Questions

What do you wish for most?
The world right now, in 2017, is ruled by people with greed. Greed for power, greed for money, greed for sex. They hardly feel any constraint in succumbing to their wishes. They have infected the entire world with this selfish desire. The Asian world. The African world.

I know there are also many people trying to do good. Working hard for the animals, for the people, for the children, for the plants and trees. But they are continuously limited and restrained by governments and news outlets.

So my first, biggest and ultimate wish is for power structure of money to change. To let it fall to pieces. To give people something to believe in, something to work for, something to fight for. Something new. A new faith.

Who would you most like to be?
Me!

What is your definition of happiness?
Happiness is to wake up each and every day with a curiosity for new things and a desire to live fully. To talk with people all over the world, work hard, have a good meal with friends, relax a little, make a walk, work in the vegetable garden, swim in the ocean and sleep with your loved one.

What is your definition of unhappiness?
Being all alone in this world, with nobody to talk with, nobody to have diner with, nobody to hug, nobody to kiss, nobody to sleep with.

This does remind me a bit of my life as it is right now. I am alone now, a lot. The garden is the only social group i hang out with. My life right now is between happiness and unhappiness. I am working hard now though. And my mind is geared towards the future. So i wouldn’t call myself unhappy. Not yet anyway!

What was the most interesting thing that ever happened to you?
Making my drawings on 8 February 1986. I finally gave these drawings to Green Gartside, 5 February 2016. I had given these drawings away twice earlier. Both times i received them back. I remember looking at these drawings once i had made them. Feeling a bit puzzled. Not sure what i had made. It has become clearer over time.

What was the worst thing that you ever did?
One time when i was around thirteen years old, a school friend had an accident in front of my house. She came into my house and we helped her. On our way to school i left her. I was afraid to be too late at school. Terrible thing that was. Regretted it ever since.

Another event was a vacation with a school friend. I called her the day we left, going with the train from the Netherlands to Italy. She didn’t reply. I was upset and went over to her house. As it turned out, i was calling the wrong number. But it never got right after that. After a week or so we had a huge fight. After that i went back home, alone. Terrible.

What makes life worth living for you?
Hmmm. Life is difficult for me now. Lack of money mostly. Apart from that, i’m perfectly happy. I work in the garden, two days a week. I have my blog, whith five updates each week. I haven’t missed one yet, in the more than two years i’m working on it. I do my walks. I listen to music. I watch movies. I read. I love all that.

What would make life unliveable for you?
I still have a dream that i can make it. With this website, ellenpronk.com, i could somehow generate some income. I wouldn’t mind becoming famous. Like Gilbert & George for example. I’m reading books about them now, so they are in my consciousness. I still feel it is possible. But it is getting close to failing miserably. Still, even if it does fail, i will need to look out for an alternative. But i can’t do that right now. I need to be focused on succeeding.

Getting back to my life as it was three years ago, that would be terrible. Unliveable. Yes.

These questions were asked by Gilbert & George to a number of youths in the movie The World of Gilbert & George (1981). When i read these questions in the book The Art of Gilbert & George, i immediately thought that i really want to ask these questions to myself.