Today i did some work. I had some css work this morning and a design job in the afternoon. I tried to keep it simple. Often that is the best way to handle it.
I did go to the supermarket this afternoon. I bought two more leeks. I wanted to make a leek and potato soup. Very simple recipe. Fry some leek, i used two. Add a sliced clove of garlic. Add a liter of hot water, two cubes of broth. Two handfuls of potatoes, sliced in half a centimeter width. Let it simmer for around twenty five minutes. Added a bit of cream. Yummy.
Tomorrow i’m gonna visit my mum. Not sure i will walk from the train station, depends on the weather.
It is so hard to draw. The more i look at something small and seemingly easy, like a bowl, the harder it gets. To draw the shade and light, to draw the reflections. Apart from the shape.
Photos are a lot easier. Focus, click, done.
It is not about getting the picture though. It is about looking and deciding. Not anywhere near something good. Just a sketch.
To be honest, today was a bit hazy. I know i should write more, but my mind is a bit stuck. It’ll get better. Hopefully. Tomorrow i will go for a walk. Yes!
The weather was not bad. A bit grey, yes, but some blue patches inbetween. Not too cold. It will get warmer. Soon! Wind will be from the south southwest. Many clouds, but hardly any rain. A bit of sunshine. Time for me to plan a walk, Thursday or Friday. The Kralingse Bos. Later on a walk to the Rottemeren. On a real spring day.
My mind is so full of sex. Kisses. Skin on skin. Moist. Not sure why. I want to work. Write a good post about my history with art. Make a new video clip. Draw still lifes. And yes, well ok, sex would be nice too. It is hard to control my mind. I really do not get it. I know when it started, a year and a half ago. It is like, the more i can handle it, the more i can control my mind, the worse it gets. More vivid, more real. Like i can almost touch another body. Like i can feel someone hands going over mine. It’s not. It’s all in my mind.
*sigh*
I do realize this time will not last. A changing time.
Not a very good drawing. But i did enjoy making it, even though it was hard. The more i looked at the plant, the more complicated it got. All the fine details, the tiny differences in darkness and lightness, in shine and dirt.
I did stop before i had completed the whole drawing. It is a sketch.
I will make more of these sketches. I might even do a proper still life.
A few weeks ago i thought about this song and decided it is a candidate for me to sing. I did need to sing it a few times with the song playing. I decided to have the final words as a single voice, missing out the double lyrics in that part. I do like to keep things very simple.
In her book True You: A Journey to Finding and Loving Yourself, Janet commented that she was inspired to write the track after talking to a friend about how he was unsure if he really wanted to have sex with his girlfriend, since she was sexually assertive and he was in doubt about his sexuality. She advise him to wait awhile and after that discussion she was inspired to write the track. “I connected that song to Todd and millions of young people who might need encouragement to think rather than act, to pause rather than move,” she stated.
I will always think before i act. To my own detriment.
Let’s Wait Awhile
There’s something I want to tell you
There’s something I think that you should know
It’s not that I shouldn’t really love you
Let’s take it slow
When we get to know each other
And we’re both feeling much stronger
Then let’s try to talk it over
Let’s wait awhile longer
Let’s wait awhile
Before it’s too late
Let’s wait awhile
Before we go too far
Remember that special night
When all of the stars were shining bright
We made our first endeavor to stay together
We made our very first promise
To love, to share, and be real honest
But on that very first night
It wasn’t quite right
Let’s wait awhile
Before it’s too late
Let’s wait awhile
Our love will be great
Let’s wait awhile
Before we go too far
I didn’t really know not to let all my feelings show
To save some for later so our love can be greater
You said you would always love me
Remember I said the same thing to you
You don’t have to be frightened with my love
Because, I’ll never give up on you
Let’s wait awhile
Ah well before it’s too late
You know you can’t rush love, love
Let’s wait awhile
(Ooh hoo hoo)
Before it’s too late
(Let’s wait awhile)
Wait awhile
(Our love will be great)
Let’s wait awhile
Before we go too far, oh, oh, ooh
Let’s wait awhile
(Let’s just take our time)
Before it’s too late
(Let’s wait awhile)
Your love’s so good
We shouldn’t rush in
(Let’s wait awhile)
Slow it down
(Before we go too far)
Ooh
La da lee de da da de de de, da da da da la da
La da lee de da da de de de, da da da da la da da
La da lee de da da de de de
Wednesday i went out and visited my mum and her husband Jan.
The trip up there usually takes around an hour by train. It was a bit longer this time. A sign failure. In Gouda the train stopped and went back to Rotterdam. I waited for a stop train to Utrecht, with almost all the people from the stopped train. It was really busy in the short stop train. But i had my music in my ears, watched outside at the beautiful sky, sometimes inside to all the people standing in the pathways. It was ok.
In Utrecht i walked to the train to Amersfoort, which was already standing there.
In the train i was thinking about my work. About this website. I had a couple of ideas for posts. One about the Dutch word eigenlijk. Translated to actually, genuine, really, true. Than the thought came up to write an article about my history with art. I already had the idea writing an article called Life is wonderful, but i have only the title, no content available yet. Thinking about these things brought tears to my eyes. Until we arrived in Gouda that is, when i had to get out.
The visit with my mum was great. I helped her getting a better view on her finances. Jan went sleeping. My mum and me talked about old photos. The marriage photos from my sister’s wedding in 1982. We all looked so young. Some vacation photos, photos from my cousins, the children from both my sisters. Some old photos from my mum, when she was a child. Lovely.
I stayed a couple of hours. The way back was a lot less eventful, simply straight back to Rotterdam. Just before the busy hour. The sky got darker. In Rotterdam it rained. I was happy i had a large hood on my coat to keep my hair dry. The music still in my ears.
