Author Archives for Ellen

The finger

Today it’s really hot here in the Netherlands. When i sit quietly, i still sweat. I decided to not go walking. Hopefully next week the temperature is a bit lower. I decided not to song too. I did wanna do Top of the world by the Carpenters, but hey! next week.

So instead the finger when i saw this article on the avclub.com today: A supercut of people in movies giving the middle finger is surprisingly satisfying. It just made me laugh. So here it is for you, the finger.

In the comments someone linked this one, which i think is brilliant.

The Bird

I did do some more searches. In the clip ‘the finger’ is mentioned. I looked that up on the urbandictionary.com. The 20 words related to the finger are good too.

middle finger – the bird – fuck you – flip off – flip the bird – one finger salute – the middle finger – bird – fuck – fuck off – up yours – double birds – finger – flipping off – fu – hepatitis c – im middle salute – rude gesture – throw the unicorn

the finger
means fuck you…enuff said
like this
……………………./´¯/)
………………….,/¯..//
…………………/…./ /
…………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸
………./’/…/…./……./¨¯\
……..(‘(…´(..´……,~/’…’)
………\……………..\/…./
……….”…\………. _.·´
…………\…………..(
…………..\………….\

The wikipedia page is a lot more serious.

It communicates moderate to extreme contempt, and is roughly equivalent in meaning to “fuck off”, “fuck you”, “shove it up your ass”, “up yours” or “go fuck yourself.”

They do trace the gesture back to the ancient Greeks. It could be even older than that. Nowadays it’s still widely used. Many, many pictures exist.

When i get mad, i do actually use it myself. I do remember a few months ago i used it in traffic, when i crossed the street. Not sure what happened, but i got mad. So there. It’s not like i get mad every day, it is a rather rare event. Honestly!

Published on July 3, 2015 at 6:00 by

My world map, phase 5

Taylor Swift
taylorswiftI like some of her songs. I haven’t heard them all. I do know she writes on of her songs herself, most of the time together with other people. She is extremely popular.
“She really is that girl in the tiny little bedroom at home writing songs about the things she hopes and dreams and feels.”
I’m not sure what to think of her myself. It is hard when you do not know someone in real life anyway. It is also hard with the media putting up shrines and mirrors all the time. Let’s just see what will happen.

Katy Perry
katyperryKaty perry is someone i am also really unsure about. These people are living at such a distance from me, it is hard to relate to them. I do know we all have the same desires, but so many different ways of trying to attain them. I read things i like about her. Queen of quirk. I like that. I don’t like all her songs. I only know the hits anyway. A song like Roar i basically can not listen to. But i do like California Gurls. And i do like her clothes, and the hair. The clips i like too, nut sure how much of a say she had in them though. I do think she deserves a place on my world map. Still.. not sure entirely.

Paul McCartney
paulmccartneyPfff… my sister actually went to one of his concerts here int the Netherlands a couple of weeks ago. And i do remember young people asking “Who is this guy” after he did something with Kanye West. I won’t insult you with telling his life story here. You can click on his name and read about him on wikipedia if you want to. His name simply popped in my head. Hard to ignore to be honest. I love many of his songs. Eleanor Rigby, Fool on the hill, Hey Jude, Let it be, Penny Lane, Band on the run, Live and let die. I do also know i don’t like all the things he did. He does have a sort of .. soapy side to him. A bit too sweet. But yet. I find myself thinking now i would like to read a book about the Beatles and Lennon / McCartney. I did do a search for a bio, of which there are plenty. To find the right one though.

Paul Thomas Anderson
paulthomasandersonA film director. I watched his movie Boogie Nights in the cinema. I loved it.
“But while it’s very funny, Boogie Nights taps into something much deeper with its on-target depiction of the shifting political and social tides of the ’70s and ’80s and thoughtful relationships between characters. It’s a deeply satisfying movie.”
Magnolia i’m not sure if i saw it in the cinema. I do have the dvd. Some long shots are embedded in my mind. I’ve seen it like 3 to 4 times. But its been a while. To me film directors are just creating magic. I don’t know how they get to this point of making a film. Of course it is a long journey, with many try outs. Not a journey i ever wished for myself no. But i greatly admire people who wanna try and do it.

Philip Seymour Hoffman
philipseymourhoffmanI probably saw Hoffman in Boogie Nights first. I do think i saw another film he plays in on the Rotterdam Film Festival, Happiness directed by Todd Solondz. Capote, in which Hoffman plays the lead roll, i saw later on. The Master, directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, i did try to watch, but i stopped halfway. Maybe one day i’ll try again. It’s just, i know it’s good, excellent even, but a part of me rejects the darkness and.. well… masculinity of these movies. Not sure i’m saying this right. I don’t know.

Julianne Moore
juliannemooreI just read on the wikipedia page she played a part in Spielberg’s sequel to Jurassic Park, The Lost World: Jurassic Park. I might have seen it on tv. But i did see her in Boogie Nights. I love it she is so braod in her work, ranging from independent movie’s to large-scale Hollywood productions. I don’t know anything about her personal life, apart from the fact that it’s deeply private. I did read though she is a writer too. I’m liking that!

Meryl Streep
merylstreepTo be honest, i just wanted her picture on the map. I think i’ve seen most of her movies, from The Deer Hunter, Kramer vs. Kramer, Sophie’s Choice, Adaptation, The Devil wears Prada, Julie & Julia, The Iron Lady, Into the Woods. And there are so many more.

“So I’ve always been really, deeply interested, because I think I can understand the solace that’s available in the whole construct of religion. But I really don’t believe in the power of prayer, or things would have been avoided that have happened, that are awful. So it’s a horrible position as an intelligent, emotional, yearning human being to sit outside of the available comfort there. But I just can’t go there.”

Published on July 2, 2015 at 6:00 by

New haring

Since 18 June the new haring is in the land. They are a Dutch delicacy. There are many free standing stalls around town where you can buy only haring and sometimes other fish too. I bought mine today at the stall close to the Albert Heijn nearby. I had two to take with me and one on a sandwich to eat straightaway.

I made a salad, inspired on the salad i saw in a book i have Koken als Kaatje. It’s not as fancy plated, but i still liked it lots.

Ingredients

  • spring onions
  • fresh garlic
  • 2 harings, slightly frozen (mine were in the freezer for around 4 hours)
  • Granny Smith apple
  • fresh basil
  • fresh tarragon
  • olive oil
  • vinegar ( i used apple cider vinegar, but you can use a white wine if you wish)
  • salt
  • pepper
  • mustard

Making the salad

  1. i bought the harings around 2 – i went back home, cut away their tails, wrapped them in cling film and put them in the freezer for like 4 hours
  2. at dinnertime i made the dressing, the vinegar, salt, pepper and mustard whisked, olove oil added
  3. the spring onions chived and added to the dressing
  4. got the harings from the freezer and laid them on the working bench
  5. i used the mandoline to cut the Granny Smith apple in 2 mm thick slices, cut those in small square pieces and added them to the dressing
  6. i cut the haring in thin slices, also around 2 – 3 mm thick and laid them on top of the salad
  7. i sliced basil and tarragon
  8. after thinking for a bit, i decided to toss everything together, i left it standing till the haring was fully defrosted
  9. enjoy!

This was delicious!

Last week i ate the haring with oven roasted beetroot and boiled potatoes. It’s all pink though, but still yummy! And of course a new haring eaten with its tail in your hand is good too. The really young new haring i eat without onions usually, but sometimes it is good with onions too.

I’m not sure people not from the Netherlands will enjoy this as much as we do. To me, they are simply delicious, but i’m also used to them. So well.. you should give it a try!

2015-06-30-19.13.22

Published on July 1, 2015 at 6:00 by

Björk

Today i listened to Björk‘s new album Vulnicura. I know it was realised earlier this year, but it wasn’t on spotify yet, and to be honest, i forgot about it. Today i did some browsing and it jumped back in my mind and i did a search and yay! i found it.

In the 90s i was a big fan of Björk. I have Post and Homogenic. I also have a copy of Selmasongs.

I did loose sight of her over time. I haven’t ever listened to her newer albums, from 2001 onwards. I might listen to them one time. I do like her last album though, but i have only heard it once. 🙂

Her video’s are extraordinary. In here, again, i favour the earlier ones. You can watch a few of them after the break.

Enjoy 🙂

Read more…

Published on June 30, 2015 at 6:00 by

Nights of passion

She lays her head on the old pillow on her couch. She tries to read one of the books she got from her attic. Her eyes grow heavy. Her whole body starts to feel like it is floating in the air. Nothing keeps her tied to the ground anymore. It is becoming dark. A faint smile still floats on her face. The hand is still holding the book, slightly dropping, the open page softly turning so she couldn’t even read it even if she wanted to. The sounds of people working outside softly comes to her. The whimper of the steel shop carriers crawls to her ears. A soft talking comes to her of people walking below her window. The humming of the cars creates a backdrop which is almost unaudible. She drifts away into a endless darkness of quiet.

inbetween

Her eyes pop open. She looks around. She still feels the weight of her body, falling into sleep. She stretches her arm and gets her glasses, lying on the old hospital cupboard next to her couch. She fell asleep for only 15 minutes. Her mind starts to think. If she makes a pasta sauce now, she could have a little nap later on.
She stands up.
It is only a quarter to five. She opens the door to the hallway and walks into the kitchen. Let’s see. Some tomatoes. A pepper. A courgette. An onion. Garlic. That will do. She slices up all the vegetables. She adds some olive oil to the pan, turns on the fire beneath it and adds the onions and garlic. The sliced pepper. The courgette. The tomatoes. She turns down the gas till it is at it lowest level and puts on the cover of the pan. That’ll take like three quarters of an hour to make a nice sauce.

inbetween

She gets the book she was reading from the front room. She walks to her bedroom. She feels a bit aroused. She closes the curtains. She takes of her clothes and lies on the bed beneath a cotton sheet, wrapping it around her body. She starts to read. Her body slowly moves beneath the sheet. She feels the lovely throb inside her. Her eyes are following the words on the page in the darkness of the room suffused with the light coming through the chinks in the curtains. Her hand caresses her breasts. The soft velvety skin glides beneath her fingers. Her soft nipples slightly harden when her fingertips slowly moves over them. Her hand moves over her body, following the lines of the side from the top to below her waist. It slides over her behind and gently strokes its cheeks. Her fingers glide up her back towards her shoulder blades. With her nails making a faint impression, her fingers go down again and stroke the top of her butt crack. Her body keeps on moving slowly. Her hand goes over the top of her legs, feeling the muscles beneath the skin.
She lies the book beside her on the small chest.

inbetween

Only halfway she turns her body. The sheet she moves to below her breasts. Her fingers keep on stroking her nipples which become more erect. Her right hand thumb glides into her mouth. The smell of her hand simultaneously soothes and excites her. Her eyes are half open, looking upwards to the ceiling. A groan escapes her mouth. She can feel the moistness between her legs. Her right hands move over her belly towards the slight wetness between her legs. She puts her middle finger on the front bit and her body stretches out, her legs move apart. Her entire body lies completely naked in the darkness, moving in a languorous rhythm up and down. Her middle finger presses and releases her clitoris. The other fingers feel the lips of her pussy getting heavier. Her finger goes further down and spreads the moistness all around.
Her breath is getting heavier.

inbetween

Her body pulls itself from her bed and the movements of it are getting fiercer. Her finger glides from her vagina to her clit and back again. Her other finger is stroking her nipples. They are getting harder. Her thoughts are not under her control anymore. A flash of memory goes through her mind. A yearning for a man in her life disappears almost as fast as it came. She tries to think of her neighbours. She doesn’t want them to hear her moan, but the breathing does come harder. She can feel the tension building up inside her. There is no softness anymore, but a dedicated search for a release.
A deep throb inside her gives her a short time of pleasure. She feels the weight of her body, turns around and pulls the sheets around her. She still makes slight movements, but they are full of memories of the forgetfulness her body gave her for a short time. She closes her eyes for a while and enjoys the relaxation she feels.

inbetween

She stands up. She puts on her panties and her bra, the tank top and the sport pants she was wearing. She opens up the curtains and let the light in the room once more. She walks to the kitchen and checks the pasta sauce. Hmm, still like 15 minutes to go. She gets her book and reads on further in her front room.

tobecontinued

Published on June 29, 2015 at 6:00 by

Mieke and Muis

Today was a quiet day. I did do some work. Yes, i still have small jobs i do. Webdesign, front-end work. Nothing really big, but it is still good.

I did a short trip to the shops and got some cat food. I drank a cup of latte at the Coffee Company close to my home. I read the newspaper there, the NRC Next. I went to the doctor and made an appointment for tomorrow. I laid on my couch late in the afternoon. Almost fell asleep. Late in the afternoon i took a shower and washed my hair.

I know, i think i know what i’m gonna do for next monday. Tomorrow, friday, i will start. I do want to get it right. But, no more telling about that now, you’ll find out soon enough!

For today, i made some pictures of my cats. Mieke (pronounced as Meekuh) and Muis (this means Mouse, pronunciation is close to it, vowels are a bit different, not sure how to explain really). There were on the pad in front of the window. They still are right now! I do feel guilty sometimes, they cannot go outside. This house is all they know. They do go on the balcony when the door is open, they lie there in the sunshine in the morning. They are my treasures!

Gonna go and see what is on tv this evening. Enjoy your weekend!

Read more…

Published on June 26, 2015 at 6:00 by

My world map, phase 4

Tinkebell
tinkebellI do follow Tinkebell on twitter. I thought i did too on facebook, but i just looked at the page i liked at the last activity was in 2014. So it seems another page is the page where she is most active on. I just liked that one.
I do remember reading about the handbag she made of her cat in 2004. The book she made in 2009, with hate mail and death threats she had recieved over the years. The 2013 calendar she made for 2 girls living in the Philippines.
Now i read her posts on twitter. I sometimes click through and read columns she writes for the Dutch newspaper Trouw.
I do really admire her. She has guts. She stands for what she believes in. She fights for it. In the gleaming thirsty eyes of the media. Deep bow.

Jeffrey Zeldman
jeffreyzeldmanI bought his book Designing with Web Standards in 2003. It changed my professional life. The way i wanted to live it.
30 May his website was twenty years old. He wrote a post about being “creative“. Which i do agree with, wholeheartedly.

A List Apart was launched as a mailing list in 1997. The next year it turned into a website. It is still part of my rss feeds. It’s not that i read every article published, but some i do love. Salute!

Joris Luyendijk
Joris-LuyendijkJoris Luyendijk’s last book is a smash hit in the Netherlands, Dit kan niet waar zijn (This cannot be true). Basis of this book was his time spend in the London City and writing a blog with interviews with City bankers for the Guardian. I haven’t read any of his books yet, but i did follow his interviews about his last book. A good journalist. Chapeau!

Ewald Engelen
Ewald-EngelenEwald Engelen i noticed with his criticism on Europe, universities, TTIP, banks, economics among other things. He writes a column for the Groene Amsterdammer. He is not afraid to speak his mind. Most of his articles are in Dutch. On several issues he linked to on Facebook i got very upset. Quite mad actually. I still can. Bow.

Matthijs van Nieuwkerk
matthijsvannieuwkerkA television presenter of still one of my favourite shows on Dutch tv, De wereld draait door (The world keeps turning). It’s on 5 times a week during the season, from September till December, January till May. It is known for its fast talking presenter, short interviews with the current news worthy guests. I usually do check out if there are any interesting people or subjects in the show. My favourite thing to watch is the Top 2000 à Go-Go shown in December. Even though i do realise there is a hard formula behind the show, with many decisions made to keep people watching, i still do enjoy it. I do like van Nieuwkerk. He looks cute too. Too bad he is married. 🙂 Kudos!

David Foster Wallace
OUT932182When i started this map, i decided i wasn’t going to put in anybody who was dead. That excluded many many people. And then i thought of David Foster Wallace. I have his book Infinite Jest. I haven’t read it yet, but i’m pretty sure i will once during my life. Hoping, of course. I also have his book Everything and more. Still reading that one. But i’m afraid my reading these days doesn’t have the highest priority. Half of it goes beyond my understanding, but i still enjoy it. So after some thought, i decided to put in David Foster Wallace. Because of his commencement speeches. His interviews. His books. His sad death. Rest in peace.

“Because here’s something else that’s weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship—be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles—is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.”

Published on June 25, 2015 at 6:00 by

Teen books

I have a room in the attic. It is a place to store stuff. Four apartments have a room there. When i went to London, fifteen years ago, to live there for a while, i put a lot of boxes with all my stuff there. It was stacked. After like 7 months, when i got back, i left a few boxes there. I might have taken a quick look to see what was in there, and thought that i didn’t need any of it.

Well, for like once a week i’ve been going upstairs and looked around. I took down a box full of books. The books i read when i was like 8 till 14 years old. Some of them i was even older.

The past week i read some of the books in there again. Which gave me a lot of pleasure!

Yes, i first read the Bouquet series books. This series is still available. It was like… 30 years that i last read these? The earliest one i have is number 62, which was published in the Netherlands in 1976. I was twelve then. I admit, the first books in these series were rather prudish. It was kissing mostly, feeling excitement yes, but no sex until you were married! Which usually happened at the end of the book. The later books were a bit more free in that aspect. Some had real proper sex, yay! I definitely had my favourites. There is one i still remember, which i sadly don’t have anymore. I also liked some writes better than others. I still got little red ears while reading a few of these.

I also have a lot of series. Billie Bradley i enjoyed. I didn’t know the series was published from 1920 through 1932. I also have Anne-Marie, a Dutch series. Katy and Zaza are Dutch too. Zaza was the best!

I also have some other Dutch series: Merel, Isabel and Annemieke. Not sure which one of these i liked best. I did like these books, but i don’t think they were my favourites. Some single pocket books, a couple from Leni Saris. I’m readng these again right now. They are different from the Bouquet series, which are mainly about a man – woman development which goes to the ultimate end. These Dutch books do have more of a story in them. The one i’m reading now, the Wingerdrank ( in English it’s well.. wingerd rank), is about a girl who is a journalist whose parent betrayed friends in the second World Was. There is love in there too, of course. It is a romance.

I do know i had the Enid Blyton series too. I now have only a few single books of these series. I think i have given away some of these books. Silly me! I remember the Famous Five. Sometimes i see this as a series on television and i still watch it when i come across it.

In the box there are also some other books, some of them i don’t remember at all. Not sure how i got them.

Well, that is almost it. The pictures are next. Still not sure what to do with them. My bookcases are quite full, but hopefully i can find a proper place for them. It’s good to have these books back in my little house!

Also, after making this post, i will make another post about my books. Lots of sci-fi, fantasy, literature, young adult, art and philosophy. Reading is not a huge part of my life, i do have periods i read lots, but also periods i don’t read anything. Ooh.. and magazines! Pfff.. so much more to come! 🙂

Read more…

Published on June 23, 2015 at 6:00 by

Sometimes

Another song of my favourites list, Sometimes song by Britney Spears. I always liked this song and the corresponding clip. I made a present with Britney in 1999, the year this song was released as a single.

It is of course a very young and withholding song, about a shy girl expressing her reserved and mixed feelings towards the boy she apparently fancies. There is another interpretation that the song is about a former relationship. I can understand that feeling, especially when looking at the video, but from the lyrics i don’t get that idea. The lyrics do say ‘You’ll see that you’re the only one for me” and “If you love me, trust in me”. The refrain for me is the strongest in this song, “Sometimes i run”, “Sometimes i hide”, “Baby all i need is time”. I simply do love these words.

Of course to me, the “uh oh” after “I don’t wanna be so shy” is the selling point of this song.

Sometimes
You tell me, you’re in love with me
Like you can’t take your pretty eyes away from me
It’s not that I don’t want to stay
But every time you come too close, I move away
I wanna believe in everything that you say
‘Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There’s things about me, you just have to know

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby, all I need is time

I don’t wanna be so shy
Every time that I’m alone, I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You’ll see that you’re the only one for me
I wanna believe in everything that you say
‘Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There’s things about me, you just have to know

Sometimes I run
Sometimes, sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby, all I need is time

Come, just hang around and you’ll see
There’s nowhere I’d rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
All I really want is to hold you tight
Be with you day and night

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I’m scared of you
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night

—–

I did find it hard to keep on singing this song in the same key. I sang along with the song several times to get it fixed in my head, but well, i don’t think i really made it. But i’m not entirely unsatisfied with it, so here it goes!

The videoclip

Published on June 22, 2015 at 6:00 by