Around 2006, 2007, i stopped seeing my old friends. It was not an anti move, more a too tired to continue to see them one. Some had moved out of town, some others had gotten children, some had gotten a relationship. I felt tired of continuing to try to connect with anyone. I huddled inside and played world of warcraft. Once around 2010, 2011 i met an old friend in the center of town. I almost cried then while we talked. It had gotten to me.
Over the next four or five years me and my old friends met a couple of times. I ate with someone, i came on their allotment, i visited their studio, i stayed over for a weekend. But it didn’t continue. It wasn’t the same, not anymore. We had drifted apart.
I was on the other side of wanting to have friends. I had crossed over. I was feeling good on my own now. Which i didn’t do while i was younger, before 2006, at least not all the time. I felt happier on my own, cheerful even.
Now i have some friends connected to certain environments. Some are friends from the garden. I enjoy seeing them, talking with them. Others are friends from the market. Each Saturday i visit the market around 11 and stay there for two to three hours. We chat about all sorts of things. I usually eat something there, mussels or haring or – eek! – some chips.
But they are not best friends. I am not sure i will ever get a best friend. Maybe that time is past, maybe i have grown up too much to be able to get a new best friend. Even though i do meet new people enough. I am open enough to talk to people i meet and chat about all sorts of things.
I don’t know where and with whom my future lies. I do hope it is somewhere in a nice place.
I wish! 🙂