A rather normal day of working in the garden
Author Archives for Ellen
Down
Fire
Last night the greenhouse of the Peace Garden burned down.
Someone on facebook told me about it on one of my latest posts about the garden. This morning, around half past nine, i walked up there to check. My first reaction was actually relieve. I had imagined the whole garden burned down. Luckily it was only the greenhouse. Then my reaction was sadness. And then anger. And then sadness once more.
I walked back home to get my iPhone. I did call the two maintainers then and told them both in their voice mail. Then i told the whole group in our whatsapp group. After a few initial reactions i walked back to make some photos to post in the whatsapp group. (I don’t have internet on my iPhone. I can only connect back home with my wifi.) Back home once more there were many reactions in the group. And even more after i posted the photos.
I made some tea and went back with it.
I could see the center of the fire was towards the back of the greenhouse. At the back stood the water tanks, which were melted. The inside of the greenhouse was burned and cracked, the plastic molten away, the iron fences bent and deformed.
Soon other people came by, Jorinde and Andreas. We were all shocked. But also thinking about what might have caused this, what to do next, what sort of greenhouse to make next, what of the chicken run, what of the seedlings we should be sowing again in the next two weeks. Questions tumbling over each other.
John, our homeless person residing in the greenhouse came along. He told us it was another group of people who had done this, while he was away to work. Jealousy.
Murray, Daniel and Julien came along. We cleaned up a little bit.
Then Daniel treated us all to coffee and chocolate milk. And we talked a bit more, sitting on the benches outside the garden.
A week and a half ago i talked with Julien about my desire for someone special in my life. But i also said i didn’t want to date. Dating reminds me of bringing only the best parts of me. There is simply no way i will ever go in Tinder or some dating website and try to find someone there. It was hard to talk about this, to explain this feeling i had. I did say i was feeling happy. Really. Even though my money situation is extremely tight right now. I don’t worry about it. I’m not sure why. I know i should, really. I know a few years back i would be worried sick. But i am not worried right now. I trust myself, in who i am, in my work – this website. I know things could go wrong, but i feel they won’t. I don’t understand this, but this is a very strong feeling.
To me, this world we live in, the state of it, the way people live here in Western Europe, in Asia, in Africa, in the Middle East, in America. It just isn’t enough for me. There are so many people scared, worried sick, afraid for their lives. And here in the Netherlands people worry about the money they make. The money they set aside for their pension. The money they pay for their health insurance. The money they pay for their other insurances. The money they pay for their internet, and television, and phones.
Fucking hell.
I don’t want to live like this.
No
Way
Only now i slowly begin to realize how upset i am. How angry. Livid. Furious.
AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
So yes, i would love to fall in love. Have a boyfriend. Someone to talk with, sleep with, kiss with, have sex with. Of course. A friend. A true friend. Of course. But he is not around. And i’m not going to let that stop me from living my life. Fight for what i believe is right. Hell no.
OK Ellen
…. breath ….
…. relax ….
…. 🙂 ….
—- Adrenaline was streaming through my body. Bit more average now. Better! —-
The plan is to work tomorrow, Thursday, to get the greenhouse cleared, the ground around it cleared.
And me, i am writing this post Fire now. After i read a bit more in my Gilbert & George books. I will make a post dedicated to them soon. I leave you with one of their works from 1984, Death Hope Life Fear. I do want to get my head clear about their work before though. So yes, reading, learning.
One of their largest and most ambitious pictures, the quadripartite DEATH HOPE LIFE FEAR tackles the central themes of human existence. Its powerful compositions and luminescent colours make this one of the high points of Gilbert & George’s art of the 1980s.
Together, DEATH and LIFE suggest an ongoing cycle of mortality and re-birth, with the figures of the artists simultaneously rising and falling, growing and shrinking. In DEATH, they are embraced by the petals of a rose and a daisy, while in LIFE giant leaves behind their shoulders resemble the wings of angels. In FEAR, the figures of young men are isolated from each other, dispersed at different levels. HOPE, by contrast, presents an image of unity and strength, with the youths arranged into definite groups in front of a landscape reminiscent of the white cliffs of Dover.
Map
Seeding
My balcony before. An old wooden tray all curling up from the rain. Old plants in one of the rectangular planters on the railing. I'll get those out this week.
I cleaned up my balcony. The whole one square meter of it! First i wiped the whole area with a brush. Then i used water to scrub it clean.
I did some repotting and seeding. I started with my old laurel plant. I have it for around three or four years. I never repotted it before. So i am hoping the new, larger pot will give it a boost and new growth this year. In the earthenware pot i seeded catmint. I had already seeded it in the Peace Garden, but i'm pretty sure my cat Muis will love some catmint too. In the plastic pot i seeded rosemary.
In this planter i seeded basil. Lots of it.
Done. Apart from the fact my door couldn't close, so i moved some pots to the railing. Looks much better! Still to do: get more compost. Then seed a pot with rocket, a pot with thyme and a planter with coriander.
A sunny Sunday’s walk
Today it was the Open Day at the Gandhi Garden. First i went to the Groene Passage Festival Market. I took home some self made compost from the Spirit restaurant. Also some magazine’s from the ecological Velt collective.
After that i walked past my home and put on a warmer coat. On to the Gandhi Garden next.
It was busy! The Maja Fietsclub performed. The first time i saw them perform, I liked it. Wijnand and Andreas, who both work in the Peace Garden, are the singer and the drummer.
Walking back through De Savornin Lohmanlaan. There is a vegetable garden there. I found it!
Half past five i was home. The sun still shining. One hour later than a week ago. Yay!
Published on March 27, 2017 at 6:00 by Ellen
The Hit Factory
In the late 80s, while i was studying at art school, i needed to be extremely frugal with my money. So i stopped buying many things. Records for one thing. In stead i went through the out of the charts box in the record shop. Singles were sold for one guilder. I also felt at the time my taste in music was changing. I was curious about many different music styles, especially the popular ones. Whitney Houston i was fascinated by. I knew she had a lovely voice. I knew she looked gorgeous. Not my taste no. But still. Lovely.
Stock, Aitken and Waterman were not my taste either. But i got into their music a bit. There is fun in their music. Of course. It is written mostly for young girls and boys. They could write a song in a couple of hours. And get a few girls of the street and make them sing it, record a video and yes, have a hit.
I did enjoy Kylie’s music a lot. I sang along with it. Danced in my house on it. And Especially For You, the duet between Kylie and Jason, was my favorite song. It still is.
Sometimes people can write a tune, write words which mean more than usual. I mean, it is more than I’d Rather Jack by the Reynolds Girls. Even though i always enjoyed that song too. Especially For You stayed with me for the last thirty years.
It was a bit weird that i listened to this music while i was at art school. Earlier, at high school and on the Delft University, i was into new wave – now known as post punk. It felt like i was looking for something opposed to the situation i was in. A small token of independence. I even bought the Smash Hits in that time. Reading it in the canteen of art school was not accepted.
The albums and singles i have are in this post. And at the end some youtube clips. One documentary to start with. A bit over enthusiastic of course.
Enjoy!
The Hit Factory Documentary
Kylie Minogue – Got to be certain
Kylie minogue and Jason Donovan – Especially for you
Kylie – Hand on your heart
Kylie – Wouldn’t Change A Thing
Kylie – Never Too Late
Kylie – Better The Devil You Know
Bananarama – Venus
Mel & Kim – Respectable
Mel & Kim – Showing Out
Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up
Sinitta – “Toy Boy”
Donna Summer – This Time I Know Its For Real
Princess – Say I’m Your Number One
Samantha Fox – Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now
The Reynolds Girls – I’d Rather Jack
An early spring walk
A walk through the Kralingse Bos. The weather was good today. Sometimes the wind felt a bit cold, but i never closed my coat.
I loved sitting in the park for a while and listen to the birds. A meditation. The drone of the cars rushing by in the distant. Never absent, no. I would like to hear nothing, but here in the west part of the Netherlands that is a hard bit to find. I did close my eyes and heard all the different birds around me. Singing their hearts out. Lovely.
A small yellow flower
White flowers against a blue sky
Trees covered with ivy
Most trees are still bare. Only buds point at the upcoming leaves.
Tiny white flowers
A bit closer up
Cut off tree trunks covered with moss
For around fifteen minutes i sat on a bench. I listened to the birds. Lovely.
Directly opposite the bench i sat on.
Young growth. No idea what type!
Inward
Today i felt tired. Not as happy as i usually am. Walking slower. Not as talkative.
Yesterday, Monday, i brought Mieke to the vet. Her dead body. I walked up there with her in an old shoe box. It felt like walking a dead man’s march. After that i went to the Groene Passage and treated myself on a cappuccino and a carrot cake.
It will get better. For now the memories are still so fresh. This little white cat was a part of my life for the last twelve years. Mieke and Muis were pals. Lying together so many times. Me and Muis are together once more.
See you tomorrow.
*hugs*
Bagagedrager
In 2002 the first album of the Dutch artist Spinvis was released. I got hooked. The melancholic and intricate music enchanted me.
I’ve missed out on his later albums. I did buy the second one, but it didn’t hook me as the first one. Still, he has a soft spot in my heart. This song, Bagagedrager, is on my MIXtape Spotify playlist. I do love the lyrics of this song. A bagagedrager is the back bit of a bicycle, on which you bind your bag. The part about biking through the white and cold, with the wind blowing through your gloves. Your fingers are cold as stone. And there is always something that paralyses you. Pot or booze. I don’t know what you make of it.
An excellent title.
Beautiful.
Spinvis – Bagagedrager
Je droomt wel vaker van een feest
maar hier ben je nog nooit geweest
iedereen kijkt naar voetbal
en een vent zeurt aan je kop
wat wil die man in hemelsnaam
hoe kom je hier
hoe kom je hier vandaan
en als je wegkomt
waarheen wou je dan wel gaan
hij praat maar door maar jij dwaalt af
dus je weet niet wie de wedstrijd wint
als je luistert naar de wolken
als je luistert naar de wind
je agenda en je zonnebril
wat doen die hier nou
maar je ligt weer in je eigen bed
in je eigen lot
en opeens staat alles stil
een motor draait
de baby huilt
een vogel schreeuwt
de dag begint
en de snelweg suist
tis altijd wat en altijd spijt
van al het geld en alle tijd
op de onverharde wegen
die je naar hier hebben geleid
de ochtenden zijn wit en koud
en hoe je ook je stuur vasthoudt
de wind komt door je handschoenen heen
je vingers zijn versteend
zo is er altijd iets wat je verlamd
en is het niet de wiet
dan is het wel de drank of zo
het spookt maar in je hoofd
het was lang geleden een eeuwigheid
je fietste op de afsluitdijk
ik weet niet wat je er nu van vindt
als je luistert naar de wolken
als je luistert naar de wind
als je luistert naar de wolken
als je luistert naar de wind
als je luistert naar de wolken
als je luistert naar de wind
Lowlands 2012
Theatershow