Author Archives for Ellen

Groceries

Going out today for some shopping.

First i went to the Gimsel. I was curious about an alternative for cleaning my ears and for non plastic waste bags. Someone was filling the rows in the health and skin care area, i asked her about it. She showed me a liquid ear cleaner and an ear candle. Both were really not to my liking. I did get compostable waste bags. Small ones. Since i have not that much litter anymore, i can do with this small bag for a week or two, three. My plastic goes in the plastic container, paper in the paper one, glass in the glass one, and vegetable and catty litter stuff goes in the compost heap. Such a great difference with a year ago!

I went to the Albert Heijn next. Full milk for my oatmeal porridge, old cheese with a bonus, eco toilet paper and six tins of cat food.

I’m gonna make me a rye sandwich with some cheese with mustard next. Yum!

Published on February 9, 2017 at 6:00 by

Tuesday

Market day. I went to my Turkish kebab place and told Beker (I hope i’m writing this correct!) about my diabetes and that i shouldn’t eat a sandwich kebab anymore. He gave me a cup of red lentil soup. Yum!

I felt different while i walked to the market. A bit like a blanket was wrapped all around me. A bit fuzzy. I did smile to people whose looks i caught. But that was it. It is cold. Wet. Grey.

I am reading the I Ching book. The middle part, not the hexagrams itself. Information about the structure of the book, the connection with the world. It is very far from our scientific world with its mathematics and chemistry. Some thoughts in the I Ching are so far gone. Forgotten. We don’t get water from a well anymore. We simply open the tab and it comes out. Clean and clear.

This is it for today. A muddled day. A befuddled day.

Quiet

Published on February 8, 2017 at 6:00 by

Family

My mum, with me on her hand. My sisters to the sides. Two aunts. This photo was taken in Vlaardingen, the town where i was born.

I’m around five years old here, 1969 or 1970.

I took this photo in the past weekend, when i visited my mum. We were going through her old photos together.

Published on February 6, 2017 at 6:00 by

New things

I felt so tired today. I didn’t go out and do some shopping. I slept on the couch. I watched tv. I read a bit.

Yesterday i felt tired as well. But i did need to go out for appointments with the doctor and the dietician. The past three weeks i have been minimizing my carbohydrates. And that works! My glucose i measure each evening is going down. So i’m keeping my carbs down. It does feel a bit painful. I like cookies. I like sweet things. And that is a no go area for me. Terrible. I will try to loose a bit of weight as well. That should help keeping my diabetes in check. So yes, on the whole i’m happy with this result. Even though i will miss the cookies. 🙁

I did get some ideas for new posts, i’m happy to say. About books. Like the I Ching. And the book about Gödel, Escher and Bach i bought in 1985. And the book from Walter J. Ong, Orality and Literacy. I love that book. I borrowed it from the library a couple of times in the 90s. And finally i bought it. I might even go into Wittgenstein, Levinas, Heidegger. Will be a long time though. I do need to read the books first, and those books are difficult.

I also have a new assignment starting halfway next week. I’m happy with that. It is a design job, working on a print book. Good one. Truly happy with that.

So. I hope you will have a good weekend. Enjoy yourself. Watch some movies. Listen to some music. Have dinner with friends. Or on your own. Make a walk. Or two walks. Smile. Be happy.

Salute!

Published on February 3, 2017 at 6:00 by

Somebody to love

This video clip is not a professional one. Of course not. I am drawn between embarrassment and a real felt sadness when i watch this clip.

It has turned out very different from my initial idea. Not sharply cut, not completely in sync with the voice, not a super fast editing. I don’t have the software. I don’t have the amount of RAM. I don’t have the right camera. I have also not given myself enough time.

But still, i do like this video. I do see something in me, something honest. The song itself i like, but it was never a clear favorite of mine. It might turn out like that i admit. Once i have a bit more distance from making this video.

So i leave you with this video. I do hope you find some pleasure in watching it.

Published on February 1, 2017 at 6:00 by

After Completion

Today i have worked on my new videoclip. In which i sing a song. On my own. First i thought i would finish it in one day. But no. Copying took a long time. Filming did too. And in the back of my mind i knew one day was really short. So i have given myself another day to work on it. And make some more clips.

I can only make it the best i can possibly make. Sing the best i can possibly sing. It is hard. But i have to do this.

*hugs*

36. Ming I / Darkening of the light

above K’UN THE RECEPTIVE, EARTH
below LI THE CLINGING, FIRE

Here the sun has sunk under the earth and is therefore darkened. The name of the hexagram means literally “wounding of the bright”; hence the individual lines contain frequent references to wounding. The situation is the exact opposite of that in the foregoing hexagram. In the latter a wise man at the head of affairs has able helpers, and in company with them makes progress; here a man of dark nature is in a position of authority and brings harm to the wise and able man.

THE JUDGMENT

DARKENING OF THE LIGHT. In adversity
It furthers one to be persevering.

One must not unresistingly let himself be swept along by unfavorable circumstances, nor permit his steadfastness to be shaken. He can avoid this by maintaining his inner light, while remaining outwardly yielding and tractable. With this attitude he can overcome even the greatest adversities. In some situations indeed a man must hide his light, in order to make his will prevail inspite of difficulties in his immediate environment. Perseverance must dwell in inmost consciousness and should not be discernible from without. Only thus is a man able to maintain his will in the face of difficulties.

THE IMAGE

The light has sunk into the earth:
The image of DARKENING OF THE LIGHT.
Thus does the superior man live with the great mass:
He veils his light, yet still shines.

In a time of darkness it is essential to be cautious and reserved. One should not needlessly awaken overwhelming enmity by inconsiderate behavior. In such times one ought not to fall in with the practices of others; neither should one drag them censoriously into the light. In social intercourse one should not try to be all-knowing. One should let many things pass, without being duped.

THE LINES

° Six in the fifth place means:
Darkening of the light as with Prince Chi.
Perseverance furthers.

Prince Chi lived at the court of the evil tyrant Chou Hsin, who, although not mentioned by name, furnished the historical example on which this whole situation is based. Prince Chi was a relative of the tyrant and could not withdraw from the court; therefore he concealed his true sentiments and feigned insanity. Although he was held a slave, he did not allow external misery to deflect him from his convictions. This provides a teaching for those who cannot leave their posts in times of darkness. In order to escape danger, they need invincible perseverance of spirit and redoubled caution in their dealings with the world.

63. Chi Chi / After Completion

above K’AN THE ABYSMAL, WATER
below LI THE CLINGING, FIRE

This hexagram is the evolution of T’ai PEACE. The transition from confusion to order is completed, and everything is in its proper place even in particulars. The strong lines are in the strong places, the weak lines in the weak places. This is a very favorable outlook, yet it gives reason for thought. For it is just when perfect equilibrium has been reached that any movement may cause order to revert to disorder. The one strong line that has moved to the top, thus effecting complete order in details, is followed by the other lines. Each moving according to its nature, and thus suddenly there arises again the hexagram P’i, STANDSTILL. Hence the present hexagram indicates the conditions of a time of climax, which necessitate the utmost caution.

THE JUDGMENT

AFTER COMPLETION. Success in small matters.
Perseverance furthers.
At the beginning good fortune.
At the end disorder.

The transition from the old to the new time is already accomplished. In principle, everything stands systematized, and it is only in regard to details that success is still to be achieved. In respect to this, however, we must be careful to maintain the right attitude. Everything proceeds as if of its own accord, and this can all too easily tempt us to relax and let thing take their course without troubling over details. Such indifference is the root of all evil. Symptoms of decay are bound to be the result. Here we have the rule indicating the usual course of history. But this rule is not an inescapable law. He who understands it is in position to avoid its effects by dint of unremitting perseverance and caution.

THE IMAGE

Water over fire: the image of the condition
In AFTER COMPLETION.
Thus the superior man
Takes thought of misfortune
And arms himself against it in advance.

When water in a kettle hangs over fire, the two elements stand in relation and thus generate energy (cf. the production of steam). But the resulting tension demands caution. If the water boils over, the fire is extinguished an its energy is lost. If the heat is too great, the water evaporates into the air. These elements here brought in to relation and thus generating energy are by nature hostile to each other. Only the most extreme caution can prevent damage. In life too there are junctures when all forces are in balance and work in harmony, so that everything seems to be in the best of order. In such times only the sage recognizes the moments that bode danger and knows how to banish it by means of timely precautions.

Published on January 31, 2017 at 6:00 by

Sunday afternoon

This Sunday afternoon i worked in the garden. I helped clearing out the round square in front of the garden and the sides. So many plastic wraps are thrown to this side. I know, i didn’t used to be so into this myself when i was younger. I smoked and i am sure i threw away cigarettes. But still, i was careful my whole life.

Last week when i walked past the bridge center down the street i talked with the two people standing out there and smoking. I pointed at the twenty or thrity cigarette points lying on the street. Why is there no ashtray standing outside. Someone will clear it up, one of them said. A way to move aside responsibility to someone else. Not good enough.

Such a little thing. So many little things all together.

I hope you have a nice week. Do good things! Believe in yourself!

Hmm, am i saying this to myself? Or to you? Not sure to be honest. Doesn’t really matter.

Published on January 30, 2017 at 6:00 by