Vlog #2 The garden

Talking with you, while i’m in the garden. About a talk i had with a friend on Saturday. I’m still uncertain about my current course of action. Blindly working on ellenpronk.com, not looking at the practical issues, my mortgage, my health payments. I’ll be without any money in a month or so.

So i am talking about this now, with you. To get it of my mind a bit, to get it out of myself, out there in the open.

The last bit of this video is a bit blurry. Sorry about that.

Published on September 12, 2016 at 6:00 by

A day off

After yesterday i spend today quieter. I went out for lunch. I walked up to the Witte de Withstraat and ate a Wagamama ramen. Sitting outside half in the shade.

Afterwards i sat for a while near the water at a fountain. Enjoying the summer while it’s still here. Walking through the city center i stopped at the IJssalon and bought a strawberry scoop with whipped cream.

That is it for me for today. Tired.

But also very happy!

<3

Published on September 9, 2016 at 6:00 by

Saving All My Love For You

The idea for this clip popped late last week. Or over the weekend. Not sure to be honest.

I do love this song. Saving All My Love For You. On Whitney Houston’s first album. I bought this album in 1986 or 1987. And i sang along with all my heart and intense. But i did feel really embarrassed about this. Which did not prevent me from using this in my work for art school.

I remember the special evening for the exhibit Sexposition, in 1992. A friend remarked that he would have liked me to sing a song there. Kylie or Whitney. Then, i was simply too afraid to do anything like this. And i couldn’t sing!

Right now, i’m still not the best singer, but i do enjoy it and finally i can sing in public. A bit shy, yes, but still.

So, here it is.

With all my heart, for you.

Enjoy!

Saving All My Love For You – Whitney Houston
A few stolen moments is all that we share
You’ve got your family and they need you there
Though I’ve tried to resist being last on your list
But no other man’s gonna do
So I’m saving all my love for you

It’s not very easy living all alone
My friends try and tell me find a man of my own
But each time I try I just break down and cry
‘Cause I’d rather be home feeling blue
So I’m saving all my love for you

You used to tell me we’d run away together
Love gives you the right to be free
You said be patient just wait a little longer
But that’s just an old fantasy

I’ve got to get ready just a few minutes more
Gonna get that old feeling when you walk through that door
‘Cause tonight is the night for feeling alright
We’ll be making love the whole night through
So I’m saving all my love for you
Yes I’m saving all my love
Yes I’m saving all my love for you

Published on September 8, 2016 at 6:00 by

A walk in Rotterdam: the Oude Noorden and Blijdorp

A week ago i walked around the Old North part of Rotterdam, to the Wilgenplantsoen and the Blokland Garden. I also went past the Gandhi Garden, but it was closed at the time. This week i went to the Gandhi Garden again, at a time i knew it was open.

Still no map available, so i will write you through the walk.

I walked over the Noordsingel and the Bergsingel straight to the Gandhi Garden. I spoke with John for a bit, one of the coordinators there. I told him about my walks and writing about them, informally on this website. After this i walked to the center coffee and tea drinking place. A woman was sitting there with her two dogs, Binti and India. We chatted a bit, i drank a coffee. After that i went into the Gandhi Garden and made some photos and talked with some people working there. Some of them i did recognize from my time working there a few years ago. I told them about my walking project and about the Peace Garden, where i work twice a week.

I walked to the end of the garden, where a lovely hexagonal greenhouse was standing. Inside on one side tomatoes were growing. On the other side, and in the middle there were seedlings growing in small pots.

I walked on a small path further to the back, against the wall of the old train rails. In the deep shade woods and other material was sheltered. I smelled some marihuana, but couldn’t find any plants which were looking like it. A small path went all around the gardens. In the middle the beehives were busy standing there.

I walked back to the center place where someone had made more coffee. It was time for a short break. Ronald came too, i know him from the Peace Garden. He told me there was another area with gardens up the Gordelweg. A good next stop! After i finished my coffee i went with him to the big potato hills, wrapped in chicken wire. Time for the harvest!

After that i said my goodbyes to everyone and walked over the Gordelweg on a path besides the canal. Boat houses were lining up there. Really nice to live there. Passing some chickens i saw vegetable gardens on the other side of the fence. Hoping for an entrance further along, i kept on walking past it up until i could turn the corner and i saw an open gate, lucky for me! These Gordelweg gardens were all single user gardens, some neat, some a bit more messy. Areas for compost in between, and a small sheltered area with a bench and a bit of water separated one area from the next. I didn’t see anyone around, but still, it was good to walk there and let the area slowly sink in.

After that i went back home, walking through Blijdorp. I walked through the Central Station and the city centre. At the Schouwburgplein i bought a bara curry chicken which i ate up walking to the market. The vegetable girls were not there though, i asked someone standing besides them, he said their dog had died. So sorry 🙁

So i walked back home. I started to feel a bit tired. Two thirty i was home, four hours after i had left. Time to lay my feet up for a short bit!

A good walk!

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The Gandhi Garden and the Hof van Noord entrance signs
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Grapes around the starting point of the Gandhi garden
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The Gandhi garden
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Flowers and vegetables and herbs
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The greenhouse
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The greenhouse
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A bench on the path around the garden
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Beehives
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The path
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Ronald harvesting the potatoes
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The garden
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The hexagonal greenhouse and the garden - the old train rails behind
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An insect hotel
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Chickens
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The Gordelpad
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Gordelweg gardens
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Rules and regulations of the Gordelweg gardens
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A dried up thistle
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Yellow bellpepper
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Beehives
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Harddraversstraat close to the Central Station
Published on September 7, 2016 at 6:00 by

Photo album

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My mum, my dad, my two sisters playing with me. I am the youngest.
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Pushing my own wagon, sitting besides my dad, on the beach.
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A holiday, somewhere in the Netherlands.
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School pictures, four years and five years old
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On a camel, six years old
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School pictures, fourth or fifth class and sixth class
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The first class of high school (dreadful!)
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A later years, a photo in my room with a friend
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Tenerife photos
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Our cat, Rakker and my mum
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School picture, mum, smoking and stroking Rakker
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Thirtheen, fourteen years old
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Holiday photos
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With my eldest sister, Marja
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Last Tenerife holiday. Below with Jim, the first guy who kissed me, on the beach in the moonlight
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My room upstairs
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Sixteen years old
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Klasseavond, class evening, with Sinterklaas i'm pretty sure
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Tunisia holiday, and Rakker
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An official family photo - my grandparents
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Sitting on the balcony
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A terrible holiday with a friend
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That same terrible holiday
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The evening we stayed in tents at our school, just after we did our exams
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Eightteen years old!
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Photos my sister made of me
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More photos from my sister
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A friend and the photo she made of me
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Around nineteen years old here?
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Whiteblond!
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Studying in Delft, shwoing a study for women studies we made
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Living on my own
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My mum and my dad
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Nikkie and Minnie
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Smooch!
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At artschool, the top photo was a selfportrait
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On the beach with friends
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Working at friends from my mother
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With friends in Zeeland
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Zeeland
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With a friend Saskia in Paris for an art exhibition
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Paris
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Paris
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Short hair!
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Working at the filmfestival Rotterdam
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The final page in this album
Published on September 6, 2016 at 6:00 by

Rain

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The luchtsingel, air bridge and the old Shell building
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Covers for the tomatoes and basil, with raindrops
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A wet table
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Strawberry plants on the side
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The courgette rows, the greenhouse and the water tons
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The compost heap. I asked today if it was possible to put in the wooden catty litter i've been using for the past two weeks. Yes! That will make my garbage bags a lot less full!
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Hop, only a few weeks from harvest time. We will call in a Rotterdam beer brewery to harvest all the hops for their beer.
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The tomatoes, not yet eaten by the rats - grrrr......
Published on September 5, 2016 at 6:00 by

Ellen, Architect of Change

Today i spend some time thinking about privacy. Of which i don’t give myself too much really. I do live alone, so it is my own choice. About some things i’m completely honest. My sex live. My dreams. My sex live used to be on a very low burner for a long time. The past two years it got fired up again. It still is. I’m even talked to on the streets at times. But i don’t go into it. I do feel and think sex is important, but also something i want to share with someone i love.

I mean HUGE TRUE love. Yeah.

So i keep on working hard. Hopefully my work will be recognized soon, will be seen and valued soon. And hopefully one day i will meet someone i will fall in love with. So i think about that in my off hours. Deep at night. In the moonshine. In the starry light.

My dreams are my own. But yes, i have written about them here. Because it also does feel that my dreams are the same as other people’s dreams. Love, happiness, sharing a life, sharing time with other people i enjoy staying with. Simple dreams really.

I’m giving myself time to think about myself, about this world, about my life sofar. To look inside myself. To look outside myself. Television mostly. Television which speeds up and on.

Time to find a good starting point. Which i had already found, of course. But still.

You, reading this, stay well.

Be happy.

Enjoy the day.

The sunshine, the wind, the rain.

Enjoy the night.

The moon. The stars.

<3

Published on September 2, 2016 at 6:00 by

Walk

No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life. There may be countless trails and bridges and demigods who would gladly carry you across; but only at the price of pawning and forgoing yourself. There is one path in the world that none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!

Source: Nietzsche on How to Find Yourself and the True Value of Education

The real value of a real education [has] almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:

‘This is water.’

‘This is water.’

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out. Which means yet another grand cliché turns out to be true: your education really IS the job of a lifetime.

Source: This Is Water: David Foster Wallace on Life

Published on September 1, 2016 at 6:00 by

A walk in Rotterdam: the Old North

Today i made a walk through the old north part of Rotterdam. And i did want to make a map of my walk, but the plugin i’m using isn’t working. Grrr. Hopefully with another update the error will be fixed. I did check an old map, which is still working properly. But i do get a fatal error when i go to the make a new map page.

Well, i simply need to talk you through it then.

I started walking past the Rotte to the start of the Zaagmolenstreet. At the Zwaanshals, a good looking square, i made a couple of photos. I turned into the Zwaanshals and walked to the Wilgenplantsoen. This is a small communal garden. The garden where Daniel, who also works at the Peace Garden, works on Tuesdays. I was a bit early. Luckily the garden was open and i walked around and took some photos of the plants and flowers. Quite soon Marion came in, we talked a bit. It turned out she helped setting up the Peace Garden last year. She didn’t have that much free time now though, so she helped at the Wilgenplantsoen now, closest to home.

When Daniel arrived, the children ran up to him and jumped in his arms. That made me smile, lovely to see. I walked with Daniel to the Kinderparadijs, the children’s paradise close by, to get coffee for all of us.

After drinking the coffee, helping some children to get water from the pump in front of the garden and eating some yellow raspberries fresh from the garden, i walked on.

The Bloklandstreet is next. This garden is closed, but it was easy to take a few photos through the fence. I followed the Bloklandstreet to the Bergweg, took a detour through a pet supermarket i had never seen before and walked further past the Willebrordusplein into the Listreet. I crossed the Bergselaan and walked over the Delfgaauwstreet to the Gandhi Garden. I had intended to make some photos there, but it was closed i’m sad to say. Next time i’ll go there on a proper working moment.

I headed to the Bergsingel and walked along it to the Noordsingel. At one point i walked past the street going to the Gare Du Nord, a vegan restaurant. I went up there and made photos of the beds of herbs and vegetables.

After this i headed straight back home and was relieved to lay on the couch for a short while.

Another good walk!

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The Noorderbrug
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The Zwaanshals
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The Zwaanshals
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The Wilgenplantsoen
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The Wilgenplantsoen
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Sunflowers
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The Wilgenplantsoen
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I woke up this cat lying about in the Wilgenplantsoen
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Yellow raspberry
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Not sure what sort of tree this is, a willow maybe? I will ask soon!
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The Kinderparadijs
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The garden in the Bloklandstreet
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The garden in the Bloklandstreet
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Willebrordusplein
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Lisstreet
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Lisplein
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Noordsingel
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Gare Du Nord garden
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Beetles in the Gare Du Nord garden
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Gare Du Nord garden
Published on August 31, 2016 at 6:00 by