Author Archives for Ellen

In which Pooh and Piglet go hunting and nearly catch a woozle

THE Piglet lived in a very grand house in the middle of a beech-tree, and the beech-tree was in the middle of the forest, and the Piglet lived in the middle of the house. Next to his house was a piece of broken board which had: “TRESPASSERS W” on it. When Christopher Robin asked the Piglet what it meant, he said it was his grandfather’s name, and had been in the family for a long time. Christopher Robin said you couldn’t be called Trespassers W, and Piglet said yes, you could, because his grandfather was, and it was short for Trespassers Will, which was short for Trespassers William. And his grandfather had had two names in case he lost one—Trespassers after an uncle, and William after Trespassers.

“I’ve got two names,” said Christopher Robin carelessly.

“Well, there you are, that proves it,” said Piglet.

One fine winter’s day when Piglet was brushing away the snow in front of his house, he happened to look up, and there was Winnie-the-Pooh. Pooh was walking round and round in a circle, thinking of something else, and when Piglet called to him, he just went on walking.

“Hallo!” said Piglet, “what are you doing?”

“Hunting,” said Pooh.

“Hunting what?”

“Tracking something,” said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously.

“Tracking what?” said Piglet, coming closer

“That’s just what I ask myself. I ask myself, What?”

“What do you think you’ll answer?”

“I shall have to wait until I catch up with it,” said Winnie-the-Pooh. “Now, look there.” He pointed to the ground in front of him. “What do you see there?”

“Tracks,” said Piglet. “Paw-marks.” He gave a little squeak of excitement. “Oh, Pooh! Do you think it’s a—a—a Woozle?”

“It may be,” said Pooh. “Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t. You never can tell with paw-marks.”

With these few words he went on tracking, and Piglet, after watching him for a minute or two, ran after him. Winnie-the-Pooh had come to a sudden stop, and was bending over the tracks in a puzzled sort of way.

“What’s the matter?” asked Piglet.

“It’s a very funny thing,” said Bear, “but there seem to be two animals now. This—whatever-it-was—has been joined by another—whatever-it-is—

and the two of them are now proceeding in company. Would you mind coming with me, Piglet, in case they turn out to be Hostile Animals?”

Piglet scratched his ear in a nice sort of way, and said that he had nothing to do until Friday, and would be delighted to come, in case it really was a Woozle.

“You mean, in case it really is two Woozles,” said Winnie-the-Pooh, and Piglet said that anyhow he had nothing to do until Friday. So off they went together.

There was a small spinney of larch trees just here, and it seemed as if the two Woozles, if that is what they were, had been going round this spinney; so round this spinney went Pooh and Piglet after them; Piglet passing the time by telling Pooh what his Grandfather Trespassers W had done to Remove Stiffness after Tracking, and how his Grandfather Trespassers W had suffered in his later years from Shortness of Breath, and other matters of interest, and Pooh wondering what a Grandfather was like, and if perhaps this was Two Grandfathers they were after now, and, if so, whether he would be allowed to take one home and keep it, and what Christopher Robin would say. And still the tracks went on in front of them….

Suddenly Winnie-the-Pooh stopped, and pointed excitedly in front of him. “Look!”

“What?” said Piglet, with a jump. And then, to show that he hadn’t been frightened, he jumped up and down once or twice more in an exercising sort of way.

“The tracks!” said Pooh. “A third animal has joined the other two!” “Pooh!” cried Piglet “Do you think it is another Woozle?”

“No,” said Pooh, “because it makes different marks. It is either Two Woozles and one, as it might be, Wizzle, or Two, as it might be, Wizzles and one, if so it is, Woozle. Let us continue to follow them.”

So they went on, feeling just a little anxious now, in case the three animals in front of them were of Hostile Intent. And Piglet wished very much that his Grandfather T. W. were there, instead of elsewhere, and Pooh thought how nice it would be if they met Christopher Robin suddenly but quite accidentally, and only because he liked Christopher Robin so much. And then, all of a sudden, Winnie-the-Pooh stopped again, and licked the tip of his nose in a cooling manner, for he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever in his life before. There were four animals in front of them!

“Do you see, Piglet? Look at their tracks! Three, as it were, Woozles, and one, as it was, Wizzle. Another Woozle has joined them!”

And so it seemed to be. There were the tracks; crossing over each other here, getting muddled up with each other there; but, quite plainly every now and then, the tracks of four sets of paws.

“I think,” said Piglet, when he had licked the tip of his nose too, and found that it brought very little comfort, “I think that I have just remembered something. I have just remembered something that I forgot to do yesterday and sha’n’t be able to do to-morrow. So I suppose I really ought to go back and do it now.”

“We’ll do it this afternoon, and I’ll come with you,” said Pooh.

“It isn’t the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon,” said Piglet quickly. “It’s a very particular morning thing, that has to be done in the morning, and, if possible, between the hours of What would you say the time was?”

“About twelve,” said Winnie-the-Pooh, looking at the sun.

“Between, as I was saying, the hours of twelve and twelve five. So, really, dear old Pooh, if you’ll excuse me—What’s that.”

Pooh looked up at the sky, and then, as he heard the whistle again, he looked up into the branches of a big oak-tree, and then he saw a friend of his.

“It’s Christopher Robin,” he said.

“Ah, then you’ll be all right,” said Piglet.

“You’ll be quite safe with him. Good-bye,” and he trotted off home as quickly as he could, very glad to be Out of All Danger again.

Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree.

“Silly old Bear,” he said, “what were you doing? First you went round the spinney twice by yourself, and then Piglet ran after you and you went round again together, and then you were just going round a fourth time”

“Wait a moment,” said Winnie-the-Pooh, holding up his paw.

He sat down and thought, in the most thoughtful way he could think. Then he fitted his paw into one of the Tracks …and then he scratched his nose twice, and stood up.

“Yes,” said Winnie-the-Pooh.

“I see now,” said Winnie-the-Pooh.

“I have been Foolish and Deluded,” said he, “and I am a Bear of no Brain at All.”

“You’re the Best Bear in All the World,” said Christopher Robin soothingly.

“Am I?” said Pooh hopefully. And then he brightened up suddenly.

“Anyhow,” he said, “it is nearly Luncheon Time.”

So he went home for it.


Published on May 27, 2022 at 6:00 by

Moving again

This morning i walked out of the house i live in, i took a few steps and was called by a good friend who was on his way to work. He asked me how i was. I started to cry. I couldn’t help myself. A woman was standing in her window below where he lived and asked what was wrong. She said she was going on a holiday today (= Monday) and that i could live in her house for three to four weeks.

I will move in today, after three o’clock. It is a short term solution of course. I do need to think about a long term one. But it does buy me a bit more time. So still, yay!

Published on May 24, 2022 at 6:00 by

The day after

The past few weeks i’ve been having mixed and elevated emotions. Saturday morning i went for a walk. I sat outside of a coffee bar, drank a cappuccino and read the newspaper. After i finished i walked into the center of town. I was looking at the people and the shops with a distant and observing feeling. I enjoy walking into the center, not to buy anything but to look at the people.

At the market i talked with a friend. I confessed i collapsed during a phone talk with my mother the day before. Stupid filthy money. Stupid filthy world. Nothing goes as i want. The past eight years i have given up everything i have. My house. My work. I’m sitting here with nothing to show for it. I have let everything come to nothing.

That is what i keep saying to myself. This is not true of course. I have learned so much. About myself. About the world. About other people. Yes i was scared. Yes i kept it as low risk as possible. I sold my house with the provision i could keep living in it for two more years. I paid for my livelihood from the money i made with selling my house. Now i’m here, no where left to turn to.

Why? Why did i do this? Why did i let it all fall out of my hands? Why?

I can not disguise this hopeless feeling i have with feeling in love, doing the best i can, fighting for my life the only way i think possible. That all means nothing in the face of my going broke. Being against war, against the weapon industry, the oil industry, the agricultural industry, that is all fine sure. But it leads me nowhere.

What made me decide to go this way? What drove me? It is all gone. I wish i could run back to my old home, hide away and live my life safely away from prying eyes.

I have nothing left to go back to. Here i am, alone, no money, no home. I have some friends, but i can not live off them. Where do i go from here?

I would like to say i wish i knew, but i do not know. Time will tell. Until the time things will be a bit clearer, i can only try to stay calm. It will not be the end of the world.

Published on May 23, 2022 at 6:00 by

The whole wide world

Tuesday i went to the market and the library. In the library i read the papers. When i walked back home i met a friend. The next couple of hours we spend talking about all sorts of things: sex, our livelihood, friends, conflicts, people we both know.

The day before i had a talk with my current house boss. It was a good talk, he was clear minded and well spoken. He called me fatalistic, waiting for an accident sure to happen soon. I do not agree with him, but i do see his point.

I am getting closer to taking a new direction in my life. My money is running out. It is difficult to describe my feelings to other people. What do i really really want to do with my life? What matters the most to me? What sort of job would i like to work in? What makes my life worth living?

What would i enjoy doing? Singing! I know i’m not terribly good at it, but i love it. Dancing! I love to dance! I love to make videos, but content is hard to reach the past years. I love to talk. Plenty of things i love to do. But it is all not significant to other people. That is not a job they say. That is simply something you enjoy doing! But why should a job be different from the things you enjoy doing?

Yesterday evening i felt a happiness which filled me up right to the top. How come, while i have only enough money to last me a month or two. Am i crazy? Deluded?

I am alone. This gives me pros and cons. I do not need to give attention to anyone. I don’t get attention myself.

I am not the most beautiful woman in the world. I am not the smartest. I am not the most skilled woman. I may be an artist, i am not sure. I may be a singer, a dancer, a talker. I don’t know.

I am determined. I am not letting go. I do not give up.

‘The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.’

This step was taken a long time ago.

Source photo: Tao van Poeh, Benjamin Hoff

Published on May 20, 2022 at 6:00 by

Repeat I’m Not In Love

I’m not in love – 10CC
I’m not in love, so don’t forget it
It’s just a silly phase I’m going through
And just because I call you up
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think you’ve got it made

I’m not in love, no-no
(It’s because)

I like to see you, but then again
That doesn’t mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don’t make a fuss
Don’t tell your friends about the two of us

I’m not in love, no-no
(It’s because)

Be quiet, big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry
Big boys don’t cry

I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that’s lyin’ there
So don’t you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn’t mean that much to me

I’m not in love, no-no
(It’s because)

Ooh, you’ll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time

I’m not in love, so don’t forget it
It’s just a silly phase I’m going through
And just because I call you up
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think you’ve got it made, ooh

I’m not in love
I’m not in love

Published on May 19, 2022 at 6:00 by


This weekend the following youtube video was published: ‘Ideologie houdt ons gelukkig. Een gesprek met Marian Donner (Ideology keeps us happy. A talk with Marian Donner). Her new book De Grote Weigering (The Big Refusal) was the main focus of this talk. This book is for a large part based on the book One-Dimensional Man published by Herbert Marcuse in 1964. In this book he argues the following:

He argues that “advanced industrial society” created false needs, which integrated individuals into the existing system of production and consumption via mass media, advertising, industrial management, and contemporary modes of thought.

This results in a “one-dimensional” universe of thought and behavior, in which aptitude and ability for critical thought and oppositional behavior wither away. Against this prevailing climate, Marcuse promotes the “great refusal” (described at length in the book) as the only adequate opposition to all-encompassing methods of control. Much of the book is a defense of “negative thinking” as a disrupting force against the prevailing positivism.

It is very hard to realize this one-dimensionality. Most people see themselves are ordinary, ‘normal’, simply living their lives as they see fit. Picking their shopping each week, picking their apps and living with them, getting children or not, picking a partner, or a partner for a couple of years. Most people see themselves as an individual, with its own specific wishes and desires and wants and needs.

But of course most people are shaped through the same industrial society with its mass media, advertising, industrial management and contemporary modes of thought. Most people are extremely alike.

Published on May 17, 2022 at 6:00 by