I do recognize the event of a calling within my life. A calling is amongst other things a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence [source]. I do not consider myself to be religious, but i do value religion. In our current society religion is mostly seen as being old-fashioned, something of a bygone era. I see the many wrong things in religion, but there also many good things within it.
This calling i described has happened a couple of times in my life, the last time in 2014. Since then i let my life go through my hands. I stopped trying to earn a living, i sold my house. I still live on the money i made then.
I am still my own worst enemy. It is very hard for me to believe in this so-called calling. I still don’t. I still refuse. I just want to be myself, live my life in this world, the life meant for me. That i do believe. Our world believes in accidents, coincidences. Nothing is meant to be. I am not sure that is the truth. Even though half of me tries to convince myself that is the case, that is how this world operates. Just chance, nothing of meaning in it.
I do hope you will enjoy the weekend. Make a walk. Smile at people around you. Pat a dog you pass. Or a cat.