Forgotten
I forgot yesterdays post. So sorry!
Categories for My story
My mum, her mum and me
My new house
After a week of no internet. I barely missed it. Taking my time with placing my furniture. I only need a couch. Gonna look at a friend who has one, i hope it sits well. I’m also gonna see if i need all i packed. I don’t think so.
I’m so happy!
The keys
It is still a mystery to me how this house came to me only two weeks ago. In my world, it is a wonder. No other words for it.
Tomorrow, or rather today Monday August 18 2025 for you my dear reader, i will get the keys. This Friday i will move all my stuff from home and from the place i stored all my furniture, books, records and drawings. After five and a half years of moving about with no fixed address, getting my post at the Paulus church – thank you so much!
It is almost too much for me to believe. But hey, it is true!
See you next week 🙂
I have a home!
Diary entries
1 July 2025
I’m sitting on a bench in front of a sustainable furniture shop next to Spirit and Gimsel. People are walking, biking, driving by. Today it is warm, the warmest day of the year sofar.
It all looks calm.
I just had lunch at Spirit. While I am writing this someone sat besides me and asked me for money. I said no.
2 July 2025
A warm day once again. Until five o’clock. Then the rain started, with a little bit of thunder and lightning. I put the window to the garden open. Outside it is cooler now.
I just had a talk with my friend and house lord. He is not sure I can stay here until 31 December. It is making me anxious. And it is all my own fault of course. Selling my house just like that. It is difficult. Damn.
4 July 2025
I have this knot inside me. I am thinking about what i will do next, and i do not know. I read. I watch the new season of the Sandman, i play wow, the prepatch for Mists of Pandaria. But it is all just a distraction.
But i keep going on. I don’t let it defeat me. Not yet.
I still haven’t given up. It is tempting though.
6 July 2025
I am still not sure which way is the best to go. I need to go through this anxious feeling i have. Joyfulness is so much nicer!
Me again
Parts of my life
I am born in 1964, 26 February at five minutes past twelve after midnight. Now 61 years ago. And a couple of months.
My first memory came back to me in a dream when i was around twenty years old. IN the dream a photo was made of me. I lost the photo, but it does exist still.
I have many more memories. I will not go over them once more, but you are of course free to read them yourself now.
The past three years i have been working. Simple work. I don’t always like it, but its good for me right now. It is useful. I help people with cleaning up their homes. Not my ultimate wish, but i do enjoy it mostly.
But i do feel sad, scared, some of the time. I know it was my own choosing to sell my house. I can only blame myself. I sometimes wish i hadn’t sold it. On the other hand, i am happy with the past five years and all i experienced in that time.
I simply gotta keep on going.
Salute!
I can not believe
I almost stopped working here.
I can not believe it.
I almost stopped.
So i’m back here. Yes! I’m angry. Furious! Livid!
Ooh damn it.
Well, i have many more things to say, but right now, this is enough.
—
Mon 9 June 10:30
Of course, underneath it all, i’m terribly sad. The only solution i see is to keep on working. I find it difficult to do that. But i am still, be it slowly. I hope in a few weeks i will publish my new video clip. No matter the anger and sadness i feel right now. Just keep on working.
Time and again
I walk in town regularly. Twice a week, or more. I look at the people passing me. Most are simply happy shopping. Some are not. Just rushing through town to get what they need. Or think they need. Or whatever.
I sometimes get something i need. Or want. Just this last week i bought an eyeshadow from Kiko’s. 10 Euros. It’s the shiny silver grey photo and the top of this post. I like it.
This week i asked a woman begging for money in town why she was doing it. It was at the supermarket in the center. She said she was from Romania, that she had come here for her children. She had no BSN-number. Begging was the last resort. I didn’t get to hear the full story. Of course not. But i’m happy i talked with her. I gave her two euros. A pittance. I don’t know what to do for them. Apart from donating money to some charity, like the Paulus church here. I might do that.
—
Hey, i just did that!
—
I made a new friend! Someone i met in the launderette i get to every other week. First we got talking, helping each other with folding our laundry. After two months or so i visited her house, close by. Then we went out for lunch. We talk continuously about all sorts of things, some world stuff, some personal stuff. We now go out for lunch after we met at the launderette. Good!
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My house boss is moving out. He has Parkinson, he is walking badly, very slow and hesitant. I need to find something else in a couple of months. I hope i will find something decent.
—
Well that is it for now. I will go back to making weekly updates. I am sorry for the break. It did do me good though.
Salute!