Author Archives for Ellen

The last post of the year 2022

When i think back on a year ago it feels like it is miles and miles away from now. I know where i was at that time, i know where i lived. But it feels like an insurmountable collection of mountains and canyons with only a small path going through the streams, over the glaciers, through the woods and on the plains.

Since July i have been working as a home help. It was not what i wanted, but right now i’m happy to be doing this work. I work with all different sorts of people. I am still learning to do this job with pleasure. One day goes better than the the other, but it is going well. In my humble opinion.

Today i made a walk through the commercial centre of the city. I danced with a group of singers on the Beursplein. Enjoyable! I talked with a woman in front of Cheap Fashion, where we started talking about the pink and silver clothes in the shop window.

I feel happy. Joyful. I sang a bit myself when i walked away from the singers. Lovely.

I hope you will have some nice days over the coming holidays. Alone, or with family, or with friends.

A big hug from me to you. Salute!

Published on December 19, 2022 at 6:00 by

A small thought

Tomorrow i will be working once again. There is a small piece of resistance within me, which i need to fight. Tomorrow morning i hopefully will not be thinking about it and i will simply go to work.

I am still learning.

Salute! Enjoy the week. 🙂

Published on December 12, 2022 at 6:00 by

Preponderance of the Small

62. Hsiao Kuo / Preponderance of the Small


While in the hexagram Ta Kuo, PREPONDERANCE OF THE GREAT (28), the strong lines preponderate and are within, inclosed between weak lines at the top and bottom, the present hexagram has weak lines preponderating, though here again they are on the outside, the strong lines being within. This indeed is the basis of the exceptional situation indicated by the hexagram. When strong lines are outside, we have the hexagram I, PROVIDING NOURISHMENT (27), or Chung Fu, INNER TRUTH, (61); neither represents and exceptional state. When strong elements within preponderate, they necessarily enforce their will. This creates struggle and exceptional conditions in general. But in the present hexagram it is the weak element that perforce must mediate with the outside world. If a man occupies a position of authority for which he is by nature really inadequate, extraordinary prudence is necessary.


Perseverance furthers.
Small things may be done; great things should not be done.
The flying bird brings the message:
It is not well to strive upward,
It is well to remain below.
Great good fortune.

Exceptional modesty and conscientiousness are sure to be rewarded with success; however, if a man is not to throw himself away, it is important that they should not become empty form and subservience but be combined always with a correct dignity in personal behavior. We must understand the demands of the time in order to find the necessary offset for its deficiencies and damages. In any event we must not count on great success, since the requisite strength is lacking. In this lies the importance of the message that one should not strive after lofty things but hold to lowly things.
The structure of the hexagram gives rise to the idea that this message is brought by a bird. In Ta Kuo, PREPONDERANCE OF THE GREAT (28), the four strong, heavy lines within, supported only by two weak lines without, give the image of a sagging ridgepole. Here the supporting weak lines are both outside and preponderant; this gives the image of a soaring bird. But a bird should not try to surpass itself and fly into the sun; it should descend to the earth, where its nest is. In this way it gives the message conveyed by the hexagram.


Thunder on the mountain:
Thus in his conduct the superior man gives preponderance to reverence.
In bereavement he gives preponderance to grief.
In his expenditures he gives preponderance to thrift.

Thunder on the mountain is different from thunder on the plain. In the mountains, thunder seems much nearer; outside the mountains, it is less audible than the thunder of an ordinary storm. Thus the superior man derives an imperative from this image: he must always fix his eyes more closely and more directly on duty than does the ordinary man, even though this might make his behavior seem petty to the outside world. He is exceptionally conscientious in his actions. In bereavement emotion means more to him than ceremoniousness. In all his personal expenditures he is extremely simple and unpretentious. In comparison with the man of the masses, all this makes him stand out as exceptional. But the essential significance of his attitude lies in the fact that in external matters he is on the side of the lowly.

Published on December 5, 2022 at 6:00 by

Life moves on

Sitting here in front of my computer, the cat Knorrepot on my lap, trying to think of something meaningful to write. I fail at that today. I almost forgot to make a post for tomorrow.

The cat purrs softly. It is cold. That is all fine with me. Tomorrow i am going to work. I am trying to do my best, trying to work hard. Sometimes i fail, other times i succeed.

The cat left my lap.

Wishing you a good week. Salute!

Published on November 21, 2022 at 6:00 by


I had to look up this title in a thesaurus. I started with the word restful. Still, calm are both used. I am not sure what is in Still.

Aah, it is a transparent gif. It is mend to look like it does, empty. Got me fooled.

Motionless does fit. Another working week ahead of me. I enjoy it most of the time. It is fine for now. Still so many things to learn.


Published on November 7, 2022 at 6:00 by


For four months i have worked. I do enjoy working for most of my clients. For some more than others. For some not at all. But most people are friendly and nice. Cleaning up house for people who are not able to do it themselves is worth doing. It doesn’t pay well, but for now it is enough.

But i do feel unhappy. I do not cry. On the whole i feel ok, i enjoy working most of the time. But my life is not what i wish it to be. I don’t have any really close friends, i don’t have any children, i don’t have any close contact with my family, apart from my mother. My life feels empty. It is not i want to fill my life up thoughtlessly, absolutely not. I am learning every day. But i do feel an impatience in me. When is it going to happen? Whatever it is.

My wishes might not come true. I might die in an ocean of solitude. I might never get there, wherever there may be. I still need to fight in me with myself.

My unhappiness is not important. It is a feeling i have within me, nothing more. I have to come to terms with it. That is difficult, but not impossible.

Another working week ahead of me. I hope you are doing well. Best wishes. Salute!

Published on October 31, 2022 at 6:00 by

One way or another

The last couple of days i find myself thinking of finding a job nursing. I will start looking for a job together with an education. I also know the company i work for now has some possibilities, but it does take longer. My current job, cleaning houses for the sick and/or elderly i find to be very valuable. It is not fun, it is not entertaining, but i feel my time is well spend and the people do value my time i commit to them. The only drawback is that it doesn’t pay well.

I hope this idea bears fruit. I hope i am not too old.

I am working on my cv right now. I will write to a hospital early this week. The signs tell that they are really missing nurses, so here i am hoping.

Enjoy the week! Salute!

2. Soul Food

Everybody on earth knowing
that beauty is beautiful
makes ugliness.

Everybody knowing
that goodness is good
makes wickedness.

For being and nonbeing
arise together;
hard and easy
complete each other;
long and short
shape each other;
high and low
depend on each other;
note and voice
make the music together;
before and after
follow each other.

That’s why the wise soul
does without doing,
teaches without talking.

The things of this world
exist, they are;
you can’t refuse them.

To bear and not to own;
to act and not lay claim;
to do the work and let it go:
for just letting it go
is what makes it stay.

Published on October 17, 2022 at 6:00 by