It is strange i feel as happy as i do. There are so many things wrong in my life, but yes, this happy is how i feel. It is intermixed with occasionally feelings of dread, but that is getting less.
Maybe i am crazy! Maybe i am confused. In two weeks time i will be without a house, with only around 1400 euros in my bank account. But i am not thinking about that at all. I am thinking about what to write or make here, on my website, my personal place.
This feeling is not new to me. I’ve had it before. And of course i know it could fail. I could be wrong. Of course. But it doesn’t seem to interfere anymore, as it did a couple of weeks ago. When i felt bad at times. Not the whole time, but still, especially at night, i worried. About my place to stay, about my money, about my future.
So here i am. Happy. I only half understand it. But it is fine. I am curious to see what the future will bring.
By the way, i am also really nervous. Exited. A huge amount of emotions are going through me. Damn!