Money is any item or verifiable record that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts in a particular country or socio-economic context, or is easily converted to such a form.

Money. This subject is too large to handle in a single post. So i will not try that. I did categorize this post in World. The second one besides my series of people of interest to me in the world. In rest at the moment.

I spend an hour this morning being livid. Angry. Grrrrrrrrrrr. Listening to music, daydreaming. Daydreaming of sitting on the edge of a stage talking to David Bowie. Yeah… this is mainly a way to get my thoughts clear. Sorry David. No offense!

I finally stood up, sat behind my computer and did a search for money. The first page i read is I still have this page open in a tab. I did go through the Gold Bar page, Gold as an investment, Diamonds as an investment, Palladium as an investment and Alternative investment.

An alternative investment is an investment in asset classes other than stocks, bonds, and cash. The term is a relatively loose one and includes tangible assets such as precious metals, art, wine, antiques, coins, or stamps and some financial assets such as real estate, commodities, private equity, distressed securities, hedge funds, carbon credits, venture capital, film production and financial derivatives.

The past months i was thinking about the time when i will get rich. Gold seemed to me the first asset to invest in. Precious stones popped up next. Diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires. Pearls. Opals. Real estate: houses or apartments in Rotterdam, London, New York. People: providing the means to enable people to work, to create.

That was always my dream. When i would win the big prize in the lottery, i would set up a house in the center of Rotterdam. On the top floor i would live. The two bottom floors would be for work. Computers mainly, but also meeting space. A coffee bar at the front perhaps? Not that it ever happened, but still.


Time has moved on. I’m actually quite poor right now. To be honest, i have a thousand euros for the month of October left. That is it. It does scare me at times. I still feel i’m consciously steering myself towards an end. With precision. I can not let go. I can not go any other way. It is scary to openly talk about it. I hardly see my friends. Right now i still buy things like expensive nail polish. I drink coffee and have carrot cake. I simply refuse to give in. I refuse to feel desperate. I feel my hands on the steering wheel and i know it is almost time.

I hope.

If not, if i’m wrong, i will lend a bit of money and go search for a job. Plan B.

I probably should worry more about my situation. I remember one time i read a definition of manic depression. The last couple of months the similarity with a manic period did cross my mind. The need for sleep is usually reduced. But i’m not excessively happy. I hardly talk about myself. Outwardly i’m calm, relaxed. I do smile more, i do feel happy. I do try and say hello to people i meet on the streets. But i’m careful. It feels that way!

My work, this website, is of the utmost importance to me. Yes. I do mean that. So far, i haven’t been able to see far ahead with the work i’ve made. I do realize the presents i made on are receding into the background. It is songs and videoclips now. Both are new. Both are still very young. Very tentative. I love the singing, but i really need to learn so much more. I also love the videoclips. I’m a bit more adept with them. A bit more at ease. A bit more familiar ground.

So yes, i’m working. Not for money, but for myself. To make the things i want to make. And that makes me so happy. So i wouldn’t give up this time for any money. I do feel i need to continue, need to work, need to make these clips, sing these songs. And that somehow, in a few weeks time, i’ll arrive at the other end. I’ll succeed. I feel the trust in me, in myself, that it will work out. I still have a bit of time.

So yeah. Money. I know you do need it, in this world. But right now, it is of no importance to me. It is all about my work.


Published on September 30, 2015 at 6:00 by

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