Author Archives for Ellen

Mailchimp

Today, i was thinking while i walked to the market. A short thought. The plugin i tried yesterday i didn’t like. I remembered seeing a Mailchimp plugin for WordPress. I do like Mailchimp. I just checked on their website, they started in 2001. I must have known about them since 2003, 2004? So yes, i picked Mailchimp. The free option goes up to 2000 subscribers, which seems plenty for me. And i do like the templates and the whole look of their website.

I still have a couple of days to work on a template and do some tests. I will write the email myself. Using photos from the website, write a short bit or copy paste a bit from the text. Depends on the post. I will send an email out once a week, each Friday. It will have links to the five posts i made that week. So the first one goes out this Friday, 5 May. I will pick out a template and fill the email up over the week.

I am curious. I don’t expect that many sign-ups, but i do hope a few people will.

If you do want to subscribe to my new newsletter, please fill in the form below. You do not need to fill in your name if you don’t want to.

[I have decided to stop this newsletter, a few months ago actually. With only the one subscriber it is really too much work. Sorry Veg!]

I will add this form to my footer. Hopefully sometime this week. I will make some other changes too.

Published on May 3, 2017 at 6:00 by
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Standstill

I am working on setting up a newsletter for ellenpronk.com. A once a week sent newsletter with the five posts of the week, sent on Friday. Today i installed the plugin and did some tests. I do want to test it a bit further and see how i can get cron jobs to work good on my server.

In the afternoon i decided i needed more time, so i had to think of another posts for tomorrow. The I Ching popped up and i felt it was a good one to put up.

Just yet i sat down on the floor. Sitting quiet for a short while. Listening to the sound of the cars outside. My cat finding a place on the couch the lay and fall asleep. I had just given him his insulin. I only sat down for a minute or two.

Then i threw my coins.

I got some difficult signs. Obstruction is the first one, number 39.

Today i felt tired. I didn’t sleep well. Not that bit of a difference with other nights to be honest. But, i was really tired today. I did do some work on the newsletter plugin, a few tests. I also read A History of God written by Karen Armstrong. I enjoy reading this book. Halfway now, i’m curious to the more recent history of the last few centuries.

The hexagram pictures a dangerous abyss lying before us and a steep, inaccessible mountain rising behind us. We are surrounded by obstacles; at the same time, since the mountain has the attribute of keeping still, there is implicit a hint as to how we can extricate ourselves. The hexagram represents obstructions that appear in the course of time but that can and should be overcome. Therefore all the instruction given is directed to overcoming them.

I do recognize this bit. Obstacles behind me and a dangerous abyss in front of me. The special lines all point to the same thing. All say the same thing.

Going leads to obstructions

The end sign is Standstill.

Withdraw into seclusion

Reminds me of the phone call i got today. Someone from an agency in Amsterdam got my name from LinkedIn. They were looking for people in the Rotterdam area for some clients. I wasn’t opposed to it, but i did say i wouldn’t want to work at a bank or a commercial company. I don’t think i will hear much from them. Still, you never know. I also said i worked in a garden for two days a week. Good for me.

😛

I watched the chess game i still have standing on my table. Two peons standing opposite each other. No idea how this game will go on. If it will. I do enjoy having it standing there though.

Time for me to get ready to go to bed. Enjoy today!

Published on May 2, 2017 at 6:00 by
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A gardening Sunday

The harvest!
Most of the work done today was in our second garden. Same as last Friday. It really needs it.
More weeding done in the bed with the leeks. Planted broad beans in the middle of it. The ground near the train rails was emptied as well. We planted blackberries last year to make it grow there.
The blackberry bush
Newly planted broad beans
A bumblebee
Weeds still to work at
A lovely yellow flower in between the weeds. No idea if this can stay or should go.
And more weeds
Daniël hard at work in between the apple trees
Julien planting New Sealand spinach
An overview of the garden we worked on today
Published on May 1, 2017 at 6:00 by
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A possible future

Hmmm

Yeah, right

OK

Since last Friday i have been thinking about writing and publishing this post. Someone in the garden said it to me. Dreams are good. No use in denying them. It triggered something in me. I have been dreaming about this post Saturday, Sunday and Monday. And then of course this post is altering the daydream. Changing the way it happens.

I’m a bit scared of writing about my daydreams. They are personal. Private. Mine alone. A world in which i can relax and control everything. My inner world. Nothing to do with anybody else.

I am not sure though this is true. Nothing to do with anybody else. All our daydreams, and i suppose nightly dreams as well, have to do with the world and its current lived in state. We all pick elements we like, we love. People we like, we love.

Moments of happiness.

Moments of sadness.

Moments of violence.

Moments of rage.

Moments of desire.

It seems to me someone is perfectly happy when he or she doesn’t have daydreams. When his or her life is full of moments needing attention. Too many to daydream. When nights are filled with much needed rest. Company of friends.

Daydreams have a function in your life. They give you a situation which you can escape to. Where you have all the power to make it the perfect act for your desires, good or bad, to play out their course.

Why the escape?

This world we live in simply moves incessantly through time and through space. For me, and i think for most other people, it seems like the world doesn’t care. Other people do not care. Each and everyone is trying to make this life work for him or her. To get the best out of it. To feel some sort of happiness. In work, in love, in friendship. Or sex. Or violence. But we all run into the borders set out by other people.

In the facebook update about the post Falling i said Falling through life. It felt so right for me. Gravity pulling you down, your hands desperately trying to catch some of the debris floating around you, the ultimate ending getting dangerously closer. A big splash. Kaboom. Dead.

First i want to apologize to the people involved in my daydreams. I’m so sorry. I can not escape myself. Always here.

I reread My dream life. Ooh. Almost the same as this post.

These dreams are all connected. They move forward slowly. My current dreams are so different from a year ago.

I am observing my dreams. Letting them happen is one thing. Thinking about them is another. That is hard. The dreams are my ultimate fantasy, my ultimate life, the things i wish for most.

I dream i am invited in a television show. The last week i see other shows, but i usually pick De wereld draait door. The past day i had a dream i started to sing. Do Re Mi. From the Sound of Music. I did sing My favorite things a few months ago.

I am invited in De Wereld Draait Door. Next week Thursday. 4 May 2017. It will be about this post, the one i am writing now. A possible future. I am nervous and anxious. But also happy. It worked! I got in! Yes!

We, me and Matthijs, we talk about my website. About the more than 500 posts on here. About the many topics i go through. It goes well. Hanneke Groenteman is the table lady. We had talked a bit before in the afternoon, while i was sitting with the visagist. I shook her hand when i came to the table. As i said i would do.

Then Matthijs says Scritti Politti. My all-time favourite band. He looks at me curiously. But of course i know what he will say next.

Because i am writing it here! Making it up as i go along!

The people working on the program have called Rough Trade to get a number of Green. They did contact him. And he is there. I turn around my head and watch the side. I feel my turn a little red. But also a smile comes at my face. I feel so happy! He walks up to the table, with a guitar. He will sing a song! Ooh, The Word Girl maybe? Ooh. He has written a new song. About me. Not entirely finished, but still. He plays it. I’m like transfixed. Sitting there, watching Green and listening to the music. It is wonderful!

After … or before maybe? We talk about the drawings i gave Green a year ago. He has them with him. He puts them on the table. I sort of touch them fleetingly. Matthijs asks if he can see them. I look at Green with a question on my face. Of course, he says. Matthijs likes the drawings.

I am completely there. Not daydreaming, no. So many things are happening, it is too busy to daydream. Just as when i work in the garden…

Oh terrible terrible terrible

Stop it!

I actually walked away from my computer. I listened to Steely Dan albums: Aja, Katy Lied, a part of Gaucho, then Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN. I made something to eat.

Writing down that daydream is painful. Very different from dreaming away about it. It makes it one dimensional. Simply a dream to wish true.

And that is not what i want. I understand my daydreams. I get inspiration from them, things to make posts about. Maybe a small part of me wishes parts of my daydreams to come true. But that is not my life. And yes, i do wish to be heard. I do wish to talk in public. Of course. And i do wish to fall in love. And the person i fall in love with to fall in love with me. Of course.

But i do know these things are out of my control. I can only work on myself, right now. Which is what i am doing, for the past two and a half years.

I would so much like to talk about my ideas about how we should live in this world presently. My thoughts about money, about buying stuff, about what we should do to learn, about the food we eat, where we buy it. Schools should all have a garden for their students to work in. Not my idea alone. Of course not. Shared vegetable gardens should be much more prolific. More ingrained in the city planning. And if not, that is where i want to put money in. To buy ground, to pay people to work there. To give money to small scale projects for people and animals all over the world. If i had money. To talk with people all over the world to make a move towards a better world. A world we can all live in and work in.

And no, it will never be paradise. It will be hard work. Things go wrong all the time. But the banks and the companies and the politicians and the news are all making this world seem like it should be like this. And that is wrong.

My mind is jumbled up knot of strands and planes of all different sorts and kinds. Personal stuff, politics stuff, world stuff. And songs and music and stories. Working on this website gives me an opportunity to dig it all out. As much as possible.

This post had three titles.

  1. The ultimate dream
  2. A possible future
  3. An impossible future

I made three swithches. The last switch was back to number two A possible future.

I don’t know my future. People around me say i should take better care, worry more about money, live safer. I simply can not do that right now. I hope it will turn out good for me. That something will lift me up, make my life in this world actually possible in a good way. I really do.

And if not, i will still continue to do what i do now. Keep working on ellenpronk.com, keep working in the garden. Find a way to make some money to keep on going. Because i believe in it with my whole heart.

Working for a possible future.

Published on April 28, 2017 at 6:00 by
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Seedlings

A few weeks ago i planted seeds in big pots on my balcony. I ran out of compost, so i took two afternoons to seed all the ones i had. Thyme, rosemary, coriander (cilantro), basil, rocket, catnip. And last week i seeded the Nasturtium seeds i bought on the market. Those are still deep in the earth. But the others, hopefully, are growing well. Some i’m not sure about. It could be a weed growing there, but i’ll find out soon enough.

Little basil plants
Coriander (cilantro)
Rocket leaves
Thyme (i think)
In the rosemary pot, not sure if this is rosemary or a weed
Catnip plants
Published on April 27, 2017 at 6:00 by
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Chronological

Published on April 26, 2017 at 6:00 by
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Sunday in the garden

A butterfly on the ground
Little almonds
.. and some more almonds
Chervil and purslane (postelein)
Chervil flower
Comfrey flower
Potato growing
A bean or pea, not sure
Published on April 24, 2017 at 6:00 by
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Chess

I never was any good in chess. I got a book about playing chess when i was around 11 or 12 years old. I read it all. I played on my own with the questions. The opening, middle and endgames. I enjoyed it. But i never got any good in it. I never found anybody to really play with. The book i still have i read a couple of times. I like that. I also did some of the exercises. I enjoy reading the parts about all the different sides of this game. I will most likely read it again once i finished this post! Well, over the weekend anyway.

I did have the small plastic board with the magnetic pieces. Not sure when i got this one. Didn’t do me much good. It is still a game for two people.

The computer chess game i think i got from a friend of my mother. I used to work for her a couple of years, cleaning up her house. I’m not even sure i really got this game from her, it could be it was meant to be a loan for a short time only. I never gave it back though. Sorry, i can’t remember anything about this.

*thinks hard*

Anyway, i played lots of times on this computer game. I did learn that i was quite good in setting up a defense. It is the strategy and the attack which i’m terrible at. Something which gave me an insight in my personal configuration. It is easy for me to set myself up as vulnerable, as an easy to hit figure, someone for others to protect. It is hard to stand up for myself, fight for myself, see that other people are doing something wrong. If that is the case of course.

I did play chess with postcards for a short while with an old friend. We never played it out. I also never saw her again after this. Not that we had a fight, we just grew apart. I’m not sure i really enjoyed playing it like this. I like to sit opposite someone else to really enjoy playing the game.

I did buy the game Deep Green 1.2.3 for my iPhone. I played it on there a couple of times. I love the way it looks. I also love the way the pieces move, when you play with your fingers touching the screen. Excellent.

But the best game i have, is the one i got only a few months ago. It used to be from my stepfather. After he died, this game was left over. I took it. It is a big, offical game. Staunton pieces, i’m pretty sure. I even have a chess clock. So today i set up the game. I made one of the openings i do know. One of the most well known ones: e4 – e5. These are the first moves of the Open Games. One of the rules of chess is to make as many pieces active. The center is more valuable than the sides. So these two moves are excellent starting moves. White moves its pawn from e2 to e4. It gives its bishop and queen moving space. It also sets up its pawn in the center, looking to d5 and f5. Black does the same with the same advantages. Opening up the game and the most important game pieces – knights, bishops and queeen – is the target of the opening game.

I still haven’t found anyone to play with. But i enjoy this game, even though i’m still terrible at it. I will let the chessboard stand on my table for a while. Read wikipedia about all the different aspects of chess. And maybe, one day, i will meet someone to play with. Or find some place online. You never know!

Published on April 21, 2017 at 6:00 by
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