. Deep at night. In the moonshine. In the starry light.
My dreams are my own. But yes, i have written about them here. Because it also does feel that my dreams are the same as other people’s dreams. Love, happiness, sharing a life, sharing time with other people i enjoy staying with. Simple dreams really.
I’m giving myself time to think about myself, about this world, about my life sofar. To look inside myself. To look outside myself. Television mostly. Television which speeds up and on.
Time to find a good starting point. Which i had already found, of course. But still.
The past week or two i was thinking of throwing the I Ching. I waited. Today it was a good time for me. I had work to do, so i didn’t have plenty of time to work on ellenpronk.com. And the I Ching is something i can simply do at home, not difficult.
I did have a vague question. How do i go further?
This morning i went to the vet with my cat Muis (= Mouse). His diabetes is playing up. His blood was checked, i got insulin for him. Yes, plenty of money, i’m afraid.
I still feel there is something inside me, or outside me, connected to this website, waiting to burst out. But you know, i could be wrong! Easily! I could be sitting here in my house waiting for it to be sold of, me to be homeless and without steady internet. Seeing my life crumble before my eyes. I can see all the people laughing at me, pointing their fingers at me, saying I told you so!
That won’t happen. I’m pretty sure. Almost a 100%. Like 99%.
I don’t know.
I still feel there is something around me. But it is hard to talk about it with friends. Or strangers. Or at all. I gotta keep on going, now is the time, i can not let anything distract me from my true goal.
Goal?
Well, those sort of thoughts.
I do know my thoughts are changing. I’m watching tv a lot more critical, watching the people say their words, do their things. Some of it is terrible. This whole world is filled with people talking their mind with no proper thought. Or so it seems.
This hexagram is a picture of an open mouth; above and below are firm lines of the lips, and between them the opening. Starting with the mouth, through which we take food for nourishment, the thought leads to nourishment itself. Nourishment of oneself, specifically of the body, is represented in the three lower lines, while the three upper lines represent nourishment and care of others, in a higher, spiritual sense.
THE JUDGMENT
THE CORNERS OF THE MOUTH.
Perseverance brings good fortune.
Pay heed to the providing of nourishment
And to what a man seeks
To fill his own mouth with.
In bestowing care and nourishment, it is important that the right people should be taken care of and that we should attend to our own nourishment in the right way. If we wish to know what anyone is like, we have only to observe on whom he bestows his care and what sides of his own nature he cultivates and nourishes. Nature nourishes all creatures. The great man fosters and takes care of superior men, in order to take care of all men through them. Mencius says about this:
If we wish to know whether anyone is superior or not, we need only observe what part of his being he regards as especially important. The body has superior and inferior, important and unimportant parts. We must not injure important parts for the sake of the unimportant, nor must we injure the superior parts for the sake of the inferior. He who cultivates the inferior parts of his nature is an inferior man. He who cultivates the superior parts of his nature is a superior man.
THE IMAGE
At the foot of the mountain, thunder:
The image of PROVIDING NOURISHMENT.
Thus the superior man is careful of his words
And temperate in eating and drinking.
“God comes forth in the sign of the Arousing”: when in the spring the life forces stir again, all things comes into being anew. “He brings to perfection in the sign of Keeping Still”: thus in the early spring, when the seeds fall to earth, all things are made ready. This is an image of providing nourishment through movement and tranquillity. The superior man takes it as a pattern for the nourishment and cultivation of his character. Words are a movement going form within outward. Eating and drinking are movements from without inward. Both kinds of movement can be modified by tranquillity. For tranquillity keeps the words that come out of the mouth from exceeding proper measure, and keeps the food that goes into the mouth from exceeding its proper measure. Thus character is cultivated.
Six in the third place means:
Turning away from nourishment.
Perseverance brings misfortune.
Do not act thus for ten years.
Nothing serves to further.
He who seeks nourishment that does not nourish reels from desire to gratification and in gratification craves desire. Mad pursuit of pleasure for the satisfaction of the senses never brings one to the goal. One should never (ten years is a complete cycle of time) follow this path, for nothing good can come of it.
This hexagram shows a fire that breaks out of the secret depths of the earth and, blazing up, illuminates and beautifies the mountain, the heavenly heights. Grace-beauty of form-is necessary in any union if it is to be well ordered and pleasing rather than disordered and chaotic.
THE JUDGMENT
GRACE has success.
In small matters
It is favorable to undertake something.
Grace brings success. However, it is not the essential or fundamental thing; it is only the ornament and therefore be used sparingly and only in little things. In the lower trigram of fire a yielding line comes between two strong lines and makes them beautiful, but the strong lines are the essential content and the weak line is the beautifying form. In the upper trigram of the mountain, the strong line takes the lead, so that here again the strong element must be regarded as the decisive factor. In nature we see in the sky the strong light of the sun; the life of the world depends on it. But this strong, essential thing is changed and given pleasing variety by the moon and the stars. In human affairs, aesthetic form comes into being when traditions exist that, strong and abiding like mountains, are made pleasing by a lucid beauty. By contemplating the forms existing in the heavens we come to understand time and its changing demands. Through contemplation of the forms existing in human society it becomes possible to shape the world.
THE IMAGE
Fire at the foot of the mountain:
The image of GRACE.
Thus does the superior man proceed
When clearing up current affairs.
But he dare not decide controversial issues in this way.
The fire, whose light illuminates the mountain and makes it pleasing, does not shine far; in the same way, beautiful form suffices to brighten and to throw light upon matters of lesser moment, but important questions cannot be decided in this way. They require greater earnestness.
A short thought on these signs and their meaning for me right now. I does remind me of the past ten years, in which i remained silent. I was leading a perfectly ordinary life, working, gaming, watching television shows. But i was standing still.
I d feel different now. I’m moving. Thinking out loud, in this place. I don’t mind that much that this place is not visited by many people. I need this time to clear my head, formulate my thoughts, look around and determine my position. Where do i stand? Where do i start from? What do i want to say?
So for now, these two signs do tell me something valuable.
I need to find a position from where i can sit still and look around. From where i can watch the world hurtle by.
An old friend, Peter, gave me this single of The Word Girl as a present. Must have been around 1989, 1990? The best Scritti song ever!
I wasn't an all out singles collector. But when i came across one i liked, i bought it. L Is For Lover performed by Al Jarreau is written by Green Gartside and David Gamson. The early 90s Shabba and Scritti single She's A Woman next to it.
It's alright, the best packaging of a Pet Shop Boys single ever! And a baby clip too. I mean, a clip with lots of babies in it.
Especially the backside with this sunny picture of Neil Tennant.
DjCulture is pretty basic, still good. Next to it this lovely girl, what is her name? Aaah... Patsy Kensit! I'm Not Scared.
This section is of singles i bought in the 70s. Between eight and twelve years old. Fleetwood Mac had a huge hit with Go Your Own Way. And i loved I'll Play The Fool.
Ooh... Make Me Smile is a great song! And Steve Harley was kinda cute. I know, i've already added this song to my spotify MIX playlists. But there are many more songs here to add! Like Hot Chocolate's So You Win Again.
Baby Don't Change Your Mind. On the right a single from a band from the town i am born in, Fungus. Kaap'ren Varen was a new version of an old Dutch traditional song.
A single from Stevie Wonder. I believe it was with an album. And next to it Madness. A bit older here, around fourteen years old.
OK, these singles i bought mostly in the late 80s. I was studying at the time and i really didn't have a lot of money. So i went in the record shops and flipped through the vanished from the top 40 singles. Most were 1 guilder, less than 50 cents in today's money. One song: Apparently Nothing from the Young Disciples.
It is different now. Different from a few years back. I felt unhappy a few years back. But these days, this past year and a half, i felt happy. Truly happy.
But yes, i am still alone.
Lives of my old friends has moved on. They moved away. They got children. All very understandable.
Looking back at my old life, i see now i always felt a need to adjust myself. To change how i respond. There was always tension. There still is. I still feel it. It is very hard for me to relax and be myself, completely, with other people. To be honest, i will rather be by myself. It is easier for me.
Working in the garden has added some difficulty these past months. All different sorts of people, with whom it is hard to find the right note. Who say things i don’t understand. I need to deal with that, by myself.
They do not know me. I tell myself that that is fine with me. But some of the things they say are hurtful.
And, as it turns out, some of the things i say are hurtful too. I learned this this week. Strange.
Right now, i feel happiest when i’m alone watching at the world. Reading articles, thinking my thoughts all by myself. Trying to find a place from where i can speak, think.
It is still a bit muddled. A bit unclear.
I hope i am growing up steady.
It is hard for me to talk about with a clear mind.
I am trying.
So please, do what ever you want. You may read the articles i posted at the end of this one. Or not. You can read the quote. Or not. You can watch what Simon Vinkenoog is saying, in Dutch. Or not.
Whatever you want.
There is a gentrification that is happening to cities, and there is a gentrification that is happening to the emotions too, with a similarly homogenising, whitening, deadening effect. Amidst the glossiness of late capitalism, we are fed the notion that all difficult feelings â depression, anxiety, loneliness, rage â are simply a consequence of unsettled chemistry, a problem to be fixed, rather than a response to structural injustice or, on the other hand, to the native texture of embodiment, of doing time, as David Wojnarowicz memorably put it, in a rented body, with all the attendant grief and frustration that entails.
I donât believe the cure for loneliness is meeting someone, not necessarily. I think itâs about two things: learning how to befriend yourself and understanding that many of the things that seem to afflict us as individuals are in fact a result of larger forces of stigma and exclusion, which can and should be resisted.
Loneliness is personal, and it is also political. Loneliness is collective; it is a city. As to how to inhabit it, there are no rules and nor is there any need to feel shame, only to remember that the pursuit of individual happiness does not trump or excuse our obligations to each another. We are in this together, this accumulation of scars, this world of objects, this physical and temporary heaven that so often takes on the countenance of hell. What matters is kindness; what matters is solidarity. What matters is staying alert, staying open, because if we know anything from what has gone before us, it is that the time for feeling will not last. (Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone)
Perfection is a state of completeness and flawlessness.
The oldest definition of “perfection”, fairly precise and distinguishing the shades of the concept, goes back to Aristotle. In Book Delta of the Metaphysics, he distinguishes three meanings of the term, or rather three shades of one meaning, but in any case three different concepts. That is perfect:
1. which is complete â which contains all the requisite parts;
2. which is so good that nothing of the kind could be better;
3. which has attained its purpose.
An interesting article to read, the Wikipedia page.
My own definition is this one: perfection is the ultimate best. Nothing can be better than perfection.
Can we, human beings, ever become perfect? Can we attain a state in which nothing can be improved, nothing can be made better. Can we attain this state of ultimate bliss? Nothing out there would make us feel any better. We will be complete. Without flaws. Perfect.
I’m not going to find an answer to this question in one evening.
But i did notice something these past days. I was thinking of myself as very happy, these last two years. As almost perfect, almost. I have achieved some things which i thought would be impossible. Like giving away my drawings. I have worked really hard. Found some new areas within myself. My singing. My video clips. Which i love.
But they are not perfect. Almost the opposite really. But i still love them.
Someone recently wrote to me that i had said some things which she didn’t like. First i didn’t accept that. I was doing so well. Even though my life is pretty much solitary, i felt wonderful. Happy. Joyous.
But over a day the thought crept into my mind that she might be right. I could explain it, tell her where the sayings came from. But in the end, she was right. Even though i felt a very strong feeling against what she had written me. A firm feeling of denial. “No, that is NOT true!” She was right.
I make mistakes. Errors. Sometimes my mind is so full of my own thoughts, someone else’s can not find any room to enter. I am not perfect. Not content. Not at peace with the world. Not at peace with all the people living on this planet.
It hurt me, what she wrote. Yesterday i almost felt normal walking the street. Ignoring the other people, simply finding my own pace and walking strait and ignoring everyone else.
Today was a bit better. A bit.
I know i am finally working on making things that interest me. I hope someday other people will be interested too. Soon. đ
That is enough for me. Perfection is not for me, not now.
Que Sera Sera – Doris Day
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what will I be
Will I be pretty will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me
Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera Sera
What will be will be
When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows day after day
Here’s what my sweetheart said
Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera Sera
What will be will be
Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother what will I be
Will I be handsome will I be rich
I tell them tenderly
Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera Sera
What will be will be
Que Sera Sera
The title of this post is still uncertain. First it was Whatever will be will be. Now, at the time of writing this, it is Moon River. Both titles are titles of songs. The song Que Sera Sera has a three stages structure, going from a young girl asking her mother, to a young woman asking her lover to a mother telling her child.
Moon River is more difficult for me to analyze. On the wikipedia page there is the following quote by Robert Wright from The Atlantic Monthly:
“This is a love sung to wanderlust. Or a romantic song in which the romantic partner is the idea of romance.”
This was not how this post started. Today, Tuesday, a link was posted from Brainpickings to a 2013 post titled The Psychology of How Mind-Wandering and âPositive Constructive Daydreamingâ Boost Our Creativity and Social Skills. I have written about daydreaming before. Sometimes embarrassingly. Some things i would like to hide from you, my dear reader, for ever. But i told you, and it is there for you to find these little secret hiding places in this website. Out in the open.
Singer described three core styles of daydreaming: positive constructive daydreaming, a process fairly free of psychological conflict, in which playful, vivid, wishful imagery drives creative thought; guilty-dysphoric daydreaming, driven by a combination of ambitiousness, anguishing fantasies of heroism, failure, and aggression, and obsessive reliving of trauma, a mode particularly correlated with PTSD; and poor attentional control, typical of the anxious, the distractible, and those having difficulties concentrating.
Looking at these three different types of daydreaming, i definitely fall in the first category. A lot of wishing, a lot of romance, very vivid. Yes.
Living in the now is a popular way of being for i’d say the past forty years or so. Fifty years even, or more. It has its value. I will say that those moments when you are present in your current time with all your attention towards it may be your happiest moments on this world. But i don’t think this is all for us. We need to position ourselves towards what we have done and said in the past, we need to make plans for the future.
Singer explored the relationship between daydreaming, personality, divergent thought, creativity, planning, problem solving, associational fluency, curiosity, attention, and distractibility. Singer noted that daydreaming can reinforce and enhance social skills, offer relief from boredom, provide opportunities for rehearsal and constructive planning, and provide an ongoing source of pleasure. In later work, Singer describes those who engage in positive constructive daydreaming as âhappy daydreamersâ who enjoy fantasy, vivid imagery, the use of daydreaming for future planning, and possess abundant interpersonal curiosity.
Last Sunday was a Bonfire evening at the Peace Garden, the Vredestuin. I talked for a while with Matthijs. About his travels, what made him feel happy, the love he felt for people. Later on, a few hours later, we talked again. This time i told him about my life, a bit. The things i make for myself: my toothpaste, washing liquid, body and hand cream butter. How i was working on a recipe for falafel, which is still not right. I also talked about me living my life mostly by myself.
Later on i talked with Anne, who i had only met that day, the weeding queen! I talked about my work. This website and my previous website, lfs.nl. What i was doing there. And that i could imagine myself living anywhere else. Or London. I didn’t agree with her when she said i lived here in Rotterdam for the past thirty years and that i would spend the rest of my life in here. I don’t think that is true, not for anyone. But i was a bit all over the place. I am not used to talking about these things so openly with people i have only just met.
Yesterday i was a bit tired. I had to think about the night before, about all the things i had said.
Today i first had an idea of making a post about doing my nails. But later on, after i had come back from the market, i started to think about another post. About what i wish for myself, what i hope for, what i want. But also that i felt i couldn’t grab it, i couldn’t want want it. I have written about this earlier, in earlier posts.
I need to find a way to make myself money to live off. This house, the water i have, the gas i use, that all costs money. My two cats, they cost money. I have only enough for the next two to three months.
And i don’t want to work in this world, here in the Netherlands, here in this current time, here with these rules on how we deal with each other. I don’t want to do that anymore. I have done it enough.
I have said it before. This website, ellenpronk.com, is my work. It is how i want to earn my living. I see only one way. I need to become famous. Now, i know, nobody else will do that to me. Nobody else will say that they like what i do and that i should be famous. Nobody.
But me.
But who will listen?
Well, there are many different ways of being famous. And i don’t need to be all worldwide famous right from the start all at once. I can start smallish. Actually, i have already started. With this website. With lfs.nl even. I can set up a Patreon page. Hmm, i should do that quite soon.
So i can not predict my future. I have only dreams, which are changing all the time.
But this Monday, while i was thinking about the night before, i noticed different daydreams. I noticed a change in myself. And i do know i’m living my life right now, taking one step forward each time. And i’m not going back. But i do need to really think about where i am, and where i want to be in a couple of months.
So yeah, i may daydream part of the day, part of the night. But i also need to really think about my life and not take for granted everything will be just fine in my life. I do need to do certain things, need to write about certain things, need to make certain things. Not let the dreams take me away in their soft arms and let my life drop below me. I need to take charge.
My way.
Of course.
Moon River – Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Moon River, wider than a mile,
I’m crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you’re going I’m going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There’s such a lot of world to see.
We’re after the same rainbow’s end–
waiting ’round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.
This hexagram, like sun, is one of the eight formed by doubling of a trigram.
The trigram Tui denotes the youngest daughter; it is symbolized by the
smiling lake, and its attribute is joyousness. Contrary to appearances, it is not
the yielding quality of the top line that accounts for joy here. The attribute of
the yielding or dark principle is not joy but melancholy. However, joy is
indicated by the fact that there are two strong lines within, expressing
themselves through the medium of gentleness.
True joy, therefore, rests on firmness and strength within, manifesting itself
outwardly as yielding and gentle.
THE JUDGMENT
THE JOYOUS. Success.
Perseverance is favorable.
The joyous mood is infectious and therefore brings success. But joy must be
based on steadfastness if it is not to degenerate into uncontrolled mirth.
Truth and strength must dwell in the heart, while gentleness reveals itself in
social intercourse. In this way one assumes the right attitude toward God and
man and achieves something. Under certain conditions, intimidation
without gentleness may achieve something momentarily, but not for all
time. When, on the other hand, the hearts of men are won by friendliness,
they are led to take all hardships upon themselves willingly, and if need be
will not shun death itself, so great is the power of joy over men.
THE IMAGE
Lakes resting one on the other:
The image of THE JOYOUS.
Thus the superior man joins with his friends
For discussion and practice.
A lake evaporates upward and thus gradually dries up; but when two lakes
are joined they do not dry up so readily, for one replenishes the other. It is
the same in the field of knowledge. Knowledge should be a refreshing and
vitalizing force. It becomes so only through stimulating intercourse with
congenial friends with whom one holds discussion and practices application
of the truths of life. In this way learning becomes many-sided and takes on a
cheerful lightness, whereas there is always something ponderous and one-
sided about the learning of the self-taught.
My earliest memory is the one where i am around a year and a half old. It is warm. My hands are on stones. Warm stones. In front of me is my mother. She points to something behind me. I look around. It is my dad, with a thing in front of his head. He uses his finger on it.
This memory came back to me in a dream, when i was around twenty years old. I found the photo. It was strange. I remember the feeling of the warm stones under my hands so well. My father taking a picture of me and my mom. I felt happy. And i was looking at this photo and seeing myself and remembering the feelings i had when i was so little.
I did loose the photo. I looked for it several times over the years, but nothing. Still, the memory is ingrained in me.
It is a very structured situation. Me, my mother and my father. My mother pointing at my father. My father hiding his face. Not being present. Looking through the lens. Clicking.
Taking care of the cats of friends, in 1985, while they were on holiday in Turkey. In the centre of Rotterdam. A side street of the West Kruiskade. He had just bought Cupid & Psyche 85, the album of Scritti Politti. I was hooked. Later on i reread my old Vinyl magazine collection. There were two interviews in it. One in 1982, the other in 1984. I must have read them. Why didn’t i buy Songs to Remember? I don’t know.
The three or four weeks i stayed in that house, i was playing Cupid & Psyche almost continuously. The music, the lyrics, i was in love. When my friends came back, i apologized to him, saying i played it so much, i was sure there ticks on the album. He didn’t mind. I bought the album for myself. Yay! I also bought a 12″ from The Word Girl. Loved it too.
Only later i bought Songs to Remember, in February 1986.
It was on a Tuesday. I went to Haddock, a record store in the center. There it was. I remember buying it. When i got home i put it on. I remember hearing the sounds of The “Sweetest Girl” for the first time. I don’t know why, but at that moment i threw coins for the I Ching. Well, i did throw them a lot in those days. I got the thirteenth sign Fellowship with Men with a changing nine on the fifth place.
Life leads the thoughtful man on a path of many windings.
Now the course is checked, now it runs straight again.
Here winged thoughts may pour freely forth in words,
There the heavy burden of knowledge must be shut away in silence.
But when two people are at one in the inmost hearts,
They shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze.
And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts,
Their words are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids.
I still don’t know exactly what this means.
I do know this has got to do with me. With how i lead my life. With what i am working for.
I had written my very first published html page. A week after, a good friend came by and i showed it to her. She asked me, why had i stopped? Why hadn’t i continued working?
I felt so silly.
The day after i published my next page.
The early days of then home.luna.nl/~ellen were great. The things i made then were a mixed bag. I stopped working on those pages in December 1997. The next year i worked on homebase. I collected images, old works, new works and munched it all together. A maze.
I was asked to participate in a exhibition de Kunstvlaai in the Westergasfabriek in Amsterdam. I prepared some bits. When i was there, i knew i had to change it. So i decided to make a page which would change the whole time. A free day. 14 May 1999. My first present.
This electrified me. This felt great. I don’t even know if people were really watching. Just working on this the entire day, making all these shots, doing my own make up, doing my own hair, it felt huge! I loved loved loved it.
1999 stood out. Flash was a great discovery. I worked almost every day.
2005 stood out. I remember the end of 2004, something happened to me then. I started going to the gym in January 2005, lost around 10 kilos. I felt good.
But it was a last sprint.
From 2006 until 2014 i hardly ever worked on lfs.nl. I worked in real life. In 2011 i started working for myself as an independant front-end developer.
Looking back on that time, i realize now it was a hard time. There was only work and gaming. And television. I hardly saw my old friends. I had stopped trying to make that all work. I saw my life falling apart and nothing much was left over. It seemed.
This year, 2016, i went to London for a Scritti gig in the Roundhouse. I went there with a purpose, to give my drawings to Green Gartside. I had talked about it here, on this site. I remember talking about doing this ten years ago with friends. They advised me not to do this, that it would be awkward. I think they were right.
But this year it felt like the right thing to do. So i did it. After a long wait, having some doubts, having more drinks, i did give them.
It was different from what i had imagined. But it was real. I will not forget.
I hope Green likes them. I haven’t heard anything since, but that is ok. I’m still working here. Enjoying myself. Leading my own life, as i should.
The past two years of my life are extremely important to me. The way i fell in love, the way it disappeared. That i suddenly got back working on lfs.nl. A miracle. No difficult things i needed to do. Simply add a new present.
The time i realized that i was about to make my last present, in January 2015. About.
The time i started working on this website, ellenpronk.com. I haven’t missed a day yet. Apart from a week off between Christmas and New Year. I actually have given myself five weeks off. Like a proper job.
I know this place is not visited that much, but i do hope visitors will appreciate what they get here.
On this website i write about my past, about the current day, the food i eat, the stuff i think about, the garden, the work i have done, the songs i sing, the video’s i have made.
I love this place.
Working here means everything to me. I can still feel new future uses. I do see certain categories slowing down, others coming into existence. I love how it flows.
I love this place.
I will keep on working on it. Until it is time to stop. Not anytime soon!
I remember a dream from last night. This is rare. I don’t remember them at all the past ten? twenty? years.
I was staying in a hotel. I went to the canteen to get something to eat. It was a proper canteen, with sweets stacked up at the sales person. I was standing there and i realized i had forgotten to get a tray. I looked back and saw a line of people standing behind me. I also saw a tray in front of me, but with stuff stacked upon it. I did get it and moved the stuff of. To the dismay of the sales person.
Today will be a slow day. I know i should do some cleaning in my house. It has been on my mind for the past week or two. So i hope i will finally do a bit today.
I did clean my bathroom! Yay!
I went out to do a bit of shopping. But i went to the Stairs at the Central Station first. Went all the way up! I did stand still twice. It is quite a climb. On top i went all around again. I didn’t film anything at the top, but i did film going up and going down. I might do something just with those films, the stairs.
When i got back home i made my last coffee. Tea from now on. No cream and no sugar in there. I watched Escape to the country on the BBC. Then i sat behind my computer and checked my mail, twitter and facebook. And hey! Carolien has made an comment on my last post:
Thank you Ellen, for this. For inviting me and Jeroen in your dancing. The two of us donât dance often enough anyway. The courage to create your life daily. I like it. Lieve groet, Carolien
Thank you Carolien! I do hope one day we will have a dance evening for real.
Evening.
I watched half Back to the Future. I’ve seen it like ten times, or more. Still like it.
I did just turn it of. Don’t feel like watching the whole movie.
Outside it’s raining. Lightning too. No thunder though. Not yet anyway. The sound of water running down you can hear clearly.
Earlier i did import the movies i made today in iMovie. I think i will make a movie will just the stairs bit. Something with a rhythm? Hopefully it will be done by the end of this week. I do have enough footage now.
Going to bed now. Read a bit, watch some youtube clips. Gardening tips!
