Another round

Today i made another walk around and through the city. I do feel a bit sad that it is so quiet. So deadly quiet. It is not that i shop that much myself. Quite the opposite, i would prefer people to buy less things they do not need anyway. But this silence does feel unnatural.

I did first walk to the Vredestuin Noord. We drank a cup of tea and the others went on to work in the garden. I left and walked past my old home to the pharmacy, the apotheek. After that i went to the library, the bibliotheek, to return the one book i had and hadn’t finished yet. Then i went into the supermarket and got something to eat for the next two days before i move to the next room this Friday.

I walked past the square where the snackbar stands where i bought a frikandel with fritessaus and a bit of tomato ketchup. I sat on the square and looked around for a bit while i ate my food.

Then onwards home.

To be honest, i am really tired. This walk lasted around three hours. Pfff 🙂

Published on January 7, 2021 at 6:00 by

Walking through the city

Today i had an appointment with my dietician. Yesterday i checked on the map how long i would be walking from where i am staying now to all the way to Kralingen: an hour! So i walked, through the empty city, the Highstreet, the Slaak all the way to the dietician. I told her i had thought about my health and made a decision to be more strict. I also had my supplements for magnesium and vitamin D3 with me. The magnesium does make me sleep better so far. It can also be a placebo effect of course. You never know. My plans for the future are to calculate my macro’s, the amount of protein and fat i should take daily. The carbohydrates is set to 20 grams. It was a pleasant talk. I like my dietician. Eline is her name. (Waves to Eline! 🙂

An hour walking back. When i got home i made my dinner. After that i made coffee with some of the Belgian chocolate thins i bought this afternoon in the Gimsel when i was walking home.

And just yet i was browsing Netflix. And Pride and Prejudice is there! The 1995 BBC series, which i love! So yeah, i started it up, but decided to type this post first.

Ooh, the last photo is a poem of Jules Deelder the most famous Rotterdam poet which is on a wall of a building on the Vierambachtstraat. I saw it for the first time a couple of weeks ago. It touched me.

Lotgenoten,

Ons gaan is een komen
Ons komen een gaan

De zin van het leven
is dat we vergaan

De wereld van iedereen
Niemand de baas

Het heden is eeuwig
Alles is waar

God of Jehova
Allah Jahweh

De één is de ander
De ander de één

Ontsteekt uw geweten
Kijkt om u heen

Het lot dat we delen
laat niemand alleen

Jules Deelder (1944-2019)
uit: Ruisch (2011)

Published on January 6, 2021 at 6:00 by

The Human Cosmos

I watched this hour long talk by Jo Marchant on youtube this afternoon. I enjoyed the photos and drawings used in this movie. The topics ranged from 10.000 years ago until our present industrial capitalist society. Lovely.

Published on January 5, 2021 at 6:00 by

Looking back on 2020

I gave a dinner party on 12 January 2020 for my friends from the gardens and my neighbours. A couple of vegan salads, cooked potatoes, a baked Brie, a vegan pumpkin and nut roast, a roasted goose, a self made chicken liver pate, a vegan trifle and a chocolate mousse. A lovely evening.
At the end of January i had to move out of my house. I still feel sad about this, but at the same time i knew this was an important step for me to take. I do not know my future, but i am still full of hope and determination.
Early February 2020 i fell on the street completely through my own fault. I broke one front tooth, a corner tooth was bend inwards. Half of the front tooth flew out through the flesh above my mouth. Luckily only two stitches were needed. It was quite a clean wound, apparently. Since then i am way more careful while i walk on the streets or even inside house.
Four months i lived with friends. Still thankful they offered me some space to get used to living more temporary.
A warm summer in another room. The quite attractive house lord was a bit of a distraction. Happy i got out of this room with no attachments.
A month in a room close to the Vredestuin Noord. My own bathroom, balcony and small kitchen. A breakfast each day was included. Lovely place.
In the house of a Facebook friend with her husband and a little daughter. Fantastic. Watched all the Batman movies. And Firefly!
This place was not really to my liking. I left a week earlier.
The place i am currently in. Good house lord with whom i talk with about all sorts of things. In the West part of Rotterdam, close to the house i used to live in between 1985 and 1995. I decided in December to get more serious with my keto diet, after a year of being a bit more nonchalant with it. No more fries and croissants anymore on Saturday. Carbs only from vegetables and nuts. I am more serious measuring my glucose early in the morning and during the day. I hope to loose a bit of weight. Feeling good! No keto flu so far.
Published on January 4, 2021 at 6:00 by

Sense of Wonder

For the past few weeks i have been thinking about my last post of the year. This one. I want to write about sense of wonder. I have known this concept since my teens. Especially in reviews of science fiction novels i came across this. But in this post i want to write about my personal experience of sense of wonder.

The past year has been a roller coaster for me. From the first of February i have been living with other people. Friends first, than strangers who i paid to live in a room in their house. Some were friendly, some were absent, some i didn’t like that much. But in each house i learned something. This past year has been a valuable school for me.

Life is asking you to approach what is happening to you with a curiosity and a sense of wonder rather than a “why me” attitude. The story doesn’t matter — only what insights and learnings you have gained about yourself and life.

Source: A Sense of Wonder

I am not sure how long this will last. I know my money is running out in about ten months or so. But i don’t worry about it too much. Sometimes it crosses my mind. But to me this is still a long period in which so many things can change.

I enjoy my walks. I enjoy being outside and looking up at the sky and seeing the plants and the trees. I enjoy watching the people walking around like they know what they are doing. I enjoy gardening. I enjoy being by myself. I enjoy being with other people. Sometimes, i must add 🙂

The world is full with the legacy of people who have lived their lives before us giving us advice over the lives worth living.

If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things that are artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength.

Source: Rachel Carson and a Childhood Sense of Wonder

I am trying to get back to this sense of wonder, this childlike view on the world, a view i have lost over the years. I am loosing all the things i have built up over the years. Consciously. I realize my friends may worry about me occasionally, but i do not worry. I know i will make it. I believe in myself. I have complete trust in myself. It is difficult. Of course. Isn’t anything that makes life worth living difficult?

This is my last post of the year 2020. I am giving myself a two weeks holiday, to spend my time with Christmas and New Year alone by myself. I am not unhappy about that. I simply accept that.

I do hope you, dear reader, will have some pleasant moments in these dark times.

My best wishes to you.

Published on December 18, 2020 at 6:00 by

Perseverance

40. Hsieh / Deliverance

above CHêN THE AROUSING, THUNDER
below K’AN THE ABYSMAL, WATER

Here the movement goes out of the sphere of danger. The obstacle has been removed, the difficulties are being resolved. Deliverance is not yet achieved; it is just in its beginning, and the hexagram represents its various stages.

THE JUDGMENT

DELIVERANCE. The southwest furthers.
If there is no longer anything where one has to go,
Return brings good fortune.
If there is still something where one has to go,
Hastening brings good fortune.

This refers to a time in which tensions and complications begin to be eased. At such times we ought to make our way back to ordinary conditions as soon as possible; this is the meaning of “the southwest.” These periods of sudden change have great importance. Just as rain relieves atmospheric tension, making all the buds burst open, so a time of deliverance from burdensome pressure has a liberating and stimulating effect on life. One thing is important, however: in such times we must not overdo our triumph. The point is not to push on farther than is necessary. Returning to the regular order of life as soon as deliverance is achieved brings good fortune. If there are any residual matters that ought to be attended to, it should be done as quickly as possible, so that a clean sweep is made and no retardations occur.

THE IMAGE

Thunder and rain set in:
The image of DELIVERANCE.
Thus the superior man pardons mistakes
And forgives misdeeds.

A thunderstorm has the effect of clearing the air; the superior man produces a similar effect when dealing with mistakes and sins of men that induce a condition of tension. Through clarity he brings deliverance. However, when failings come to light, he does not dwell on them; he simply passes over mistakes, the unintentional transgressions, just as thunder dies away. He forgives misdeeds, the intentional transgressions, just as water washes everything clean.

° Nine in the second place means:
One kills three foxes in the field
And receives a yellow arrow.
Perseverance brings good fortune.

The image is taken from the hunt. The hunter catches three cunning foxes and receives a yellow arrow as a reward. The obstacles in public life are the designing foxes who try to influence the ruler through flattery. They must be removed before there can be any deliverance. But the struggle must not be carried on with the wrong weapons. The yellow color points to measure and mean in proceeding against the enemy; the arrow signifies the straight course. If one devotes himself wholeheartedly to the task of deliverance, he develops so much inner strength from his rectitude that it acts as a weapon against all that is false and low.

16. Yü / Enthusiasm

above CHêN THE AROUSING, THUNDER
below K’UN THE RECEPTIVE, EARTH

The strong line in the fourth place, that of the leading official, meets with response and obedience from all the other lines, which are all weak. The attribute of the upper trigram, Chên, is movement; the attributes of K’un, the lower, are obedience and devotion. This begins a movement that meets with devotion and therefore inspires enthusiasm, carrying all with it. Of great importance, furthermore, is the law of movement along the line of least resistance, which in this hexagram is enunciated as the law for natural events and for human life.

THE JUDGMENT

ENTHUSIASM. It furthers one to install helpers
And to set armies marching.

The time of ENTHUSIASM derives from the fact that there is at hand an eminent man who is in sympathy with the spirit of the people and acts in accord with it. Hence he finds universal and willing obedience. To arouse enthusiasm it is necessary for a man to adjust himself and his ordinances to the character of those whom he has to lead. The inviolability of natural laws rests on this principle of movement along the line of least resistance. Theses laws are not forces external to things but represent the harmony of movement immanent in them. That is why the celestial bodies do not deviate from their orbits and why all events in nature occur with fixed regularity. It is the same with human society: only such laws are rooted in popular sentiment can be enforced, while laws violating this sentiment merely arouse resentment.
Again, it is enthusiasm that enables us to install helpers for the completion of an undertaking without fear of secret opposition. It is enthusiasm too that can unify mass movements, as in war, so that they achieve victory.

THE IMAGE

Thunder comes resounding out of the earth:
The image of ENTHUSIASM.
Thus the ancient kings made music
In order to honor merit,
And offered it with splendor
To the Supreme Deity,
Inviting their ancestors to be present.

When, at the beginning of summer, thunder–electrical energy–comes rushing forth from the earth again, and the first thunderstorm refreshes nature, a prolonged state of tension is resolved. Joy and relief make themselves felt. So too, music has power to ease tension within the heart and to loosen the grip of obscure emotions. The enthusiasm of the heart expresses itself involuntarily in a burst of song, in dance and rhythmic movement of the body. From immemorial times the inspiring effect of the invisible sound that moves all hearts, and draws them together, has mystified mankind.
Rulers have made use of this natural taste for music; they elevated and regulated it. Music was looked upon as something serious and holy, designed to purify the feelings of men. It fell to music to glorify the virtues of heroes and thus to construct a bridge to the world of the unseen. In the temple men drew near to God with music and pantomimes (out of this later the theater developed). Religious feeling for the Creator of the world was united with the most sacred of human feelings, that of reverence for the ancestors. The ancestors were invited to these divine services as guests of the Ruler of Heaven and as representatives of humanity in the higher regions. This uniting of the human past with the Divinity in solemn moments of religious inspiration established the bond between God and man. The ruler who revered the Divinity in revering his ancestors became thereby the Son of Heaven, in whom the heavenly and the earthly world met in mystical contact.
These ideas are the final summation of Chinese culture. Confucius has said of the great sacrifice at which these rites were performed: “He who could wholly comprehend this sacrifice could rule the world as though it were spinning on his hand.”

Published on December 16, 2020 at 6:00 by

The Illusion of Separateness

There is no insurmountable solitude. All paths lead to the same goal: to convey to others what we are. And we must pass through solitude and difficulty, isolation and silence in order to reach forth to the enchanted place where we can dance our clumsy dance and sing our sorrowful song — but in this dance or in this song there are fulfilled the most ancient rites of our conscience in the awareness of being human and of believing in a common destiny.

Source: Brainpickings – Against the Illusion of Separateness: Pablo Neruda’s Beautiful and Humanistic Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech

Published on December 14, 2020 at 6:00 by

Keto Christmas inspiration

As i mentioned yesterday, i have been eating more severely the ketogenic diet. It is mainly for combating my diabetes. It would be better if i were to loose a couple of kilos, say around ten. I am back to measuring my glucose once or twice a day. In the morning it is quite high. While writing this post, before dinner on Thursday, i measured it and it is 5.3, which is acceptable.

I think i need to measure it during the night for a couple of times. There are several possibilities why my glucose is so high in the morning, the Dawn Phenomenon and the Somogyi Effect.

I have to say here that it does take time to understand all these processes. I am not a doctor or a nurse or anything like that. But i do want to understand my body a bit better. So the next few days i will measure my glucose at night around three.

Next i have collected some keto recipes for Christmas. The soups and the desserts are most to my liking. The mackerel pate too!

Enjoy your weekend. Salute!

Keto Smoked Mackerel Pate
Mackerel Pate with Horseradish

Creamy Keto Chicken Soup
Keto Chicken Soup
Keto Egg Drop Soup

Greek Courgette Salad

Cauliflower Rice Chicken Biryani
Keto Mashed Cauliflower

Mascarpone with berries
Keto Chocolate Pudding
Keto Bulletproof Coffee Ice Cream
Keto Chocolate Mousse

Added later:
Keto Eggnog

Published on December 11, 2020 at 6:00 by