Ellen's blog

The Compensation

I fell into this program this afternoon, De Tegenprestatie – The Compensation. It took me quite a search to find a good translation of this word tegenprestatie. It is a combination of two words: tegen ~ counter, and prestatie ~ achievement.

I found the following words:

Amends ~ Compensation for a loss or injury; recompense; reparation
Indemnification ~ The act or process of indemnifying, preserving, or securing against loss, damage, or penalty; reimbursement of loss, damage, or penalty; the state of being indemnified.
Compensation ~ Something, such as money, given or received as payment or reparation, as for a service or loss.
Exchange ~ To give and receive reciprocally; interchange: exchange gifts; exchange ideas.

In the evening i opened up my Dutch – English dictionary and looked it up. I settled for compensation. I’m still not sure.

The Dutch word is a very specific word in this context. It is a term used by the government for a return for a social security finance you get when you are unemployed. It is a new development, set in motion from around 2015. This evolves around a new term, participation, which is in high use in politics right now. In Rotterdam, the city where i live, this is performed in a vehement form. The program De Tegenprestatie is recorded in Rotterdam. It is a repeat of the transmission in October 2015.

I just came home from doing some grocery shopping. My new bread dough was still in its first rise. I had to wait for a while before i could knead it again, so i turned on the television. As i said in the beginning of this post, i fell into this program.

The language used by the people working at the social services department in Rotterdam is immediately recognizable. You can hear the politics behind it seeping through. The only objective is to get people out of social security as fast as possible, with any payable job possible.

While watching the talks i felt a cold indignation, an anger frowing inside of me. I also felt sorry for the people sitting there, working there. You can feel the training, the days of working together to get the tone right. The computers, the papers, the signatures. It is a world in which i really don’t want to get involved in. It is a dehumanizing environment. With names for talks, De Werkintake, De Inspanningsperiode, names for homework people have to do. This is the civilized shape of slavery. Nobody carries the responsibility for this system. It is shaped by civil servants and politicians in meetings and workshops and symposia. People are not physically hurt, no, but they are hurt by the way they are approached, by the complete lack of humanity with which they are treated.

I’m not sure i have found the right words to express my feelings about this system. I do know, I will rather do any cleaning work, than get involved in this system. I hope it will not get to that. I hope to be something else entirely. I’m working my ass of to achieve that. With this website, ellenpronk.com.

I’m sorry for the people who do not understand Dutch. The entire program can be seen on the human.nl: 2DOC: De Tegenprestatie.

A 31 minute part of this program.

About ‘De Tegenprestatie’

Published on January 15, 2016 at 6:00 by Ellen

Categorised in: General

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A new selfie

Today i colored my hair. I had decided to go a bit lighter. I used a dark blonde or light brown color over the past years. This summer i used a medium golden blonde. One of the reasons is that i am turning grey. At the roots it was a lot lighter, a mix between grey and dark blonde. The lighter shade blended quite well. So last Friday i decided to even go a shade lighter. I chose Light Natural Blonde, 9N from John Frieda.

After my hair dried mostly, i blow-dried it. I used a style rod to straighten my bangs. My bangs always curl up. I had cut them a tiny bit after i had coloured my hair.

Over the past weeks i was thinking about the portrait i use for social media. I do like the picture, but it is five years old. Time for a change.

I started to make myself up, nothing too much.

a tinted moisturizer Extra Light Tint from Bobbi Brown
my Mac eye shadows, Nylon on the inner eyelid, Wedge in the crease, Handwritten and Typographic on the outer side to lift up my eyes a bit
Chanel Inimitable Waterproof mascara
Mac eye brown pencil Lingering
Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream Berry Sheer Tint

And then, just before the sunset, the sun shone in my room.

I took several photos of myself, around twenty. I opened them all in Photoshop and closed the ones i didn’t like. I will try out four on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and whatever more sites i got an account on.

I did use a small color correction on all the pictures. The ones in the straight sunshine were a bit too yellow, i pulled the blue-yellow curve so that my face would be a bit more pink. I finally picked four photos i can choose between.

I admit, i am a bit vain. Even though i’m 51, i do like to look my best. These photos are the best i’ve taken in a few years. And i love the blond hair!

My favourite. I like the look on my face, slightly taken from above. Yes, i can have a double chin! There is quite a lot of shadow. But it is the slight smile which works for me.

I do like this picture a lot. The shadow, the expression. But in the end, i do think it is too dark. Social media portraits are used tiny. This portrait has too many details to work good small.

I like this one. Too bad the chin is chopped of, but it could be used.

A good one, sure. Just imported this one on twitter. My favourite had too dark a shadow. Let's see how this one works out.

My old social media selfportrait, made in 2010

Published on January 14, 2016 at 6:00 by Ellen

Categorised in: Beauty, Internet

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Erwtensoep, or Split Pea Soup

Yesterday i was a bit thrown off my regular day rhythm. The news of David Bowie’s death on 10 January did make me sad. I did read facebook posts a lot more than i usually do. I also watched a late night documentary David Bowie: Five Years, read online articles and obituaries. It was hard to stay away from. I didn’t know the man. I only bought a greatest hits album and Earthling in the 90s. I liked that one. Still do. But i did like him. He actually was in my daydreams. He was the man i talked with about my byciclerepairman.

Today i was in better form. I did went out to the market and bought some remaining vegetables to make a split pea soup. Or rather, a Dutch erwtensoep! Haven’t made this many times, i do usually by a tin, i admit.

Ingredients

green split peas, i used 250 grams, half the packet i bought
1 large onion, cut in small pieces
1 winter carrot, cut in small pieces
a few bits of celery, cut
bacon, in small slices
garlic, around 4-5 cloves, sliced in small pieces
2 broth cubes, i used vegetable, you can use beef, or chicken if you want to
potatoes, also cut
half a celeriac, cut in small pieces,
2 leeks, sliced
a bush of celery, the spice
a Dutch smoked sausage, this is a hard one to get if you don’t live in the Netherlands, i guess any type of smoked sausage will do, cooked and sliced in small slices

Start with the onion sweating them in a bit of vegetable oil. I went through my herb and spices drawer and added some caraway and coriander seed. After a few minutes i added the carrot, garlic and celery. One and a half liters of water added to this, the two broth cubes and the split peas. Let this simmer for 45 minutes.

After 45 minutes add the potatoes, leeks, celeriac and celery. Let the soup simmer on for around 30 minutes.
Prepare the sausage as needed, either warm it up in hot, not yet boiling water or cook it till it is done when it is a raw sausage. This will take around 15 minutes. Slice the sausage in small pieces and add these to the soup.

The soup is done once the peas are cooked through.

Serve the soup in a large bowl with either bread with butter or with smoked bacon, katenspek.

I honestly enjoyed this soup. It was a lot fresher than the ones bought in tins. I could have used more split peas, as most photos online are usually of a very thick soup. But i don’t mind that really. There are so many vegetables in this soup that it is a very rewarding meal. Enjoy!

Published on January 13, 2016 at 6:00 by Ellen

Categorised in: Food

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David Bowie, 8 January 1947 – 10 January 2016

DAVID BOWIE
“Lazarus”

Look up here, I’m in heaven
I’ve got scars that can’t be seen
I’ve got drama, can’t be stolen
Everybody knows me now

Look up here, man, I’m in danger
I’ve got nothing left to lose
I’m so high it makes my brain whirl
Dropped my cell phone down below

Ain’t that just like me

By the time I got to New York
I was living like a king
Then I used up all my money
I was looking for your ass

This way or no way
You know, I’ll be free
Just like that bluebird
Now ain’t that just like me

Oh I’ll be free
Just like that bluebird
Oh I’ll be free
Ain’t that just like me

Published on January 12, 2016 at 6:00 by Ellen

Categorised in: World

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The end of a beautiful dvd collection

April 11, 2003, at 21.40 CET i published a present: The beginning of a beautiful dvd collection.

dvdcollectie

Donnie Darko, Magnolia, Boogie Nights, Buffy season 1 / 5, Lord of the Rings Extended Fellowship of the Ring, Angels season 1.

Today i’m writing the post The end of a beautiful dvd collection.

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I do think the last dvd i bought was either Dollhouse s2 or Caprica. That must have been the end of 2010. Five years ago. I was downloading already. But yes, i did enjoy having the dvd’s, of special shows i love. I enjoy the packaging, the special features.

My favourite dvd’s still are the extended ones form the Lord of the Rings. The bonus features! The first one, which i already had in 2003, had this special bonus on color correcting, which i loved. I should watch these again soon. Not the movies itself i’m afraid. These were broadcasted on television so many times, i can probably dream these. But yes, the special features!

The movies are mostly from the mid 00’s. Cube i haven’t watched entirely. 24 i liked. True binge watching. I stayed up until around 5am, thinking every time i pressed next that it was going to be the last one, but i couldn’t resist. But 24 did fade away , especially after season 5 or 6.

My Joss Whedon fandom is clearly visible. Buffy, Angel, Serenity, Firefly, Dollhouse, Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog. Most of the first year Buffy comics. I am curious what Whedon will start up next. Even do i did enjoy the two Avenger movies, i’m happy Whedon has stopped working on these and is back to creating his own world once again. I’m curious!

And of course Battlestar Galactica. I missed the first two seasons when it was broadcasted here in the Netherlands. But once i got to see it, i was hooked. I love the story telling, the acting, Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell especially. The human Cylons were great, and delivered a special view on humans and how they were perceived by their own makings. Since two days i’m watching the series once again. Friday i watched the mini series. Yesterday, saturday, i watched the first season until episode 8 Litmus. I will watch the rest of season 1 this evening. I’m also reading the reviews on the A.V. Club website. It does give many insights into the episodes which i only half noticed. Or not have noticed at all!

…my interpretation is that it’s the first time the show makes clear to its humans, through a web of subtext and semiotics, that humans will have to be something other than human in order to survive. It’s not clear what, for sure. But this transference of sexual imagery to the machine—and then Kara’s transformation from a ground-crawling human to person that can kind-of-sort-of fly, using her feet and hands — is not an image that is just thrown into the story for funzies. There is something very intense here — a meditation on humanity, a meditation on survival, a reckoning of the very drives that make us people. And an exhortation, perhaps, to walk in someone else’s shoes — or to fly with their wings — or to look through their eyes, after you’ve given them over to the Commander. (from You can’t go home again)

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My second bread! With sunflower pits and flaxseeds. I did knead it longer this time, around 10 minutes. The rising went better. I ate the first slices straight after it got out of the oven. I had two slices with butter, and two with tuna salad i made half an hour before, with self made mayonaise. Gorgeous!

Published on January 11, 2016 at 6:00 by Ellen

Categorised in: Books, films and TV

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David Foster Wallace

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This article from the Dutch newspaper NRC Handelsblad, published 14 December 2012, has been hanging on my board for the past three years. It is about Wallace himself, about his books, about his recently published biography. It is a Dutch article, i won’t be translating it. Sorry.

The last two sentences

In a world of pure panic, of smouldering suffering, artificial irony doesn’t have a place anymore. It doesn’t even scratch the fucking surface.

Published on January 8, 2016 at 6:00 by Ellen

Categorised in: Books, films and TV

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Bread

Today i baked my first bread ever!

I haven’t eaten it yet. It is still cooling down. I will take a slice this evening. Curious!

It does feel heavy. But when i knock on the bottom with my finger, i hear a good hollow tick.

I did use a recipe from Nigel Slater which was published in the Guardian. I did divide it by two, since i only wanted to make one loaf. I also left out the parmesan. I didn’t have any. The honey and the walnuts i did add. I had plenty of those in my house.

Ingredients

200 g spelt flour
200g rye flour
50 g wheat flour
5 g yeast
1/2 tsp salt
300 ml warm water
1,5 tbsp honey
50 g walnuts

It wasn’t very difficult. But i do know, since it is my first, that many things could have gone wrong. I might have kneeded it not long enough. Or too long! I might have baked it too long. A bit.. like 5 minutes. But still, it was a good thing for me to do. I still have enough flour to make 4 other loaves. I will buy some more seeds, i like that. And yeah, i might give the parmesan a try.

I did do some research beforehand. Especially about sourdough. But most recipes for that said it would take a couple of days to make. So i’m starting with yeast, simple dried yeast. I will make a sourdough starter one day. Curious!

Add all the three flours into a large bowl together with the dried yeast and the salt and stir. Warm the water with the honey slightly, mix with the flours. Once everything is mixed, put the sticky dough on a floured surface. Knead the dough by hand, pulling and stretching the dough, for a good five minutes.

Lightly oil the bowl, put the dough back into it. Cover with a tea cloth or clingfilm and set aside for an hour.

Remove the dough from the bowl, knead again for around two minutes, this time adding the nuts. Shape the dough into a nice oval long shape and leaf for half an hour. Set the oven to 220ªC 15 minutes before. Bake for 30 minutes, until crisp.

This bread should keep for a couple of days, wrapped in foil or film.

Published on January 7, 2016 at 6:00 by Ellen

Categorised in: Food

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My Favourite Things

Around Christmas and Old Years Eve television takes out all the known favourites. No, sorry US people, that is not The Wizard of Oz, i’m sad to say. In Europe there are many movies in the end of year season. Last Sunday it was Singing in the Rain, on the afternoon. I didn’t see the whole movie, but i did love it. Well, apart from the large musical pieces in there. I prefer the more intimate scenes. Other movies where the Indiana Jones movies on the BBC, which i love. The Harry Potter movies too. I do hope next year they will broadcast the entire series, and not miss out on the Half Blood Prince. Grrrr.

But the best movie this year, one i have seen many many many times before, was The Sound of Music. I love the singing, i love Maria, i love the children, i love the love story, the failed love story of the two youngsters, and i love it they continue after the marriage with the escaping run over the Austrian and Swiss mountains.

I had several numbers in my list. Do Re Mi i do like. Sound of music as well. But in the end i decided for this one, My Favourite Things. I do enjoy the rhythm, the rhymes, the playing with the colors and all the different sort of things you may like. From the exotic, raindrops on roses, to the plain, brown paper packages tied up with strings. Silver white winters that melt into springs. Love love love!

My favourite things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

The original scene from the Sound of Music

Published on January 6, 2016 at 6:00 by Ellen

Categorised in: Songs

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A walk in Rotterdam: the Kralingse Bos

A walk in the Kralingse Bos today. It did start to rain a bit halfway, i was happy to have a hood on my coat.

I went through some parts i never visited before.

First i walked through the children’s farm. I had seen it before, but went around it then. This time i looked at the rabbits, the chickens, the ravens outside looking for the food of the chickens, the goats, the sheep, the ponies, a cow, the birds. There was a huge grey bunny, sitting there washing himself. Huge!

I went to the Heemtuin after that. This is sort of a botanical garden, with a focus on communities. The Heemtuin was close to the water, with long curvature paths all through it.

I walked past the lake towards the golf terrain at the east side of the forest. It started to rain pretty hard then. I did remember the shepherd telling me there were orchids flowering near the golf terrain. But that is in summer. Even though i could see new plants coming up and buds on the branches, because of the unusual warm wether the past weeks, orchids need a bit more warmth i suppose.

I walked out of the park, went up the Laan of Nooitgedacht. Discovered the tram, as of today, would not go this far because of work on the roads. So i walked up to the tube at the Voorschoterlaan and went home. Two and a half hours it took me.

Some people said hello, some said good day, some said nothing, didn’t even look my way.

When i entered the tube station a woman sitting across on the other platform was watching me and smiling while i looked into a mirrored wall and slightly adjusted my hair. I smiled back.

I remember sitting on a bench and watching the city skyline. The sounds of far off cars was all around. I don’t think you can find a silent spot anywhere near the big cities in the Netherlands.

I also picked up a worm crawling on the asphalt path. I set it down in the grass. No idea if i helped him with that. It just seemed to me to be a better spot for the worm. Ground to dive into.

Enjoy the photos i made!

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Last week, in my one week off, my one week holiday, my one week of not thinking about posts, what to write, photograph, sing or make, last week i went to a movie. Star Wars: The Force Awakens. In Cinerama, on Wednesday 30 December 2015, starting at 14.10 CET.

I told in The world is terrible i did see the original first movie in 1977 in the cinema. I went together with my nephew. We went out to eat a Big Mac in the new McDonald on the Coolsingel in Rotterdam, before or after.

What I did not mention, i never saw the two upcoming movies in the cinema. I was into new wave music, read less science fiction, and i didn’t go to these blockbuster movies anymore. So yeah, even though i was a sci fi fan for quite some time, that did disappear too for around ten years.

I did enjoy the movie. Especially the beginning. Some parts i was puzzled by. Some parts i felt were taken very lightly.

I will talk about this after the break. Completely spoilerish! So please, if you haven’t seen this movie yet, stay away from that part!

Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer